Bullies rule the schoolyard. But once we all grow up and enter the real world...
sometimes their cruelty comes back to haunt them.
Here are the most utterly satisfying times that former bullies got their just desserts.
My buddy and I pulled a prank on a bully (Adam) during the last two weeks of high school.
We were hanging out at home playing video games and Adam surprised us by stopping by (under the guise of wanting to "be friends," despite having picked on us for the better part of four years, and one time, stabbing me with a pencil.)
Within about 5 minutes, he was pressuring me to write his final assignment for him. A speech for Debate class. At first I said no (I mean, what is this, some comic book cliché? What will he demand next, my milk money too?) But my buddy kept winking at me, putting the pressure on, and convinced me that we should do it.
After some "negotiation" we agreed to put together a speech for him, but only if Adam would pay us $25, and also pick up a (rather elaborate) dinner order from Wendy's for us to eat that night. He agreed. My buddy and I ate well that night. And we had a plan.
What we actually gave Adam was a quickly and pretty poorly written (and somewhat incendiary) speech about the "silliness of Martin Luther King Day" and how, "if America really wanted to celebrate a true hero, it would instead be Joe Namath Day."
I'm serious. That's what we wrote. We honestly believed Adam would read this at home, realize he'd been had, and be forced to re-write and memorize a new speech in the wee hours of the night.
Except it didn't go down that way. Imagine my surprise when Adam actually delivered that very speech in class the next day. He didn't have the memorization down, he kept referencing his papers, but he marched on. And the look on our teacher's face was just priceless. I think I peed my pants, I was giggling so hard.
The other kids in the classroom were in shock. As I recall, the teacher made Adam stop his presentation. She told him to leave the classroom and she yelled at him in the hallway.
As far as I know, Adam never fessed up that he hadn't actually written that paper, and I'm still not quite sure he ever really figured out just how brilliantly he'd been played.
I grew up in a small town. We had one girl everyone thought was "the prettiest girl in the whole wide school"
She was a mean, petty bitch. Truly awful.
For example, my cat died when I was in 5th grade. She sat behind me muttering about how funny it was that my cat died, that he was a stupid cat, that he died because my mom was too poor to take him to the vet, and urging me to cry.
"Are you gonna cry? Are you gonna cry about it? Like a big baby? Big baby cry over your stupid cat? Everyone's gonna see you cry. You're about to cry aren't you.." - and so on.
This wasn't even the meanest thing she did. And she was mean to everyone.
One day in 6th grade, I'd had enough. She didn't even do anything truly awful I was just like "f**k Jennifer G" and decided to do something about her.
I stole one of my mom's little index/recipe cards and meticulously wrote "I STUFF MY BRA" in big bold letters. I stuffed that and a little gold safety pin in my jacket pocket.
The next day I carefully affixed this to the back of her pink Members Only jacket just before first bell rang.
She walked around with this damn note on all day. Confused as to why people were laughing at her.
She screamed and screamed when she found it. And she cried. Everyone saw her cry.
I was bullied heavily in middle school. I wrestled in high school. At a competition, I found I had to wrestle Josh. He was one of those bullies. I knew I could pin him (auto win).
Told my coach about him, and my goal wasn't to pin him, but to hurt him as long as possible.
Wrestling match starts, I do every move I can think of that hurts. Didn't try to get him on his back, just kept "trying" to and jacking up his arms, shoulders.
Took a couple shots and checked his crotch with my shoulder since he wasn't wearing a cup.
I did the full 6 minutes and won 12-1 on points. He cried.
Entire team went ballistic. Coach had told them he used to bully me and they were cheering me on so hard.
Felt like the f**king king of the world.
I walked off to my team. He limped off to the athletic trainer.
I was in 4th grade and had been bullied by a kid named Rocky, swear to God that was his name lol, who was in 6th grade.
Any way he would trip me, knock books out of my hands, punch me etc....
One day out on the playground he pushed me into the merry go round while it was spinning,
I was rolled around inside it while people were trying to stop it. The whole time he's laughing at me.
I get pulled out and I'm scraped up pretty good, get taken to the office to get patched up. Teachers ask what happened, I told them I fell.
Went back outside and saw him standing there with his buddies, I ran as fast as I could toward him and punched him as hard as I could in the face,
broke his nose and just stood there looking at him ready to fight.
His buddies told him to leave me alone and I never got picked on again at school.
After I finished high school a girl who bullied me relentlessly for years messaged me on Facebook saying a bunch of awful things
(Facebook was new at the time -we all added anyone we knew).
I just screenshotted the messages and posted them to her wall.
Then a bunch of her friends messaged me asking if I was ok.
I got my revenge and didn't have to stoop to her level.
A kid that bullied me in high school ended up addicted to crack or meth, not sure which. I saw him 10 years later as I was leaving a drive through and yelled his last name.
He turned and I saw the scratch marks on his face and a big burn type gash in the middle of his lip. I asked him what had happened and he told me he got kicked out of his home.
Instead of laughing at him or belittling him, I handed him the bag of food I just bought for myself as well as my cigarettes.
He almost cried because according to him "never in a million years would I have thought that after all the shit I put you through, that you'd help". I told him we were stupid kids and shit happens.
I visited him once a week and just talked with him and kept telling him to get off the drugs. I moved away a short time after that so I didn't know what had happened to him.
One day, I got a friend request from him on facebook, he kicked the drug habit and was working as a barista for one of those corner coffee shops. He is now married and living a life worth living.
At the end of the day, no matter how much grief he put me through, he was his own worst enemy and anything I could've done to him or said to him was nothing compared to what he did to himself.
I'm glad he's better and living a better life.
Not my bully, but my best friend's. Kinda kept in touch with the entire high school class through Facebook once it came out.
This asshat asks if he can use me as a reference because we got similar degrees and ended up in the second field.
Adult him seems like a sham. It's all fake. My high school best friend moved to Europe because of this guy.
He can't change that much. So I agree to meet him for drinks and see if he changed.
10 minutes into the meetup and he's telling me about cheating on his wife with girls right out of high school.
So, of course, I said yes. Only had 3 calls I guess before he caught on, but I made sure I told the truth. :)
I graduated from high school in the '80's. I had grown up poor but when my mom remarried, she married a guy who did well for himself so when we moved into his house, I was a poor kid suddenly going to a school full of rich kids.
One of them in particular was a girl who was really stuck up and such a bitch. She had a very imperious attitude and generous parents while my mom, there was no way she was going to allow us to behave that way.
About 6 years after high school graduation I'd dropped out of college, was living on my own in a tiny apartment and working as a waitress. Of all people to show up at the restaurant and be seated in my section.
I asked a couple of waitresses to take the table but they were busy. Finally I realized what I would do.
I would take on the role of my life. Win an Academy Award. I went to the table and pretended I'd never met her before in my life.
She kept insisting I must remember her, right? She kept saying her name and I nailed the performance. "I'm so sorry, I just don't...no...I, uh...I'm trying. I believe you, yes, I went to that school but I am SO sorry, I don't remember you" and so on.
She was flabbergasted. I kept overhearing her say to the people she was with "I can't believe she doesn't remember me."
That day I learned that to be forgotten is, for some, the ultimate slap in the face.
I hate the term bully in this context, but a former man-child neighbor had issues understanding that it wasn't okay to throw his garbage in my yard, or let his drunk friends piss on my house.
When the county cops didn't do anything about numerous calls, i started bagging the garbage and throwing it on his porch.
He escalated to putting rat poison in hot dogs and throwing them to my german shepherd mix. I saw her convulsing, and found three packages worth of hot dogs studded with pellets right along the fence.
She pulled through, no worse for wear. Cops said i couldn't prove who did it.
So the next time he threw garbage in my yard, which usually contained the guts/waste from his hunting and fishing, i gathered fish guts into a bag, waited until he left, and put them in the rafters of his porch, under the hedges in his yard, and finally inside his air conditioner unit.
About three days later he had all the doors and windows open.
The following week he was having the carpet replaced throughout the house.
Eventually the guts rotted away and the smell faded, but i think he knew i did it, because i never found trash in my yard again.
Do not f**k with my dogs.
Not really a bully so much, but I was working at my university in the Division of Student Life as a GA, and had worked myself into a great position where people trusted me and relied on my advice.
One night at a big party at a local university bar, I had the craving for a cigarette.
I asked this group of girls if they had one, and being one to not bum straight up, I offered a coupon I had for free McDonald's fries if someone would give me one.
One of the cuter girls there with a pink stripe in her hair said yes, pulled out her cigs, and I gave her the coupon. She then put her cigs back in her pocket and told me to "f**k off" after stealing my fry coupon.
I was pissed off at this point and tried reasoning with her (seriously, over one cigarette?).
She then called over a couple of guy friends and said that I was falsely accusing her of stealing from me, and her friends all backed her up. She looked me in the eyes and said "you shouldn't be so trusting."
Fast forward to Monday - we had job interviews for the division and I happened to be passing through replacing a computer.
I also happened to see the same pink-stripe-in-hair individual that had stolen the McDonald's coupon from me the week before in line. I went to the person conducting the interviews and told him that she was a thief and a liar. On my way out, I smiled and waved. She didn't recognize me.
She didn't get the job, and the interviewer thanked me for my contribution to the interview process.
When I was about 7 years old, there was a girl on the bus who would pull my hair and pick on me.
I would come home crying. My parents asked the driver to move our assigned seating but they refused.
My dad asked me how I could fix the problem. I responded "How can I do anything if I'm not allowed to hit?" (As was the rule).
Dad: You're not allowed to hit, but you're allowed to not get hit.
He explained what I should do and I did it.
When the girl sat next to me, I should put my back against the wall, my feet on her thigh and slide her off the seat.
She fell, cried, I got in trouble and the assigned seating was moved. Problem solved.
Apologies for the formatting, as I am currently on mobile.
I told him if he told me to kill myself one more time I'd punch him in the face.
He didn't believe me and told me to go kill myself.
I punched him in the face, broke his glasses and give him a nosebleed and he never spoke to me again.
My dentist told me a story about his bully. Just after he opened his practice, he made an emergency appointment because of a cracked tooth.
The dentist recognised him, but the bully didn’t.
Bully got in the chair, dentist said “open wide” and started examining him. Then he said “you don’t recognise me do you?”
Bully said “no” the best he could with the dentists tools in his mouth.
“You used to bully me at school. You made my life hell”
Perfect timing.
The bully apologised and the dentist repaired his tooth.
But imagine how he felt for those few seconds being absolutely powerless.
In my secondary school, when you were about to leave, you'd wear your school uniform shirt on the last day and people would sign it for you.
There was also an option to wear your own clothes for the last few days.
So this guy who was leaving came decked out in the best of 1980's sports fashion,
wielding a permanent marker and instead of signing the shirts of leavers he went around scribbling on the shirts of kids who were younger.
Now bear in mind we were pretty poor, and if I came home with my uniform in a mess I'd get grief because we couldn't afford to replace it.
He grabbed me and scribbled all over my shirt and somehow, using as yet unknown quicksilver powers,
I grabbed the marker off him and managed to scribble not only all over his Sergio Douchebag windbreaker,
but all over his face and neck.
He punched me in the tit (am a girl) but it was worth it.
Two random strangers came during a bullying session in a public place, and they punched my bully (for some time) while calling me their friend.
His entire class was afraid of me after that. I still don't know who my saviors were. But, thank you!
Well my revenge took place years after the bullying but let me tell ya, the feeling was magnificent.
I was driving one night and I got rear-ended.
This took me by surprise simply because this was at 3 in the morning and I was the only vehicle on the road at this time in this area. Or so I thought.
Turns out he was driving drunk, and I just so happened to have "neck pains" and "trouble sleeping due to the traumatic event".
I was able to sue him for enough to pay medical, my vehicle, and a little extra pocket money.
That's what you f**king get for pushing me into the locker, Chad.
I learned how to fight, then beat the hell out of him.
He left me alone from then on.
Got in trouble with the school, but when they called my dad to tell him I was fighting, he said
"Yeah, I bet. I paid for the lessons. Was it that little s**t who's been bullying him?"
I did not get in trouble at home.
I had a friend who had a bully. He had a locker above my friend and would intentionally drop books on her head, push her around, insult her throughout the year, and we all had a class together where he was generally a dick to anyone that he could.
Before class started and anyone else was in class yet, the teacher had to step out for a bit, and it was just us three in the room.
My friend was and still is very tiny but that day, it didn't matter.
She snapped and had enough of his shit and went on the attack. I don't think she could have done much damage on her own, but I stepped in.
Puberty was swift for me and I was one of the largest kids in school;
by 5th grade I was already the size of an adult woman. I pinned him to the wall and let my friend kick the s**t out of him and punch him in the balls.
He didn't speak to either of us after that, and we never got into any trouble.
I don't think he wanted to tell anyone that he got beat up by a couple of girls.
Got bullied by this girl in high school for being fat. Lost 100 pounds after I graduated.
I looked completely different. Even some family who didn't see me during the process didn't recognize me.
I ran into this girl again two years after high school at starbucks. She started a convo with me as we were stuck at the same table together in a busy starbucks.
We talked, a week later we boned.
And then I added her on Facebook to show her who I was. She just banged the fat kid she grew up bullying.
Not your traditional revenge. But hey, banging my old bully is worth something right? Haha
In junior high some little s**t was always picking on me and one day I was really mad about something else going on at home so when he came up to me,
I hit him in the face with the heel of my gym shoe, broke his nose and a few teeth,
teacher gave me a lecture but no punishment, he didn't bother me again so it was worth it.
Sophomores in high school, Eric* kept a Gatorade in the side pocket of his book bag for lunch every day.
Just before second period would start, Eric would put his bag down in class and go to the bathroom.
When he would come back, his Gatorade was always empty.
This went on for about two weeks and no one would ever tell him who it was.
When finally one day he came back from the bathroom to another kid running out of the room wretching and holding his pants.
Apparently, Eric had had enough of his Gatorade being taken and had put a few drops (half a bottle) of Visine in the Gatorade before he came to school.
The kid had to be admitted to hospital a few days later for dehydration from so much throwing up/diarrhea from the Visine.
Eric finally knew who it was and no one drank his Gatorade anymore.
*name changed
She gave me my order at Dairy Queen. She asked how I was doing and I told her:
Getting a mortgage, engaged, about to graduate with a BS...
Asked her how she was doing.
"Well... I'm here, so..."
It was deliciously awkward.