Spurned Lovers Are Revealing How They Caught Their S.O. Cheating...and the Aftermath

My ex fiancee had no job, no car, or anything, so I was working a lot of overtime and doing odd jobs to keep us afloat. He claimed that he "didn't like the job offers he got", so the deal was that he could stay at home and cook and clean until he found a job.

I started noticing that he had bruising on his thighs one night as we were taking a shower together. He told me that he was trying out parkour to try to get some exercise. He's extremely clumsy, so I believed it.

One day, he came home with his best friend and he had hickeys on his neck. He told me that his best friend had done it as a joke (they're always doing things like this to each other, so again, I believed it).

I started noticing that anytime he was on the computer and I'd walk by, he'd get really nervous and shield the screen from me. I confronted him about it, and he just said that it was his personal business and that he wouldn't do it to me. Most of the time he just played World of Warcraft, so I didn't understand what the big deal was.

We started to argue about him not having a job, and he'd get so mad at me during these arguments, that he'd just drive off (in my car) and stay gone for days. I'd be so worried about him. I decided then that I would get him a cell phone so that in case of emergencies, he could call me, so at least I'd know he was safe.

Things go back to normal after he comes back, explains that he just needed a few days to himself from the stress, and that he was actively searching for a job, even if he didn't like the jobs that were offered to him.

Fast forward about a month, he still doesn't have a job but works temp jobs until something more permanent comes in, and I'm behind on the bills because I just can't pay them. My job offers me overtime so I take it.

My fiancee tells me he's going to our college's anime club night to blow off some steam. When I come home, he's nowhere to be found, so I decide to go to anime club myself and blow off some steam as well. Well, anime club had already let out- half an hour before.

Confused, I call his cell phone. No answer. I go back home, hoping he had just went to the store or something and I'd missed him. No one's home, so I call again, and hear his phone ringing by the computer.

His yahoo messenger was still open, and he had left a conversation open. Since he was so apprehensive about me seeing his internet doings, I decided to read.

Apparently he had been talking to this girl for about 6 months. He was telling her how I never had time for him, that I was dragging him down financially, the only thing he really wanted from me was his (MY) car, and that I never had sex with him anymore (we had a pretty active sex life).

Scrolling up through all of their convos, she was kind enough to give him her address. So, I decide to walk over there (he took my car- I would walk to work since it wasn't that far, and left the car for him to go job searching).

When I get over to the girl's house, I didn't have to knock or anything. The curtains in the front windows were open, and I saw my 125 lb fiancee getting ridden by a morbidly obese girl on the living room couch, with her young (8 or 9 year old) son in the dining room in full view of everything. Guess where all the bruising on his thighs came from?

I walked back home and waited on him to get back (at 3 AM) and confronted him. He tried to deny it, until I brought up the fact that she had a young son. We fought, and he begged to try to make it work. Being the dumbass that I am, I decided to try to make it work.

Eventually I left him for good- he never got a job, and he never stopped cheating- even a lesbian friend of mine told me that he tried to force himself onto her.

Now I'm happily engaged to my boyfriend of 7 years, and I still see my ex around town from time to time. He's homeless. I also see the morbidly obese girl at Walmart from time to time riding around in her little motorized wheelchair.

Username: OrphenZidane

I came home from work early(don't they always begin like this). Me and my co-worker only had to install two units, which lead to only about 6-hours of labor. I was excited to be heading home early too, and was pretty horny.

After I strutted thru the front door, I immediately heard some commotion and whispering upstairs. To be honest, cheating was not the first thing on my mind, I was thinking maybe one of her relatives came to visit. Some would call it being naive or gullible but our relationship was going great and was pondering proposing to her.

I walk upstairs to see what was going on and came to MY master bedroom...The door was locked so knocked and asked my SO what was going on. She said that she "just got out the shower". I immediately knew something was going on because I see her naked all the time and we were WAY past the point of being comfortable around each other bare-assed. Her voice was kind of shaky too.

We stayed in a 3-story house and it was a pretty big drop with a large concrete deck directly under the MB window, so the first plan of escape wouldn't be to jump out. If another guy was in there, he was pretty fucked (no pun intended). I told...we'll call her "Malice"...her that I needed to take a shower and change clothes.

She replied with "My goodness, I didn't know you were getting home so early, I had a surprise planned for us". Before I could even ask what Malice was doing, asked me to "Go to the store and get some wine along with a couple of T-bones". I told her I didn't want to leave the house without bathing, but she gave me a "please" with a erotic "I'll make it up to you I promise".

I was pretty pissed at this time, my routine after getting off is to take a shower THEN take care of whatever business I needed to take care of. So I tell her I'm going to watch some tv before I leave...Typical trolling. I watched an episode and a half of Justice League Unlimited... She never left the room.

So I finally told her that I was leaving to the store and she said "Ok, hurry back!" I got in the car and made a phone call to a good friend of mine (stays about 5 houses down) and asked him to see if anything happens at the house after I leave.

He agreed to and I was on my way. Picked up some Arbor Mist and two T-bones still, thinking maybe she is planning something. Friend called me at the checkout and said that Malice along with some other guy hopped in her car and left.

At this time I am FURIOUS! I tried to call her, she didn't pick up. I go home and found a note saying "yrots elohw siht dettihs-llub zetnicaM ,I", one of those silly note games that we usually play with each other.

I run to the bedroom, it reeked of sweaty vagina and balls. I go downstairs and wait patiently. I get a call from her asking where I was, I told her in my calmest voice "at the house". She said she was on the way then I hung up without even saying goodbye.

She walks thru the door saying we have to talk, saying she doesn't want to be with me anymore/we should go our separate ways. I asked her why...

She looked at me for a moment and said "I'm sorry". Right at that moment I told her to "Get your shit and get the fuck out". That was a year ago and I still don't know what the hell happened. It hurts because I loved her and she was one of the best lovers I ever had...I wanted a FAMILY with her. I still haven't fully recovered...

Username: MacinTez

I was dating a guy who was a Coast Guard. He was divorced for a year and had a child with his ex wife. Within the year of us together, he eventually moved in with me. He was kinda sketchy with his phone, but I thought it was maybe just me reading into things. He would also go away for work a lot, and once even took his son to see his mother in Texas.

His brother was getting married (in Texas), and naturally I was his plus one. I traveled with him and his son from the east coast. First thing when we landed, I met his mother. She hated me flat out. Looked at me with disgust, which I didn’t get why.

During our visit my ex says “so last year when I visited you with my son...” His mother snaps back “you didn’t come last year. I haven’t seen you in over 5 years”. This was obviously a red flag because he sent pics of him and his son visiting his mother at a lake...

We get to the hotel and I question him about it. He starts saying that his mom is going senile and when his brother shows (the one who’s getting married), he’ll straighten it out. Well, bother shows up at our hotel that evening within the hour!

So, my ex starts asking him if their mom is senile, brother says “no”. Then mentions how he was just last year in Texas and they were all hanging out together and mom doesn’t remember....his brother replied “dude, last time I saw you in Texas was 3 years ago on duty, and you weren’t with your son”.

Needless to say I’m pissed. Wedding comes and now I meet his fathers side of the family (his parents divorced). His father was nice and step mom, but his aunts also hated me deeply. Out of no where, the step mom says to me, “everyone is just mad at you because you broke up a family.”

I told her that my ex said they were divorced for over a year. He tanned face turned white. I got sick to my stomach. He gave me permission to go through his Facebook and phone to PROVE he wasn’t cheating and wasn’t married.

Apparently when he moved in with me, he moved out of living with his wife. They were still married. His trip to his mom’s ? That was a family vacation he took with his wife, son, and wife’s family in the jersey shore. Also, he has been cheating on his wife all along since they got married.

He kept all this info on his Facebook messenger and his phone texts. I saw the text where his wife was madly asking him, the day he moved in, “WHERE ATE YOU GOING??? You just come home one day and told me you found someone and you’re leaving me!???”

I was so heart broken for the wife, son, and so disgusted with myself. I had no idea, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was a part of this Trashy ordeal. He then wanted to see me so he can get his stuff and also to talk one last time because he loved me. I don’t know why, but I let that happen. I took him to a bar in my local home town.

He snapped out of no where (I was talking about Boston red Sox’s lol) and started to push me. Thank god it was a well lit bar, people saw. I tried to call a cab and he grabbed my purse. I yelled to the bar tender to call the police. Luckily, there was an off duty cop that witness everything.

Ex went to jail for 3 days and I got an order of protection. The coast guard was notified and I was contacted by his psychiatrist. That cunt try to have me say on the phone how I wasn’t afraid of him (I was) and the order of protection I got was dramatic (it wasn’t). Thank god that didn’t fly because the off duty police offer testified on my behalf and I didn’t even have to show in court. I’m leaving a bunch of stuff out but those are the juicy parts lol.

Username: JustMyHumbleOpinion1

We were engaged, and started doing the wedding planning. Lined up a venue, narrowed the caterers down to two, had plans for decor and guests and the like. In other words, progress. My job got busy and I asked her to email the caterers to get some proposals and questions answered.

A few days later I asked about it and she told me there was no response yet. Weeks go by. Still no response. I tell her, well, if they don’t want our business then hell, guess we’re going with the other guys. Turns out she had never contacted them at all.

She tells me that she’s been having second thoughts about getting married. We talk and decide to keep open dialog. At the same time I notice that she’s been quiet, on her phone a lot, and turns away from me while she’s on it. Odd. This is right after Christmas. I’m suspicious.

New Years eve rolls around and she’s in the shower when her phone goes off, like a bunch. It’s a snapchat notification. My suspicion kicks in and I unlock her phone to see what’s up. Sex chat from a dude. And not only that, but he’d saved all her chats and photos going back to before Christmas.

She was doing this in my parents’ house. I was furious. I confronted her in the shower, yelling (I never yell), and she tried to play it off as flirting.

I packed a bag and drove from Chicago to Pittsburgh immediately when a friend offered to let me crash there after I told them what happened. Spent the new year and next few days with them. Cooled my head, drove back.

We ended up deciding four things: the wedding is off, we’re getting therapy, you’re going to be honest with me about everything, and you’re cutting contact with that guy. Your responsibility to find a therapist. Again, weeks go by. Again, she never contacted a therapist.

One day she texts me at work saying she picked up a late shift and would probably just stay there overnight since she worked the early shift the next day. Ok, alarm bells. She hates doing this if she can help it. I drive up to her office after work and see her car isn’t in the lot.

I call her dispatcher to confirm if she’s working and they tell me no. So I call her and demand to know where she is. Work, she says, I told you! No, don’t lie, I called your dispatch, where are you. “I’m at (mutual friend’s) while he’s out of town. I needed a night away.” I tell her to stay there, I’m coming over and we’re going to talk about this. “No, don’t, I’ll come home.” More alarm bells.

At that point I’m furious. She gets home and again I lose it. It comes out here that she hadn’t reached out for therapy, she hasn’t been open and honest with me, and I can’t trust that she was actually at friend’s place. So I kick her out. Tell her to pack a bag and go to the friend’s place or wherever I don’t care.

Think about what you really want here. I end up calling my sister who flies out and we get drunk over the next few days while talking about relationships and shit. About 5 days later I tell ex to come back to talk. Tell her to tell me what she’s thought about, what she wants.

She can’t do that; it’s all “I don’t know, I can’t decide.” At that point, after a calm decision, I end it. She ended up sleeping on my couch for a couple weeks while she found a place of her own and moved out.

Months go by and we slowly start talking again, eventually she’s able to really think about what she wants in life and stuff, so we rekindle something of a friendship. It’s been 6 months and were friendly. Not like it was, but it’s not bad.

Username: pygmypenguins

Despite our initial promises, passion and boundaries and limits clearly established, my first ex-boyfriend had asked if I wanted to try out a polyamorous relationship, to which I had repeatedly said 'no' over five times, but ended up giving in on his sixth attempt.

His tears, his crying voice had broken my heart, and I didn't want to be an obstacle for his dream... Despite my gut instinct telling me to not budge, I changed my composure on the matter and accepted attempting. I just wanted him, and to make him happy; his well being made my well being.

The joy in his voice gave me joy. We had a sort of weirdly deep connection, due to which once I even managed to predict and feel when he would feel bad. It was... Magical, and I never felt anything that deep again.

I met the other guy shortly after, we talked and seemingly began approaching each other, but I had a sort of weird feeling about him. Unlike my first ex, I just couldn't trust him fully. I couldn't tell exactly what was wrong, but there was some sort of lock within me.

Still, I was completely honest with that man, to which he claimed to not want that either, since he "was just kicked out of a polyamorous relationship that lasted over a decade, and it was still really huirting him" before promising to talk my first ex out of that. I felt hope and relief for a moment, untill my ex-boyfriend's 18th birthday came by.

The gift from this third man? A drawn commission of their two characters hugging and kissing, publicly posted on Facebook with basically a love letter, indirectly asking him out. It was on Friday, the 13th of April of 2018, not even two weeks after I gave up on getting into the (free) deck sailor course of my state's Port authority to eventually move to his state, to join him and start a life together from the little to nothing we had as individuals.

Initially, I felt humiliated, but remained silent. It hurt me, but I had no idea of the size of that wound, which would be revealed on the next three days, that were basically hell. I couldn't eat, drink or even sleep. Anxiety, fear, anger, betrayal, sadness, mental and physical pain took me over.

I tried to contact my then boyfriend numerous times during this weekend, which unfortunately had to be one of his random 'isolation' periods, in which he just wouldn't answer to ANYONE'S calls, messages or anything, would just spend his time gaming and sleeping.

I didn't know what to do, until I felt an urge to log in to his Facebook account, to which I had access thanks to his own 'demand' of us exchanging passwords. Until that day, I had never logged in to his account, ever. In fact, I denied that request countless times, but eventually accepted it to make him happy. He had quite a bit of fun trolling some of my chats, though. N

o harm was ever caused due to that, thankfully. But still, having dealt with privacy and trust issues since nearly always, I had quite the struggle with this decision even more than I struggled with accepting exhanging passwords, but something in me kept pushing me forward to log in.

After the whole weekend - including his birthday - without contact due to that unfortunate random isolation moment, despite the countless attempts to get a hold of him talk about the gift from his 'crushing friend', I finally got into his account, and basically found everything within minutes.

What I found in minutes was that he and that other guy actually always treated each other almost as boyfriends behind my back, before I even said 'yes' to trying prodding into polyamory. I felt broken, betrayed, worthless, even more useless than I always felt.

It was only at Sunday the 15th that some friends (including some ex-friends) of mine had just called me into a Discord room, in which they talked to me for eight hours about all that. I rejected at first, didn't really want to bother them with this problem of mine, but they really insisted.

It was almost like they knew, based on my silence and lack of activity at all on the internet. I don't know how, but it was almost like they felt it, they felt that I needed herlp. And for that, I am foever grateful. I cried, I nearly screamed, I vented, I asked for advice.

I broke down during that call, and it seemed to be just what I needed, after all these days just bottling up this emotional overload. Still didn't seem enough for me to even return to normality, but it was enough to get my mind out of that painful loop of thoughts, and I began considering, pondering about a small revenge. I was publicly humiliated, and I would publicly call them out on it.

I logged into my ex-boyfriend's account once more, and screenshotted every message, comparing their dates to the dates of our relationship. Took me a few hours, but then I left his account, got back into mine, removed my relationship status and posted a wall of text explaining everything that had happened with said screenshots as proof, which gained A LOT of traction.

I had tagged almost every common friend we had added to help with that, but I didn't expect these numbers in any way. Ironically, it was only about two hours AFTER I dropped that bomb that he showed back online, only to witness his image and reputation being destroyed by that post.

He became hated or disliked by many common friends, and had to leave social media for quite a while. Few months later, he returned, openly dating that other guy yet again, claiming the date I nuked our relationship as the starting date of theirs, while I was sinking into depression, that eventually led me to lose 30 kg and occasionally even question my sanity. He dated that guy for about a year before finally getting his polyamory dream apparently becoming true, as he and his boyfriend joined another couple.

These two eventually had a fifth one joining them, before apparently my first ex-boyfriend got tired of it and just became distant before cheating on his four boyfriends - including the one he cheated on me with, and leaving the four behind without even paying back the quite substantial amount of money he had borrowed from some of them\*.\* I had and still have quite a crush on one of these four people that he left, but polyamory was never my thing, nor will ever be - especially after that painful introduction.

Finding out that my first ex-boyfriend just left them brought me mixed reactions. I was insanely happy, laughing almost maniacally for now definitely knowing that I was right all the time about my ex and wasn't actually crazy, nor even went close to that, and for also finding out that the man my ex wanted to date with me had a taste of his own medicine, and felt some of the pain I also had felt, but also felt quite sad for this other person I kinda crush, but also am extremely appreciative of as a friend. See, my ex-boyfriend was his friend for years before that relationship, and it was quite sad for me to see this relationship ending that way.

It took me years to recover mentally not only because of having lost him, but because I also remained unemployed for three years after that, having to live under my biological parents' roof and controlling behavior. I thankfully have a low level job now, but am trying to make the best out of it, and hope to eventually be able to leave this toxic household.

Had I not given up on my plans to take that course, I'd be making at least three times my current salary with considerably less work hours. I don't consider myself fully recovered - nor think I will ever be - since that experience changed my being and personality in ways that I still can't fully comprehend, but I have been trying to become a better person since that day, because I am terrified at the thought of causing half of that to anyone else...

Even though I feel that I kind of did, to my first ex-girlfriend, of months ago. May be just a feeling of guilt though, I don't know.

Back to the topic though, not even three months after leaving his four exes, my first ex-boyfriend was not only dating yet another guy, but weeks after they took a third into their relationship. Thankfully, I recovered from that experience after years of sorrow, self hatred, guilt, agony and seemingly endless insecurities (stronger than my usual ones).

My first ex asked me to forgive him, which I did, and we are now sort of 'friends'... Part of his personality still really charms me though, but nowhere near enough to have me falling into that trap again. I may be a fool, but at the same time that I want to watch his world burn, I kind of still care about him for that charming personality, that... Essence of his.

Somehow, I still see good within him, and I want him to find and develop that good. The only hope of my soul on the matter is that he can/will eventually grow, develop and mature someday, and that that day does not come too late.

Username: KazuhiroYasei

Caught him planning the act after seeing messages on his phone while he was in the shower. I normally don’t go through my S/O’s phone, but it was one of those gut feelings, ya know? He and the girl (whom he met on Tinder) planned to “have some fun” all day one Monday while I was at work - in the apartment **I** was paying for. The only thing was that his name was on the lease (he had better credit). So I called off work that day and waited in the apartment lobby to see if she’d show. I knew what she looked like because Tinder.

She walks in, I follow her into the elevator to see what floor she’s going to. Floor 5? Yep. Our floor. I casually press Floor 6 to not look suspicious. She exits on Floor 5. So I calmly ride the elevator back downstairs and walk to the garage where my car and his car were parked. Grabbed this metal thing I had in my trunk. Walked to his car.

Broke all 4 windows on his precious vehicle because I paid for those tints, so they’re *mine.* I left the windshield alone because I didn’t tint it. Opened the door and figured out how to disassemble the $200 gear shifter I bought him for Christmas because, well, *that’s mine too.* Didn’t know how to take the rims off the car but I paid for them as well, so I slashed the tires instead. They were brand new winter tires *which I also paid for,* so guess what that means? Yup. *They belong to meee.*

Homeboy parked at the top level of the structure because his car was his “precious baby” and he didn’t want anyone to park near it or scratch/dent it. Lucky for me, that means it’s unlikely that anyone will see me.

No one did. The apartment - while I was paying the rent and fees - was in his name on the lease, so all I could do was stop paying rent for him. I went upstairs, opened the door, saw them both naked on the couch that *I paid for,* laughed, and just started packing my shit.

He hid a lot of my stuff to hide the fact that he was living with his girlfriend. I ignored him and all of his stupid questions and pleas. The girl looked confused as fuck, so I just told her, “You guys can proceed - I’ll be out of here shortly. He’s all yours, sis.”

Later that day I get the enraged phone call. He saw his car. I explained I had only taken or destroyed things that were *mine.* He threatened to call the cops and have me arrested for vandalism. I told him I had the receipts to everything I purchased for that vehicle to show that the damaged property belonged to *me,* as *I* was the one who paid for it.

It’s not vandalism if it belongs to me. I can do what I want with *my* property. Had a few months of him begging me to forgive him, but I knew better. He finally left me alone.

Username: Preskewl_Prostitewt

We were married, had been together for 12 years. She sufferd from mental health issues quite badly for the whole time we were together, and honestly I had been unhappy for the majority of the relationship (I had self esteem issues myself at the time, and felt I'd never do any better than someone who I felt like I wasn't sure to be with anyway... But that's another, longer story).

She has taken herself off her meds again, but seemed to be going ok. Then she started staying up late and being on the computer until all hours, started smoking again and lying to me about what she was up to.

She then told me that she wanted to go on a holiday to find herself, as she had never been on her own. We discussed it at length, and I came to the conclusion that she had been acting off just because she wanted to have some time for self discovery.

I sold my car (pride and joy at the time) to pay for the trip for her, as I wanted to support her as much as possible. Her story then changed, that she was going away with friends. Friends. Just friends. A group of friends. Friends. Well, just one. And it's a guy she went to school with.

She assured me at the time that it was all plutonic and that he knew about me, but wouldn't let me talk to him. They went away, karma bit them hard as they smashed the hire car into a tree in a national Park and had to replace the back window, boot etc. That was one of about 3 photos she showed me of the trip.

I tried to make it work for a few more months, but I had my suspicions. I checked her phone and found sexually explicit messages between them. I confronted her, she said I was overreacting and there was nothing going on, just harmless fun.

The next morning, I found an email confirmation in our shared email account regarding a motel booking in a country town. I rang them and they confirmed the booking, and saying they had two car bays reserved as they understood that we were coming from separate locations, as I was working away.

Shit got real. I changed the booking from a luxo room to a shitty single, said that I was coming up but the wife wasn't going to make it, and to hold refunding the difference until I got there. Then deleted the confirmation of the change and confronted the wife.

She moved out not long after, and about a month after that I told her it was over. The relief I felt was beyond measure. The divorce processed, but as she didn't want to talk to me at all it was done via lawyers.

At one stage, they tried to claim her mother had died. I was quite upset as I had no issues with her mum, but a few phone calls showed that this was a lie. My lawyer bought it up at one of the pre-hearing meetings, and her lawyer claimed "it was an honest mistake"

We had no kids, but I had to be careful as there is a clause that the ex spouse can claim ongoing mental health assistance payments , so I willingly gave up the house in return for no future claims against me of any sort.

I cut all the fuse wire on my way out, put padlocks on all the gates and shed and threw out the keys. Petty? Fucking oath! One of my friends made me a card that said "Congratulations! You've lost 200kg!" and had a hand drawn picture of me and the ex, with a big red X through her.

I left that for her on the fridge. Last I heard from a mutual friend is that she was telling everyone she was a widow. I'm now happily married with two kids and have never been happier or felt more loved in my life.

Username: Aussierob78

My wife and I had only been married a few months. 3 I think. Pretty much the day after we got married she turned into a physically and mentally abusive, controlling, manipulative, cuntrag. It was like living with a tiger. I hated being at home with and dreaded going home to her from work.

She would occasionally dissapear for a day or two. Upon return home she would immediately lay into me and just rage for a few hours. If I was lucky that would be it but sometimes she would give me a black eye, bloody nose, and a cracked brow.

The day I found out she came home. Wouldn't answer where she had been. Then accused me of wanting to fuck my little sister. She was clearly drunk. She drank some more and continued berating me. Eventually, she slipped into a blackout and wandered off to be. Normally, she never let her phone out of reach but on that night when she zombie shuffled to bed she had left it on the couch. I grabbed it and went to the bathroom.

About a week earlier during another bout of drunkenness she had told me what the password to her phone was. I don't think she ment to it just slipped out during a conversation. Unlocked I went straight to her texts and sure enough the second most recent conversation was with a guy named Terell and it was some pretty explicit stuff.

I had a few drinks and told myself that I should wait until morning to figure out what to do. That lasted about twenty minutes before I texted Terell "Are you fucking my wife?" This triggered a series of texts between the two of us where he not only admitted to it he bragged about it and then started giving me details about the sex they had been having.

The next morning I waited for her to have her morning shot and then flip down on the couch and then said: "So, I spoke with Terell last night." The look on her face was of mortification. I then spoke of what he had told me and asked if she had anything to add on the matter.

"Well...that's just false. I slept over at his place but certainly had no intention of any kind regarding sexual activity. See, I went to sleep and when I woke up he was going down on me."

"So, he was raping you? You were being raped?" I asked. She sat and thought about this for a moment. Her brain hadn't quite gotten started. "Because if that's the case we need to call the police and file a report." I said.

That's when she admitted everything. That she had been fucking him on the sly pretty much since we had been married. Then she launched into a sob story about how I had been mistreating her and then pulled out the: "I can call the police right now and have you arrested for abuse and you can't do anything about it. I have bruises." She had bruises from falling down drunk.

For some reason beyond the capacity of understanding of our race's most learned figures I decided to stay and work on what was obviously, to me now, a dumpster fire of a relationship.

Six months later she's stopped drinking but now smokes so much pot that she might as well be drinking. She's telling me a story that she's told me a thousand times before. About how her and her not related by blood nephew are down in Mexico and wasted taking a cab. She passes out in the back and the driver offers her nephew a jet ski for her. Nephew turns him down, and of story.

"Yeah, I always thought that pretty good of Terell." She says. That was about when I decided to get a divorce. But that is another post for another time.

Username: done001100

This is probably too late to get any exposure but it might be quite cathartic to type up. So, I had been with my SO for over a year. Decided to move countries to be closer to him (We were 4 hours by train apart). Got a nice new job, amazing apartment in the center of the city. Everything was so good...He actually cried when he found out I was moving down. Then we went on holiday to Berlin with some friends. We had been out all night and got back to our Air BnB when he passed out...and I have no idea why but I was over taken by this huge feeling of dread...like my intuition was telling me something was off.

So, I checked his phone. And that's when I saw that for the past 6 months he had been texting over 30 different guys. Arranging for meet ups, exchanging nudes and dirty chat...It was heart wrenching. I remember just feeling numb, apart from an intense heat in my chest.

I went on an hour long walk and ended up getting lost in Berlin (amazing city btw, i'd recommend going) until he finally found me and we talked. He explained that it's what "Gay Culture is" - bearing in mind this was my second boyfriend and I was very new to the gay scene. It was a very awkward flight back, however, as I had just moved down we decided to try and give it a go again.

Well, Queue 4 months of me being incredibly jealous, hostile, and suspicious the same thing happened again 4 months later. He came to my flat, drunk, and kept crying and saying he was sorry but wouldnt say what he had done. Again, I checked his phone and saw he had been with a guy on the night out. I got up for work, sent him a long ass text and told him to never contact me again.

The first day was incredible - i felt like a huge weight had been lifted and that I was going to get out there and make a good life for myself in this new city...Cut to 3 days later and i'm a total wreck. I can't sleep, my work performance goes massively down, I'm not eating and I cannot stop thinking about him. I found out that within a day of breaking up he was already on Grindr etc. It made me feel so redundant...Like he had no remorse.

I was in a really bad way for months afterwards. Ended up getting into drugs, alcohol, almost got fired. I remember one week in April all I could do was think of ways to end my life. And on the Thursday I sat on my balcony ready to jump. My flat mate ended up pulling me down and took me to the doctors.

I've since moved back home now, have an amazing new partner and my life is slowly getting back on track. 10/10 would not recommend.

Username: Zeusleftnipple

I was in a less than ideal relationship in my early twenties. We both treated each other badly and the relationship should have ended long before it eventually did, but for two years prior we were the ‘relationship goals’ couple of our friends group.

A contested abortion and some family drama on her part put paid to that. In hindsight it should have ended before the events laid out in this story, but we were young, dumb, and hadn’t figured out that some relationships cause more pain by continuing than they do by ending. Anyway.

We had a huge circle of friends, and she and I were kind of the center of it. Our place was the hang out spot that everyone gravitated to on weekends and evenings. We had moved into a huge townhome with a couple of other friends with a vow to work on our relationship.

Within a few months, we broke up; we fought constantly, and were making each other miserable. We both took this pretty hard because the human brain is a deeply flawed piece of hardware. She moved into a different room in the place, and we tried our best to be friends and get over the trauma of the relationship in order to preserve the circle of friends that we had brought together, many of which we’d had, mutually and individually, for years.

A month after our breakup, she came to me and asked to reconcile and get back together. She said that she still loved me and missed me and that we should give it one more shot. I agreed with the caveat that we go to couples therapy and individual therapy. We were both in a deeply unhappy mental state and I felt that if the relationship was going to work, we’d need to work on ourselves with some professional help. She agreed.

A month later one of our friends called me at work (I was a manager at a gas station and was working 2nd shift). He told me that something had happened the previous weekend that hed been struggling with. Turns out that my best friend and girlfriend were caught having sex on the living room couch by my roommate and a group of mutual friends when they came home early from a night at the club.

The circle of friends all agreed to not tell me ‘for my mental health’ after my best friend and girlfriend begged them, insisting that I’d kill myself if I ever found out. I didn’t want to believe him. I called another friend, who had been named as having been a witness to this, and after a lot of yelling and threats on my part admitted that it was true. The entire circle of friends were in the loop on this. I was the literal last to know.

I didn’t go home after my shift, but over to my best friends apartment. I confronted him about it and he claimed that she had told him that we were still broken up and that he wouldn’t have touched her if he’d known we were still together.

This, of course, was the world’s worst attempt at a gaslighting, as he’d been present the night that my girlfriend and I had resurrected our relationship and had even helped move her stuff back into our room. I told him to never contact me again and left for home.

At the townhome, I found my girlfriend in our bed. I told her “I know what happened, we’re done”, and started packing my clothes and books. She just lay there the entire time watching me. I’ve never had a more uncomfortable hour since.

I moved out that night and cut off contact with the entire group of friends. Six months later I moved cities to ensure that I never ran into any of them again. The punchline here, I guess, is that the relationship ending hurt, but I’ve never really gotten over the betrayal of my friends. I still have trust issues.

Username: MetazoaOne

Caught my ex cheating the night his childhood best friend died. Completely unrelated, horrible timing.. but actually ended up being a really great lesson.

A girl messaged me on Facebook and told me she had been sleeping with him, that he said he and I were on the verge of breaking up, yada yada and finally realized he was playing us both. I wasn’t going to be naive, but I was with this guy for 4 years and needed solid proof before I let my life collapse.

So, I’m going back and forth between talking to this girl on the phone, and him on the phone making up excuses, each time I’m switching back to her and she’s giving me more proof and saying how he’s begging to say it’s a joke..

About 30 minutes into this, I switch the call over once again from her to him and at first I thought he was laughing... he could barely breathe. He was hysterical and I realized he was crying. Of course I’m thinking “boohoo now he’s finally going to confess”... only all he could say is “R is dead! R is dead! No no no”

I didn’t think twice, got in the car and went to his house to be with him. He was on the phone back and forth with R’s siblings and some of our other friends. He’d be in hysterics, and then once in a while look at me and remember he’d also been caught and saying things like “oh god and you can barely stand to be around me” “is this punishment?” Etc.

I just comforted him over our friend as best as I could, although I was in such a state of shock that my comfort was primarily just physically being there. I of course did not try to hang the cheating over his head that night.. regardless of the terrible things he did to me, no one deserves to the pain of losing a friend. I was completely numb anyways, it was surreal.

We spent the entire next day with R’s family, it was raining, everyone was distraught. I was so overwhelmed I really did just turn into a robot, with the occasional hysteria when I was alone. I was grieving our friend, I was grieving my betrayal, furious, but didn’t let anyone know what happened because it didn’t feel right to draw attention away from the loss of our friend.

But in a way, it helped me decide to deal with it and move on. I was 20 and he was my first “love”, so in any other circumstance probably would’ve had a much more drawn out and dramatic escapade. I realized there were much more important things, and that I can of course be hurt but I was still alive and able to have my life.

It was not easy at all, my ex mistook kindness for forgiveness and it took a very long time to actually cut him out of my life with everything going on.. but that strange timing gave me the strength to realize my worth, that I would be okay, and that in the grand scheme of things that betrayal and man really wasn’t that important. He didn’t deserve my anger or tears, he didn’t deserve any more of my time as a romantic partner.

It’s been 10 years, sadly our friend R’s twin brother just passed too so I’ve actually been thinking about that night a lot. My ex is no longer relevant in my life, I see him occasionally at weddings and whatnot and am cordial because it’s not worth my time or energy to be upset over something that doesn’t matter anymore, holding grudges adds nothing to my life.

He’s cheated on every girl since me too (at least 3), you’d think the shit we went through would’ve been a huuuuuge wake up call but, alas, there’s a reason he’s an ex!

Username: SomethingAboutMeowy

Went to house (were split up but still very much married). Had been working on the marriage, trying to get back together. Wanted to see kids and say goodnight. No one home. Sat in front of house.

Her car comes down road, goes by me/driveway, keeps going. I start car and follow. They are GONE..., speeding. I go around a couple of blocks and back to house (this was before cell phones). I get there, lights on, they are inside, wtf?... she must have lured me around the block then hustled back home. Why?? I knock on door. No answer. Knock harder.

She comes to door, acting all sweet and innocent. No explanation for car tricks. I go in, see kids, say goodnights, etc. I ask again what's going on, why isn't the car in the garage, I get a story like "something about door garage door problems". I decide to go fix door (it's still my house).

Get to basement (split level) go into garage, there is my best friend standing there. Took about 3 seconds for the whole things to register. The look on his face said it all.

I grabbed him and started throwing him around, roughing him up, tossing him against the walls, stuff like that. I had 130 pounds on the guy, I was a buff 6'1" 270 and he was a scrawney 5'9" 140...

Threw him around about 10 minutes, wife (not yet ex) was screaming, calling cops. I went outside and waited on the trunk of my car for them. They drove up, I told them what happened. One went in and got the other side. "Best friend" was in there whining about getting his ass kicked. Cop looked at me, looked at him, and asked him "what did you expect??" Priceless!

They let me go and told him to get the fuck out of my house. I left. BUT...3 hours later after simmering and stewing, I went back. around midnight, I snuck up to the garage door. "Best friend's" car was in there. I went to door, rang bell, not-yet-ex came to door and told me to leave. I told her to either open the door or get away from it because either way I was coming in. She moved, I kicked in the door just like a fucking super hero... roamed the house looking for "best friend while not-yet-ex screamed and called cops again.

Found the little sack of shit hiding from me IN MY CLOSET! Pulled him out, threw him around the room for about 3 minutes, then went back outside to wait for the cops again.

This time they let me go again but told me they would bust my ass if I came back.

I was liberated that night. It was the first time I could finally clearly see who she was and how OVER the marriage was. I have never looked back.

Username: nommygur

First, I’m an idiot. My first wife left her husband for me (First red flag). A year after we get married we buy a ranch. Ranch needs a lot of work. So weekends are spent fixing it up with friends. This goes on for like 3 months.

Three years after we marry I get orders (military for a new job) for an overseas location and can’t bring my wife. I will be gone for a year. After the year the military sends me to a different state. So, we decide to sell our ranch. After we sell the ranch she moves in with our best friends (husband and wife with 3 kids).

During one of our weekly phone calls she confesses she and the wife are sleeping together. No big deal. The wife was hot and it kinda turned me on. (Second red flag).

I return home after the year and she admits to me that she was also sleeping with the husband (my ex-best friend). She says she needed to come clean before we moved because she couldn’t move knowing I would probably find out and she didn’t want to move back home alone. I ask her if this was the only time she has cheated on me. Nope. Remember the ranch and those weekends spent fixing it up with friends? Yup, she was blowing another ex-friend of mine while I was outside fixing up our property. She claimed I wasn’t showing her enough “love”.

After long talks we decide to get therapy and work things out. We move and get said such therapy. Things are looking great. I get orders again to an overseas location, she can’t accompany me on this year. She moves back home while I’m overseas to be close to her family. She befriends another husband and wife (third red flag).

Did I ever say I was an idiot? She was a master manipulator and I was in her web. +I return from overseas. I find a large amount of mix CD’s (music storage). She claims she made them. But, the fancy CD labels tell me other wise. I find no blank CD’s or CD labels in our home. She says the new friends helped her. (Forth red flag). She swears there is nothing going on. I believe her.

Fast forward a couple more years. Wife is away at rehab clinic for a massive pill addiction. When she completes her 28 day “vacation”. She insists on having a couple of her friends move in with us. I refuse. By this time I am on to her game. Her friends don’t move in, but she goes to weekly meetings with her rehab friends. These meetings are hours away from our house.

I leave for a business trip. I return early to an ex-friend of mines car in our drive way. Yup, you guessed it. I walk in to him on top of her. They were playing some sort of hide and seek game. I move out. During a trip to pick my things up I read her journal. Yup, she was having relations with just about everyone I know.

Did I admit I was an idiot? She did leave me with a great divorce gift. Herpes. Her next boyfriend was a meth cook who liked to beat her. He tried to kill me once because I wouldn’t give her more money. Last I heard she was homeless and living at the river bottoms. She blames her cheating on me because I masterbated.

Username: twistedkilt

Probably most traumatic day of my life; I hate revisiting it but maybe someone can learn from my ~~shitshow~~ story. I was dating a guy pretty seriously for about a year in college he was the second guy I dated so I got pretty attached.

We were at a party and he announced to everyone he wanted to marry me and everyone cheered and it was a fleeting nice moment. He got trashed and I drove his truck home with all his stuff and me and my roommates had to carry him in. I had his phone, I never went through it but my roommate was like “have you ever gone through it?”

And I was like that’s silly why would I ? He just told everyone he wants to marry me. But I opened it up and one of the first texts he had was from a girl that said “does your gf know your cheating on her?” My veins went ice cold and it was like deafening ringing in my ears I was shocked I kept scrolling there were many more texts from other girls he was meeting up with.

He had a Snapchat ring with his friend where girls would send Him nudes and his friend would log onto his Snapchat and could screenshot the nudes without it notifying the sender.

His friend would then text him the nude and they would talk about the girls (me included) I actually was hesitant about sending nudes and didn’t really feel like I looked good enough to send a nude and then one day I did and him and his friend were back and forth like wow finally Virgin Mary sent one and talked about my butt and how big it was and he told his friend all about our sex life and so forth it was really gross.

I dumped him, his friend sent me an essay long apology but I didn’t really ever forgive either of them, and I still struggle to this day with how he could do something like that to someone he loved and wanted to marry but i have to remind myself some people are really fucking broken and don’t know what true love is.

One of the many nights he cheated I knew deep down he was cheating but I didn’t really have proof but I knew-something was off about our conversations and timing and bc I didint have proof I didn’t trust my intuition but I wish I would have, a broken heart and an STD test (I was really afraid he gave me something thankfully he didnt) I found that I moved on eventually.

The first week was the hardest if you can get through that you can get through anything, every week it got easier & easier and eventually I forgot all about that lame-o. my mom sent me a pic of him a couple of years later from the book of faces and he got really fat and let himself go so that felt great to me while I had moved on and up and am married to the sexiest most loyal man ever he’s a fat loser fapping to girls on Snapchat.

Also to add I did tell almost every girl that I could find on his Snapchat that he had his friend secretly saving their photos with his friend so they knew that his friend also had them. I also told his mom and sister that was my age what he did.

I tried to get ahold of the girl that texted him about the cheating she wouldn’t answer me, I was really nice to her and just wanted to talk and hear what had really been going on and she told me she didn’t need to deal with my shit (class act) but yeah it was a rough time, it took a long time to recover, I still have trust issues but I wouldn’t change my past it’s made me stronger.

Username: TayyyMo

I’ve actually told this story before on a very similar thread, but it’s worth repeating. I got married very young (I was 18, he was 25) to a navy MP reservist. All throughout our engagement and early marriage he did shit that was major red flags, but I was young and dumb and gullible. Even when I kind of caught him in a lie, he’d just come up with some stupid excuse and I’d believe and forgive him right away.

Well after about a year of marriage he gets a civilian job as a prison guard. Before he can start he has to go through maybe a month of training in a location that’s a few cities over. So he would be gone Monday through Friday, being put up in a nearby motel with the rest of the trainees. Then he’d come home on the weekends.

Well on one of his last days (maybe it was graduation or something) I drove over to visit him and stayed the night in his motel room. The next morning we woke up and went down to the lobby to have some of the free continental breakfast. There we met all of the other trainees that were staying in the motel.

Every time he introduced me to one of them, they’d get really weird. Like they’d go pale and look confused and horrified as it they’d just seen a ghost. While we were eating everyone kept staring at us. I asked my husband why this was and he just said “it’s cause you’re so hot and young they’re all jealous!”

So he continues to cheat on me, eventually getting another woman pregnant, so I leave and go off to live my life elsewhere for a while. Fast forward to about a year after our divorce, I start dating this guy and go over to his house to meet his family.

Well his brother has a friend over, and this friend recognizes me from that morning at the continental breakfast. Yup, he was one of the other trainees, and he finally told me why everyone was acting so weird...

Apparently when my husband had gone to training, he always took his wedding ring off before arriving. The motel they stayed at was in kind of a bad part of town and was known for being frequented by ladies if the night (you could pay for rooms hourly if you get my meaning). He said my husband had been with a different girl almost every single night.

He would have them in the motel hot tub where the trainees would go to relax after class, and he would bring them to breakfast every morning. He’d constantly brag about how much tail he was getting and all the “hot” girls he was getting with. Well the other trainees just kind of thought he was a pervy douche, but he’d never mentioned a girlfriend so they didn’t really think much of it.

Until one of the last days when suddenly he was wearing a wedding ring, on his best behavior and introducing this little blond girl as his “wife” to everyone. That’s why they all went pale and looked horrified.

He said he and some of the other guys had wanted to pull me aside and tell me, but they couldn’t get to me in time before I’d left. Instead they just stopped talking to my husband. I actually remember him coming home from his last week of training complaining that “none of the guys like me!” Which he’d never brought up before.

Username: LoisLaneintheRain

We started out good, and then this random girl started showing up at events we worked together (we each owned a food truck, it was how we met). I'd see her look over at me and then get into his truck and shut the door.

When I asked about it, he said they'd known each other since high school and she was just an old friend. He started getting weirdly sneaky with me, where before I used to be able to just go to his house, I started needing to sneak in really late at night because he allegedly didn't want his roommate's son to see.

At one point, he told me he was house-sitting for his mom's friend and he invited me there. We spend the whole day pretty much hooking up on every surface of the house. There were two little dogs there that were very memorable because they were snarling at me almost the entire time.

A month after, I was on facebook and I noticed the girl who was always hanging around him commented on one of his pictures, so I went to her page and I saw that her facebook banner was a picture of those two dogs. I asked him about that, and he got really mad at me for not trusting him and making baseless accusations. He said that those were her mother's dogs and her mom is friends with his mom, that that's how they knew each other. I let it go.

We broke up right before my birthday, and less than a week later he showed up to another event with her working on the truck with him. They parked right next to us, so I could see them making out any time I looked to my left.

My stomach was in knots the entire event, and at one point I said something to a mutual friend and other-trucker who ran a popsicle truck about how messed up it was for him to have moved on so fast and rub it in my face. The friend said "I mean, I guess, but you guys broken up forever ago." I said "we broke up three days ago," but apparently that's not what he'd been telling everyone.

He told pretty much all the other truckers that we'd only dated a month, when in reality, we'd been taking for 6. I found out that night that he and that girl had been publicly dating at events I didn't work at, for 4 of those months.

I messaged her on facebook to let her know, mostly because I'm not trying to have her come at me like I was the other woman when he and I were together first and he'd told me awful things about her too. Facebook has something where if you message someone you don't know, the messages stay hidden, so she didn't see that message for about 2 years.

When she got back to me, she kept trying to verify if I was telling the truth or not. She tried to get me to do some weird pop quiz about his tattoos, which I didn't commit to memory because why would I? I told her that it was two years ago, I'd moved on, I just wanted her to know so she didn't marry that asshole.

By then, I was happy in a relationship with the guy who eventually became my husband. Apparently my ex and her had broken up for other reasons and he was at the time of her getting my messages, trying to get her back.

She was pretty livid when she read about how he'd taken me to her house and had sex with me in her bedroom, guest room, kitchen, and couch - all in front of her fur-kids. I should have listened to my gut when I saw first saw her facebook banner. Hell, I should have listened to it when he started trying to hide our relationship from literally everyone. Live and learn, I guess.

Username: [deleted]

So it was over Christmas break. SO was still in college. She had gone home to visit her parents. I'm just a tiny bit clairvoyant, and I got that sinking feeling she was with someone else. I called my parents to talk about it. They were like 'No way, she would never do that to you. You're nuts.'

I eventually confronted her about it. She denied it, and said I must be the one cheating, if I'm insecure about the possibility of her cheating. I've honestly never cheated on anyone, like I don't think I am capable of that even.

A few months go by. We had been together about 4 years. I was seriously thinking of proposing to her officially, with a ring. She had already proposed to me, unofficially, a couple years back, without a ring. Then one day she said, 'Stop introducing me as your fiance.' Should have been a raging clue.

One day my 'friend' from Dallas calls me up. Said he needed a place to stay in Austin for a day or two. I offer up my couch. He gets there in the evening. The next morning, I'm leaving for work, and my girl is dressed in nothing but panties. She gives me this fucked up look like: 'Why are you trusting me alone with your friend?' As if my trusting her was somehow me not caring.

So I go to work that day, and all day my co-workers are like 'She's probably banging your friend right now, dude!' Ha-ha. Yeah, right. The dude was fat, hairy, greasy, all around nasty. Your basic 'Can I borrow everything?' wook.

So he leaves a few days later. Then one of my other friends on Facebook is like '\[Friend who stayed with me\] has been bragging that he banged your girl while you were at work. Just wanted to let you know.' I'm still in denial.

Then one day a few weeks later, she gets a call on her cell, and runs into the bathroom to talk to whoever called. I couldn't overhear much of the conversation other than 'I'm glad you called'. Later, I get suspicious, so I look on her phone to see who it was. It was my friend who stayed with us.

A few months later, she finally comes clean to me about cheating, but told me it was one of her exes, and not a friend of mine. Took her months of therapy to finally work up the courage to admit that much. She suffered from bored housewife syndrome.

Apparently I wasn't sycophantic enough to feed her narcissism. So she had reached out to a bunch of men on Facebook, and basically fucked the first desperate loser who answered her call.

I confronted him and he said, 'Dude, that girl has been cheating on you with a bunch of people for at least a year or two.' So my original 'sinking feeling' was probably correct. I was pretty torn up about it for awhile, but now I'm happy to be rid of that parasite.

That relationship was shitty, and took me far away from who I truly am. I'm very standoffish about making a similar mistake now, and have been single for quite some time... but I've learned to be happy about that. I appreciate all the possibilities of being unfettered, even if it's mostly boring and lonely.

I don't speak to her or any of the people on her side, especially anyone I suspect her of cheating with, unless they are on my side about her. Good to cut toxic backstabbers out of your life.

Username: J2501

Sorry, bit of a long one. Ok, so this was a couple of years ago, and firstly I should mention we had an open relationship. We had very clear rules, and breaking the rules was classed as cheating. One of the rules was that a particular friend that had a crush on him was completely off limits, because she was too young (16 to his 23), and her family basically looked at him to be another big brother for her.

Another rule is that we tell each other everything. To not tell the truth or outright cover up any intimate act with another person was immediately classed as cheating, no excuses.

Anyway, this happened one of the times her and her family were staying over. My phone died, and I needed to call someone, so he handed me his phone. I unlocked it and it was still in his message thread with this particular friend, and they were discussing how they weren't going to tell me something. I asked him about it, initially thinking it couldn't have been that bad, as her family had been around every time those two were together.

His initial story was that they had been driving into town with her dad and brother, she was in the backseat, and he was laying across the seats because he was drunk, with his head across her lap. He apparently sat up at the same time the car breaked, and his mouth hit hers, and he didn't think it was a big enough deal that I needed to know about an accidental kiss.

The story, clearly, wasn't the whole truth, so I quietly followed it up with her afterwards, and she said that when they were left alone in the car while the dad and brother were in the shops, they had been talking, and he just suddenly kissed her. He 100% initiated it, and she apologised profusely for not telling me sooner, but he swore her to secrecy (as evidenced by the texts).

I confronted him about it again, and he changed his story a few more times before finally coming clean and matching her story. I made him text her and apologise profusely for the kiss, and otherwise leading her on, citing age difference, family conflict, the general inappropriateness of it, seeing as she was in love with him, and he only wanted to fuck her, etc.

He sent it, then showed me, and it basically read like he was saying all she had to do was wait until she was 18, and then he'd sleep with her if she still wanted him, and the only thing that had been wrong was she wasn't legal yet. I was furious.

He cheated a few more times, with multiple other people, men and women, and got progressively more abusive and manipulative as time went on, so I ended the relationship shortly thereafter, ironically by cheating on him. It was my first opportunity at exercising my rights to sleep with someone else, I notified him of my intentions as per our rules, and he suddenly didn't want an open relationship anymore.

That was the final straw for me, you don't get to have an open relationship, fuck everyone under the sun, then get jealous and insecure, and call the whole thing off when the other half wants to do the same. "Am I not enough for you?"

Fuck no, you abusive waste of oxygen. I sure as shit jumped in bed with the other guy, had the best fuck of my life, kicked out the boyfriend, moved in with the other guy, and haven't looked back. Our baby is due early next year ^_^

Username: ImCryingRealTears

Wife of almost 8 years (now ex) said she was going to an "overnight retreat" through her therapist. Town was less than an hour away in a small, old college town. I went home to visit my gma/family for her bday dinner (2 hrs away).

When I got home that night, I was crazy lonely and thought maybe I could see where she was staying (she had called and said she was in an old dorm and that it reminded her of college (where we met)). Find my iPhone showed she was almost 2hrs away! I never used this so wasn't sure if it was accurate (hint: it was dead accurate).

I didn't confront her right away about this; needed hard facts (I'm a data analyst). I was also in the process of upgrading my phone. Looking at our plan I noticed she had a shit-ton of minutes. I didn't recognize the number. FB recognized the number, I recognized the guy, and that he lived almost 2hrs away.

I didn't confront her until I called her therapist 'about the bill' for the retreat. I wanted to inquire if she had already paid (which I assumed wouldn't be free lol) or if we'll get a bill in the mail to "figure how we want to pay for it". Immediate confusion.

They had no idea what I was talking about. I left work immediately and told her I was home and we needed to talk. She told me about the phone calls. But denied anything happened. "Stayed in a separate room". Just needed to get away.

She moved out. Acted like I didn't exist most of the week unless we met to talk/try to figure things out.
She later planned a wonderful birthday date....for him. But I saw the email confirmations when I tried to check my email (it was still logged into her account).

The day of I decided to get a rental car (mine would be easily recognized) and see what I could see for myself. As luck had it, I saw them walking to their fancy steak-house dinner. I parked and followed them. I waited for over 2hrs for them to leave and followed them back to the hotel.

They were holding hands and she kissed him at one point. Was even able to see them walk into their hotel room.... Heard several things from normal conversations, flirting, kissing, etc. Realized that if I heard them having sex I didn't know what I'd do so I left and texted both of them.

Shortly after I said if she wants any chance to try to work things out, there could be zero contact with him. She agreed.... But then the following weekend or two I found out she was at his place again. That was it. I was done. She didn't put forth any effort to work on our marriage/relationship.

Months later she informs me she's pregnant (which is why she saw a therapist as we found out I can't have kids). I said congrats, that's what you wanted. *Edit: I was relieved, honestly, because now people/her family could do the math and they would realize she got pregnant before we were divorced*

The guy is a pos. Was caught stealing or using drugs at his job (which I think she may have helped him get so he could move in with her. I believe it was a felony or two. Ha! I was a mess for awhile. But now, I have a gf who I plan to spend the rest of my life with. I couldn't be more in love.

Username: jsommer3

This hits kind of close to home, cause it is literally ongoing. I stumbled upon it completely by accident. I had just lost my job at the start of the Corona shut down in March. I came home and started looking at ways to cut down on bills. I looked over the phone bill to see if we could drop to a plan with less data usage.

That's when I saw that her line had close to 2,000 minutes used and we were only into the 2nd week of the billing cycle. I looked at the call log to see what was going on, and found that she had been making 3hr phone calls to the same number every day for weeks. I used whitepages to see who owned the number, and found it was someone named Jeremy, and that he lives on the far side of the state, about 8hrs away.

She had just gone out of town on a post-work relief trip. I used her find my phone app to see where she went, which happened to be clear across to the other side of the state, at the same city, street, and address he was registered to. She was there for 3 and 1/2 days.

I waited for her to come home. But before I saw her, I called him, and got all of the information I needed. He was surprisingly helpful, probably because he knew very little about me, and was extremely shocked to hear from me.

After wrapping up with him, I then prompted a long conversation with my wife over the problems that were in our marriage, and where her head was at on wanting to fix things, pursue therapy etc. I then told her I knew about Jeremy, and everything they did while she was gone for the 4 days.

In the past, if you asked me how I would react to being cheated on, it would have been a 3 strike policy. I give everything in life 3 chances to correct major mistakes, before making a clean cut decision. I can honestly say now, that one never truly knows how they are going to react until they are in the moment, especially with something like this.

It's been 6 months since her affair with Jeremy. We are separated now, 2 months and counting, but we are attempting to repair our marriage through therapy. She did blow through all 3 strikes pretty quickly since their first meeting. But I can honestly say, that in regards to the 3 strike rule I had, she must be the exception to that rule.

I couldn't just clean cut her out of my life. Largely because we have been together for 11 years, and married for 7. I love her now just as much as the day we were married. Even though all this bad stuff has happened, I would still forgive her and work to fix what was broken. I don't just see a woman who has maintained an extramarital affair.

I see the woman I vowed to protect and stand by her side, in some form of mid-life crisis. She isn't just lashing out at me, but her friends too. I don't see the woman I married right now, but I do know she is still in there, buried deep down. I will work every waking hour to help her through whatever is going on in her head.

The way I see it, marriage isn't always going to be roses, sunshine and good times. There will be long stretches where you may not like each other, or maybe not even love each other. But the point of the vows we made were that, if and when those times come, to never give up on one another, no matter how bad things get. So, I refuse to give up. It hurts, it hurts so f\*in bad all the time, but I will not give up.

Username: Kraktusk85

Three times. I was married to the woman for three years the first time. She was using ICQ messenger and it was backing up the messages even though she tried to delete them daily. I noticed that she was closing windows and looking frustrated when I came near her on the computer but she swore it was because she was talking to girlfriends about their problems and I shouldn't be snooping. She started getting upset at me over small things, like how I mowed the yard (not that I wasn't mowing, my method annoyed her) or if I drank a Coke too many in her estimation. Everything led to a screaming fight, not me screaming but her. I felt that I was failing her but I couldn't understand how. Overall I just felt weak and powerless, tried to stay out of her "business" and let her go her own way while I tried to pick up the pieces behind her.

The first time I discovered the messages I printed them out and stormed to her class (she was a college student, I was paying of course) and confronted her in front of everyone. She managed to get me to my car where I ranted and raved, she calmed me down, cried for a while and promised to work on our marriage.

Nothing improved. She continued to swipe at me over the smallest things, putting my feet in the coffee table, sitting down to read on a warm afternoon instead of working outside, always something. She stopped using the computer so much while I was around. Then I found she had been calling him.

In fact, she had taken a trip with her business class to another State where I paid for them both to spend a weekend together. This time I went nuts. Instead of coming home from work, she went to my parents and was there crying when I stormed in.

My parents were on her side, assuming I had misunderstood something simple, but when I accused her of actually sleeping with him her tears dried up and she got indignant. I grabbed her arm and tried to pull her outside, she started screaming like I had hit her. I immediately went defensive but her arm was bruised so I was clearly in the wrong. We both agreed to take a vacation together to straighten things out, she swore she never slept with him.

She took a job in another town, quit school to take it. It paid better than I was making and she expected me to follow. I checked her computer, which she hadn't taken to her temporary hotel in the other town. The day of our last fight she had messaged him that I found out they had slept together but that nothing had changed, she was getting a promotion at work and would pay for him to come stay with her.

That was the last straw for me. I called my parents, told them that from this day on I wanted to hear nothing from her. If she called, they could tell her anything about me that she wanted, but that I didn't even want to know if she came or called. I moved out and disconnected my phone. From a payphone I called her, told her it was over and hung up. I walked away as it rang behind me and never spoke to her again.

The divorce was finalized a few months later, she got everything she asked for, I didn't bother showing up. I had finally realized that no matter how much I loved her, I could never make her happy. If I wanted her to be happy, I had to let her go. We were married 3 years, 11 months and 18 days.

Username: snarksneeze

He forgot to turn his find friends off when he was driving across the state to “visit family”. He was in a hotel room and didn’t respond to messages. He’d been accusing me of cheating for months, and honestly it was so toxic and controlling that I was already in the process of planning how to leave him.

This felt like confirmation that his accusations of my “infidelity“ were indeed projection. I never confronted him. It didn’t matter and I honestly didn’t care. I just left him and told him never to contact me again.

We had find friends on because he kept coming home completely silently and I would just feel eyes staring at me from our hallway while I was watching tv or reading or w/e. He was sneaking in to try to catch me “up to something”.

It scared the fuck out of me and literally made my chest hurt every time because I have PTSD. I told him to announce himself, but he didn’t. He started doing it just randomly when I was home and he thought he could get away with it.

Like I’d try to sleep, but a homework problem kept running through my head so I’d get up and go to the living room to work on it... then an hour later I’d feel eyes on me and I’d jump out of my skin when I realized he was actually staring from around the corner.

Then he started putting cameras in the house “for work“. Thats why you put one in our bedroom where I sleep naked? Without telling me? The fuck man. I started sleeping in the spare bedroom with the door closed creeped me the fuck out and he’d made sure that I didn’t have enough money to leave him by borrowing from me and never paying me back, and obliterating my support system. Ya know. Classic abusive behaviour.

Then I found out he was skimming my unencrypted web traffic with a router utility. Didn’t tell me. I still couldn’t leave, so I started hot spotting off cellular to avoid using the router and formatted all of my devices regularly - especially after he’d had unattended physical access to them... and barring my fucking door at night because he was scaring me with his obsessive behaviour.

I almost went to a domestic violence shelter because I was terrified of him. Instead, I ended up staying in Airbnb’s for a long time (cheap if you find a place that offers long term stay discounts). Just absolutely disgusting. Im furious when I think about the next woman he dates. I can’t help her because I’ll never know she exists, and she‘s going to be in trouble.

Edit to add that if this pisses you off, here’s what you can do: periodically check on your old friends who have fallen off the world. Don’t outright ask about abuse. See how they’re doing. Do they have people in their lives? Are they allowed to have their own money?

Their own careers and ambitions? Do they seem like they’re just tense and overall not happy with life? If so, just reach out occasionally and offer to be someone to talk to. Doing this can save someone from abuse, and help with mental health issues, because abusers will isolate you from your friends.

Be the person they feel comfortable reaching out to when they’ve had enough, because they might feel like they don’t have anyone at all other than their abuser. Check on your friends y’all

Username: [deleted]

At the 4 year mark of being with my gf, I moved a couple states away to pursue a better job opportunity while she stayed home and wrapped up some classes to be a nurse anesthetist. Things seemed fine and I even helped get her a job at a coveted hospital where I was at.

She moved out to where I was about 9 months later and all the excitement from her seemed gone. She was never thankful for me helping her out and she always seemed bitter.

A family member was getting married, so I flew across country for it. She was supposed to come, but cancelled last minute saying work wasn’t letting her go. Ok, no problem. I’ve been gone for 3 days, no call or texting from her which was weird.

Then my roommate calls and asks “where did your gf go?” Confused I tell him that she’s staying at the house and must have weird hours so they’re missing each other. No, none of the 3 roomies had seen her and my dogs were crying in the bedroom. I tell him to let the dogs out and check the closet. Opens the door to piss and crap on the floor and an empty closet. She had upped and left.

What? Why would she just leave? Especially locking our dogs in the room for days without food or water. Furious I get ahold of her parents and tell them to have her call me. Happily they exclaim that she’s moved in with her new bf in (another different state). I should add, her family and I did not get along.

Through sleuthing and from her friends that liked me more than her, turns out that soon after I moved away, she met some guy on a girls trip. They had hooked up on the trip and she was regularly going down to see him.

I came to find out that he knew of me and got a kick out of the whole thing. They almost immediately got engaged and then married after this mess. I honestly took it well cause it turns out NOBODY liked her. Friends and family came out of the woodwork to tell me how much they despised her.

Her friends came to me after to say the same in that everyone felt dirty watching her treat me like she did. I turned my life in a different direction where I started a new career and lost a ton of weight.

This is where the story gets fun. Fast forward a couple years. The new guy is in the army, so he would regularly get deployed, and now does contract work for the military overseas. The unstable ex did not handle that well at first.

They’d been married for a year and I had moved back to my home state(she had too). I get a call to come over so we can bury the hatchet. I was doing well in life, bought a house and was happy living the singles life. I say “what the hell, I’m cool with putting this behind me.” I go to their house, she lets me in and before the convo gets beyond “hello” she takes off what little clothes she has on and I am frozen.

First thing that runs through my head is, “good lord am I lucky that I escaped this nutty girl.” Then that little devil on my shoulder said, “it’s payback time”. This happened off an on for a year before I actually started dating someone and immediately called it off.

Looking back at it, I’m so very glad that I got out when I did and the experience hammers home the point of once a cheater, always a cheater. Two wrongs probably didn’t make a right, but that revenge tasted oh so sweet.

Username: RatherBeInThePond

A year ago around this time, I have everything set up with a friend to drop me at a used car dealership and pick up a car. I had been in the day before and had everything set up. When I get there, they slam me with hidden fees and I tell them I can't do it.

They keep me there for like *6 hours* before I finally start crying and leave, after guilting me and interrogating me and trying to convince me to change my insurance as well, a whole shebang. I walk out the front door and about 10 meters away is the curb.

I sit down and open my phone to call a cab or someone to help, and my phone is dead. I'm stranded in a new city with a dead phone, a messy crying face and no one to help. Enter in *the dude*. He's heading to his car, the one I happen to be sitting next to.

He sees my embarrassing face even though I'm trying to hide it. Offers me his phone, I call for help and have someone on the way. I'm ridiculously thankful and ask if I can buy him a beer sometime to thank him. I used Facebook on his phone, so he knows my name.

A few days later, he messages me on Facebook and asks where his beer is. He flirts a little, but I'm kinda dense to that stuff. Anyways, fast forward, we're in a pub and I'm buying him a beer, we're just chatting and playing pool.

He tells me all about how his 7 year long relationship has ended, how his ex is still moving out of his house, it's awkward for him but things have been okay in the following months. I understand, after also having been in a long term relationship that ended. He charms me the whole night, and we end up at his place.

Her stuff.... is everywhere. I feel bad for him. He even has her name tattooed on his knuckles. A red flag? Maybe, lmao. We don't "finish the deal" but at this point it's 3 am and I have to work at 7 AM, an hour from where we are, so I snoozed and skedaddle in the morning.

We keep up texting, I have a busy work and social life and I'm headed camping with my friend family. His message timing is really weird. My gut says something is up, after we had made plans to meet up after my camping trip and he doesn't respond the day of.

Something is weird. I don't Facebook stalk, but sometimes, like this time, it's needed. I stalk his Facebook, nothing. Old pictures of the ex, but it has nothing on his relationship and all his new profile pictures don't have her in it and such.

Anyways, I go stalk his ex's Facebook. It says they are in a relationship, and ENGAGED. I'm like. holy FUCK. I message her. "Are you engaged to so and so?" she responds, "Oh god, why?" SO, he turns out to be a cheating bastard. I mean, we did stuff, and in THEIR BED. NASTY. We'd be sexting, flirting, for WEEKS.

I tell her that this is unacceptable, and that he led me to believe that he was broken up. I tell her I'll answer any question he has, and that I can get her all the messages. I screen capped them all and sent every single one of them to her. He'd sent me nudies and vids. So yeah, she kicks him out.

Username: [deleted]

I was in my last year of grad school and reconnected with a woman I knew when I was in undergrad. She still lived in our college town, which was a few states away. We had been interested in each other in college, but she always had a boyfriend when I was single and vice versa.

Turns out we each thought of the other as "the one who got away," so when we finally connected, it was an intense, whirlwind relationship. I was very much in love. I felt like my real life was finally beginning, if that makes sense.

We were talking about getting married, picking out names for our kids. We got an apartment together in her town, and I made plans to do my last semester of grad school remotely from her state. She helped me pack up and move on New Year's Eve. We celebrated it in our new apartment.

She worked at a bookstore, and in the months before I moved to be with her, I noticed one guy's name keep popping up in her work stories. I've always had female friends, so I wasn't immediately suspicious. It's more that I held a grudge against Rich for getting to spend so much time with my girlfriend when I couldn't yet be with her.

A week after I moved, we went to a big dinner with all her work friends, and then to someone's apartment afterwards for drinks. There were probably 20 people crammed in this dumpy college town one-bedroom. The bathroom was off the bedroom, so people were hanging out all over the place, but at one point, I was chatting with one of her friends when I realized that everyone was in the living room except her and Rich.

I had to pee anyhow, so I headed towards the bedroom to see what was up. I figured they were just talking, and I would join them. The bed was tucked to the left of the door, so you couldn't see it from the living room, and the bathroom was to the right. When I reached the door, she leapt across from the bed to the bathroom, like a bird startled from the brush, and shut the door.

I turned around and EVERYONE in the apartment was staring at me, waiting to see what I was going to do. Stereo still playing, but otherwise dead silent. 17 pairs of eyes locked on me. And that's when I knew something was going on, because I realized they all knew.

I wish I could tell you that I did something awesome, that I kicked the ass of every fucker in that apartment, including punching Rich through the sliding glass window and off the balcony. But I didn't. We left the party almost as soon as she came out of the bathroom.

On the drive home she said that nothing physical happened, but that she wasn't sure how she felt. I had just spent months building my life around her, so I tried to salvage things, but it was finished within the week. I packed up my stuff, moved in with my parents (in a third state), and finished grad school remotely.

I was sad about it for a long time, but that was years ago. Writing this up, I can still remember what it felt like, but I'm a different person now, and I've met so many awesome people and had amazing experiences that I wouldn't have had if we had stayed together. I'm a pretty lucky guy. As Donald Kaufman says, "You are what you love, not what loves you."

Username: biscuit310

So this has a ton of responses so I doubt this will be read but I’m going to tell my story anyway. I had a girlfriend who was great, we were together two years and living together in an apartment before I bought a duplex when the American housing market crashed.

I didn’t want her to feel trapped or anything so I said that it was my house and I would like her to live with me but that I would pay the mortgage and bills if she would just help with utilities and food.

She lived with me for a year and started to have signs of depression, the duplex was a bit in the country and she talked about wanting to live in the city, so being the loving and trusting boyfriend I was, I moved her to an apartment in the city, including buying her furniture for her birthday and helping her move it in.

We made it clear we were still together to all friends and family. We talked daily and did weekend dates in the city as well as nights at my place since it was close to the town we both grew up in and we had a lot of mutual friends who lived near me. (The city was probably 30-45 mins away depending on traffic)

Well all our friends and us made plans to see a movie together that we all were VERY excited about coming out. She came up the day of and right before we were getting ready to go she got weird and said she was too tired to go.

I explained that she could sleep but made sure she knew I still wanted to go as we had been planning this for months and I frequently didn’t get to see this group of our friends due to work. She said that was okay as long as it was okay she didn’t go, I left. The movie was great and I had a blast, I get home and she is awake, and blind drunk.

I feel I should mention I am a police officer who specializes in interviewing (usually pedophiles) and I don’t drink but I do have a very nice bottle of whiskey above my fridge for the days when I need to come home and have two fingers with a BIG meal before bed (not drunk but also no nightmares that way.) well, she had drank it all. I was a little upset about that but mostly just concerned, who gets super drunk by themselves when they could go out with their loving boyfriend and friends? Well I pride myself on not brining work into my personal life but the interrogator in my head went “hey dumb dumb, somethings wrong, figure it out.”

Some pro tips for anyone who is still reading. When asking someone a yes or no question, anything that isn’t a “yes” or a “no” is the bad answer.

Example: “did you kill that man?”
“No.”
“Did you kill that man?”
“Well, last week I went to the store...”

First it was that she kissed someone else, then when I pressed she admitted the full nasty details.
I am not a big crier, it’s good if people do but it’s just not something I do well (hello childhood trauma) so tears came from my eyes for the first time in our relationship and she goes to comfort me.

I said “oh no, you don’t get to do that anymore.” That really helped it hit home for her I think. I called her a cab and paid for her to leave, she tried to pay and I informed her “I’m the one who wants you gone, I’m happy to pay.” No excuse for cheating.

Username: knowledgekills12

Having been with my ex for 8 years I knew her reactions and movements well. We always had a very close and attentive relationship. Ok what I mean is she was ALWAYS UP MY ASS. She would complain about money so I began teaching a technical course at night after work.

My teaching job was to become full time after about 6 months. We moved to a place close to beaches and closer to our jobs. It was all supposed to balance out our work/ lives.

I noticed during the move she always had an excuse as to why she couldn't help. So over the course of a month I moved our entire 2400 sqft home my myself. Then I noticed she would be on her phone EVERY FREE MOMENT. As a former special operator I learned to pay attention to body language.

Hers was guarded when she was on her phone. Meaning 8 years into our relationship she began hiding her screen. Not before I caught the Instagram logo. When she was see me turn to her I noticed she back out of what screen she was on and pretend she was scrolling through pictures. So I took a step back and observed.

She would pick fights over nothing, invite me to something then find an excuse to leave before I got home, go out with me and spend no time with me. Started spending unusual amounts of time at the home of a couple I'd introduced her to, ignore me and talk to the guy when out, constantly leaving my line of sight with "ill be right back" 30 mins later shes back for 10 mins then gone again...so is he.

So I got into her Instagram and watched her messaging with the guy, reading how he loved kissing her etc. For weeks I just watched her and pretended to know nothing while seeing how much she'd lie to me about everything.

One day I woke up, logged into her Instagram and watched the messages fly back and fourth. Walked out to the living room, she guards her screen (the new normal) I sit next to her and she keeps at her phone and says not one word to me.

I state she needs to put her phone down and that we needed to talk. I just wanted to see her reaction. I looked at her hard. And said I needed a moment and walked away. Logged back into her Instagram and watched the panicked messages fly between them.

I walk back out to her and sit down. I'm completely calm the whole time. I tell her than I know she's fucking around with that guy. Of course she tries lying to me. I don't tell her how I know and I am purposely vague with the facts I give her.

She tries to lie more and I then shut her down with another fact. I tell her that I will let it all go of she stops what she's been doing. Crying she says ok. Then goes to the bathroom and starts messaging him again!! Lol I couldn't believe it. She comes out and I tell her that I couldn't believe it took her less than 30 mins to betray me again. I then ended our 8 year relationship. She was somehow surprised.

She afterwards pursues a relationship with the guy, he cheats on her about everyday. Knocks up my ex, moves to upstate ny with her after the baby is born, then bails on her. She now in her 30s is living back home with her parents. Blames everyone but herself for how her life has turned out.

Username: quikjester23

So we started mutually hanging out with this girl, and he was like way more a proponent of liking this woman than I was. He started to get distant and our phone convos felt weird. One day the two of them come to pick me up, we go to get gas, and she calls him “baby.”

At that point I just fucking knew. I told them drop me off at the next turn and he came out and begged, tears streaming for me to stay with him. After I refused and they left, they starting blasting all our friends saying I was a psycho. It turns out she’s been texting her friends saying, “I’m gonna steal him” since we first met.

Later when I called him she answered the phone and told me to kill myself, she said she was sitting listening to all our phone calls previous to the event and laughing at me. No one likes you she said, just die. Right after the incident I ran into them in a parking lot, she noticed my car, frenched him and texted me go die ;).

A few weeks later he messaged me on Facebook saying he’d made a huge mistake and he wanted me back. Well, he beat me regularly, held a knife to my throat, and spit on me and the break up had given me the courage to go to the police. After he was locked up, she came to visit him with drugs in her car and got locked up too.

Lol. I’d say it was karma but immediately after that they got revenge. A long while ago he told me his mom had given him a gold bracelet to sell. We got to the shop and he said he didn’t have his ID, could I sell it? Being naive and abused I did it and believed him. Well after I had him locked away his mom (who was on drug court for crack) called the police and said I burglarized her home for the bracelet and sold it.

They couldn’t prove the burglary but since my name and ID had been used to sell the bracelet they arrested me. No matter what was on record about me testifying and having him locked up, they just didn’t care. We tried to get the gold shop to fork over the video showing he was with me, but they said they didn’t have it anymore.

I was pressured, bullied, and afraid so I took a plea deal for felony “theft by receiving.” I got five years of probation, and this felon label will haunt me until I die. This is an extreme trauma for me. I even went to court to try to end probation early and the prosecutor said he’d called the “victim” and she claimed her $3000 restitution (we got $30 for the bracelet) was late or not paid in full.

Here’s the kicker- I paid the state, not her. Every month on time, on record. The judge didn’t even question it and I was comatose for like a day. I will NEVER EVER forgive our justice system and those who play a part in the systemic oppression of the poor and abused.

Oh and funny note, years later I saw her at a mommy/kid dance lesson for toddlers. She had a kid with some other dude who is also in jail now. Bitch didn’t even dare to say a word. We just silently attended the class, cause I won’t be the lesser person with my then toddler in tow. And she got fat. So. This was about ten years ago and I’m happy and healthy now. It’s a deep scar but I hope they both live with their misery.

Username: FayeRebus

Watched ex-husband pull into the underground garage after returning from an appointment. He didn’t come up to our condo for about 45 minutes, quite unusual but didn’t think much of it. The next day, I get into the vehicle and the radio is turned off. Now I am starting to add things up.

As I was off on maternity leave with two babies (daughter and son were born ten months apart) I would call him towards the end of the day to see if he could pick a few groceries up on his way home. I would sometimes get the busy signal for an hour or longer. Odd, as he is a professional driver and you cannot talk and drive on a cell phone in our province. This goes on for a few days, I say nothing.

On the Friday, he leaves for work and I call our cellphone provider and ask for the five most frequented numbers from his phone. As our cellular phones are in my name, I can get this information.

Not surprisingly an unfamiliar number is the most popular. So I call it, a woman answers; I ask her who she is and what is she doing with my husband. Then I call my ex, tell him he's been caught and that he should probably come home as soon as possible.

An hour passes, I have packed all of his belongings in suitcases and bags. I can see from our suite that he is pulling into the garage and take our babies down the hall to a friend’s. Even though they were both under a year, I didn’t want them to see or hear anything.

My ex comes into our suite, I tell him that he can take his things and leave. He can have visitations with the children on weekends but that our marriage was done.

He starts crying and begging. Explaining that they haven’t had sex, they are just friends who go out when he needs a break. In my opinion this made the situation so much worse. As I was at home with two babies 24/7, he needed a break?? I explained to him that in my eyes, not only did he cheat on me, but more so on our children as he was never present.

In the end, she was a co-worker with no responsibilities. She was my age (mid-30) lived at home with her parents, never had a relationship, talked about traveling the world and all this other bs. My ex moved into her parent’s house and our children and I didn’t hear or see him for 18 months.

Now the children are ten and nine, they see their father every Sunday for four hours. He has aged considerably, has no relationships with his children (all four, two adults from his first marriage and ours) and is stuck in a relationship with the skank as he has no other options.

I cannot say it has been easy. I have had my moments where I think I ruined my children’s relationship with their father. But honestly, I would 100% make the same decision. I rely on our family and friends to provide my children with a father figure. All in all, he was selfish and didn’t want the responsibilities of being a father again. Our children deserve better, I deserve better.

Who’s happier now Steve? A fifty-three year old who cannot pay child support, lost not one but two good paying jobs and rents a basement suite with his immature skank.

Username: saywhatyouwant22

December 23rd 2018, I was about to make a dessert for Christmas with his family, I took a picture with his phone of the recipe weeks prior(my phone was dead or something, idk. He never sent it to me, so he went to take a nap around 5 or 6pm, and I walked in the room a fee minutes later as he was half asleep.

I said, "hey, gonna use your phone for that recipe" as I took his phone and started walking away. We knew each others passwords, so not suspicious. But he instantly got up and started following me saying "I'll get it, let me get it" but I already had his phone open and gave him a look like, 'why? I know how to open photos' as I did so and scrolled, I found a picture of a girl in a bra from the neck to belly button that wasn't me.

I said, "who is this?" Without showing him and he said it was a girl he met online, then it was a girl he knew from before me(we had been together nearly 4 years and he had JUST gotten a new phone about 3 or 4 weeks prior) and so I with held his phone and continued to look at pictures, then texts and I read them out to him.

He stormed off into our spare bedroom, i took pictures of all the numbers In his phone with my phone, I went to the room he was in, screaming and crying (I cry when I yell and I was upset) asking him, why, how long, etc etc. He continued to lie and give me JUST enough info.

I ended up having a panic attack in the master bedroom alone and called a friend and she came to pick me up and took me to dinner she was having with a friend. I took his old phone and showed her what was on that. I messaged all the girls saying hey, he has a gf, sorry if you're still dating him (I was weirdly polite and calm with them.

Which I'm glad I was, it wasn't their fault he said he was single) every one was apologetic and understanding and told me everything I wanted to know. Except one girl. His current girlfriend at the time, she basically said I was lying, and that I just wanted him back and I explained I just wanted her to know who she was getting involved with. I even offered to meet up with her to share my side.
She wasn't interested. After I caught him he was a completely different person and was shocked I wanted the keys to the house. It's been a year and a half and they are now engaged. A year into our relationship I got chlamydia, but was dumb and accepted what he told me, how one of us must have had it from someone else before we became official.

Obviously was still seeing other people and it took me 3 rounds of antibiotics to get rid of. He had 1 round. I have proof that at the 2 year mark when we moved in together is when he started dating atleast 2-4 girls a month for the next 2 years.

Fucking on average 1 girl a month. He started dating his current girlfriend in the beginning of September and told her we were just living together while waiting for our lease to end(we renewed our lease October 1st) he also told me he was going to break up with me after Christmas in January.

Anyone want his old phone? I still have it in my locker at work for some reason? I should have known better. His name is Brad.

Username: Meguin91