I'm a software engineer and worked for a startup who wanted to be the next Commission Junction. The company was located in LA, though I was not. Every executive that work for the company was shady AF.
Also, just about everyone was an executive with the exception me and 3-5 other employees. As soon as the CEO invested, he took over and made it clear that anyone who said anything to anyone outside of the company he would sue into oblivion.
Our cast of characters:
COO, Eventually went to Federal prison for drug dealing.
CEO, Bored millionaire, who sold his brick and mortar business for ~500M. The COO convinced him to invest in his internet startup.
CIO, Collected a salary as CIO, but also through a silent partner owned a code farm in India where the engineering work was done. He pocketed 70% of the money paid out for engineering on top of collecting a salary and stock options as CIO.
CTO, Ran a previous business with COO, avoided prison by fleeing to Cyprus.
Here are some of the crazy times we had together.
I'm sitting at my desk one day coding, when the CEO opens my door. "Hey withak101, I'm kind of busy right now, so I'll need you to go and pick up my wife." Tosses the key to his Bentley onto my desk. As cool as I think it would be to drive a Bentley, I'm working on an issue that he said was my #1 priority and had to be fixed by the end of the day.
After giving some slight protest that this wasn't in my job description, he tells me whatever he wants me to do is in the job description. (more on that later) I drove and picked up his (trophy) wife 25 years younger, used to be a hostess at one of his restaurants.
I'm in my hotel room working and drinking, it about 11:30 at night. COO calls. "withak101, CEO and I are at his restaurant and it's dead here. Get on Craigslist and find some escorts to meet us here. Search for 'independent' and 'white' then look for a blond, a brunette, and a red head."
A couple weeks later only this time it's a weekend, but still working. Still late at night. COO calls. I ignore him. Calls again, ignore him again.
Texts me, "Site is down, fucking call me!" I call right back. Drunk COO answers, "Hahaha withak101, I knew you'd call me back if I said that. CEO, CTO, CIO and I are having a high stakes poker game in our hotel room here in Vegas.
Get on Craigslist and get some girls over here." Sick of this shit, I get on my soft phone, spoof his number, and call Porn Model Escort Service in Vegas and order 4 models on the company card. 20 minutes later I get a call from COO.
"Fuck you you fucking fuck, what the hell do you think you're doing? My bank just called because of a suspicious charge to Pron Model Escort Service." The girls I ordered for him were $3k each, for a total of $12,000 for the night. COO never called me to get Escorts for him again.
The business is burning through money fast, and the CEO has been yelling at the other executive types all day.
Some of us go down to the restaurant after work to get some drinks. CTO comes to join us. CTO drinks lots, it was one of the CEO's restaurants and we had carte blanche to order whatever we want. He asks for me to drive him home since I was sober. I oblige, on the way home CTO starts sobbing.
I think this has something to do with him finding out recently he was going to prison. Nope, he starts sobbing because his Range Rover is 5 years old, and the way the business is going he doesn't think he will be able to own a new Range Rover ever again.
I have lots more stories like these...
- CIO asking for a hand job.
- Escorts in the office.
- Employee home invasion ending in murder.
- CTO texting my wife from my phone for sex.
- Porn shoots at CEO empty mansions.
- Head of sales wife commits suicide.
- Interview with the FBI.
- Movie producers, (*cough* drug dealers) wanting to "invest" in the company.
Username: withak101