I'm not a therapist, but I have tangled with a couple of people that were in all likelihood a sociopath. They both told me that they hated me because they couldn't find a way to manipulate me. Which was a manipulation in and of itself.
The worst case was when I was in the Army and we couldn't get away from each other, or at least he had only one way to get away from me and what he knew was coming. I got a reputation in the battalion for being good at handling problem soldiers that team chiefs failed to handle.
Usually, it wasn't so much, a young man on his own with no parental supervision for the first time in his life feeling his oats and having problems with the authority that's necessary to any good military force. So, sit him down, ask him what he likes and doesn't like, talk about his decisions, work over his decision making process (which he usually didn't formally have), and then help him with making the right decisions.
It could include everything from interacting with his supervisor at work and being timely to helping the young man sit down and work out a budget so he wasn't constantly broke from doing stupid things. My sister, who is a therapist, said I was practicing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which I guess I was, but I was also the last stop for a lot of these young men before their life went to hell for the next year or so.
On to the sociopath...He was actually transferred underneath me after one team chief had a nervous breakdown from dealing with him and another just threw up his hands and said he couldn't take it any more after dealing with him for less than a month. My company First Sergeant told me he was going to arrange for the young man to answer to me, but still work in his MOS, okay.
White guy, married, in the Army for less than six months, I think he may have married his girlfriend from home immediately after he completed training before he wound up at the duty station. His counseling statements told a part of the story, Strong PT scores, but regularly late for formation, constantly combative with his supervisor, would skate the line on insubordination, that was all from negative counseling statements he received before me.
I sat down with this guy and...something wasn't right. I know now that in that first meeting he had mimicked my behavior and speech pattern, but my job was to see if I could recover a useful soldier for the Army. I pointed out that with his counseling statement history that he already had enough to be recommended for non-judicial punishment.
He agreed. I told him that he was to be ready to report to PT formation 30 minutes prior and I would personally see to it that he arrived (standard for me, before I gave them the rope to hang themselves.) The first week, he started probing at me, trying to find my weaknesses. He claimed one day to have diarrhea, I told him he would be reporting to medical call. He called me names, I told him I would recommend for punishment. He sulked. It escalated up and down from there. He kept probing, which I had learned what it was.
Finally, he seemed to calm down, and I thought that maybe the worst was over, he would settle down into the type of man the army needs. He actually invited me to his house for supper, which I agreed to do, and took along another one of "my" soldiers.
I hadn't sat down for three minutes before I heard him yell at his wife and heard the smack of a fist on flesh. I walked into the kitchen and ordered him to leave the house. He told me to leave and I told him that I would be right behind him. He said I couldn't give that order because it was "his" house.
A fight that spilled into the driveway ensued that resulted in the MPs being called in. When the wife was checked, she had signs of having been enduring regular beatings. She was told that she would either file a restraining order against him or she would be removed from the post.
The following day, I sat down with this punk, our company CO, First Sergeant, Platoon Leader, and Platoon Sergeant in what had to be one of the weirdest conversations ever.
He blamed me for the fight, blamed his wife for why he was hitting her, giggled like a maniac when we discussed his behavior with his first team chief, but when he got back around to me he said he hated me because he couldn't find my center, that I didn't have switches that he could throw. It was the last time I was ever in his presence.
We went through the whole stack of counseling statements and had him charged judicially for each and every offense, then included the domestic assault on his wife and the assault on me. All together, we had enough to lock him away in Leavenworth for a few years. I heard he took a plea for 6 months rather than risk trial.
His wife, that poor wretch of a woman, we helped her whatever way we could. Put together enough money to get her and her belongings home. We tried to get her to file for divorce but she said, "He loves me, I know it, he just has trouble showing it." I often wonder just how long it was before he killed her, if things never changed.
Username: sierra3176