People Are Revealing the Absolute Weirdest Thing They've Seen or Been a Part of

I bartended a **MASSIVE ORGY.** I work in tech, but during the .com bomb, I got a job at an underground afterhours club in San Francisco.

One day I asked my roommate/friend/boss "So, what's tonight's theme? House? Goth?" He just said "You'll see." Me: "Dude, just tell me. sheesh." I should have known that was a major red flag.

So, we get to work, and at the top of the stairs I see some leather straps bolted into the wall. Right away I knew it was all downhill from there.

I get to the top of the stairs and the club is filled with about 30-40 mattresses and basket upon basket of condoms. Me: "Well, THIS should be interesting." Talk about famous last words.

So, the manager of the club shows up in all of her glory in head to toe, custom latex outfit. I touch tap her on the shoulder and she nearly decks me and says "You never touch the fucking latex, EVER again." ooookayyy.

Next I found out what the straps on the wall are for. This girl shows up, strips naked, puts in a ball gag, and then is strapped TO THE WALL like an ornament. She was by coatcheck, and so as you waited in line to check your coat, people would whip her with a whip. She was strapped to that wall for 10 hours straight.

So, around 4 AM I go for a smoke break, when I walked back in the stench of sex, sweat, and fluids and steamy everything hit me like a wall. I almost hurled. I literally had zero libido for a month after that night.

There was a girl that kept getting in the bathroom line all night and asking the people behind her to slap her ass, "HARDER!!!" and then "You little bitch HARDER." She was practically getting knocked over by how hard people were slapping her ass. It was purple by the end of the night.

To the right of the bar was this glassed in room. I saw one guy screw/get screwed with no less than 20 women & men, sometimes a few at a time. I don't know what the hell he was on, but dude lasted 10 hours.

Also, 90% of the people at this orgy were NOT people you wanted to see naked. I had women literally begging me at my knees to let them blow me while I bartended or fuck them in the ass while I bartended. One girl was absolutely Angelina Jolie stunning, and the thought crossed my mind, but then the whole STD thing...

Of which she likely had several. I was also offered every drug under the sun in lieu of tips that night. If you look up bacchanalia in the dictionary, there should be a picture of that night. Me asking people not to fuck or do rails of coke on my bar.

Finally at around 8 AM we had to kick everyone out. People were still fucking while in line to the coat check. One girl was getting DPd literally in line for coat check. I need eye bleach for that night. *shivers*

Username: sfgeek

This isn't the strangest thing I've been a part of, but the strangest one is too personal. So here's number two:My entire night spent in Venice while on vacation when I was 20.

My dad, his girlfriend and I were on vacation in northern Italy/Switzerland and we were in Venice for two days/one night. After about a week cooped up with them, I needed to escape. Earlier in the night we saw a Vivaldi quartet perform at some converted church, and there were these American girls sitting in front of us. I had made eye contact with one of them a few times during the show. Everyone goes their separate ways.

Fast forward to me trying to escape my dad and his girlfriend a few hours later. I leave the hotel and go to some random bar and who else walks in but the same five girls. I immediately approach them and strike a conversation up with the one I connected with before.

They were exchange students from Florida or something... who cares - they spoke English and were damn cute. We drink and BS for a bit while one of the girls starts chatting it up with a local Italian dude. He's pretty cool and we all join into one large conversation together.

He tells us that after the soccer game is over (it was in the middle of the Euro 2004 cup or whatever), he is going to meet his friends at a club and we should all go. I immediately think this is sketchy as fuck, but the girls want to go, and my little brain has had enough shitty beer (I'm quite drunk)
to take the reigns of my judgement, so I go.

He leads us to some deserted canal where we enter a door with no sign. We go *DOWN* stairs. If you know Venice, down means water. We literally enter a crypt... that houses some night club. There are skeletons. On the walls.

Seriously, this place had the whole freaky vampire/blood orgy vibe going on. Red drinks, skeletons, techno-whatever club music, people dressed as Gothic whatevers. I literally felt like I was in the movie Blade or Underworld or something. Fuck it.

We all continue to get quite wasted. The Italian guy is making out with the girl he talked to. I am grinding around dancing with the girl I met. Pretty much don't remember much after that for a few hours.

I must have stopped drinking at some point because around 3:30am I come out of the blackout. Still at this creepy-as-fuck club. Everyone's still accounted for. Not bad. The Italian guy says they are closing soon and he will walk us to our hotels.

The girls are all staying at this place close by. We arrive, we make out with our respective girls again one last time and they leave. He and I then walk ACROSS THE FUCKING CITY to my hotel.

It's like 6am and when we get to my hotel I just said to him, "You know, I'm really surprised at you walking everyone home." He replied, "Yea, there's a lot of bad people in this city, I just wanted to make sure you guys were OK." and he literally just walked off without saying goodbye or anything else at all.

Username: LogicWavelength

So I was a freshman college student fresh out of the sticks, real country mouse in the big city type deal. My best friend was m>f transgender, and I wanted to meet other gay chicks so I went with her to this LGBT type support group thing. It was alright, not really my cup of tea, but my friend really wanted to participate in this drag show so I went to support her and meet cute ladies.

The drag show was hosted inside of a church in an obscure part of the city. The cold wind hurled itself down the wind tunnel of the street created by the tall, cold adjacent buildings. We make it inside and she splits off to get ready for the show. I head up to the second floor for viewing purposes.

With much fanfare in the midst of low budget decorations, the show begins--and it's pretty neat. A lot of people of color, lot's of great dancing and outfits, a lot of really attractive people, about 200 participants total. Then they announce that this was just a preliminary round to showcase all of the people that wanted to be in the show, and that the "real" contestants were just getting warmed up.

The judges seated themselves on a stage over looking the cat walk and they're all characters ripped out of Ru-Paul--hair that made you question physics, clothing that whored your eye's attention, and never ending nails, painted intricately and matching their outfits.

The talent filed out, one by one, onto the catwalk, one female in particular wearing clothing of questionable substance--her DD breasts were hardly covered by a mesh dress clinging to her body by one thin strap over her left shoulder. Her eyes were glazed with makeup, and smooth like an Easter egg's shell, and her lips shone like a lacquered toilet.

Her hair was slicked back and then precariously situated to stay in place as she moved. She had heels that pushed her 5 more inches in the air, adding to her already 6 foot frame. She walked with a grace that I thought would break space time itself. And then she started to dance.

Before that day, I'd never seen live, soft core pornography in a church. Nor had I ever seen a body move in such a way as to be inspired by the spasms of an epileptic go-go dancer. She configured her body to music that beat in sync with the heart beats of two copulating rabbits, and with each movement, her dress clung for dear life as two bouncing boobies raged against their oppressive, mesh enclosure.

The judges presided over this performance like alien anthropologists being worshiped by the lesser inhabitants they were sent to study. They scrutinized this woman's offering with unrelenting expressions of pure criticism.

Her body twisted into what I now identify as the finale of performance--a spin, a pirouette, a death spiral, there are words that cannot fit the joyous freedom that was experienced by the woman's breasts as they freed themselves of the dress's modesty and spun around the woman, straight out before her chest like orbiting moons.

Only then did the alien overlords shift position. I saw a sideways glance, a lifted eyebrow, a note scribbled--she spun and her boobs spun for immeasurable amount of time. I realized halfway through that I wasn't breathing. There was a crack and her breasts broke the speed of sound, though it was muffled by the crowd's collectivity and the music's drone.

At the sound of what may have been the deployment of air brakes, she slowed her death spiral and stood tall, at full height, walking with her shoulders back, confidently, stepping to the beat of the music, breasts proudly resting above the defeated mesh dress, which had wilted down her waist.

I turned to see the rest of the church frozen in a mixture of awe and masked awe. The performance ended, and the husky, 60-year-old woman, white hair curling about her clip-on earrings, sat beside me. She turned, stuck out her hand and said, "Hi I'm Linda ___, founder of this group." And that, my friends, was the first of many of the most bizarre nights of my life.

Username: [deleted]

I woke to the sound of drumming. The chill of nighttime desert crept through the walls of the tent and my first impulse was to dig deeper into my sleeping bag. But through the fog of my sleep I cringed against the uncertainty of that noise. Consciousness battled comfort and won with the question constant in my mind - what about those drums?

I conjured images of lion loincloths and flaming torches. As the drumming grew nearer, I started to feel exposed. Tent walls robbed me of my vision, but would offer no protection, so I crept out of my tent and covered my nakedness with a pair of cut off denim shorts.

I hopped from one foot to the other and hugged myself against the cold as the line of them came into view, the organized surreal heading right for my tent. Curiosity overcame fear, and they marched past me without a glance towards the odd half-naked white man bouncing along the banks of the Umgeni.

They beat their drums and stamped their feet and chanted low into the dark of the early, early dawn. The column passed in suits and dresses, black skin against a pure white fabric somehow cleaned and starched in the muddy waters that served for washing, bathing, urination, and drinking. Water so dangerous I would not touch it for fear parasites would crawl through my pores and lay eggs in my digestive tract.

They gathered into a swaying mass on a large rock on the bank. The drums beating, the feet stamping, flashlights against the dark unknown. Two waded into the current waist deep. And one man, the leader of the group, separated himself.

He wore all white. White shoes, white pants, white shirt, vest, and jacket. White socks, white tie, and white teeth that shone the same shade as his suit. Luminous. He climbed onto a tall boulder and stood in silent waiting.

The tempo increased along with the frenzy on the bank as the group pushed one of it's own towards the small precipice - a collective gasp as they cast him into the cold water. The two who had waded out grabbed the victim, but instead of offering aid, they held him under water and shook him.

He screamed as he came up for air, and the drums got louder until he ceased resistance and his body flowed neutral in the current. The two men dragged his limp form to the bank, and the crowd bustled, stamping their feet and chanting along with the drum.

Two women on the bank slapped cheeks until the near-drowned man stood on his own. He walked to the tall boulder and began to climb towards the man in white. Meanwhile the crowd, having moved past the original excitement, drove their tempo forward and prepared to expel the next victim to the waters.

The weary man climbed the rock and knelt at the feet of the man in white, who laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder for an extended moment. Then, in an explosion of power, the man in white brought his other hand down on the head of the weary victim. The victim shouted out in surprise, and made ghostly noises as the beating continued for a few minutes.

Afterwards, he slinked away and down off the rock. The drums beat and the feet stamped and the people chanted as the man in white stood alone once again. Another body surrendered to the water as the weary man stripped naked in the gleam of sunlight that began to show itself. He donned a fresh suit with the slowness required when trying to put dry clothes onto a wet body.

Sharply dressed, he rejoined the group. I hopped from foot to foot at about 30 feet distance until the sun began to warm my blood. The dance continued endlessly until most of the people had been cast into the river and drowned. Each was revived. Each climbed the rock. Each made ghostly sounds under the heavy hand of the man in white.

Daylight eclipsed the cold but not the foreign strangeness of my situation. The drumming stopped, and the Zulus marched past me in single file again. They retraced their steps, but they met my eyes in the morning light. They meant me no harm and spoke to me softly. "Sowubona. Unjani?"

Username: iamkuato

In High School on 4-20 one year a crazy dude who was about 30 took one to many mushrooms, acid, or something really hardcore. He ran around the school with a spiral note book above his head saying that he was Jesus, and that everyone needed Jesus. This went on for about 45 minutes before anyone in administration was informed, and he would just walk in a room, then walk out. Every room that was unlocked he would enter.

He just so happened to walk into the class room I was in when the bell released us for lunch, and since we had open campus lunch I decided to follow him. One of my best friends saw me and followed me because hey, its not every day you get to see someone tripping balls like this. We follow him outside, and finally the administration sees him and calls the cops.

We had on campus cops and security, but most of them were double dipping retired cops so they were pretty out of shape. They would get close and the guy would just run off. My buddy and I were in great shape so we wouldn't get to close but just close enough to tell the cops where he was. He finally went out into the parking lot, and I got in my car to get closer and tail him.

About 20 minutes into the outside chase he heads out into the neighborhoods which is really ghetto, and the real cops finally show up. Tasers were brand new on the police force in my town and one of the cops pulls out his taser and shoots the guy in the back.

I don't know if it was because he was so high, or if the taser didn't work, but he jolted for a second then ripped the leads out of his body. So another cop tasers him again, and the same thing happens.

Now its whoop ass time and one of the cops pulls his baton out, throws it at him, and it knocked him on the ground. They cuffed him and put him in a car, but he kicked out all the windows so they had to call in the 1950 style paddy wagon to hold him in.

Ok crazy guy taken down end of story right? WRONG! One of the fat over weight school cops who was known only for giving stupid parking tickets pulls up into a house driveway across the street from my truck.

He looks at us and yells at us to go on, gets one foot out of his truck, slumps, grabs the shifter and puts the truck in reverse then falls completely in the seat!

His truck is coming straight at my truck and my buddy hops out of my truck jumps in his and stops it, pulls the fat guy out of the seat, and immediately starts CPR on the dude. The cops see my friend doing this and they call in officer down.

So now we have every emergency vehicle in our area on this one block, blocking us in, news vehicles coming down wanting interviews from us because we saw everything, but we couldn't because we were only 17. Then the Fat guy was taken to the hospital where he eventually died, and they used that to make harder charges against the crazy guy.

That was one of the craziest moments of my high school career and life. We ended up being late back from lunch, both got tardy slips, so we said screw it and went and skipped the rest of the day and did high school boy stuff.

Apparently the administration didn't really care if we were helping or not, but we wouldn't of been able to focus for the rest of the day at all so it is what it is. Almost 10 years ago this happened.

Username: ihadagoodusername

I went to a Quixtar (now back to their original name, Amway) "function." It was held in a big arena. My friend had gotten me into the whole multilevel marketing scheme when a few months before this. I was young and naive. He said it would be a quick way to earn some money. "Ditch your job someday because you'll own your own business."

At 18 year's old this sounded like a dream come true. Not only did I have to try to recruit others to "start their own business," I had to buy every thing I owned from my own online store. This is how it gets you. "Invest" in your company because the guy above you gets credit and the guy 5 levels ahead of him might see some profit from it.

Anyway...to what they called a function. It was a gathering of thousands of IBO's (Independent Business Owners) - I had been to smaller gatherings in the past to recruit new members around my area but never went to anything this big. This event made me run screaming from this "business."

It started with my friend telling me that we had to wait outside of the arena all night so that we could get a good seat. I rented a hotel room with him. I brought my girlfriend along with me but was told we weren't allowed to sleep in the same room. Nothing seemed right or normal. I just trusted my friend but by this time I was already on the way out.

The tickets to the function were 100 bucks a piece. We were all shamed into thinking that if we missed it then our business would suffer and so would our relationship with everyone else in Quixtar. The first day started with all of us rushing in to get a good seat. At this point, I really didn't care and was pretty weirded out.

The function lasted for 2 days and it was filled with different people who were successful in the business (called diamonds or emeralds or some other kind of jewel) telling us how rich they were and how we could be too if we stuck to the plan.

100 bucks to hear for 2 days what the local leaders had already told us. We were then informed that there was a special 3rd day that if we really wanted to bump up our business, we needed to attend the third day as it was the most important of all. It was essentially a big excuse for having church.

Equipped with hands In the air, closed eyes and singing. I am not a religious person. It creeps me out a bit. I have no problem with others practicing their religion but the fact that I was tricked into coming made me so angry. They told us that if we wanted to "get our business and our lives right, we needed to accept Jesus Christ." We were instructed to come to the stage to be saved.

When this happened, every one I knew there turned to me expecting me to walk up there. I grabbed my girlfriend's hand and left. I have never driven so fast. I haven't spoken to my friend since and I still hear that he is apart of the group. They encourage you to keep a job you hate so that you can keep buying products and tickets to functions.

It's been 10 years and he is still working his dead end job because he thinks he'll live the dream some day because he sells energy drinks and soap from his website. I'm glad I'm not apart of it any more. I hope this changes some minds.

Username: chadork

I lived in a small quiet town in rural canada for majority of my childhood and adolescence. One day my two friends and I were driving around, bored with nothing to do, as usual. We made a turn onto an empty residential street and continued driving. A few seconds later we see a large, tan suv rip around the corner onto the street we were on about a quarter of a block infront of us.

As the suv swung around the icy corner I could see there was someone hanging onto the back driverside door's window, feet on the ground, sliding and running along side the vehicle. At first sight this really wasn't all that weird for where I lived. Small towns get boring and it wasn't strange to see dumb teenagers stunting or doing trick or other stupid shit with their vehicles, so at first I laughed.

"Look at that kid hanging onto the car infront of us." I said to my two friends who hadn't been paying much attention. It was pretty much as soon as I said that when I realized it wasn't a kid or a teenager holding onto the vehicle, it was a grown man. By this time we were only a few yards behind the suv , going about thirty five km/h, and we could see the man was obviously struggling and this wasn't a joke.

The suv would slow down and then jerk ahead, as if trying to shake the man free of the vehicle and make him lose his footing. Well after a few tugs it worked, and the man began to slip and stumble. He lost his footing and fell directly underneath the suv, the back wheel running over his upper abdomen.

The suv slammed on its brakes and so did we. The man was laying right behind the suv, motionless, but yelling in pain. Then for the first time we see the driver, as they look out the window of their suv, we could see it was a well dressed middle aged woman.

She opened her door and started screaming at the man like a crazy woman, and At first I thought she was going to get out and hit him or something , but instead she whipped it in reverse and ran over the dude again!

Then back in drive and drove over the poor guy again before speeding off. We were all in complete shock, stuff like that doesn't happen where we live.

I tried to get the license plate number, but have it being winter, snow was covering most of the plate. We all ran out to see if the guy was okay and it was pretty appearant he was badly hurt.

His legs were bent in odd directions and he was spitting blood. I called 911 and waited with the man until the authorites and ambulance came and gave them my story. Thank god the guy was okay and from what I heard he ended up making a full recovery. Still one of the scariest things I've seen.

Username: kweenkronic

There were a few at this hippie camp I went to when I was 16. They had a trance dance each year, where, in short, everyone's blindfolded and you dance to trippy electronic music in this big field together. It was lead by a new-age spiritual type lady (no idea what her faith was) and there was a lot of preparation involving drawing tarot cards, candles, incantations, the works.

Anyway, we were all blindfolded and turned loose in the field and the music started and we started to dance, and the craziest hivemind shit started going down...

At first it was that one person started screaming and within *seconds* everyone was screaming at the top of their lungs, in waves that faded in and out. Later it was animal calls - spontaneous wolf howls like we were one big pack, or birdcalls.

It was totally anonymous and I would brush by people who would hold my hand for just a moment, and it was this ridiculously heightened sensation because of the sensory deprivation, so it was like two seconds of complete and total connection to whoever grabbed my hand.

Towards the end of the dance I just dropped on the field and ended up having this whole vision where my deceased great-grandfather stood over me and... showed me the universe, for lack of a better word.

It was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. I was stone-cold sober at the time, have done psychedelics since and it was a comparable experience. It was just a fucking crazy energy.

Second thing would be that I did a sweat lodge with about fifty-ish other teenaged chicks. We spent about four hours sweating in complete darkness in this cave made of blankets thrown over a frame. And when I say complete darkness I mean I started seeing hypnogogia with my eyes open cause it was so dark.

When you do a sweat lodge, the sweat is... unlike anything else. Parts of your body sweat that you didnt' know COULD sweat, and it literally drips off you - it feels like being covered in insects or something. After the first 15 minutes you're putting out so much sweat that it's just water and it doesn't even smell, it's totally clean. My hair was fucking soaked.

Anyway, we chanted together and stuff, and after the fourth round we all sang Amazing Grace before we got out, and I just had this intense feeling of connectedness with them; we had all made it through this crazy experience together (others dropped out over time) and again, it was like we were one voice, one organism.

Neither of these are particularly uncommon or bizarre experiences but I've found it impossible to adequately explain them, so I'd say they're pretty strange.

Username: unique-eggbeater

Halloween night with a bunch of friends, the group got split up when two friends decided to go to a party in south Atlanta. As the night wore on the majority of the group started to wonder where Josh and Casey were.

Well we get a phone call at 2 in the morning, they're stranded at a MARTA (subway) station, in the ghetto, dressed as James Bond and "light man" (Casey just taped a bunch of glow sticks to himself). So I agree to go pick them up as no one else was anywhere near sober at this point in the night and no one else seemed concerned in the slightest for their safety.

So I'm driving through the ghetto looking for this subway station I'd never been to, much less heard of trying to use a blackberry to navigate, but at one point I just got frustrated and decided to pull into a liquor store parking lot to check directions.

As soon as I park my car a group of 4-5 homeless people emerge from behind a truck and start to converge on my car. I immediately nope'd the fuck out of there, and continued on my journey to rescue Josh and Casey.

After maybe 10-15 minutes more of driving I finally found Oakland Marta station and as soon as I pull up I see James Bod and light man sprinting to my car. They both lunged in the back seat shouting "We're saved! We're saved!!" for a good 15 seconds, and in my mind I'm thinking, "yeah right, nothing was going to happen to you".... Until I reached the four way intersection about 100 yards from the MARTA station.

As soon as I started approaching the stop sign two cars full of people, one immediately in front of me and one to my right, flew up to the intersection and all the passengers immediately jumped out of the cars and started yelling and flashing what I presume to be gang signs. I'm talking 8 gang bangers, appearing seemingly out of nowhere, hostile and ready to jack my car and/or beat/kill us.

So, like the homeless situation before I immediately nope the fuck out of there, by hooking a left at the intersection, only to see it. Two dogs fucking in the middle of the street. We fucking lost it in the car! The situation went from ecstatic to fearing for our lives to hysterical laughter in the span of 45 seconds.

Username: Hail-Santa

When I was 10, my dad worked at a summer camp, so I pretty much went to camp all summer fo free, usually sticking with one cabin group for an entire session. It was great. Campers slept in cabins, but once a session they'd take you out to the soccer field to sleep under the stars.

Each cabin had about 40 campers between age 7-14. We had laid out our sleeping bags, and were chatting before we turned in, and one girl from my cabin wanted to do levitation/light as a feather (if you didn't have a ton of sleepovers, this is where one person lies down on their back and everyone else puts their first two fingers on both hands under them, chanting "light as a feather, stiff as a board") and is supposed to lift the person a few inches off the ground.

I was sleepy and kind of burned out from being around people all day so I just kind of watched with another girl. They do it to the first girl, and she lies down with her eyes closed for about a minute when she gasps and sits up and says she just had a vision of a dark, shadowy hand that grabbed her heart, right as her heart jumped. Everyone's a little creeped out, and the girl's kinda shook up.

Another girl wants a turn, so she lies down and they start chanting again. She makes it about ten seconds before she sits bolt upright and shrieks. Not to be outdone, SHE announces she drifted off and saw a murderer come at her and stab her with a knife!

She bursts into panicked tears and is freaking the fuck out, and somehow within a minute every single girl in the circle is fear-weeping too. (Meanwhile, the other non-participating girl and I look at each other like "...what is this bullshit unfolding before our eyes?!". We're mostly just trying to go the fuck to sleep.)

The girls have reached the point of inconsolable, and the counselors don't have a clue what to do with them and couldn't figure out how to contain the hysteria...and before long, EVERY LAST CAMPER ON THE FIELD IS WEEPING UNCONTROLLABLY.

Forty girls hyperventilating at 10pm on the goddamned soccer field. (I'm watching all this happening, and wondering what gene I'm missing that lets me opt out of pointless mass panic, because clearly everyone else got it.)

They call the nurse over, and he brings paper bags and breathing masks and has the counselors shepherd their campers back to the cabin. Eventually the counselors manage to calm everyone down and get them to sleep, but after that night I didn't spend any more time with that cabin. I didn't want to hang out with the sudden mass hysteria crowd, you know?

Username: yoonikorn

Didn't happen to me, happened to my dad. He was working on a job (plumbing) in a rough neighborhood across from a middle school. It is about 9:00 in the morning on a Saturday. He looks up and notices something odd, 3 kids walking along the breezeway as if completely normal on a Saturday.

About 15 minutes later a police car pulls up and 2 cops get out, one of average size the other a behemoth of a man as was described to me. Sir Behemoth sneaks up to the edge of the building and as the kids walk past grabs one in one hand, slams him against the wall whilst grabbing the other kid with his other hand and pinning him against the wall. Screams of terror were heard. Kids are loaded into police car and off they go.

Later in the day, a police car drives by asking if my father and the other 2 guys working the job have seen a suspect. They describe said suspect to them as a black male in tattered jeans, plaid button-up shirt and a beanie. They tell him no but we will keep en eye out for him.

About a half-our later some guy walks right through their work site (customer's front yard), ducking caution tape and all. He then proceeds down the street and ducks behind the bush. Once he passes though, one of the other guys goes, "Uhhm, isn't that the guy from earlier?" Sure enough he was close enough to the description that they called it in.

Police come and find him and take him away. My father receives a thank you call for calling in the tip and is told what the guy did. The suspect was caught stealing from a church after breaking some church property and is put in the back of the police car.

While waiting in the back of the car, the police go into the church to talk to the pastor. The suspect then kicks out one of the windows in the back and escapes, leading to the tip in from my dad.

Getting closer to finishing up the day, an old lady is walking down the sidewalk past where they are cleaning up. She nods a hello to them, then keeps walking. One of the guys helping my dad looks her way and says, "Holy Shit! Look at the knife!"

The old lady had a kitchen knife in her hand, hidden behind her arm, with a blade that goes well past her elbow. She keeps walking when a car swerves around the corner, honks at her 2-3 times.

Not having any of this, the old walks to the car and stabs the hood as many times as she could before the driver decides to back up before his ride is further damaged. As the driver pulls away, the old lady yells, "LITTLE BITCH". Pretty strange day.

Username: TigerAnon

This happened to my wife. Some years back she was living in a small village in Samoa for a year or two. There was a girl in the village that got sick but the doctors couldn't find anything wrong with her. She got sicker and sicker but still there wasn't anything the doctors could pin down, so they sent her home to die with her folks.

The girl arrived back in the village and a local medicine woman saw her and said she was possessed, and what she really needed was an exorcism. It was a public affair and, although my wife didn't believe in possession or anything like that, she went along to see what it was all about.

She said the medicine woman put the girl to sleep on the floor, like a hypnotic trance or something. Then the medicine woman started talking to the spirit that possessed the girl.

That was the freaky bit: The girl in the trance started talking back in a man's voice. The locals apparently recognized the voice as a guy who had died a while back. Following Samoan custom he was buried in a tomb in front of his house.

They got into some sort of negotiation, the medicine woman and the spirit. The medicine woman wanted the spirit to leave, the spirit said no, round it went.

Then the medicine woman told the spirit if it didn't leave she'd boil up a pot of water, break open his tomb and scald his bones. Apparently that was a terrible thing to do so the spirit gave up and said he'd leave.

Then the second freaky thing happened: When the spirit voice said he was leaving all the dogs that had been lying around in the sun nearby suddenly jumped up and started barking like crazy. Then the whole pack of them (there were a dozen or so) took off after something, still barking fit to bust.

My wife couldn't see anything at all but those dogs were following something. Whatever it was, they chased it to the tomb out in front of the house then, when they got there, they quietened down and just wandered off and lay down again.

The girl who'd apparently been at death's door woke up, seemingly better but very weak. Over the space of the next couple of days she regained her strength and completely recovered. My wife still doesn't really believe in ghosts but she has no explanation for what happened that day.

Username: [deleted]

Long one but wild: I was 13-14-15 years old, home alone in my parent's house on the coldest Winter night in Minnesota. Cold enough that you will die if you don't immediately seek a powered building for warmth. I grew up on a farm several miles from any town. Phone rings and it is the police department.

They say that there has been a high speed chase that ended in a crash ~300 yards from my house and that the footprints of the unidentified driver in the snow were making a straight line towards my house. I look out my front window and see dozens of police vehicles off in the distance. They instruct me to lock all of the doors and that an officer will be there shortly.

Once the officer arrives and my father gets home, the cop has us get our deer hunting shotguns loaded and we proceed to check the heated hog buildings that litter the acreage. So, the cop and my father go one way (100 yards East) and send **just 13/14/15 year old me** 100 yards the other direction to check a different heated hog building.

So here I am, flipping on lights one by one **with a loaded 12 gauge shotgun with the safety off** like some Bruce Willis movie, moving from room to room, searching for some unknown person OR PERSONS. The adrenaline coursing through me was unreal...quickly peeking behind corners for some strange criminal who might try to kill me.

Turns out the guy had used his tracks to throw off the cops and that he had made his way to a different house in which the owners were gone for the night, kicked in the door, and called a friend to pick him up.

*Even weirder* I found out that this was the mayor of the next (tiny) town and he fled a cop because he'd been drinking and he was the local mail delivery driver, too. He stole the phone bill of the owners of the house he'd kicked the front door in of and opened it, edited out his phone call to his buddy, copied it, and placed the fixed copy in their mailbox.

So he went from a *potential* DUI to evading arrest, mail fraud, breaking and entering, and a slew of other charges...not to mention giving young me a hell of a story.

Username: sleepsoncouches

Landed a Convair c-131 in a forest service air strip. When we scouted the field there was no one around. When we landed it was the first day of hunting season. There was a hunting camp right just down the road.. The hunters were all back at the camp as it was late in the day.

Our pickup crew had abandoned us because of the hunters. We had 3,000 lbs of pot from Jamaica. The three of us had on green jump suits we had bought at Walmart. The pot was in burlap bags, We threw them in a trench along the run way. The pilot took off and left us on the strip.

There was a office trailer at the end of the runway. I broke in by pulling folding the aluminum door like a sardine can. The phone was working. We called the pick up crew. The next day was Sunday - no hunting on Sunday - so we arranged for them to come in for the pick up.

The hunters began leaving. First one sped by with out stopping. We later decided that he must have had an illegally shot doe in his truck. The rest drove right by our trailer. Each one stopped and let us examine their vehicle for illegal game. We waved them on.

The next morning only one of our pick-up crew showed. We loaded his truck. Rode into town with him. Rented at U-haul. Drove back out. Loaded the u-haul. Took it to the stash house.

No one was caught or charged. The plane was abandoned at Charlotte airport. We cut the rest of the pick up crew out of the deal but ended up giving them a small share.

The landing for pick up in Jamaica was also exciting. We landed on an abandoned runway that was used as race track. There was a race going on. We circled, the cars pulled off. The plane was swarmed. People wanted to jump in and leave with us. We had a couple the supplier's guys directing operations with 9mm's.

It was quite an adventure. We stopped with the big airplanes though. We used small Cessna's with over clocked engines that carried about 400 lbs of sinsee at a whack. Once a policeman shot himself in the foot during a stand off between competing cops at a cane field air strip.

He just let his finger get a bit too tense. They weren't there to arrest us. One group wanted their share of the payoff. After the shooting they let us continue on.

Username: ElvisInAFuzzyTree

I was on the LES roaming around when I ran into these communist kids and started talking to them. This was about 9 years ago. They convinced me to go to their meeting, I had nothing better to do and I'm always curious about, everything. So I agreed.

On the bus the 3 people I was with took their t-shirts off (they had another one underneath) since it identified their group and in case they were being followed we went somewhere in Chinatown. There was an alley, a back entrance and the meeting was in a tiny room on the 2nd floor. The place was kinda shady, but the people were nice.

There was this guy they called the physicist who talked very passionately, to me it didn't make any sense. There was two giant pictures one of Lenin and one of Mao. I didn't stay for the whole thing, but it was interesting to see. My favorite was that they thought people cared enough about them for them to be followed.

The other strangest event was when my husband's younger brother. I think he was 20 at the time wanted to try some acid. I happened to have a little vial 100+ tabs. My friend that gave it to me, I guess he kept putting in there whatever was there after hitting the festivals, so we got some out and took them. He kept whining about not feeling it after 15 mins, or just that it wasn't what he thought.

I told him well, it's been 15 mins. Chill. He decided to go take some more. I joined him, but he decided to pour all of them out into a cup and eat them with a spoon like it was ice cream or some shit. It was strange to see someone eating tabs like that but much horrifying what happened after. Pretty much a demonic possession if I have ever seen one.

I was tripping too much to deal with, so I woke up my husband for him to take care of him and make sure he would stay in the apt. I hid under the blankets and when I came back out he was still going through hell. I felt super bad for him, but he was fine after awhile. He never wants to take acid again though. We laugh about it now, but it was really scary at the time.

Username: [deleted]

I was in Italy with a tour group, and we visit a volcano, Mt. Etna. We get right up in the crater area, looking at wreckage from when it exploded in the nineties, all that.

We go down and are in the town near the base of the volcano. We're chilling in a nunnery when we notice that the walkways of the interior (basically insideout balcony that faced the courtyard, to give the nuns a place to dry laundry out of public view but still in open air) were covered in black sand.

It's then we notice the massive black cloud encroaching on the horizon. Ohcrap. And then it's raining ash on everyone. Now, since I'd never been in a volcano explosion before, I wasn't sure if it would be just ash, or if it was going to build to something else. Everyone in the town was rushing indoors, but not us.

Oh no.
We had booked an open air tour bus.
And we were going to use it.

So for the next hour or so we're driving around the town by an active volcano, ash spraying in our faces (bus going fast plus falling ash plus no windows = congrats on the black lung) and everyone's just yelling and trying to improvise face masks. Newspaper, clothes, people were scrambling to cover their faces- meanwhile, the robot tour guide on the bus is just droning on about Romans and settlements.

As you may have surmised by the lack of "volcanic explosion in Sicily kills 60 international students too dumb to flee to shelter" headlines, it was just ash. An unusual event, to be sure, but no one died.

It was weird seeing everything go back to normal. Back at the hostel, people were combing the ash off of the beach, to return everything to pristine Sicilian splendor. I went outside with a plastic bag and scooped up some of the ash.

I got about 3/4 of a cup of it. i'm not quite sure where I put it but I know I still have it. If we'd visited the volcano just three hours later we would have been right on top of an erupting volcano.

Username: normalcypolice

I was 18 and at a party with a large group of my friends. We were the preppy girls in high school. We were the ones who went tanning, got our nails done, and basically had to look perfect any time we were going to be seen. We were the prim and proper ones who never acted inappropriately. I tell you this because it helps you understand why what happened at this party was strange.

We were all very, very drunk since the party was at my friends' house and none of us were planning on driving that night. We were all in the yard, talking and laughing and having a great time when a guy everyone called Hamburger walked up to my friend Terika, who was a few years older than me and married to another friend of ours who was also at the party, and reach up her skirt while telling her he was going to make her scream.

This led to the strange part. All of us girls, with our mob mentality, decided this injustice wouldn't stand. We attacked this guy. We broke beer bottles over his head, we put cigarettes out on his face, and we slammed his head into a tree.

We went nuts. Once we'd gotten him to the ground, we took to his car and popped the hood. We pulled whatever we could pull. It's not something I'm proud of, and looking back I wish we would have handled the situation like normal human beings, but alcohol and a hive mentality go a long way in the crazy department.

The most surreal part of the situation came the next morning, when everyone sobered up and we were able to fully grasp what we'd done. Terika's husband was a musician, one who was in a group that was starting to become popular nationwide.

He freaked out, telling us that it would be really bad press if Hamburger decided to talk about what happened. Her husband made us fix whatever we could to lessen the damage.

The car was an easy fix with the help of Terika's husband. Hamburger wasn't so easy. We fucked him up. He had burns all over his face from the cigarette butts, he had cuts from the bottles. Luckily, he didn't remember exactly what happened.

We played dumb and told him that he hit on some guy's girlfriend and the guy beat his ass. We cleaned him up and sent him on his way. No one ever found out about the situation, and Terika's husband went on to have a fairly decent career in a crappy rock band.

Username: Pillowfiend

A friend and I had biked downtown, had a beer and biked back around midnight. I load my bike in the back of my truck, he loads his in his car and we both leave to drive home. So were out pretty late on a weekday, not many people around.

I'm about to merge on the highway and see a strange smoke or mist hanging underneath the highway underpass that I am driving past. Since it's late and nobody is around I slow down and stop on the entrance ramp to take a picture.

The air smells strange and suddenly I notice a smashed to shit pickup truck in the middle of the round about next to the highway/bridge. I back down the entrance ramp and drive over the curb and down across the grass separating me from the round about and park in the middle of the round about next to the smashed truck.

There are two men inside. The front wheels are missing from the truck. They had flown off the bridge above and slammed into a 1ft around highway street light while still ~10 feet off the ground & ripped the front of the truck off, then the truck spun 180 degrees and landed where it now sat.

I have no idea what to do, a car is coming around the round about. I stop them and yell at them to call 911, I call my friend and he turns around and heads to my location.

The strangest part about the whole situation was the way the man I stopped and told to call 911 reacted. He seemed annoyed. Granted he had a girl in the passenger seat and me making them see two dieing people probably ruined the mood.

We end up being instructed by the dispatcher two move one man out of the truck. He had a baseball sized knot on his head and... Stuff... Coming out his ears. When we did CPR his chest moved like a water bed and you could tell it was like gravel in there.

Super fucked up horrible night. One guy survived the other died. There was beer cans every where in their truck.

Username: iAmInterweb

Driving home from a softball game with my girlfriend (now wife) at night, so the roads are relatively empty. While driving, we notice the car behind us is seemingly following us. We make a joke about it, but watch as this car continues to follow us and begin to grow more and more suspicious.

I tell her to change lanes and the car behind us does too. I tell her to change lanes again, and to pull into this Wal-Mart we were by. She does and so does the car behind us. Because she got in the turn lane at the last second, the following car cuts someone else off to get in the turning lane to follow us. By this time, I'm losing my shit.

This car is OBVIOUSLY following us. We pull into the Wal-Mart and park, and my girlfriend takes off inside because she is freaked out, but I hang back. I watch the car following us pull into the Wal-Mart and start slowly driving up and down the isles of cars (looking for ours, I think).

At this point, I'm losing my mind, freaking out. I'm an Army Infantry veteran with combat experience in Iraq, but who the fuck gets followed like in a movie?! I approach the car and it's a woman driver, so I ask her (actually, more of a panicked yell)

Me: "Hey, are you looking for our car? Why are you following us?"
Her: "I'm not following you"
Me: "I KNOW you're following us, we watched you follow us for the last 10 minutes and then cut someone off to follow us in here and now you're driving around looking for our car!"

Her: "I just wanted to see your license plate."
Me: "What?! What the fuck kind of answer is that?!"
Her: "I'm sorry."

[and then she drives off]
Still to this day, I have no idea what that was all about... nothing special about my wife's license plate...

Username: EbonyFalcon

My friend's girlfriend was raped at a house party back in college (about 2003). We have a security camera in the hall of that house outside of the door....so we saw the guys face pretty clearly on video. He had a very distinctive tattoo on his neck that said "Playa" in graffiti script and rather large ear plugs that looked to be made of wood.

Flash forward about 3 weeks. I'm a club bouncer at the time. I walk into the bathroom to take a piss, and I see *this very guy* at the urinal next to me. He finishes, goes to wash his hands, and I ask to see his ID (his hand was unstamped). He gives me his ID.

So I get his name.....I call my friend who we'll just call "Steve", whose gf it was that this asshole raped....Steve comes to the club. He stalks this guy all night long....and when he goes to piss, Steve stabs him in the neck, gouges out his eyes, and embeds a pen in his chest, killing his ass.

Steve said he confronted the guy angrily, and said that the guy copped to the rape and his girlfriend was "asking for it", quote unquote. And then said that "If Steve was taking care of business with his bitch, maybe she wouldn't have sought out *his* dick." (It was subsequently proven she was drugged...)

I can't say that if I was in Steve's shoes, I wouldn't have also shanked his ass to death too. So my good friend in college killed a dude that raped his girlfriend by going all Joe Pesci, stabbing him to death 40-odd times with a ball point pen. He was sentenced to four years for Man-1, got out in under two for good behavior. Married the girl. All's well now.

I will always remember how eerily calm he was after as blood was dripping off his face after he killed the guy. He walked out front of the club and lit up a smoke, and just waited for the cops.....

Username: OnlyMySofaPullsOut

A few years ago, I had signed a lease for a new apartment but the first month of the new place overlapped with the last month of my old one, so I had two apartments, the new one being a on the 5th story of an apartment building. One of my room mates hated his old ones so he moved in that month but the other two of us stayed in our old place for most of the month.

One morning early in the month I got a text from him that said something a long the lines of "dude, a cat just jumped off our balcony and committed suicide."

We didn't have a cat. Turns out, the apartment manager had hired painters to paint the wall back to its default color and they showed up that morning while my new room mate was admiring the view from our new balcony.

He went to answer the front door for the painters and when he opened it, a cat that was stranded in the hallway ran in, through the apartment, onto the balcony with its balcony door still open, and just....jumped.

I have no idea if it's true but according to Stephen Fry on Quite Interesting, the most dangerous "reasonable" place for cats to jump from is the 5th-7th story because less than that and they land relatively uninjured on their feet and more than that they reach terminal velocity and puff out their fur, almost like a parachute. If it's true, this was just an unlucky cat trying to escape, I suppose.

Turns out we had a crazy cat lady down the hall. One escaped as she was bringing out her garbage at the same time the painters were arriving at my place and over the balcony it went. Sad...but strange thing to wake up too.

Username: whatahorriblestory

I have a good story that me and my friends still laugh about to this day. It doesn’t match the prompt exactly, but the things this girl did in the moment were definitely weird.

*Here’s a little background* When I was in middle school me and my friends used to go to this youth center where we would hang out until our parents got off of work (we were all navy brats, living on a navy base). Occasionally kids would get into arguments and agree to meet at the youth center after school so they could fight (genius, right).

One day, two 8th grade girls got into some sort of squabble and decided they would commence 9 rounds of bare knuckle boxing at the youth center. But, the problem was, there are supervisors at the youth center that are there to monitor the kids to make sure we all behaved and OF COURSE somebody snitched and told the supervisors.

At the time, standard procedure for the supervisors was to call base security and have them come and wait for something to happen. Normally this would solve the problem; the kids would see the MA’s, get cold feet, and consequently wimp out.

But this time, it didn’t work. One of the girls in particular was very.. confident to say the least. We’ll call her Patricia just for the sake of the story. Patricia wasn’t going to allow base security to keep her from cracking skulls. So, when the opposing girl arrived, Patricia got right down to business and started trying to fight.

This of course, was very thrilling for us. Two girls fighting, awesome. Everybody was instructed to leave the building while security took care of the situation. Long story short, the Patricia was very resistant and ended up in hand cuffs and was brought into the outside rec area (a fenced off grass field connected to the youth center for soccer and what not) to prevent her from damaging the property inside the building.

What made this so memorable was the fact that we could all see through the chain link fence from where we were instructed to wait, and we had front row seats to the whole scene. Patricia was being instructed to calmly wait for her mother to come pick her up, but she was not being calm whatsoever (hence the handcuffs) and at one point decided that she was going to try to run.

Yes, that’s right, run. In *handcuffs* . So for a solid 10 minutes we watched the MA’s chase Patricia around in circles in this fenced off area as she desperately tried to find a way to escape. She soon realized that she didn’t have anywhere to go, so... *Here’s where the weird part comes in*:

She decided to try to CLIMB THE CHAIN LINK FENCE IN HANDCUFFS TO ESCAPE THE AREA. She was essentially throwing herself into the fence in a poor attempt to scale it.

We all stood by and laughed as she tried to squeeze her feet into the holes and climb. It was hilarious. The MA’s of course eventually restrained her and held her until her mother arrived, but damn it was funny.

Username: [deleted]

I was on the subway when the train stopped in between stations. Delays like this are pretty normal and usually a pre-recorded voice plays on the speakers saying “Ladies and gentlemen, we are delayed because of train traffic ahead of us.”

Nope. Train conductor goes on intercom sounding obviously freaked out, “There is a person in the middle of the tracks. I REPEAT. THERE IS A PERSON STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TRACKS.”

Some time passes. Everyone is getting impatient, when the conductor announces again: “ladies and gentleman we will be cutting power to the train. We are turning off electricity to the 3rd rail so that MTA workers can safely retrieve the person. Please do not panic.” And the lights in the train go out and it’s kinda dark because we’re not at a station.

A little while later the door to the subway car I’m in is opened manually and an MTA worker hops onboard and announces that they’re bringing this person from the tracks into my car. Everyone is staring in interest. I’m expecting that it’s gonna be some deranged homeless-looking person.

Nope. It’s a white woman and she’s actually quite beautiful. Late 30s probably and dressed like she was going out somewhere or to work. Tan peacoat. Blouse and miniskirt. And fucking stiletto high heels! Who marches through train tracks in fucking stilettos?! The only anomaly from an average lady you’d see in the street was that her hands are covered in soot or whatever is on the tracks and so they’re blackened.

Everyone on the car is of course staring at her, mostly out of curiosity at wtf is going on and she starts apologizing to everyone and saying she didn’t mean to cause us any inconvenience.

She takes a seat and the MTA guy sits across from her. Power returns to the train and we start moving again. He asks her, “so uh... what were you doing down there?” She replies, “oh, just looking for something I lost.”

He tells her she really shouldn’t go down there and she should’ve contacted the MTA to help her find it. She apologizes. Then he asks, “how long ago did you lose it?” She replies, straight face, very serious, somewhat nonchalantly, “about twenty-six years ago.”

We get to the nearest station. Conductor announces that everyone should leave because the train won’t be moving again until police arrive. I ended up walking the rest of the way to school and missed class and I wasn’t even mad.

Username: nonstop_nosebleed

Oh do I have the perfect person for this thread. Let’s call him James. So I’ve gone to school with James since kindergarten, I used to think he was a normal person that did some weird things every once in a while.

That was until my friend’s mom found him in the school field one Saturday sitting in the dirt and holding a survival knife. He was causing any apparent damage to himself or people, but it was definitely an odd experience. This was in 2nd grade.

In fourth grade he decided to bring his chemistry text book to class. Nothing weird about that right? Just a regular 9 year old wanting to catch up on his college reading. Now it wasn’t exactly a new textbook either, it was pretty roughed up with pages torn, notes scribbled everywhere and the back cover gone.

He probably got it from one of his parents when they went to college. He claimed that he needs to read it to learn how to make various acids, so I just backed off and let him do him. Ffw to recess that day, he starts chasing my friends screaming about he needs the plasma from out blood for his acids. So we run from him like it’s a game but we couldn’t tell if he thought it was at all.

He changed a little bit during the transition to middle school. He seemed a little more off than usual. Didn’t really have him in too many classes but from the few times I saw him during lunch or in the hallway, I’d find him doing very James like things such as eating raw potatoes and radishes, flaunting his vial of lizard blood and ants, and in science class, blowing off the teacher to visit his computer buddies on a wizarding chat room site.

Somehow the teachers didn’t mind any of this and he even got the chance to “curse” my friend John with some spell while testing it out. (Funny story, John told his mom and his parents locked him in his room for the weekend to not get cursed too).

Ffw to high school (now) where he’s slightly more normal. He doesn’t do any wizardly things anymore but he wears a full Neo from Matrix trench coat every day and often talked to our history teacher (also very weird) about his gun shooting skills and bragged about nailing his 1000 yard stare.

Username: Cheddar14

Worked in a coffee shop in a town with a large VA hospital and a large population of assisted living people. Our shop was one of the few places they could go during the winter time because many of the assisted living houses kick them out during the day except for meals. So we would have during the winter 20+ various people with ranging levels of mental illness in the shop.

99% of the time it was ok. We knew their quirks and they knew to calm down or leave if they were having a rough day. But one day a fellow somewhat new to the shop decided to wipe his poop all over the bath room.

We knew it was him because the door was wide open and he was just pooping with his pants around his ankles and wiping it on the walls. He wouldn't stop, and wouldn't leave; he just kept pooping somehow and covering the walls. Finally had to call the cops because his assisted living people wouldn't answer the phone.

We also had a customer who was at least 80+ years old. He was hunched half way over to the point of always looking at the ground, shacking and couldn't talk (had no teeth). He would eat garbage. Anything he could find in the cans outside he would eat.

Any soda containers, coffee, whatever he would drink. Didn't matter. It wasn't so much he would eat it. He would eat his fill and then walk around keeping his mouth full just chewing/gumming it until he was hungry.

Our mom at the shop would always make him empty his mouth and give him a sandwich to make sure he was getting some food. And she always nearly threw up because he would reach into his mouth and pull out something as large and solid as a baseball.

I would do it from time to time and would have him put it on a plate to throw out because I found out if you try to get him to put in a paper bag it would rip though the bag because it was so heavy (and moist). This guy lived on for over 20 years doing this every single day, all day long including MN winters until he finally passed away.

Username: spytez

I used to work for a market research company in a shopping mall. I was one of the people who interviewed respondents. Sometimes we had to recruit our own, othertimes we had help. This time, I had the help of a guy I went to high-school with.

We were doing a survey on these instant mashed potatoes in a box which had been introduced into the market. They wanted people to take these things home and cook them up and we'd give the ones who agreed to do so and respond to the survey afterwards a free box of this crap (and maybe money I don't remember. Money often was the grease that lubicated these deals but you'd be surprised how willing people are to give their opinions gratis)>

Anyway this woman was brought into my room and I began asking her the questions on the form (they were pre-screened by my school-mate so they presumably qualified and met the demographic requirements for the study.

So I'm asking here these stupid questions and out of the blue she squeezes her cheek and she says "This is my space suit." I didn't bat an eye. I said something like "that's nice" and continued with the survey questions.

Finally, we got to the end and I'm trying to get this woman to take the box of crap home and eat it, and she tells me that "they" won't let her use the kitchen. I told her that it was ok, she could have "them" cook the stuff for her and we'll still call and get her opinion. (because: fuck it. it's a minimum wage shitjob and by the time they ever call this respondent, I'll have already been paid for the survey). So I got her to take the stuff. I don't know how that ended since other people did the follow-ups.

Username: [deleted]

My friend lived in the ghetto of a small meth town, so there was no shortage of terrible going on around him.

One of the only benefits of his place (for me, I'm sure price was a benefit for him, that place had to be cheap as shit) was that he was next store to a little market. So we would get stoned, walk next door and get munchies.

One day we're walking over there, and we never made it into to the store. There was always between 1 and 5 tweakers in the tiny, maybe 8-10 car parking lot, but this time there was only one tweaker. On his knees. Crawling around the middle of the parking lot. Intently doing something.

We were mesmerised. We just stood at the edge of the parking lot, and watched him for at least 10 minutes, trying to decipher what was going on (the fact we were stoned didn't help).

He had something in his hand, so we keep trying to peek and see what it was, and what he was doing with it, because he was doing SOMETHING with it, our brains just couldn't put the pieces of the puzzle together.

After about 10 minutes of very determined scurrying on hands and knees, we see that he's got a butter knife, and he'll pick at the cement for 30 seconds, look around (without standing up) and scurry to a different spot of the parking lot.

Eventually I get the stoner courage to investigate. I walk right up to him (with plenty of room to make sure I don't get crusty butter knife stabbed) and ask the guy:

"Hey man, what are you doing?" As I ask the question, I can see that he's pulling ancient gum from the cracks of the meth Central mini Mart parking lot, one by one, with his trusty butter knife.

He doesn't get up at all, just turns his head, exorcist style, so he's making perfect eye contact and shouts (at full volume): "JUST KEEPING IT CLEAN!"

Username: thefanum

Guy bought a chocolate shake, goes to a corner booth, takes out an empty cup, poors the shake into it. Takes the shake cup to the bathroom, comes back out, sits down at his corner booth, pretends to take a sip of his shake, then starts hysterically screaming.

Evrryone in the diner was mortified by the screams alone. When the manager and owner approached, he began yelling at them that someone gave him a cup of shit, when he had ordered a chocolate shake, and that he took a sip.

At that point he grabbed the cup before anyone could even react to his statement, and threw it straight up. To which I collided with the sealing, and spewed everywhere. (To clarify, this wasn't any type of hard stool.. this was I just binged on taco bell for a week straight type of stool).

So it goes everywhere. Customers are losing their minds as they realize they've now got shit on them. And this guy is just screaming and running around the diner at this point.

Now, the strangest this that happens. The guy just stops. Freezers in place for a good solid minute. Customers are leaving the place, the manager is calling the police, as well as other customers.

So, the guy is just standing completely still. So still you can't even tell he's breathing. After a minute he just falls to the floor, like collapses. And he starts sobbing and mumbling shit along the lines of, "I gotta poopoo shake. Why does everyone always do this, why do I gotta have a poopoo shake momma, why."

So I'm like wayyyy to high for this shit, all I wanted was to come to my favorite diner, and eat a god damn burger and fries with the best chocolate shake in town.

After that though, I just couldn't work myself up to getting a shake there ever again.. it was definitely a sad, and weird day.

Username: PagingDrGeenThumb

I'll start with the funny one and then tell the gross one. I recently moved to DC and have started bike commuting between home and school. The drivers here are terrible - they pull poorly executed u turns and three point terms on a whim, constantly, and no one knows how wide their car is so if there's oncoming traffic on a narrow street both cars will just sit there with plenty of room to drive past each other and no courage to actually KEEP DRIVING - anyway -

I was biking home and stuck behind a slow-moving car who was navigating through some narrow streets past oncoming traffic. Once he got beyond all the oncoming cars and into the quieter part of the street, he hit the breaks and stopped in the middle of the street.

These drivers do this all the time for some reason so I just pass them on the left if I must. As I biked past the drivers' side, I saw that he had stopped his car in the middle of the street to take a huge bite out of a hamburger. Power to you, man.

Okay, read ahead at your own peril - On the top floor of my school library there's a lounge area with armchairs. This one girl spends all day every day in one of these chairs with a bag of junk food and a giant iced latte or bubble tea.

She sucks up whatever beverage she's drinking, SWISHES IT AROUND HER MOUTH, and then SPITS IT BACK down the straw. Over and over. She also chews her food then spits it out into an empty coffee cup.

Look, I get that this may be a sign of disordered eating and it's not like I don't feel for her but DAMN GIRL YOU'RE IN PUBLIC. All day long, she's never not swishing her drink around her mouth and spitting it back out. You can watch the level of the drink go up and down as she does it. I can't hang out there anymore.

Username: [deleted]

Ok, so, a couple years back, the day before Thanksgiving, I go to a Dead show with a friend. We both become heavily intoxicated. Somehow, around last call, we get separated, and I start looking around for him.

The venue closes, I start walking the streets of a strange town after midnight. Most places are just little dive bars or Brazilian places serving food- no sign of my friend though. Im walking along, and I find 50 bucks wrapped around a money clip on the ground outside a titty bar.

As I go up to the bouncer to inquire about my friend, some other poor soul, no shoes, and pupils like dimes, walks over to the guy like he can’t bend his legs, holding his ID at arms length in front of him. Me and the bouncer just stare, and he comes a little closer and says “This is me. Do you know me? This is me, see?” And then just walks off, barefoot in freezing weather, to some other place.

I wasn’t in much better shape, and was too worried about my missing friend to even think I’d be able to help this stranger. I hope he made it home OK.

Around dawn I sobered up enough to inquire with the local constabulary. “Oh, you mean mister big mouth? Bail is $100 bucks, and he’s all yours.”

Sure enough, said friend had left said venue just before closing, thinking I had already left, and was promptly arrested when his drunken acid-babble was mistaken for disorderly conduct- which, though harmless, it technically is. He had to spend the night locked up, drunk and tripping, irritating the cops to no end the entire time with his continued babble.

Username: Fruiticus