Security Guards Are Recalling the Shifts That Keep Them Up at Night

I was working at a power plant that also had a water purification plant on the grounds. Across the highway there were several pump stations to pump the raw water to the WTP. That area was also owned by the local utility who employed a caretaker to watch over the grounds. The caretaker put the land to use by growing Alfalfa which he sold to supplement his pay

Ordinarily we did not check the farm after dark but the caretaker was out of town and asked us to look in on his horses. So I'm coming back from the farm to the power plant at about 230AM one morning and I notice a car parked RIGHT next to a gate leading to the power plant.

There's a guy out of the car standing at the gate. This warrants at least an "is everything alright?" check so I pull up to the car.

As I'm pulling up to the car the guy gets back in the car and throws something green out of it. (Now remember I have no authority to search the guy, ask him to get out or even ask him why he's there)

So I turn on my spot, pull up and ask him is everything OK? Do you need assistance ? About that time the smell hits me and he says "I'm having a problem."
"What kind of problem sir? Is there some way I can assist you?"
"A Mexican food problem."

At this point things are starting to add up and the guy goes on to tell me he was on his way home after going to a Mexican restaurant and had fouled his pants (That's what he threw out the window) and was trying to clean up when I caught him.

So, everything I'm being told matches everything I'm seeing (and smelling) The guy is clearly not trying to sneak into my power plant and I have no further business with him. So I reach in the back seat and grab a handful of paper towels, hand them to the guy, apologize for embarrassing him, turn off the spot and leave.

During this time I've missed my normal check in with my partner at the front gate and he and the shift supervisor ( who I didn't know was there) are getting concerned. So they call me on the radio and when I attempt to respond I start laughing and gagging into the Mic. ( I'm told I sounded like I was being choked and beaten).

So I roll up to the front gate, still unable to actually speak on the radio. I manage to get the truck door open and fall to the ground (by this time the supervisor and my partner are convinced I've been shot) and am just rolling in the parking lot.

They rush over and the supervisor begins a basic assessment to see if I'm bleeding and I roll over and am finally able to say: "HE shit HIS PAAAAAAAAAANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

After which I absolutely lose it again. End of the story, I calm down and am able explain what happened to my coworkers and my supervisor instructs me that no official report will be made. For the next couple weeks my coworker randomly yells out "HE Shit HIS PAAAAANTS!!!!!" Fun was had by all (except the dude that shit his pants).

Username: Potential-Most-3581

Was working security for an all age’s teen dance with about 5 other guys. A kid in the crowd kept removing his shirt (minor offence I know) so we politely asked him to leave. The young man immediately freaks out and throws a punch at Andrew, so James and I grabbed him and started to walk him out.

The guy is going absolutely berserk in our grasp. As we are walking we stopped and paused to get a better handle on this guy. I look James in the eye and tell him I got him (rear naked choke). I glance back and my friend is gone and I feel like I got punched in the side.

Almost immediately after, a warm sensation comes over my side. I touch my side and there is blood. Fuck. I’ve been stabbed. Turns out a massive mob formed around us while we were removing this guy and someone had stabbed me.

I walked out the big garage door of this venue to my two buddy’s (James and Andy) and kneel down and exclaim “I’ve been stabbed!” expecting them to help me. They turn and say “us too” at the exact same time.

As I stand back up Andrew is trying to figure out who is stabbing people in this crowd. The reason we didn’t know was that every one of us thus far had been stabbed in the back.

The kid was shooting in and out of the crowd stabbing security guards in the back. So Andrew does a 180 degree turn and takes the knife straight into the gut. As he does he hits the kid with his collapsible baton and hurts him.

This all occurs just outside of the venues large garage door. A large majority of the crowd is shouting for the kid that stabbed us to come back and finish us off (true mob mentality). At this point Andrew has had his intestines push out through the wound and he is fading quickly.

Suddenly, James jumps up with a baton and takes off to intercept this kid who is coming back to finish us off (he was off recovering from the baton strike somewhere away from us). I was looking after Andrew when James runs past me yelling “you want to stab somebody come get me”. The kid attempted to stab James while he was parrying using the baton.

It was single greatest act of bravery I have ever witnessed in my life. James, not knowing at the time, had a lacerated liver and kidney. After the assailant left, James had lost a significant amount of blood and actually immediately crashed. I was looking after Andrew with my back turned to the direction of the attacker. I was also the closest to him and James definitely saved my life.

The sound of sirens came about and the kid took off. The two other guards I was working were okay and did their best to contain the situation and once the police and ambulances arrived we were taken to the hospital. James, with a lacerated liver and kidney almost died and spent two weeks in the hospital.

Andrew almost died twice and spent seven weeks in intensive care. It was sheer luck that the remaining two of us made out okay with minimal impact.

Username: jkdunn

Ok, so I was working security at a bar in downtown Nashville, right on the main strip. It was "trailer park resort" themed with astroturf floors, a smashed, hardly recognizable Camaro in the front room, pictures of mullets adorned on all of the walls, and of course, the cheapest pitchers of beer on the strip. One Tuesday night I'm checking I.D.'s at the door. It's Tuesday, so I'm bored as fuck. The live band was playing, and that was about all the excitement I'd had all day.

Then I met Homeless Glenn. I saw him approaching the bar from up the street. He had a very long, wiry, gray beard and was wearing a fisherman's type hat. The kind that keeps the sun off your face when you're on a boat... or living on the street.

The first thing I noticed about Homeless Glenn was that he was in a wheelchair. There was nothing too out of the ordinary about that. The thing that bothered me the most was that he only had one foot. And that, for some reason, he refused to push the wheels on the sides with his hands. He scooted along. On one fucking foot. Slowly... laboriously... drunkenly.

He was obviously in his late 60's. He scooted up to the entrance and didn't say a word. I could smell alcohol on him, but then again, everyone smells like booze in Nashville. I let him in, not knowing that he had quite a reputation in the area for being a weird, mean drunk.

He is in the bar for MAYBE five minutes. He had got himself a pitcher of beer and was sitting, FACING THE WALL, mind you, trying to chug the entire pitcher as fast as he could. The bar manager had noticed him and told me to get him the fuck out of there, that he picks fights with people and scares away customers.

The guy looked so miserable... I didn't want to be a total dickhead. I kindly told him the manager had banned him for previous behavior, and that he'd have to leave. Without a word, he finished chugging his pitcher, and scooted off.

On that one. fucking. foot. I forgot about Homeless Glenn for the next four hours. 3:00am rolls around and I start walking up the street to get to my car. I see Homeless Glenn's wheelchair sitting in front of a popular sports bar that may, or may not have been on a popular "rescue" show.

No one was in the wheelchair. Panicked, and trying to be a good person, I rush over to the wheelchair, only to find Homeless Glenn laying unconscious, sprawled out on the concrete, pants down around his thighs, dick out, and a pool of shit coming out from beneath him.

The stench was horrendous. My first reaction was that he was dead. I ran to a nearby police cruiser and told the two officers about what had went down. They responded: "That's Homeless Glenn. He does this every night".

The officers proceeded to take cell phone pictures of Homeless Glenn, dick still flapping in the wind, and laugh at him until the paramedics arrived. They showed me a few pictures of when he had gotten so drunk he passed out, face first, into some rose bushes. It was relatively graphic.

The paramedics picked him up and put him in the back of the ambulance. The officers told me that he was too drunk to go to jail, so that he'd go to the hospital, get hydrated, and be back out on the street getting wasted tomorrow night. I didn't think I'd see him again.

Then Wednesday night, while back at work, I saw Homeless Glenn in the middle of the street with a 12-pack, slamming beer after beer after beer until the police came and poured the rest of them out.

Homeless Glenn scooted off sadly into the night. I never saw him again after that. I like to think he's found a nice, warm place that he can drink until his heart's content. But in all likelihood he's probably dead now.

Username: Komodo-Ray

Not creepy, but I almost wet my pants because of this. Around 1999-2001 a hurricane hat hit the Florida Keys just north of Key West. I was not a security guard but was sent there to stay in our facility because management was worried that people would try to break in.

We had some high end equipment there, including generators and lighting equipment, cameras, etc.. I dunno why I was chosen but likely because I had camping gear, a firearm, looked mean, and was the FNG.

The first night was uneventful. Evening was cool and nice. Second night I'm cursing management because it's hot as hell, so humid I could swim to the ceiling, and all sorts of bugs made it impossible unless I put up the tent.

This made the heat worse because inside the store there was no breeze and the tent just made the heat unbearable...but it was better than mosquitoes landing in your eyes and ears. I did think about sleeping in my car but unless I kept it running all night it wouldn't be any better.

I was just laying there sweating and stewing when I had to go to the bathroom. Of course there's no power (in a facility that has 10 or more generators) or water so I have to go outside. So I get out the tent, fumble in the dark to find where I'd placed my flashlight, fail.. decide to just feel my way to the back exit and take a leak outside.

I prop the door open and leave the store. Tt's completely black outside. I can see a billion, billion stars up above. What I couldn't see was two feet in front of me. I know that there's a small wall before the mangrove tree line and then the Gulf waters. I figure I can stand on the wall and water the trees from there.

I step onto the wall and start the process. There's a slight breeze coming from the Gulf which altered my plans somewhat. Yup, warm splatter on my legs. I lean forward slightly and grab one of the branches there, thinking I can lean forward a bit, widen my stance so that the splatter doesn't hit me, and heed Nature's call. Nature didn't like this and the branch I was holding onto broke. I fell about two feet into a wet patch of ground. I start cursing. I was a sailor once and when a sailor curses... well, it's loud.

Then came the alligator. It was just a crack of a branch at first, but the fact that it wasn't me breaking it just made me go cold. Then it was a lot of noise. Breaking branches, splashing, frantic slapping noises. I jumped as quick as I could back onto the wall.

Except that it's dark and I miss it the first time. It really felt like my foot had sunk a into the mid and was being held there. My pants are falling down around my thighs and I'm really thinking I'm about to be eated by some 30' gator. I'm frantic, trying to run, trying to hold up my pants, trying to get to the other side of a 2' high wall. I hope my family can recover my body.

Anyway, I made it up the wall the second time and rush back to the back door of the store. I still hear thrashing behind me. I make it back inside covered in mud and pee, my hands are cut up and I looked a mess.

In hindsight, it likely was just a small gator or even a cat or some other wildlife fleeing from me. But in that moment it felt like a horde of demons from hell were just about to feast on me.

Username: frank-sarno

I worked hospital security and saw lots of shit. We had a very active in-patient mental health ward and we were called there more often than everywhere else (ER included) combined.

My first non-training day we were called down immediately to mental health. Mental health is a secured section of the hospital, requiring an access code to enter/exit. It was generally frowned up by hospital staff if patients hung around the door, as sometimes patients would see the code being entered and then they'd leave the ward despite being held there by a doctor's order.

Anyways, we head down and there's a guy standing probably five feet from the door, a big no-no. So we enter and block the door as we do, but he doesn't move. We walk by him and he doesn't do anything. Go see the nurses and they ask that the guy by the door gets escorted back to his room so he can take his meds. A patient out of bed and not responding to a nurse's request was by far the most common call for us to take.

So we go talk to him and he seems very lucid. I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing at this point, so I let my partner do all the talking. Then he goes "Hey, it's your first day. You try this one out" and he steps back. Great, trial by fire.

So I'm talking to this guy about how he's feeling and just shooting the shit. I eventually say it's time to go back to your room and take your meds. He immediately tenses up. I ask him what's wrong. I'm immediately blown away as he starts speaking to me in (what I later learn) is Romanian.

This is about when the nurses finally show up. I ask him (using his name) to please speak English. He tells me his name is Jesus Christ and that I refer to him as such. Great.

I look at my partner and he laughs. Not at the patient but at me in the situation. I remember saying "Hey Jesus, can you speak English". Not something I thought I would ever say. So he transitions to English for me. Goes on about fire and brimstone and rapture and some other shit. The nurses have since gone and left to get meds for him. Diazepam, the cocktail of choice.

So we keep talking to him for a bit, and eventually my partner says (after speaking to the head nurse) that his is going to get physical as he's not going to take his meds and we're going to have to assist him to the ground so he can get his shot. Great. He says to get behind him and grab him. Great.

So I kinda circle around him and my partner starts talking to him to talk his focus off of me. It works and I'm directly behind him. He nods for me to take him down so I grab him in a bear hug and lift him up and gently set him down.

Which was pretty good cause he freaked out when I snagged him. Squirming and yelling. He was a smaller dude than me but he was crazy strong. So I'm on top of him now, holding his shoulders down. My partner has one leg, while a nurse has the other. He's struggling but definitely not going anywhere.

Now one of the nurses says "The cops finally showed up". I'm like wtf. My partner says sometimes patients get too much for us to handle and for liability purposes/training/whatever, cops get called to come assist and/or handle some situations.

As the cops get let in, the nurse gives him his shot and within 20 seconds he's already not struggling and just relaxed. The cops say that it looks like everything is good here and leave. A nurse bring the patient a wheelchair, we lift him up to it, bring him to his room and lay him down.

Talk to the nurses for 5 minutes and head back to the office to do some paperwork. My partner is laughing his ass off saying that was a hell of a first call for me but I did good. Oh and I never saw that guy again in my time there.

Username: Brajok

I wasn't technically a security guard but it was part of my shitty overnight cashier job. There was a sometimes homeless, sometimes hospital-resident psychotic man who'd wander in off the street.

Understand this is in a neighborhood where gunshots are a weekly thing. First night he comes in I'm new on the job and I'm wondering, is this guy one of the cab drivers come in to pay?

He's about seven feet tall and thin. Black, scruffy, obviously not completely there in the head. Sort of a childlike expression on his face but he's weathered. First he's asking if any of the cars are for sale and can he buy a limousine. This is a cab rental office.

Then he's asking about how we know President Obama. Then he's asking about the banquet. I say, sorry, you've got the wrong place, good night, a few times. Eventually he asks me for a light. He's got no cigarette in his hand and there's no way in hell I'm reaching into my pocket, he's close to me. I have a feeling I'll need my hands.

So I say, "You have to leave."
And he says, "What if I don't WANNA leave?"
"Then I'll have to call the cops," and I ball my fists discretely at my side as I walk to the office.
"CALL THEM BITCHES THEN!"

And I am calling the cops and he's leaving and they show up about three calls later. This happens *four times* in three weeks. The fourth time he actually stole mail and shit. This is after me physically throwing him out the third time.

By then I'm carrying a gun to work and have my wooden practice sword behind the glass. I'm protecting the female dispatchers, here. The last thing I want on my conscience is some psycho hurting or robbing the nice women who bring me brown gravy chicken on Friday afternoons.

So the fifth time he comes in I'm so done with this. I grab my practice sword and he's walked down the little hallway to the dispatch room and I manage to get the girls to lock the door before he gets in and I stand there at the end of the hall so he can't get out and have the dispatchers call the cops. I'm holding my bokken (wood sword) so if he comes near I can give him a swift one to the temple.

If he can stay upright after that, fuck it, he deserves to win the fight. Genuinely, if he were not mentally disturbed I would have probably beat him up long ago but I can't bear to hit what is essentially an overgrown child.

I tell him stay right the fuck where you are. I tell him, sit down. I don't answer his ridiculous questions about when is the helicopter arriving. He looks me in the eye and asks me if I like guns. I get ready to take his nose out, he's sitting down. He stands up and I nearly go for his knees and he... **makes coffee.** I'm worried about hot coffee to the face, this fucker is worried about how much creamer to use.

Cops come. They know him. It's taken them 5 cops to subdue him before and that's with tazers. I'm thinking, great, if anything goes down I'm going to have shoot someone. They *let him go* with a *warning* and tell me the city will never hold someone on trespassing.

He's back next week and he recognizes me. He goes outside and he tries to take my toll pouch off my motorcycle. I lose it. I call the cops and tell them what's going down and to look for the guy with the limp. I run outside and he's already leaving.

Starts moving faster when he sees me. I follow him to the edge of the property like a dog and let him go, following him with my eyes. Eventually the cops come, we go for a ride and find him, he goes to the hospital and becomes their problem again.

He's replaced the next week by a guy who liked to piss on the window around 3AM whenever he could get the dispatch girls to watch. Never caught that one.

Username: SwampJieux

Right out of college, summer of 2002, I was an armed guard at a nuclear facility. Being less than a year after 9/11, security was high. In fact, the National Guard was parked out front with surface-to-air missiles up until about 2 months before I started.

So, it’s a few months in. Training is done, I’m a normal employee. Nothing particularly interesting happens. Random-search a lot of cars, respond to a lot of false door alarms or animals setting off motion sensors at night, check equipment. That’s about it.

One day I’m working the front checkpoint with a supervisor (a former Navy something-or-other, who normally just does weapons training). There is a scheduled delivery coming to the warehouse that day. A red panel van pulls up and asks to go to the warehouse.

The driver is of an ethnicity that we all unfairly feared in the time after 9/11. No paperwork. Brand-new van with no license plates. Driver says it was new and the plates didn’t come in yet – it didn’t even have a temporary tag on it. Driver has no driver’s license or ID with him.

This means you are not getting past the first checkpoint. Supervisors call supervisors and we are told to search the van. It was probably the most nervous I have ever been in my life up to that point. I walked around behind the back of the van, my right hand on my sidearm.

My supervisor takes up position where the driver couldn’t see him in his rear-view mirror and raises his rifle. I place my hand on the handle and my supervisor gives a nod. I’m expecting to get bum-rushed by a group of terrorists, get blown to smithereens, or have the driver take off through the gate.

I fling the door open. Inside is a pallet, wrapped in shrink-wrap. We are glad there were no people in the back, but still worried it’s full of explosives. I climb in the van to look. It’s bags of some sort or powder for specialized concrete – exactly what the warehouse was expecting.

It was the most anti-climatic ending to the situation. We had the driver pull off to the side, outside our fence, and make the delivery company send another driver that has ID and authorization, to drive the van into the warehouse.

Another time of stupidity by the general public: In the morning, traffic through the first checkpoint is heavy as workers come to work. Several lanes are open as IDs/credentials are checked, cars are searched, and workers get justifiably mad at us for delaying them.

They added 2 new lanes on the outside that didn’t’ have the up-down gate arm thing installed. In the afternoon, there isn’t much going-on. You stand around, waiting for the occasional delivery, and that’s about it. We see a white SUV coming down the road.

It gets closer, pulls through the outermost lane, and keeps on going. It ran the checkpoint. Someone else in a vehicle is radioed and the SUV is pulled-over after a short pursuit. Turns out it was 2 teenage girls that took a wrong turn down the long entrance road and simply “didn’t know they were supposed-to stop.”

(Apparently guards with AR-15s standing around in combat fatigues, gates that say STOP, and vehicles with flashing lights on top were all missed). They could have been arrested, or even worse shot-at, but luckily everything turns out ok for them and they are let go with a lecture.

Username: tubetraveller

Well I do security for a meat processing plant. We have a guard shack that sits out in front of the yard for all the trailers and the parking lot is right next to the guard shack. So I pull into the parking lot and noticed a shit ton of cars on the yard which is strange but then I get out of the car and notice a trailer was dropped. The yard dog was moving a trailer and somehow pressed the release button on his truck and the trailer released as he was moving it. It bent the legs completely into the trailer and the gas tank for the reefer on the trailer. They had to have all these people come out to look at the damage to the trailer, damage to the yard, and the gas that leaked out and went into the drain. Oh and btw this guy just started as the new yard dog. Literally two days as being a a yard dog and he drops a trailer.

Fast forward two weeks and that yard dog that dropped the trailer keeps a job with the company but not as a yard dog. They put him on the production floor moving around product on pallets. Well one day I'm doing my first set of rounds and noticed the wall on the building is pushed out.

I've never noticed it before but never really cared to look. So after I finish my rounds I see the old yard dog and ask him if he ever noticed it and he says the new guy ran a forklift into the wall. The wall is in pretty bad shape. On the outside you can see the insulation and actually pull it out.

Fast forward a few months and this guy still has a job with the company. I guess they felt what he did with the forklift wasn't that bad and let him stay on it. So a couple nights ago we were having trouble with a trailers reefer unit(Keeps in the inside of the trailer cold for the meat).

I notify the shift manager on duty and he says they are probably going to switch it over to a new trailer. I say okay and they do. Well the driver comes to pick up his load and its the trailer that got reloaded into a new trailer. He drops his empty, comes to the guard shack so he can do his paperwork.

My other security guard does his walk around the trailer to record all the damages and notices a piece of a pallet sticking completely out of the trailer. I notify the shipping manager and he comes out to take a look. He says he cant send it out like that.

He says he wants me to make up an incident report of it and I say okay. I asked him who loaded the trailer and he says the same guy the dropped the trailer on the yard and ran a forklift into the wall. This guy must be giving blowjobs to all the big wigs inside to keep his job or something.

Username: BigMac2151

Two groups of known gang members came to the strip club. One of them was blackballed but I didn’t know that and management decided to let them in because there was a lot of them with a lot of money- easy decision- piss off over a dozen bad dudes or have a packed house and make money.

They were cool all night. There were two rival gangs represented, but there were a pair of cousins- one of them in each gang- and that seemed to have been enough to make a truce happen for the night.

One guy was being punked by his own people the whole night though. They kept swooping up every girl he tried to talk to. He didn’t know the etiquette of the club- he tried to start conversations and buy drinks but they kept getting taken to the lap dance section by guys who knew to just flash the cash and lead them to the back.

I felt bad for the guy. I explained how it works, asked him which girl he wanted, and as soon as she was free I waved him over and told her he wanted lap dances and didn’t know how to break the ice and he came up with money in hand he got her. Glad I did that for him... because of what happened next.

Close to closing time one of his own crew reached around behind him and smacked him on the opposite side of his head. He thought it was the guy on the side he was hit, from the rival gang. He stood to fight.

Everyone stood to fight. Bouncers rushed in. One guy got rocked so fast I never even saw it happen until we were reviewing the cameras later. But somehow we split them up and moved them to separate exists.

The women in their group were already screaming hysterically. It became a race to the trunks of their cars. The last one out in the group I ejected was the one who had been clowned all night and was hit to start the fight. As soon as I closed the door behind him, gunfire erupted.

When it was over, he was right outside that door with a glob of his brain beside him on the concrete. I looked at that stain long and hard before my next shift- it never did completely come out of the concrete.

I had not been popular with management, but between a 5 man fight I’d stopped the night before the shooting and my actions during the lockdown during the shooting, I’d earned my meal ticket and was told I would be getting better days and more hours, and as long as I kept up the good work management was going to finally be off my ass. I quit at the end of the shift instead.

Username: 49thPercentile

There was this night I showed up at the hotel I worked at and found 2 field sups waiting for me. I was like ah shit what I do. I walked in the door and sup says "we got a problem, a guy wrote a bad check and is refusing to exit the room."

So we head up with master key card and the door latch popper and knock,but got no answer. Pop the door and the field sup creeps in and makes it about half way in and turns around trying to hold in a laugh and waves us in while telling us to be quiet.

I walk in turn to the bed to find this guy buck naked holding a blow up doll and to top it off there is a crack pipe on the desk along with stolen clothes and a stolen charity jar full of coins. So we sat there for moment arguing on who was gonna wake him up.

Senior field sup ended up doing it by just pulling on the sheet. This guy opens his eyes bolt straight up grabs the doll and the pipe and knocks me down to get to the bathroom. We heard him break the pipe and flush it and start the shower where he deposited his doll.

So we wait about 5 minutes and the dude comes out beat red wearing some stolen jean with a dye tag obviously hanging out. We had already called PD at this point so we just want to stall him so we play like all we want is the money for the room.

So he follows us down to the desk pays in cash. Now to describe this guy as dirty is an understatement. He had infected pipe burns all over his hands and smelled like he had not showered in a year.

So after paying he starts turning around and it was if me and the other field sup sense the handshake coming so we literately ran around the corner leaving out senior sup to take the hit.

This sup was a retired Marine but he practically cried after shaking his hand and demanded we bring him some hand sanitizer. We were to busy laughing to even help. By the time PD got there the guy was gone but he left everything.

I heard the room had to be specially cleaned buy guys wearing full clean suits. About a week later some guy, an apparent friend of the crack head, showed up and demanded his friends stuff. He ended up getting arrested and I unfortunately didn't hear what happened after that.

Username: MxTINKxM

Not a security guard, but used to work at a hotel by myself at night doing the audit and it was in the job description. So I had worked for a particular hotel that was out in the middle of nowhere so we didn’t usually have a ton of guests.

I had recently gotten a talking to about letting people come in and use the restroom in the middle of the night. Whatever. I don’t care. Not paid enough. Anyhow...

The day after I get told about the new restroom policy, the doors open at around 11:30. I’m on autopilot and go to check this guy in and I don’t really look at him. After not understanding a word he’s saying, I can see that he’s not only deaf (or hard of hearing. He had a hearing aid and wasn’t using ASL, but could communicate), but he’s covered in scratches. I asked if he was in an accident and if he needed help. He told me no, but needed the bathroom. No problem, go ahead.

At my position, I can hear, but not see the bathroom door. I hear him go in and clean himself up, debating on whether or not I should call the cops on this guy. He doesn’t seem disoriented other than hearing, so I say fuck it. He comes out of the restroom, but doesn’t come back.

After a second or two I go to check what he’s up to. Bleeding deaf kid is making a coffee. I told him if he’s cleaned up, he’s got to go. Wants to drink his coffee. I don’t care, I’ve got nothing to do but wait so I keep him in my line of sight. Dude starts asking me about painting on the wall and all sorts of stalling time. I’ve had enough and ask him to leave. He does with no problem.

Weirdest thing. I can’t wait to tell the breakfast lady when she comes in. I do. About 5:45 AM a cop (guy I knew) comes in and says “Did a bleeding deaf kid come in here last night?” “Yeah, it was all sorts of fucked up and weird” I say.

Well the kid got high on something and decided to rob a restaurant next door by throwing himself through the glass window. He was armed and arrested face down in the middle of the highway 10 minutes after he left the hotel.

I was told I was lucky, but why didn’t I call the cops. My response was that I worked for a bunch of dicks and didn’t care. I didn’t get paid enough to bother in anyone’s business but my own. Crazy.

Username: Creepy-Vermicelli529

I do school security. This particular school I was working at happens to be built on what used to be Catholic Mission grounds. I had various co-workers who had worked there for many years tell me that rumor has it that the locker room/gym area is haunted.

Well I got to experience that first-hand. I was working a Sunday gig. We contract our gym out to a basketball league who holds tournaments there. I got assigned to be the security on staff. The gym is connected to the locker rooms, weight room, dance studio, and a long hallway of empty gutted offices.

Halfway through my shift I really needed to use the restroom. I was patrolling near the outside of the dance studio and remembered that there was a restroom adjacent it, the last door of the long gutted offices.

As soon as I entered I could tell that the restroom was rarely used. Luckily there was toilet paper. I used the restroom and went back towards the gym to patrol. A couple hours pass and I had to use the restroom again. I decided to go back to the same restroom I had previously used.

Well that’s where the scary part happens. The toilet paper was stretched out across the floor. The medicine cabinet mirror was open (I had not opened it). And lastly, there was a pendant of St. Christopher on top of the toilet paper dispenser with the engravings “Pray For Us.” On the back.

I grabbed it and quickly exited the restroom and went to use the one in then gym. I typically try and not use the same restrooms available to guests if there’s other option.

Now the even scarier part was that there was Absolutely NO WAY any guest could’ve accessed that room. A Master Key is needed to access the doors that connect all the departments within the gym and I was the only one with a Master Key there that day.

I’ve dealt with a lot of crazy shit in my time working Secuirty, but never anything I can’t explain. When I used to do hospital Secuirty, I’ve dealt with gun shot victims, fought crazies, people undergoing drug psychosis, seen so much... But All of that is explainable.

Username: Material-Body-4532

I intitally started working in security after I was discharged from active duty back in late 08. Well, I got my first civilian job for a local firm, and it was awful. The hours were always graveyard and the job sites were low income section 8 housing apartments in the ghetto.

Despite having my armed permit and vest, I was pretty much alone for 10 hours until my shift was over. My first night on the job I encountered a prostitute giving a customer a blow job in his car...of course I let them finish, it's rude to interrupt.

Had to call in 4 domestic disputes, deal with the homeless, vandalism, and noise complaints. Given the fact that the complex was poorly lit, being attacked on the job was a constant danger, since the idiots that ran the firm were adamant about having their guards resemble the local police department.

I ended up quitting that firm due to poor pay practices (late checks) and labor law violations. Not to mention the hours were just awful and the job sites were shitty altogether.

So I then moved on to working in nightclubs starting off in small i.e. (ghetto) nightclubs, became pretty good at breaking up brawls (women fight the dirtiest) and you know what, it doesn't matter if it's the most ghetto club or the highest class of club. Some nasty activities are going the bathrooms.

Nothing like walking in and seeing people fucking or about to fuck, how about doing a line or two of blow. Yep that was too damn common, I got the call to check the bathrooms, and it's locked so I think that's really fucking odd, only a handful of people in this club have the keys for that.

So I get my supervisors key and opened the door, walked into the men's room and seen this guy, pants down just railing the head waitress in the stall. No shame just pounding away, I radio my suspervisor and tell him what I see.

I kid you not I hear "don't bother let 'em finish" so I lock the door and go back to watching the floor, turns out it was some off-duty sergeant from the local P.D. and is a good friend of the owner.

Username: MR502

I used to work Security at a steel plant, did that job for nearly a decade. It wasn't a great job, but I was good at it, so that's something. It was a big more than your casual rent-a-cop, We actually had OSHA responsibilities and were certified First Responders, as well as HAZWOPER-certified. Most of us, anyway.

So, my third year I'm 22 and working the afternoon shift, 4pm-midnight. Pretty great shift, to be fair. Anyway, around 11:30pm this trucker comes in. Looks just like Lochlyn Munro. Clean cut guy, polite, had all his paperwork and PPE with him.

Gives me his information, I do what I need to do and his girlfriend comes into the booth. I ask him if he has the paperwork from his company for a passenger in his truck, he says no. I said she has to stay in the booth(or near it, just not allowed in the warehouse with him) He shrugs, doesn't give me hard time.

He looks at his girlfriend, your standard issue blonde. Pretty but generic. You've seen a thousand of them. That's not an insult, just laying the groundwork for an image. He looks at her and asks her if she wants a quick suck. I laugh because I honestly thought he said fuck. She smiles and nods.

He rolls up his left arm sleeve. There's a white(God I hope it's not PVC) straw-looking tube sticking maybe a quarter inch out of the inside of his elbow. He pulls out a rubber(?) stopper and it starts oozing blood.

She leans over and laps at the blood trailing down his arm. This goes on for maybe 30 seconds and I say nothing, I do nothing because holy fuck I'm only 22 and I am not old enough to deal with this shit.

He pushes her away gently and plugs the tube. Goes and does his thing in the warehouse. I have no idea what happened after that because my relief showed up shortly afterwards. I may have survived an encounter with Vampires.

Username: FlashBewin

Okay I got the best security story there is. First shift at as a hospital security guard during graveyard, we get a guy in who has already KO'd a paramedic trying to get him in and he is in restraints to his stretcher.

Story is that he consumed something not meant for human consumption and will die if the doctors don't filter it out of his system. This call for minor surgery in which the doctor has to cut into an artery along his inner thigh to attach a device that will filter his blood.

Problem with this is that the guy is built like a freaking tank, were talking WWE wrestler size and everyone is convince he could break the restraints soon, and espically on the operating table.

The issue is that as they need to filter the blood, the doctors can't put him out or that drug will slow down the process. Worse is that he would stop breathing due to the substance in his system, so a nurse had to slap him to keep him going.

So which brings us to the moment I will never forget; five security guards hold a guy in restraints down. A doctor having to first shave the man's delicate area and then cut into his aerty which you would expect caused some bleeding. All the while the nurse has to keep his guy conscious throughout the ordeal. That was bleeping crazy.

Now stories not involving me go from a guard who witnessed a crane malfunction in the morgue which caused a body to hit the ground hard (no open casket at that funeral). To the more than a few stories of having to restrain women patients. For the record women who are mentally ill or on some sort of drug, are 10x worse then men.

Guys just trying to punch, a woman will try bleep you up, were talking biting, scratch (flipping nails are a weapon), and the dreaded low blows. Guys never cheat on your significant other if she is female; you don't want find out what a loss in mental faculties will result in.

Username: canadiancpa

Not sure if this is security related enough, but yeah...when I was in the oil field we had a few months where all the rigs had gate stations at the entrance with someone there signing you in and out...in case the rig blew up they wouldn’t have to spend time looking for a body of someone who had just left...with most of the folk manning the gates being old ladies that worked as flaggers for construction.

One location had this younger girl who was always really energetic and frantic. So yeah...drugs we all thought. One day we roll up at the gate shack thing...which is a metal box with a door, hanging out in the hot ass wasteland of wyoming...where you have to wear bull shit fire resistant clothing in case the rig blows up they can ID body by any tattoos not on your hands or face...and this girl comes staggering out, her coveralls all the way open, nothing on under them, one boob hanging out, clip board in hand, to sign us in.

I’m the one driving so I’m the one talking to her telling her who all is in the truck and what company we are...and she is out of her ducking head. Like Charlie Brown’s teacher on helium played backwards. Powder all over her nose.

Takes like a full ten minutes of her scribbling shit down that I’m sure had nothing to do with anything I told her before she hits the button to raise the gate and geeters her way back into the oven.

We get to work, and a few hours later find out our boss is showing up on location for a meeting with a bunch of high ups. Like, on their way, be there in five.

We keep doing our thing...and like an hour later everyone realizes no one has shown up...and one of us looks over at the gate...where like six fancy ass pick ups are parked in a line outside, and there’s a small crowd pounding on the gate shack. Girl had passed out up against the door and they damn near had to kick it in to wake her up.

Username: [deleted]

I've been in security for a couple years now. I hate the job, absolutely hate it. However, its perfect for a student. I can study at work when I need to, and I play video games when I don't need to study. Currently playing through Fallout New Vegas. So the amount I get paud versus how much work I actually do is the only reason I haven't quit.

Back track to 2012 and my favorite story. The cheesecake bomb. I worked at the time doing security in downtown Tampa. The RNC in 2012 was a huge deal. Federal agents, police, and extra security everywhere.

I grew up with law enforcement in mt family, so I love bro-ibg around with cops and federal agents (who are usually cool as hell, especially U.S. Marshals). My supervisor was everything people hate about security gaurds. Her shift ended at 10pm, yet she always stayed till 11pm because I don't think she trusted us. She also brought her dog to work and hid it in the office.

So she's walking her dog at 11pm. She sees a homeless guy drop a box near a bush when she turned the corner. She freaks out and calls the bomb squad. Now, we were a really important location during the RNC, so a bomb threat was a huge deal.

15 cop cars, 5-6 unmarked SUVs, a ton of foot officers, a few officers on horses, and several k9 officers. Altogrther about 30 officers and agents. Bomb sniffing dog is very interested in the box, but doesn't alert to anything.

Officer opens the box and.... Its a fucking half eaten cheesecake. We're watching this whole thing go down. Officer turns around with a slice of cheesecake in his hand and jokingly offers it to the next closest officer, grinning like a fool.

She never lived down the cheesecake bomb, which was very clearly not a bomb from less that 15 feet away.

Username: azazelsnutsack

I don’t know why, but I decided to try and work as a security guard, wasn’t what I expected at all, drive from 1 place to another for 12 hours all alone at night and make sure windows are closed and doors are locked and that noone is there.

One of the places my company had was this high school that was in this super old building, 8 floors high and no functioning AC with 30c and humid as fuck outside.

The building was decked out in old hardwood floors and on one spot on every floor if you stepped on a spot it would make a noice in the floor like 20-30m back behind you, and you’re there in pitch blackness with only your flashlight to see anything.

And the crazy thing is this soundtrigger would happen at different spots depending on what floor you were on, I patrolled that building so fucking fast every night cuz every night I was scared shitless someone was going to be there randomly and I was going to assume it was just that one spot.

Then one night, I finish the route, lock up and turn on the alarm on the bottom floor, (the bottom floor was just offices so not as bad as the other floors), I leave and 2 minutes later my phone rings and it’s larmcentral telling me the alarm has been triggered at this school.

I fucking have to go back?! They tell me where the alarm has been triggered (bottom floor) so I go back, flashlight out and fucking expandable baton in the other hand, go through the entire floor, doors are all still locked and no trace of anyone there.

I call back to larmcentral say noone is there, and the alarm goes off again, so I go to the office which is only a few minutes away and we check the cameras.

It was a rat as big as a fucking cat and I didn’t even see or notice it, because when I was patrolling it went under a table and stayed there until I was done.

Username: norielukas

I worked as an security guard in a fancy shopping mall in a major Canadian city. There was an big construction site inside the mall and the big unloading of construction materials was usually done at night to not disturb the customers during the day/shopping hours.

All the workers had to sign in to the site and after they were done sign out. This Night there were three guys signed in with there company, name and batch. One just turned up like half an hour late. I thought nothing about it, but after they were done and came to sign out only two of them came.

I asked where the third guy was and they looked at me super confused. Only them two were assigned to work tonight. I showed them the name and signature of the third guy and no one had heard that name despite the fact, that he was wearing the company’s high vis vest.

Me and another security guard had seen him at the desk. We radioed the other two guards, who were doing patrols. We asked if they had seen a dude like 6“0 tall with short brown hair and high vis vest? No one had seen him so we all searched the mall. There were only two ways to get into the mall and both were watched over by cameras and guards.

We locked the doors from the inside and searched the whole damn building. After we found nothing we took a look at the surveillance videos and we indeed found the guy heading into the sheeted off construction site. Inside the actual construction site there were no cameras unfortunately.

We lighted up the whole site looked under every sheet, behind every corner but nothing. We were baffled until the end of the shift. We told everything to the Dayshift. Until this day no one was found, nothing was stolen, nothing was broken. The dude just vanished.

Username: Banshee39

Define most fucked up. I've worked in hospitals and seen the worst of psychosis/dementia or worked council security where Ive been the first to car wrecks. They suck but it happens and is pretty common enough that I feel okay knowing I experienced seeing them.

However this one dude sticks to my mind, I was working council security and got a call from the local police saying that there was a guy going around sexually assaulting people, he just escaped custody and is on the run without pants....wtf. We're told not to approach him as he is mentally unwell and has raped people.

Anyway hours later I'm doing lock ups at some random park about 5km from his last seen location, so didn't expect anything. I walk around a corner and see some dude covered head to toe in mud. He had excavated a small tunnel out of mud/rocks/twigs from the storm drain of a nearby building into an area that was basically boobie trapped with human shit as the bait....duded trapping, killing and eating rats which I could see proof of nearby.

I go to get back in the car when he spots me and starts conversation, I'm a 6'2 male so I just said fuck it and started talking to him. After 20 minutes I gathered that he didn't know where he was, he saw shit that wasn't there and 110% believed that he was sent by god to re do the bible or something along those lines.

He told me that he saw good in me and asked if I was religious, can't remember what I said after that but basically wished him well, got in my car and called the cops, then wrote the craziest report me or my co workers had ever seen.

I will never forget that man, his muddy penis or the torn apart rats who were lead to their death by a literal maniac and his dirt trap engineering.

Username: doomedtobeme

I was working on a contract for my company which was a call center. It was my main contract so I was there 40 hours a week or more. I would come in at 5pm and stay until 2am. When I would start my shift there was a employee shift change and they would be getting dropped off while I was talking to the other guard.

There was always a girl that would get dropped off and her boyfriend would be yelling at her and she would always get out of the car, face bright red, with tears streaming. Almost every single day. I finally had enough of it by the third day and I stopped him and told him that I will ban him from the parking lot if he doesn't contain himself while on the property. He agreed.

The next day he drops he off and I her him yelling "You stupid fucking bitch" and other insults and he steps on the gas, peels out, and almost hits one of the employees with the girls manager standing only a few feet away.

The manager talked to me about firing the girl and said that she wanted me there, which was standard for any firing. However I talked to the manager and smoothed things over for her and said I would ban her boyfriend when he comes to pick her up in the evening. She agrees and told me if it happened again she wanted her gone.

I walk out and confront the guy and he instantly goes ballistic. He said he doesn't do that and that I am a piece of shit. I laugh everything off and tell him he needs to leave. He reached out his window and grabbed me by the shirt and started to tell me he was going to get out and kick my ass.

I grab my ASP baton and with it closed I put it across his forearm and put pressure on it and he instantly releases his grip. He then apologized and I told him not to come back and made him sign a trespass order. I reported the entire incident to my supervisor and wrote a log of all the incidents leading up to this and his reaction.

The following week a police officer pulls up to my office and asks to get the girl. I tell him go ahead and he takes he in his patrol car. My heart instantly dropped because I knew she had kids and that the asshole that I have dealt with was in charge of watching them while she was gone.

She came back later that night hysterical and in tears and I instantly knew what happened. She didn't say anything to me, but I had a gut feeling. After she gathered her things and left a detective approached me and asked me if I knew the asshole. So I gave him what I knew and asked him, "How are the kids? He hurt them didn't he?" The officer then asked me what I knew and even came to my house the next day to get my statement and record it.

I ended up figuring out that he did in fact kill her child and was even summoned to testify. I walked in the court told them what had happened and the very next day he was denied bail and his bail was increased. They ended up convicting him and the detective I talked to said that I was the main factor in them pursuing murder charges and not manslaughter and he thanked me.

I walked into work after the trail and was greeted by the girl, who yelled at me for getting in her business and how she lost her boyfriend because of me. I told her that I didn't care and that I did the right thing and asked her and pleaded with her to go to counseling.

Even today she still won't talk to me despite seeing her on a daily basis at our children's school. Always get glares from her and she even told her son to stay away from mine right in front of me.

I just can't believe she would act that way. Also, saw two homeless guys going at it in an alley. Not the greatest moment of my life.

Username: dGaOmDn

I was working security at a hospital which is about as awful as you think it is. My best story was the first time I ever went hands on with someone. Myself and another officer were called into the ER for a suicide watch.

Anytime someone threatened to harm themselves security would have to come in and keep them in sight at all times until they could be transferred to the psych wing in the hospital. This woman was intoxicated and very argumentative and angry. Angrier than I'd ever seen someone.

There was no talking to her. The situation was already bad before we walked in. Add a couple guys in uniforms and badges and things just got worse. She was wearing a dress but she had a pair pants pulled up past her knees, trying to pull them the rest of the way on.

She didn't want us watching her. Arguably understandable but there were no female officers nor any female nurses or orderlies available to conduct the suicide watch so we were it. She started trying to pull the curtain closed to her room.

That's a major no-no when you're on suicide watch so my partner and I pull it back open. I try to explain to her why it needs to be open, for her safety and ours, and she just pulls it closed on me again. Again, he and I pull it back open.

This last time she waited at the curtain and got into a tugging match with my partner over the curtain. I saw what was about to happen and had just enough time to say "oh shit!" Before this woman bursts through the curtain like a freaking nightmare and attacks my partner.

I'm able to tackle her at her side and all three of us fall backwards onto the bed but she has started to bite down on my partners forearm. He's screaming that she's biting him, alarms are going off, code is being called for a violent patient, it was complete pandemonium.

I'm luckily wearing Kevlar lines duty gloves and I'm able to quickly force her jaw open, stopping her from breaking the skin of my partner but in doing so she's able to break free of me and go after him again. I jump on her back and ride her to the ground where my partner and I are able to subdue her.

All the while she's biting and spitting and kicking at us. Nurses come over to help, and my fellow officer shouts for somebody to get her legs.

One of the nurses calmly tells us that she has no legs. I almost ask what the fuck they mean when a male nurse reaches down and pops the woman's false legs off of her. She was a double amputee, just below the knee.

And this woman fought like a lion. We didn't know that she was a double amputee because her pants were pulled up over them. No one told us until that moment.

We got into a wrestling match, bit, spit on, and even kicked by a person without legs and we didn't even know it. Boy, did my fellow officers ever have a field day with that one.

Username: Dryden1663

I worked security in a hospital in Abbotsford and could go on endlessly about hundreds of incident reports I filed out, none of which were ever followed up by any criminal investigation of any kind. At the time I worked in that hospital, Abbotsford would have to be defined as completely lawless.

Let me give you the best example of the failings of law enforcement. One of the most consistent problems we had in the hospital was people brawling in the waiting room. One of the very worst I could remember took place right in the line of sight of police officers who did absolutely nothing.

There was a family of six people where a fist fight broke out between two brothers which turned into an all out brawl between all family members right smack in the middle of a crowded waiting room.

A soon as the fight broke out I could see two police officers approaching directly towards the waiting room but doing nothing to intervene. I was completely on my own trying to unsuccessfully get these people to leave who just flat out refused. And not helping, the cop contradicted me and said they had the right to be there.

***THANKS A FUCKING LOT YOU DUMB COP SHITHEAD. BTW YOU'RE DEAD WRONG!***

You only have the right to be in a hospital if you are seeking medical attention. If you're just a visitor you can get your ass kicked out.

Every municipality has this as a law to prevent homeless people from camping out on hospital grounds. If they have the right to be there, you can't kick them out. But try telling a dumbass cop the law, good luck.

When this family stopped pounding on each other, and not because of any intervention by the police, but only because they decided to. I begged the cop saying I need these people either arrested or at least removed from the premises.

The cop flat out refused. Not a chance. not taking action of any kind. He listened to the father of the family, a fuckin little garden gnome-faced asshole make a bald faced lie "We didn't do nothing" which the cop accepted, and made a promise they would behave, which the cop accepted.

After the cop left I swear he was not thirty seconds out of the line of sight the whole fight started up again except it was worse than ever. An innocent bystander who was hooked up to a portable IV unit was knocked to the floor and a $5000 bottle of IV fluid was smashed.

I begged that patient to please try to press criminal charges against the family so I could at least get rid of these people out of the building. He flat out refused saying he wasn't going to waste his time because the cops don't do fuck all in that town. That fuckin lawless town of Abbotsford, British Columbia.

Username: Patches67

Well I do security for a meat processing plant. We have a guard shack that sits out in front of the yard for all the trailers and the parking lot is right next to the guard shack. So I pull into the parking lot and noticed a shit ton of cars on the yard which is strange but then I get out of the car and notice a trailer was dropped.

The yard dog was moving a trailer and somehow pressed the release button on his truck and the trailer released as he was moving it. It bent the legs completely into the trailer and the gas tank for the reefer on the trailer.

They had to have all these people come out to look at the damage to the trailer, damage to the yard, and the gas that leaked out and went into the drain. Oh and btw this guy just started as the new yard dog. Literally two days as being a a yard dog and he drops a trailer.

Fast forward two weeks and that yard dog that dropped the trailer keeps a job with the company but not as a yard dog. They put him on the production floor moving around product on pallets. Well one day I'm doing my first set of rounds and noticed the wall on the building is pushed out.

I've never noticed it before but never really cared to look. So after I finish my rounds I see the old yard dog and ask him if he ever noticed it and he says the new guy ran a forklift into the wall. The wall is in pretty bad shape. On the outside you can see the insulation and actually pull it out.

Fast forward a few months and this guy still has a job with the company. I guess they felt what he did with the forklift wasn't that bad and let him stay on it. So a couple nights ago we were having trouble with a trailers reefer unit(Keeps in the inside of the trailer cold for the meat).

I notify the shift manager on duty and he says they are probably going to switch it over to a new trailer. I say okay and they do. Well the driver comes to pick up his load and its the trailer that got reloaded into a new trailer. He drops his empty, comes to the guard shack so he can do his paperwork.

My other security guard does his walk around the trailer to record all the damages and notices a piece of a pallet sticking completely out of the trailer. I notify the shipping manager and he comes out to take a look. He says he cant send it out like that.

He says he wants me to make up an incident report of it and I say okay. I asked him who loaded the trailer and he says the same guy the dropped the trailer on the yard and ran a forklift into the wall. This guy must be giving blowjobs to all the big wigs inside to keep his job or something.

Username: BigMac2151

I worked security in a nightclub for about a year. I'm not really a big guy either but I wasn't half bad at brawling. I was like 19 so I was a total asshole the entire time I worked there, just like the rest of the guys. We threw people out for minimal reasons, railed women on a nightly basis and all-in-all it was a fun time.

I'd thrown out guys that were huge, roided up, gangs of guys, you name it. I had never had a beating, I mean I took the odd punch but that's just the job perks. One night, right at the end of my shift this toilet attendant (nigerian dude) runs up screaming there was fighting in the toilets.

Of course, I run in there to see two guys having an argument, but it was just a mildly raised-voices kind of affair. The manager is shouting for me to throw them out, and as anyone that works in security will know that removes any personal choice from the matter.

Being the dickhead I was at the time I grab one under the arm and start dragging him out. The door kind of funneled into a narrow pass before going out into the bar, all of his friends rushed in throwing punches and I heard Leonidas from 300 in my head "In this narrow pass, their numbers will count for nothing" (it's amazing what goes through your head when you're a nerd).

Slowly but surely I was brawled back into the toilet when the arse-kicking of a century would commence. My shirt was ripped apart, my earpiece ripped into multiple frayed pieces of cable, my radio smashed into 4 different pieces and before I knew it I was lying with my back on the ground, stangleholding one of them while my sides, face, everything was stamped, crushed, booted and volleyed.

I'm not going to lie, I got my whole world rocked. I couldn't help thinking, during it that this was karma for the arse I'd been to people up until this point.

When eventually I emerged from the toilet, after the beating had ceased, semi-concious, blood-spattered and pretty much naked from the savagery people just screamed at the sight of me.

Like 20 minutes later, I threw up, lost conciousness and was taken to hospital where I was told I had 4 broken ribs, two that were fractured, a broken wrist, a severe concussion, broken jaw, both ankles sprained and most of my knuckles were mashed.

On a positive note, I banged every female employee in that nightclub within a 3-6 month period afterwards.

Username: Senen182

I've worked quite a few private security jobs, but one story comes to mind. I was working security for a big mining and smelter company a few years back. I was posted on the side of the plant where we worked alone. Was going in to work the night shift, so it was supposed to be quiet like usual. When I got there, the guy I was relieving said there was a boat in the port unloading material, so that meant all the guys that worked for the plant had to unload the boat. So I was really alone, there wouldn't be anyone around at all.

A few hours into the shift I did my usual rounds and locked the gates. Nothing unusual up to that point. Around 2 o'clock in the morning, I could see a dark figure walking up the road coming toward the guard house. I heard the outside door open, then close again. I looked around, and seen nothing.

Still wondering about that dark figure, I got up to look out the window, still couldn't see nothing. Looked toward the door that opened and came face to face with a Filipino midget. "Umm...can I help you?" A little startled at that point. He then started talking some form of crazy language, not sure what it was. I understood boat somehow, and directed him to the gate down the road. He then waved and walked out. I then continued my paper work.

About 30 mins later, I went for a patrol of the offices. When I got back, I came face to face with the little fella again, this time on the inside of the gate, inside the plant.

My exact words were "how in the actual fuck did you get in here?" He made a motion for water, so I gave him a glass and unlocked the gate for him to leave, pointing him toward the same place as before.

About 20 minutes later, the midget came back, opened the door and said he can't get in the gate down the road. I said to try the speaker on the outside of the gate. He then left again. I jumped in the company truck I had, and headed through the plant to the other gate.

I told the guard about the situation, and he had no idea. We waited and he didn't show up. He went looking and couldn't find him. The little guy shows up 30 minutes later, no idea where he was at that time. We stopped him and I called the police.

He was obviously confused and lost. Apparently, he was from Taiwan, and got dropped off so far away from his destination it was crazy. How do you fuck up that bad?

Long story short, midget Filipino fella becomes a ghost, goes through locked gates somehow, and is 3000 miles away from where he's supposed to be.

Username: jdog100

I work nights and live in a quiet apartment complex near St. Pete, Florida. It was an otherwise quiet night and I was out on my balcony at 4AM having a beer and a smoke when I heard a distinctive "pop" of a handgun. I lean over the railing to see whats going down and I see/hear nothing. Then a 2nd shot rings out, but it otherwise sounds peaceful. Then a third louder shot rings out followed by another dramatic pause.

So I start to get worried. As I'm heading inside all hell breaks loose. The shots get much louder and the shooter empties his 1st clip. I hear windows breaking, a lady screaming, and small Japanese engine coming down the block breathing fire at red-line.

I kill the lights, hit the deck, and scramble for my phone. As I'm laying on my belly calling 911 in the dark I hear another lady outside my apartment screaming at who I suspect was a 911 operator "There's a man on the sidewalk shooting into the apartments"....

"Oh fuck"-me. At this point I'm completely freaked out and can't leave without getting spotted and my car is in back which would require me to drive past the neighbors where all this is going down. So I do what any unarmed man would do. I laid down in the bathroom listening to the sound of a second clip fly through the air and I pissed on myself a little bit.

After a minute of silence I crawled to the window in my still piss soaked underwear to peek out to see the cops were coming down the street. I was never so happy to see the police. They parked in front of my apartment, opened the trunk to grab riffles, and I told then I heard approx.

18 shots fired somewhere 120' up the road. They slowly walk in pairs up the sidewalks with guns at the ready and one guy stays back to cover point and direct incoming backup units. Then I see Michael.

He's an overweight security guard who lives below me. He's just coming home with his over stuffed bag of McDonalds, bi-focal glasses, and his "I'll save the world attitude." He reminds me a lot of George Zimmerman, in the fact that he would probably get his ass kicked by a teenager.

Confused he walks right up to the swat guy in full body armor, helmet, and loaded assault riffle asks without hesitation "what's OUR status"?

I started dying laughing right in front of them both. "What, is your blazing 40 yard dash time and grease soaked bag of Big Macs gonna make some gangster surrender. Way to save the day Michael!

Username: DrunkWizardSailor

I was working at a large music festival in Tennessee several years ago. It was probably about 4 or so in the morning and my section (I was a supervisor) of the festival was fairly tame and in control so I headed to the gates to see how things were going.

Over the radio a call came from a fellow guard stating that he had a naked girl at the fountain and was unsure what to do (insert virgin joke here). Since I was the nearest supervisor (and a naked female was involved).

I headed over to see what I could do. Sure enough there was my guard, a naked girl and a friend of hers. The naked girl really wanted to dance in the fountain, her friend was trying to get her to get dressed and leave.

There was also a random dude hanging out just leering, like 3 feet from her. I quickly decerned that there were drugs involved, probably x. The girl kept trying to go in the fountain mostly being detained by her friend. Her friend was all " no problem here, just leave us alone and go away."

Once she figured that I was there to help, not arrest she got a lot cooler. Suddenly naked girl decides this is a good place as any to take a piss and just lets it loose. Charming. I explain to the naked girl that even though it goes against everything that I believe in that perhaps she should get dressed for her own safety.

She asked why it was unsafe. I asked if she knew the young gentleman standing right next to her leering. She looked at him as if she was unaware of his presence till that moment as she answered no.

That's when I told him to get lost and explained to the girl that I really just wanted her to have a great night and to wake up tomorrow with no regrets or harm inflicted upon her. So we compromised.

I suggested that she put on her skirt and remain topfree, then when she got back to her camp she could disrobe and enjoy her nudity in relative safety. This was agreed upon. Well for some reason her friend, who is female, did not know how to put on a wrap skirt.

So that job became mine. As I'm bending over and wrapping my arms around her waist to attach the skirt, full bush right in the face, I say "Pardon my familiarity". Her friend finally laughed as it seemed to release some tension.

The two girls, one without a blouse walked of towards the gate with a friendly wave and a thanks. The original guard turned to me and remarked "That ended better than I thought it would". Good Times.

Username: naking

I was guarding an Albertsons that had been gutted and used to store construction equipment for a construction company. I literally just sat in my car and circled the building and didn't have to answer to anyone or have anyone check up on me.

One night I'm sitting in my car facing the building and out of the shadows a woman walks towards the front of the building. She had no shoes on, short pajama style shorts and a thin white spaghetti strap top, it was like 37 degrees so immediately I'm like "what the fuck??"

And watch her, I noticed that she was VERY alert and checking her surroundings constantly like her head was on a swivel, and then all of a sudden she darts behind a concrete column at the front of the building.

A Honda had just pulled into the lot and she noticed it before I did and she was keeping the column between the car and her, the car was creeping slow like they were looking for someone and as it drove past her she shifted so that they couldn't see her behind the column.

At this point alarm bells are ringing in my head and I get out of my car. The Honda leaves the area and she sees me, she knows I see her and she starts running over, I ask "do you need help? Are you ok? What's going on?"

She just tells me to call the cops and she's like scared crying (idk how to describe it it's not crying from sadness or anything it's like pure terror, tears, and gasping) I start calling the cops and the fucking Honda rolls back into the parking lot, INSTANTLY she's like "oh... Nevermind... It would be better if you don't get involved" and starts walking to the car like she's about to be executed... She got in the car and that was that...

It's been like 3 years and I still think about it. Rape? Human trafficking? Abusive boyfriend?? I have no fucking clue but my blood runs cold when I stop and remember about that night. I hope she's ok but I doubt it. I wrote this out really fast at work and don't have time to edit it for grammar and spelling, apologies in advance.

Username: [deleted]

I'm working the overnight shift for my hotel, when we receive a 911 call from a room, we immediately call the room and start to send someone up to the room. A lady answers and stated that everything was fine right now. The other guys went to the room, and everything was quiet.

About half an hour later, this woman comes down to the front desk and stated that her husband had abused her and her daughter and wanted to call the police and didn't know where he was. We instantly took her behind the front desk and placed her in an office with the MOD.

I was able to get a description from her and start trying to find this guy. We can't find him. As we wait for the cops, this man who meets the description comes up and asked if we have seen his wife and daughter.

I look at this man.....This poor poor man. See, what had happened was, His wife started hitting him, so he picked up the phone and dialed 911. She grabbed the phone and hung up and started hitting him with the phone. He left the room immediately as not to get beat up any more which is why he wasn't there when the room was checked and everything was ok.

When the cops show up, they see the man, and the woman. They get the stories and I know whats about to happen. I tell the man to leave the area with his daughter. He wanted to know what was going on, he wasn't pressing charges. I told him he needed to leave now and not let his daughter watch what was about to happen.

The two cops begin to cuff the woman who goes NUTS. She starts screaming as loud as she could, you could hear her all throughout our lobby. Shes fighting these cops and eventually they are able to get her under control and take her to the car.

You always hear of stories of how men beat their wives more often and people always take the side of the woman. I was that guy that night. But I learned that isn't true and I now always stay neutral. It's a sad story, but a great training story/tool I use.

Username: nonmoxs