Frequent Flyers Are Revealing the Wildest Things They've Overheard on a Plane

Not really overheard but witnessed: We were late to check in and only got seats in the second to last row. We were flying to an African country from Paris and my wife and I both don’t speak any French. Walking from the front, all the way to the back of the plane we figured that ~95% of the people on the plane only spoke French.

So when we finally got to our seats in the back, there were 7 police men/women in the row behind us surrounding a guy wearing a Hannibal Lecter type mask and a strait jacket, yelling uncontrollably.

We asked the police if there was anything to worry about and they just said something serious in French and didn’t care to explain anything. As my wife was visibly uncomfortable, I asked a flight attendant if we could move seats, but the flight was fully booked.

Adding to this, when the plane was about to depart and 5 of the police men/women suddenly left. So we’re left with a crazy dude in a Hannibal Lecter mask and two police men, sitting in the row right behind us.

All sorts of scenarios were playing through our minds. Are they just going to release this guy into the wild once we land? Is this guy going to pull anything crazy on the flight? Is he going to remember our faces and kill us in our sleep?

Mind you this guy kept screaming and fighting the straitjacket like a maniac. As we took off the guy immediately stopped screaming. When we reached altitude someone who saw how uncomfortable we were came to us and told us that the guy was being deported for some minor crimes.

Apparently it’s very typical that these guys try anything to stay on the ground and once they’re in the air they know they’ve lost their battle. The rest of the flight was quite ok, they even removed his mask and let him eat.

They stayed on the plane even after we left, so we didn’t see him anymore after. But yeah that was the craziest fucking flight so far.

Username: sinepanigav

"Everyone on this plane doesn't even realize that their body heat is being siphoned off like a computer chip to serve the federal repositories. Hmm? Did you know that? Listen to me, they're stealing that heat and I am a microchip.

You're a microchip. We're all microchips. That isn't a fucking joke. We're all literally microchips and there's heat transfer happening, and the state is taking it for their systems. My body heat is fueling the city's plants.

Don't you understand? Don't you get it? The freedom of personal identity is having that heat, provided the government doesn't walk into your body and just take whatever they want. They're inside you right now, I can see it.

Look, look at my arms, they're in there and we'll never even know it. But if I flex my arms, like this, look, LOOK AT THIS NOW, look, if I flex my arms TAKE OUT THOSE HEADPHONES WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU IT'S VERY RUDE.

Look, if I flex my arms, they're cut off from accessing the lower lobes of my brain. See? They're trapped like rats. The whole plane doesn't even know but they're in there. And once they steal your body heat you're a microchip. You're a microchip on a motherboard that the state owns.

THIS ISN'T LIKE, A JOKE IT'S AN ACTUAL MOTHERBOARD I've seen it! I've seen it. It's up there where the other people are sitting, see it? It's up there, the motherboard with it's baby motherchips.

And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and I'm never going to be able to get that heat back. I've called and they just hang up."

That was the last time I flew Spirit Airlines. Four hours of this rambling, incoherent speech and blinking each eye individually. Pupils as big as dinner plates.

Username: LawbstahRoll

When I was a young kid in the 80's we took one of our regular trips from Oregon to Hong Kong to visit my mom's family. A few hours into the flight we started hearing people murmuring loudly, sounding concerned, someone loudly said something like "OMG THE ENGINES ARE LEAKING!"

Sure enough, we looked out our window and could see a large stream of some sort of liquid spraying out of the wing on our side of the plane. I was a kid, so I don't remember all the details clearly, but I don't think there was an announcement, at least not for awhile, and I think what was told to everyone on the plane was vague... but what was clear was that we were being re-routed to Alaska and would be landing there for some reason.

Turns out, someone on the plane was having a medical emergency, altitude sickness or something, and were panicking because they couldn't breath. Alaska was the nearest airport, but we couldn't land with the weight of the plane so they had to dump fuel to compensate.

Because of the detour, we ended up missing our connecting flight in Tokyo. The next available route to Hong Kong was through Korea, which seemed fine, except for the fact (& maybe this was lost in translation somehow), the airport in Seoul at that moment was on strike.

I very clearly remember entering the airport feeling like we'd entered a war zone, it was packed full of people, many sleeping on any unoccupied surface. The craziest thing I remember was a giant group of people breaking into a restaurant and cooking up giant pans of fried rice so to feed everyone. It was chaos.

I don't remember how long we were there for or how we ended up leaving, but we did eventually make it onto a flight to Hong Kong... 3 days after we were supposed to be there.

Some of you may or may not remember a time before cell phones, or any kind of instant communication for that matter, but this was the late 80's so we had no way of communicating with my mom's family... and surprise surprise, they had no clue what had happened to us... so they had been taking shifts waiting and hoping that we would eventually arrive.

Username: honestlai

Its not exactly a heard, but witnessed something rather odd I was sat next to a Russian woman on a plane an attractive blonde woman and on my left was my girlfriend, well this Russian woman started talking to me in English and explaining her problems about her relationships and how women in Russia over 30 are considered not good for marriage and I just thought it was just conversation, well as time goes by she asks if she can rest her head on my shoulder to sleep and I don’t know what to say because if I say no it’s awkward for four more hours and as she does so I look at my girlfriend and we’re both weirded out, but it’s harmless and I’m a bigger guy with broad shoulders and I’m in the middle so makes sense.

anyway I need to go the toilet so I wake the lady up and ask if she can jump out to let me by and all of a sudden I felt a brush on my arm as I go by, I turned around when I get to the toilet and ask if she wants to go in first before me before I walk down the isle and she gives me this smile and all of a sudden races up the isle gets to the end and twirls her hair, but as I start walking down the isle her face goes white and she stares out me in confusion, I get to where she is, but then rapidly moves back to her seat, once I reach her.

See the thing is I have cerebral palsy mild my speech is fine, my mental faculties are fine, infact when I’m sitting down you can’t tell I walk with a bop / slight gait, I can walk but not like for hours and hours and I’m 6ft big guy very broad a lumber jack physic with a big beard to match.

I figured she thought she was going to get some and was expecting a healthy dude I dunno, but when she saw me walk her expectations went from “something” to “oh fuck, can he fuck? or do I don’t want to sleep with a guy like that.”

anyway, throughout the rest of the flight she slept sitting up. It’s happened before many times in my life especially growing up, but that played out so weird, and afterwards me and my girlfriend were convinced I was going into the mile high club. When we went to get our language we saw her walking back and she was bright red.

Not gunna lie it felt good, my girlfriend was pretty chill about it and knew I wouldn’t of, but she knew I loved the fantasy.

Username: SerifGrey

Oh God, I've got one. I was on a flight from one small Baltic country to another. It was a tiny plane so you could hear EVERYTHING going on in that flight. It was only an hour, and immediately to the left a couple rows up there's a middle aged guy trying to rizz the woman sitting behind him.

They both had accents but spoke English to each other, which meant pretty much everyone on the flight could understand them to some degree. Before the plane takes off he tells her he's a pilot, he could fly her anywhere in the world.

She's clearly not interested but acting polite, she's going through papers for work, she's got shit to do! This guy is obnoxious as hell. He calls over the flight attendant for two glasses of sparkling, which the woman refuses but he insisted. Mind you, we were on a cheap little budget airline plane.

have a book with me and I proceed to, for the whole hour of the flight, listen into their conversation while pretending to read. There was a woman sitting next to me and while her English was limited every so often he'd say something ridiculous to try and woo this woman and we'd give each other a look.

The whole plane had to listen to this guy rag on about himself to try and impress her for the whole flight. It was so horribly embarrassing, nothing was working, she was so uninterested the whole time.

The way he poked his head through the seat the whole damn time, how he kept ordering champagne. It was such a show I wish I could have remembered more of it. When we were told the plane was beginning its descent he asked her if she was free tonight.

She said she wasn't, and he asks "what about tomorrow?" She tells him not tomorrow and so he says "well WHEN? WHEN can I see you?" And she finally cracks and says he can't, that she's not interested. He then proceeds to apologise for the rest of the flight, but in a way where he was just fumbling the bag at this point, trying to over compensate.

We all witnessed him dig his own grave, and it was glorious.
Oh! I always forget, but throughout this whole fight he kept taking her hand and kissing it. He kept eye contact with her the whole time he did it. It was genuinely the most entertaining flight I'd been on.

Username: Saturnine15

Years ago I had to fly to Houston for a business trip in the summer. Apologies to anyone from Houston but Houston is literal hell on earth. Worst city I have ever had to travel to. I could not wait to get the F out of there.

So I board my Southwest flight back to Los Angeles and I am like A5 in the boarding order. When I get on the plane the first row aisle seat is available so I grab it. I sit down, make myself comfortable, put on my headphones and start scrolling on my phone.

We are getting down to the last of the C group - the ill prepared group of people who forget to check in 24 hours before the flight and then complain that they have to take a middle seat. There is a line of people waiting to find seats when I feel a tap on my shoulder.

I look up to see this absolute beast of a man standing over me. No joke, this guy looked like Kimbo Slice. Hell, it could have been him. He was wearing a wife beater and a do-rag on his head.

I look up and he motions for me to take off my head phones. He says "Yo! You're in my seat."
I look confused "I am sorry what?"
Him: "I said you're in my motherfuckin seat"

Me (super confused) looking around at my fellow seat mates like what the hell.
Just then a flight attendant comes up to him.."Can I help you sir?"
Him: "this guy is sitting in my seat"

Her: "Sir, there are no assigned seats on Southwest" She looks at his boarding pass, "You are in the C group you are going to have to find a middle seat that is available"
Do looks at me with a death stare and goes back to find a seat.

Midway through the flight I get up to take a leak and I see this dudes massive head over all of the other passengers just staring me down like he is going to freaking kill me. As soon as we landed and they opened the door to the plane I ran like a little bitch until I was far from the terminal.

Username: tizod

When I was in my mid 20s, I was on a flight one time and had an aisle seat. A mom, in her mid to late 20s, and her son, maybe 5 or 6, boarded the plane. The son's ticket was the middle seat on my row. The mom's ticket was the middle seat the row behind. I offered to switch so they could sit next to each other, but she declined.

As the flight went on, the kid and I talked a bit and he told me he was going to visit his grandparents and how excited he was to get to Arizona. Eventually, he fell asleep with his head leaned against my arm. Went the rest of the flight like this.

When we landed, the mom leaned over to see how her son enjoyed the flight. He responded with "It was great! But mommy, why can't this man be my daddy?" Another for me...I was on a flight from Chicago to Tokyo for my study abroad. About an hour before landing, I had to use the bathroom really badly and knew I wouldn't make it.

I was sat in the window seat and the guys in the middle and aisle seats were traveling together. The middle guy was asleep and I didn't want to disturb him so I was looking to jump over the back of my seat as my row backed up to the emergency exit and lavatory area. The curve of the cabin wall kept me from being able to maneuver out that way.

At this point, the guy on the aisle saw me struggling to get out and his friend asleep. He looked at me and said "Hey, I'm a paraplegic. Just step on my legs, I won't feel it anyway." So I stood on my seat, jumped over the middle seat onto the guys legs and hopped into the aisle and made it to the bathroom.

Username: Pastystuff

When I was flying home from college one semester I boarded a small plane. Across the aisle from me was a mom and dad with a young baby that was crying non-stop during boarding. I didn't care, the semester just ended and I just wanted to play a video game on my phone and mentally check out.

But I could hear the mom asking the dad constantly to find the lighter, which was weird and stood out to me because, why do you need a lighter on a plane? He finally finds the lighter and hands it to the mom who hands it to her baby.

The baby stops crying and starts to SUCK ON THE PLASTIC END OF THE BIC LIGHTER. I gave a WTF look because even though I was young and knew LITERALLY NOTHING about babies I was pretty sure this was weird.

The mom looked at me and just said something along the lines of he likes it more than any teething toy and we have plenty of them so this is what we do. I just smiled and nodded and put in my head phones. I figured an actual older adult near me or a flight attendant would say something if it was as weird as I thought it was and I played my game.

When I got off the plane I told my mom the story because it was such a weird interaction. I didn't realize quite how messed up it actually was until my mom's reaction. Being a retired special education teacher she was furious that someone would have their child routinely suck on a lighter and was going on about how unsafe all the materials were. Made me realize how little I actually knew about babies and reminded me to renew my birth control before going back to college.

Username: Miserable-Match8134

I was in the airport with my family waiting to board our flight from Dublin to Rome. I was using my dad's laptop in the departure's lounge while we waited. At one point, as I was walking back from buying a sandwich, this lady comes out of nowhere and starts babbling at me in Italian. I ignore her and side-step her.

Later on as the plane was boarding, I was in my seat with my family, and the Italian lady is walking down the aisle. She leans over my mother and starts babbling in my face again. Still no idea what her problem is. Anyway the flight attendants come over, usher her to her own seat, come back to us and apologise.

Then a few minutes later this shouting and screaming in Italian came from the back of the plane. It was the lady again. She wouldn't shut up and so had to be escorted off the flight. we saw police cars pull up outside the plane. I'm not sure if she was arrested or not, but we missed our flight window as they took her luggage off the plane, and we sat on the plane for another two hours.

We asked a flight attendant what was up with the lady. It turns out that she thought I was going to take control of the plane using my dad's laptop or something. nothing too crazy, but 18 year old me was kind of amused at the idea of being seen as a terrorist, even if it was by a crazy person. For the record, this was in 2000.

Username: Bodymaster

June, 1985. I was scheduled to fly from San Francisco to Portland for a meeting. The company booked me on Air California because United pilots were on strike when the ticket was booked.

I get to the airport early because United was just cranking up again after the strike, and they had a flight an hour earlier and I wanted the miles on United. I went to the counter, asked the agent if they could accept the ticket, and he gleefully says "Seat would go empty otherwise!". The airlines back then could get the revenue from the carrier it was booked on as long as they participated in an industry group.

Get on the plane. Pilot making the announcements says if we want to listed to the air traffic control chatter, tune in to channel 5. Being the transportation geek that I am, I tune in. Taxi out to the runway.

I'd flown out of SFO enough to know that we should be taking off about at the point where the runways cross, especially with the light load we had of maybe 20 passengers.

We start the takeoff roll. Halfway to the intersection of the runways, the channel changes over to music. That's odd, I thought. We don't exactly charge out of there, we were well past the junction before we took off. Cross the bay, hang a left over Oakland to head north.

A moment later, the plane starts turning left towards the west. Huh? The pilot comes on and says we lost half the air conditioning, and they're taking it back to SFO because that is United's maintenance base (which is true).

Flight attendant comes down the aisle. I wave her over and ask if I could somehow grab my ticket when we get back so I could run over to Air Cal and catch the flight I was originally supposed to.

She says to me "Look, you can do whatever you want when we get back. Let's get this plane down on the ground first. I haven't been too sure about these planes since the strike. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

It felt in my chest like I had a heart attack at that moment. I was wondering what was going on. We weren't going out over the ocean to dump fuel, plane was probably light enough to head straight back. Made the leg south, turned back and headed north.

This was shortly after a Japan Airlines flight crashed where the passengers had a pretty good idea they were in trouble for a while, some of them wrote out notes to their spouses. I wondered if I should do so. And if we were in real trouble, wouldn't they be instructing us the "kiss your ass goodbye" brace position?

As we made the approach over the San Mateo bridge, I concluded everything was probably going to turn out okay. We come to the end of the runway, but there are no other planes around either on the runway we were landing on or the takeoff runways, but all the fire trucks were there waiting to chase us down the runway.

Everything turned out fine, we pull up to the gate, and there were maintenance personnel standing by. As soon as we stopped and chocked, they popped open the engine cowling.

That's when I realized when the pilot said "air conditioners" that's code for the big honking air conditioners hanging under the wing, commonly referred to as engines.

We were all shuffled down to another gate where they had another plane for us to take. I walked alongside the captain, and asked "Flameout on the takeoff?" he said "Yeah".

Username: ksiyoto

Family trip to Cancun. My wife, 9 year old and 6 year old daughters and I are all together. Initially, the door shuts and the captain immediately says..."umm we're going to be stuck here for a bit folks, apparently there was a maintenance issue that has not been resolved."

We sat there for 4 hours while they worked on the plane. Finally we start moving and take off. People were clapping.

We fly for maybe 40 minutes but the entire time something about the plane just feels off. It's very rocky and almost vibrating...just doesn't feel or sound right. Captain comes on again and says: "Folks apparently there was another maintenance issue we were not aware of with this plane and to be honest ummmm she's just not flying right...we're going to have to make an emergency landing in the next 10 minutes."

What the fuck did he just say? Did they forget something? What do you mean it's not flying right?

10 minutes go by, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, not only are we not lining up for a landing but we're climbing and climbing and climbing. We went up for what felt like forever...I fly A LOT and I don't think I've ever seen a plane climb that much.

My oldest daughter starts crying, my youngest looks like she's passing out, my wife is shooting looks over at me like: "Do something"...but wtf can I do? The captain isn't giving us any more updates, the flight attendants are looking at each other and buckled in tight.

Every huge shake of the plane and people were yelping, one old woman was loudly praying for jesus to save HER...not everyone...her. We finally start circling, BUMPY ride down. REALLY Bumpy. As we're approaching the runway The fire engines are all lined up and ready.

Man, when that door opened I grabbed my family and RAN outta that plane. I was never so happy to be on terra firma.United gave us all 15 lousy dollars for lunch.

That was their apology for scaring the shit out of all of us. Ruined the first day of our family vacation. Only reason I could find for why a plane would have to climb so high that we all felt lightheaded was to dump fuel over a populated area.

Username: Pantarus

When I was 20, I got on the plane in CLT to ORD, air conditioning wasn’t working, felt like a sauna as we are little more than a tin can sitting on a tarmac. They get on the intercom and say it’ll work when the plane is on/moving.

Whatever, that sucks, just get me to Chicago. I sit in my aisle seat. Liftoff, start climbing, get up to cruise altitude. I’m looking down the aisle- then, all at once, the plane depressurizes. I see everyone’s breaths as I’m looking down the aisle, the temperature drops and it’s freezing, and my ears start popping like crazy.

Plane takes a nosedive. Masks deploy. Ok, this is it, this is how I die. Put the mask on, and see everyone else crying and freaking out or screaming.

The plane gets pulled out of the nosedive and the captain comes on, his voice calm and smooth like always, and says that we lost cabin pressure, he had to bring the plane quickly down to a lower altitude, and we are circling back to CLT, get you on a new plane.

Everyone starts to realize that they are not going to die, some are getting pissed. They had us land with emergency vehicles ready. Had to call United and got the flight for free and got a voucher. They eventually got a new plane for us and we made it safe to Chicago.

Username: Mgnickel

My BF has been on a plane that lost so much altitude so quickly, so suddenly, that an air hostess was like, tossed in the air? The plane just dropped and she went HUP up into the air.

Personally, I have a terrible phobia of flying. I never used to, i used to be fine but one day got on a plane and brain went 'this is how you die'.

In terms of the flight was fine, but also sucked, was the 4 hour flight we took to Tenerife. We'd booked, paid for seats, boarded on time. We'd paid for our seats as we both have painful joint issues so we'd selected them carefully.

This family of like, six, 4 grandkids and two grandparents were the very last on board, after multiple calls, and couldn't all sit together. They could sit very close just not all in a row.

The grandma, of course, had a proper steamer about this, people did move around but ultimately she had 3 of the kids by her, and a fourth like, a row over, with other kids, so she wasn't even with some random adult.

...the grandma seemed incapable of just...making peace with this? She spent four solid hours barking ALICE to this girl every 34 seconds (I counted) My BF had forgotten his earphones, so I foolishly loaned him mine, so I had to sit with my open ears and listen to this eagle screech ALICE for the entire flight.

ALICE. ALICE. ALICE. ALICE. ALICE. Now, this was the same flight where I had discovered my new found TERROR of flying so thats probably why its stuck in me head, but omfg. ALICE.

Then 2 years after we flew to italy for a wedding, which is two flights either way from where we are. Both flights out were fine, but we landed to learn about the plane that had been shot down by the Russians. Horrible shit, needless, tragic, awful death.

Of course doesn't help my fear. Loads of relatives having to get trains and such like. Not a problem, compared to the awful tragedy, of course, not even a little, but still, got in my head.

Then we flew back through violent thunderstorms and my panic peaked and i spent the flights in quiet hysterics, clinging to my BF for dear life. Along with my great Auntie, the pair of us, just...I think we left bruises on his arms.

Username: [deleted]

I was on an off-duty vacation flight aboard a C-130 military transport plane. It was a training flight for a rookie crew, with four passengers in the cavernous cargo hold.

The flight was free, but there was the option to rent a parachute for $10. I had no jump experience at the time, so I declined. I wasn’t expecting any drama.

Shortly after take-off, one of the four engines (mounted on the wings), burst into flames. Plane goes into a steep dive. Ok, pretty alarming, but the plane stabilizes and the crew assures us that we are safe to fly with three engines, so we continue on.

The earthward plunge was a calculated attempt to blow out the flames, but I’m an adrenaline-drenched pancake before I’m told that. I move to the side of the plane that’s appreciably quieter and collapse on the webbed sling that’s supposed to be a seat.

About mid-flight, a second engine catches fire. Thankfully, on the opposite wing. Again, the earthward plunge. But the flames reappeared shortly after leveling, and the ground is now looking pretty close.

Nonetheless, there’s another go to extinguish the flames by plunging towards earth at top speed. This time the plane takes a steep yaw, whether deliberate or not, I know not, but I do notice that all the other passengers have wordlessly suited up into their parachute gear.

All look quite pale, including the one star general with a chest full of medals. They’re lined up near a hatch, ready to go out, and motioning me to come along. OMG, I have never regretted being a cheapskate so sincerely as in that moment.

This is not a plane that can land in just any corner field, but it then seemed as if the pilot did have the plane under control but was preparing for a landing, getting ever closer to earth. The plane was suddenly deadly silent, no engine noise whatsoever. One of the soldiers has crossed himself and is praying. It’s apparently now unsafe for anyone to jump. Another soldier lights a cigar.

I’m imaging a death in a fury of fire, but at the last minute, one engine, then another kicks in, and we’re saved from the inferno for at least a while. The flight back to base on two engines was the longest two hours of my life.

Username: Voc1Vic2

I was on a flight from London to Leeds/ Bradford one Friday, on a single propellor plane with only a tiny number of seats, some time back in the 1990s. There were two sales guys a couple of seats in front of me who had obviously already had a few drinks and were in full party mode.

They kept slapping the air stewardess on the backside and asking for more drinks, which she wasn't giving them as they were too drunk. Then they went into this long and loud discussion about this "crazy big" sale they had managed to make, which I assume was the reason for their celebrations.

I distinctly remember one of them kept repeating this dumb phrase, "I was like an angry big bear" and every time he said this he would growl and rake his hands as if they were bear claws in the air. His colleague would then say, "yes, and I was there to calm them back down again" and he would do this strange rocking motion with his arms, like he was rocking a baby.

As they got more and more animated, they kept getting out of their seats to do their little act, and the poor air stewardess had to come over and ask them to sit down again.

Then we hit turbulence. The plane hadn't been exactly stable the entire flight, hence the insistence from the air stewardess that everyone keep in their seats, but the last half an hour was pretty extreme.

I actually like turbulence, so I was loving every minute of it, rising up out my seat then being pushed back down again as we rose and fell through air pockets. The wings were making some pretty scary noises, but most of the passengers were obviously used to a bit of turbulence, as nobody made too much of a fuss.

Apart from the two sales guys that is. They were crying like babies the whole time. One of them started wailing about all his life's regrets, how he had been a bad husband and cheated on his wife, etc. The other one just kept screaming, "please let it stop!" over and over.

We finally got landed, after being redirected due to the bad weather conditions. Then we had to sit in a coach for a long and awkward journey with the now pale and subdued sales guys looking as embarrassed as they deserved to.

Username: Diksta

On a flight from Manchester to Dublin years ago, a woman with a tiny baby (probably 6 months old max) was sitting in somebody's else's window seat. The woman who's seat it was pointed it out, but the interloper said "I need to sit in a window seat because the baby likes to look out of the window".

Woman asks, incredulously "where's your seat? ". Baby woman points to the rear of the plane where her husband is sitting in a window seat with an empty seat next to him. Woman says "you can swap seats with your husband". Baby woman says "no, my husband needs a window seat too".

Seat woman gives up and sits in the empty seat next to baby woman but says " if this is someone else's seat you'll have to move back to yours". Nobody claims the empty seat though.

Plane takes off, seat belt and no smoking signs go off (long time ago) and seat woman gets out her cigarettes. Seat thief yells at woman that she can't possibly intend to smoke around a baby. Woman patiently explains that this is the smoking area, that thief has chosen to sit in that area, and not in her booked seat to boot.

Thief carries on yelling about not smoking around her baby and the selfishness of somebody who would do that. Woman looks her straight in the eye and says "get out of my seat, get out of my seat, get out of my seat" over and over until thief actually moves and goes back to her original seat. Triumph!

It wasn't actually overheard. I was the woman who's seat was stolen and wanted a cigarette. Just thought I'd tell that story.

Username: Illustrious_Hat_9177

A couple spring to mind. I had my ticket when I left for the airport, but lost it. Most likely it fell out of my pocket while getting out of the cab. After a huge palaver to get on the flight, (had to buy another ticket on credit card and hope for insurance to cover the cost; it didn't because I didn't have time to get a police report...), I got on the plane.

It was upstairs in the business class seats. Because of the stress, running through the airport and tarmac in the tropical climate, I was sweating like a pig. (Which didn't impress the attractive woman in the seat beside me).

However, after making it on the plane, as we taxied out for takeoff, I could see a pack of dogs rambling about on the runway we were about to use. I was convinced that if a bird could bring down a plane a dog getting sucked into an engine could as well. My gut instincts convinced me that I shouldn't have been on the flight and it stayed with me the whole flight.

The other one was a short bunny-hop flight between islands on a blustery day in a twin prop Fokker of some sort (I think). The plane took off climbed for a couple of minutes and then pointed down. The cabin door was held open by a bungee cord, so we could see through the windscreen from our aisle seats. As we got lower and the wind started affecting the plane, we could see that we weren't pointed at the runway but at the fields on the side.

We were probably at about 30 degrees, but it felt like more. The plane was getting buffeted and it was very concerning. Not for the pilots; they were cackling like madmen! We landed heavily with a wild swing back to the straight approach at the last minute, and a few bounces down the runway. And even then there was a fair amount of effort required by the pilots to hold the plane on the runway. Not much fun for us, but the pilots loved it!

Username: yearofthesquirrel

Flying out of Mumbai. The body odor. Oh my fucking god the body odor. It hit me as soon as I entered the plane. I don't know how to describe it...It was *thick.* Like...hard-to-breathe bad. For *hours.*

I never got used to it...at one point I thought I did, and then some lady sprayed some sandlewood herbal, I don't know, powerful disgusting perfume on herself. I have no idea how the FAs (or I) survived that flight. I had my sweatshirt over my nose the entire flight and it didn't help one bit. It was sooo bad.

Another time I was flying out of Dubai and there was a guy seated next to me. He seemed to be around the same age so we start chatting about where we're from and other small things. He says he's from Yemen. I was like Cool man, I'm from the United States.

He says Oh yeah...are you afraid of terrorists? I said No, sucks that 9/11 happened blah blah but no it's not a constant fear that I have. And he says "That's funny, because the real terrorists come from Yemen." I was like "Ah ok *ha ha, got it*" but he would not let up. "No seriously, the real terrorists you have to worry about come from Yemen.

Those 9/11 terrorists were nothing" "Yemen terrorists this" "Yemen terrorists that" all while increasingly getting more beady eyed and intense, almost like he was going to start frothing from his mouth. Eventually I was like "alright man, I gotta use the restroom" and luckily those planes are humongous and so I found an empty seat on a different floor and made myself comfortable there.

But for a quick minute I was completely convinced this guy was going to lunge at me or shank me or pull some vest cord or was hinting at something he was about to do...I don't know haha. I definately got nervous though. Luckily there was free alcohol and I drank until I fell asleep.

Username: ndnsoulja

Was on a over the pole flight from Hong Kong to London and it suddenly hit turbulence and dropped like a stone for what seemed minutes but was probably no more than 10 seconds.

I always made it a habit to have my lap-belt loosely done up but judging by the amount of people who literally flew out of their seats and hit the overhead lockers most had undone belts.

It was during dinner as well, so the stewardesses were moving a trolly cart down the aisle though I only heard the almighty crash as that was behind me.

I managed to do two things amazingly, grab the elderly lady sitting to my left and hold her in her seat (I was in a window seat) and hold onto my open carton of orange which came out like a liquid popsicle.

When the plane finally bottomed out and clawed for altitude, I managed to glance out the window and saw the wing so bent up it looked like it was going to fold.

It was only then that I registered the screaming as it was a packed flight and in our section there were people all over the place, mostly flipped over seats or lying in the aisle. One of the stewardesses had a nasty cut on her head from flattening herself ontop of the dinner trolly and it squashed her as the plane got traction.

Literally this was probably ten seconds of free-fall, but it was weird how everything slowed down and I had time to react like grabbing the old lady, it was exactly how you see in the movies when time is slowed then seems to speed up afterwards, weird.

Just one little incident from hundreds of flights but this one was the one that really stands out.

Username: Common-Ad6470

I used to fly a lot up and down the East Coast of the US. However the one that stays with me to this day from years ago was one that was from down south to up north that had flights every 2 hours. My original flight was for 11am but due to a Nor'Easter hitting the DC area that morning and working its way up - my path back up north was being blocked so to speak.

The biggest problem was that this was a small airport and they mostly flew the smaller ERJ-145 "3 seat wide" jobbies back and forth given the short flight. However the storm made it that those planes were not going to cut it thru this massive storm. So after 5 flights worth of people became piled up in the airport, they decided to go with bringing a 737 in and loading everyone up in that.

While things started ok (albeit some 10 hours later), we hit the DC area and it quickly became apparent this storm was a doozie. We were still a ways from Newark and once we hit Philly and the storm - things started to take the turn for the worse. However the odd thing is that Philly is still some 20-30 mins (flight wise) until you land in Newark and it was at this point the flaps went on full 22' and the landing gear came down.

It quickly became apparent why - in a "Nor Easter" the winds come off the ocean and rotate from the "North East" in a counter-clockwise rotation picking up moist air from the ocean (Atlantic) and mixing with cold air from up north - creating a hell of a mess. So the wind sheer that was coming from the East was insane and pushing the plane back and sideways.

Now mind you we're 3 x 3 width wise - the entire plane filled to capacity due to the previous cancelled flights. So here is this plane full of people, I'm near the back and I can see that the plane is pivoting side to side like a gator ripping its prey back and forth using the winds as its pivot point. Very strange to see but even worse to experience.

No word from the cockpit during this - just silent passengers waiting for each and every passing gust to hit the plane and despite all the drag from the gear and flaps - the plan was still going side to side on its wings.

Needless to say - we landed after about a half hour of this only to then have the pilot say what was one of the most unnerving things I've ever heard them say - and something I basically remember verbatim:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, thanks for hanging in there, it was a bit bumpier than we anticipated. However at this point we're going to have to sit on the runway as Newark wasn't expecting us and had not plowed the side runways given no-one else has landed here for a few hours. So sit tight as they plow us a path and we should have you on your way shortly."

90 mins later we were finally at the gate, a bit relieved as we had all that time from the flight to calm down... but it definitely was the worst ride I had been on to date. Oh and for reference - the storm was so bad is dumped some 24" on the NYC area and shutdown NYC the following day.

Username: dipshitten

Easy my last guys holiday before covid on my way back from egypt. When we were boarding the plane 2 of my friends made friends with this family (alot more social than me) for some reason i got along well with the mother and her kid.

We get on the plane and the family we made friends with is in the seats across the aisle from us so were chatting while the plane is queing up.

And As if someone presses a button this smell just apears and it wasnt the kind you just ignore you could taste it everyone in our section is upset askin what that smell is and i look to the mother not in a judgeing way but i looked at her to say "has your baby done a mess?"

She has this look of sheer horror and mouths the words "no its not him its not him". So am confused "if its not the baby what is that smell". Theres alot of noise going on 2 or 3 rows behind us and after a couple of minutes my friend leans over to me and says "the mans shat himself"

A grown 45 year old man 3 rows away got too drunk before the flight and shat himself (from what i saw and smelt the whole family was the same). We had to endure that smell until the plane took off and the seatbelt sign was off so he could go to the bathroom and clean himself up....BUT WAIT THERES MORE

(I HATE MIDDLE SEATS ON A PLANE COS OF THIS)
I was sat in the middle dont know how or why that was decided but there i was claustrophobic and needing sleep i was so tired but couldnt lie anywhere to sleep and my travel pillow was rubbish so i tried to sleep against the seat infront of me it was hella uncomfy but i started to drift to sleep until one of the kids from that drunk family just started screaming for no reason he screamed then took a deep breathe then screamed then took a deep breathe then Screamed then took a deep breath for a solid hour

I consider myself a pacifist and would never hurt a child but i had nothing but violent thoughts towards that veloci-toddler for the remainder of the flight

Username: HJL1st

I used to fly on business trips all the time so had a few but one shitstorm of a day just takes the cake, I was on an extended business trip when I badly sprained my ankle - sucks by itself but whatever, I want to go home so need to deal.

First airport was fine, got wheelchair service to the gate, hippity hop onto the plane, get to altitude and I swear it was like a bad joke the pilot gets on and starts the usual 'Ladies and Gentlemen we'll be flying at an altitude of-SHIIITT!!' mic goes dead, I about crap my pants, but he gets right back on and apologized since he spilled his coffee in his lap. Ok, calm down, all is fine... THEN...

Land in Ohio where I have to make a connection on a puddle jumper to Pittsburgh... I start hippity hopping on my crutches looking for wheelchair service or the big golf cart- all full. Make it through the terminal to the bus to the next terminal - packed and nobody would let me sit.

Hippity hop alllllll the way through the next terminal to the very last gate asking everyone I see if I can get some help since I'm worn out. Nope. Suck it up and make it to the gate, go to sit and whoop time for boarding!

Tiny airplane so hop outside where I've got to get up the stairs to the plane, I'm shaking, trying to summon the strength to make it just a little further, hanging onto either side of the stairs with my crutches still under my arms, when the dude that was in charge of taking the carry on stuff that wasn't going to work walks up with no warning and TAKES MY CRUTCHES, just yoink, off they go - I ripped him a new one and dude didn't even blink, just shrugged and kept walking.

Flight attendant was a Saint, kept giving attagirls until I made it up the steps, kicked the people out of the front row so I could sit where I promptly fell asleep and didn't so much as twitch until we touched down, then had made sure there was a wheelchair waiting right outside the doors. So good ending for sure but DANG... I was sore for over a week in muscles I didn't even know I had LOL

Username: bannerandfriends

I was on a 4-hour flight, in the window seat (3 seats in the row), and about halfway through, the young lady in the middle seat had - with no warning - a full-blown whole-body seizure. Thrashing, eyes rolling, everything, and then - when it stopped - had NO IDEA what had happened to her. She had never had a seizure before.

I had to calm her down and explain what happened while the flight crew called out for a doctor among the passengers (luckily there was one). She was around 20, traveling alone, not from anywhere *near* here, and *12 weeks pregnant with her first baby*. The doctor was great to her, and they decided to give her fluids and keep the plane going to our original destination (it was about 50/50, same flight time to go back).

I did my best to keep her spirits up, but she was still terribly unsettled. When we came in to land, though, something went wrong with the plane's brakes, which caused a huge rough jolt and horrible scraping sound. She immediately started to vomit profusely - *all over me*.

We had to wait for ambulance services to take her off first, and I just waited for everyone to deplane and tried to clean myself up as best I could (just *covered* in puke from chest to shoes, poor kid really blew up).

The cherry on top of this sundae? I had to run - still very obviously vomit-covered - to catch my connecting flight. My luggage was 'checked to my final destination', so I bought an "I Love Dallas" t-shirt at the gate and walked onto the plane.

I will always remember the looks of horror people gave upon seeing (and frankly, smelling) me, silently praying that I wasn't their seatmate. The flight attendants took pity on me and moved me to an empty row near the back, and I changed my shirt once we were airborne.

I never did find out if that girl was ok, I just hope her and her baby are doing well somewhere. I now have a Dallas t-shirt to remind me, and a much higher tolerance for the normal irks and quirks of air travel!

Username: CaptainNemo42

Ooh Ooh I have a good one...Went to Las Vegas for work and came down the flu while I was there. Had to take a red eye flight home on SPIRIT airlines....that should say it all but it gets worse. My symptoms were just getting worse and our seats were the very front row.

If you've ever flown on Spirit you might know that the front seats are probably worse than economy on any other flight. There is just enough room in front of you to not be able to stretch your legs all the way and its just plexiglass in front of you.

There was no way I was falling asleep. The flight attendants were basically teenagers on their phones and I actually had to stand in front of one of them and ask them to move so I could get to the restroom. I proceeded to cry my eyes out because of the extreme discomfort I was in.

When I got back to my seat, I had the weirdest most terrifying feeling wash over me. The pressure from the flight mixed with my crying gave me this extremely painful feeling behind me eyes and I wish I was exaggerating when I say this...but it felt like my eyes were literally going to explode out of my skull. I was petrified and very close to actually telling the attendants (good grief) that I needed medical attention.

It was in this moment that I had actually (again, not exaggerating) made peace with the fact that I was going to die on that flight, in the middle of the night, in the middle of the sky next to my peacefully sleeping boss.

After making it home finally I slept for about two days...went to the doc and got tamiflu and felt better in about a week. But holy shit. It was one of the worst experiences of my life and definitely worst experience on a plane.

Username: Realistic_Object954

Flew through a massive storm from Minnesota to Florida with my mom. Lots of turbulence, shaking, etc. It wasn't *terrible*, but it was enough to be jarring and prevent sleep. At one point the Captain came on the air and said he'd try to "fly above the turbulence" and we went into a steep climb. No big deal, but the shaking was getting worse.

Suddenly the entire plane dropped some two or three thousand feet in what felt like seconds. It was like the most gnarly roller coaster ever. Captain gets back on and calmly says, "well, that didn't work. Strong down winds. So we'll just have to fly through."

At that point the turbulence is horrific. Strong shaking, rolling from side to side, and from where we are sitting, we can see the wings almost flapping in the wind (they were flexing under the strain).

On top of this, this was a "family" flight with something like ten different family groups all flying with small children and babies. All of whom were screaming loudly. People were crying quietly and the flight staff was buckled in and advised people to just shut the windows because of all the lightning flashes outside might "disturb sleeping passengers." Yeah, sleeping passengers, fuck off.

The worst part? As son as we dropped that thousand feet or so, the adults got *silent.* No more quiet crying just silence from them. So there was nothing but lighting bolts, thunder, the groan of the airframe, and twelve or so crying babies and one five year old asking "mommy, are we going to be okay" as loud as they fucking could.

Just everyone else staring straight ahead and making peace with life. I held my mom's hand in a death grip until we landed.

Eventually we made it to Orlando safely (I mean, obviously, I am still here), but no one was walking off on steady feet. Even the pilots got out and sat staring out at the concourse for a bit before they went back in for final shut down and all that.

Username: Kiyohara

My then 4 year old son and I were flying back to Nebraska from Philly. We were otw to Denver bc that's where our connection was. For the record: I'm deathly afraid of flying and my husband was waiting for us in NE, so it was just me and my son.

As we're taxiing to take off, my son starts to cry softly. I asked what's up? He looks me right in the eye and says "we're never gonna see Nana and Gigi ever again" (my parents)

Outside, I'm like "Oh, no, dude it's ok. Sure we will!" But inside I'm like "What. The. Fuck!? Is this gonna be some kind of final destination shit? Did he see the fucking future? Is there time to get off the plane? Are we gonna fucking explode!? OMFG WTF DO I DO!?"

So I say it again like "it's ok, we'll be back for Easter" and he goes "No... we're never, ever, ever gonna see them ever again"

The plane starts to take off, we get like I wanna say 1,500ft up and hit a quick patch of turbulence. It was just enough to send me spiraling. I start to cry and hyperventilate whilst trying to quickly stop myself from having any emotions bc I don't want to worry him if something *is* going wrong. My son looks at me and starts to laugh...silly mommy always knows how to make him feel better....

Side story: before I got pregnant with my son, I went to LA with my husband. Otw to Phoenix we're crossing over the Rockies and I told my husband I didn't like to fly but he didn't believe me.

Well, we hit turbulence over the Rockies and dropped like 500ft in like 3 seconds and I freaked the fuck out, but again tried my best to quell it quickly (I worked for the airline and was wearing my badge and didn't want anyone to think there was a problem just bc I'm neurotic) so there was a lot of hyperventilating and eye rubbing almost to the point where I was slapping myself in the face to get a grip...he believes me now

Username: suestrong315

Not nearly as bad as some of these here, but I’ve sworn off ever flying Spirit again because of it. My SO and I were flying from Pittsburgh to LA to visit a few friends and check out the city to see if we wanted to move there. We didn’t have a ton of cash so we skimped on everything and took Spirit because I was always told they were the cheapest.

Get to the airport and get on the plane and we aren’t sitting next to each other. No big deal, just not how I would have liked it. The the sterward stands up and starts giving the safety monologue and he has this sassy, sarcastic attitude that I guess was supposed to be funny, but it just came off as an asshole. Especially since his attitude continued through the flight.

Again, no big deal. We got a cheap flight, so the guy probably has to deal with assholes all the time. I just pull out my switch and go between playing that and sleeping the whole time.

Until the descent. I had been having some dental issues that I had been slowly getting repaired as I got the money, and I didn’t know that the change in pressure could effect teeth as much as it did. But holy hell, guys. My teeth felt like they were going to explode out of my head.

Literally the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. As the pressure in and around my teeth changed back and forth so rapidly. I immediately started trying to look up if exploding teeth on planes was something that could happen I was so worried and in pain.

And the pain didn’t subside until the next day. So I had to spend the rest of the day pretending to enjoy myself for my friends/ SO and not like my teeth felt like they were stabbing into my mouth.

I also don’t know if it was something the pilot did with the descent or not because I didn’t have the problem on the return flight or on the flight to or from Atlanta the following week.

Username: AllShookUp15

On a 10.5 hour redeye flight from the west coast to Frankfurt, we made the mistake of having bulkhead seats. It turns out that's where the international flights have bassinets that pull down from the wall, and so it's where all the parents with little kids sit.

We had the middle and the window seat and a mom with a baby had the aisle seat. Her partner sat across the aisle in the next row, with their toddler, who was quite rowdy.

Problem was, when the mom put the baby to bed in the bassinet, it stuck out from the wall right in front of her and I (in the middle seat). My husband and I were stuck. Even the slightest movement would wake the baby and it would start shrieking, so we just had to sit there as still as mice.

Also, at the beginning of the flight, a flight attendant had taken our backpacks and crammed them into the overhead bin. They were our only luggage so both were at least 15 lbs. During the flight, somebody opened the bin and my pack dropped out like a rock and hit the end of the bassinet with a crash, narrowly missing the baby, and of course it started screaming bloody murder.

A flight attendant immediately hissed, "whose bag is this?" Horrified, I raised my hand. The mom next looked like she was going to murder me. I stammered that I hadn't even put the bag there--it had been the flight attendant!--but it didn't go over well so I just let the flight attendant put it in a different overhead bin farther up the plane.

So for the remaining 5-6 hours we were trapped behind a bassinet, getting death glares from an angry German mother, and afraid to drink more than a few sips of water because we couldn't get out to pee. Needless to say, when we finally arrived in Prague we were basically zombies. We tried to stay up until a normal bedtime but ended up passing out around 4pm.

Username: happypolychaetes

Had just adopted 2 children from Ethiopia. Our return route was from Addis Ababa Ethiopia to JFK, then a 2 hour car ride home. Nearly everything that could go wrong did. This is a traumatic event for the children, so they were very scared and unsure.

Within moments of entering the plan both children are in tears. Within an hour our new 5 year old is whaling at the top of his lungs, the one year old is crying for hours, and due to illness and parasites the baby is a constant stream of diarrhea.

After a couple of hours the flight attendants are asking us to keep the kids quiet (like how???!?!), and at some point asks me to take my son to the back of the plan near the bathrooms because others are getting upset.

So that sucks, but honestly, no unexpected. BUTTTT, as we are on final approach the pilot pulls up and informs us we can't land at JFK, and are diverted to Boston due to weather at JFK. We end up at Boston International with about 10 other unexpected 747's full of people, all of whom are stuck overnight trying to find hotels and rental cars.

No flights will be departing until the next day. We are scrambling to figure out what to do at 3 AM in the Boston airport with three kids (we brought our oldest son for the trip), while the 1 year old is spewing shit through her diapers and clothes onto the airport terminal floor while surrounded by a billion strangers.

After hours of calling around we manage to rent a car and drive a couple hours towards home before staying in a crappy hotel. Finally proceeded the rest of the way home via car the next morning.

Door to door it was 56 hours of crying, and shit, no sleep, and pure hell. WORST. FLIGHT. EVER. I felt so terrible for the passengers nearby. It must have been a nightmare flight for them as well.

Username: nerddadddy

Booked an 11 hour flight and paid extra for this specific seat that was one of two seats in a bulkhead row with an awkward empty space between them. I opted for the aisle seat in this mini two seat row.

Did this because I'm a big lady, both tall and fat. I confirmed online with the little map of the plane and on the phone with an agent that this seat was a weird one and no one would be next to me or in front of me. I paid a $250 premium for this seat.

Got on the plane, annnnnd I had been blatantly lied to. It was an aisle seat in a bulkhead row. But there were three seats, no empty spot between two seats. There also wasn't any extra legroom.

Unfortunately another big lady had done the same thing as me, and booked what she believed to be that second seat with a gap between us. She ended up in the middle seat in this row. Someone else had the window seat.

We were both confused when we got on, and chatted with a flight attendant who explained that there must be some confusion because there was no row on this plane with only two seats. Seems there was a plane change or something at the last minute.

Might have been a somewhat tolerable flight, as the lady next to me was really nice and we had some great conversations while trying hard not to be in each others space. Except the asshole behind me kept shoving her disgusting barefoot through the armrest hole.

Not just resting her foot on the back of it, but actually sticking her leg through and using it as an ottoman basically. I kept elbowing and shoving her foot back, and even turned around and told her to stop. But she didn't.

Went on for more than half the flight before I kind of lost it and stuck some dirty napkins between her toes. She finally retracted her foot and resorted to kicking my seat.

Username: SpicyWonderBread