People Are Telling All About the Worst Times They've Walked in on Someone (or Been Walked in On)

So, for starters I am Deaf/HoH. This is important to remember. So like 5-6 years ago my mom was in the hospital (she passed away) like she had been for weeks, since she was recently operated from cancer. She shared the room with another lady.

The other woman was pretty loud & demanding, so much that even I could hear her sometimes shouting and stuff. So one day I am there seated playing bejewelled in my phone, I think, and her son and daughter are near her bed, and I am in my chair doing my thing, but occasionally look at them because they were kind of shouting at her and crying.

I thought maybe they were having some argument or something. I shrugged and continued playing. Like 15 minutes later my mom asked me to move her, that she wanted to get out of the room.

I complied grudgingly because my mom was in a state in which moving was the last thing she needed, and when we were outside the room, she looked at me kind of worried, and told me, that woman has just died, and that it was better if we were outside to let her family say their final goodbyes. And I was like WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Someone died 2 meters away from me, and I was playing in my phone and didn't even notice, and no one, not one nurse or doctor or anything was called or what. I didn't notice anything. I know I am deaf and somewhat absentminded but come on...

I asked my mom and she very calmly (she had worked in a hospital for 35+years) told me that the doctors in the morning had told their family that she was going to die today or the next day.

She didn't tell me beforehand because she didn't want to make me anxious and because there were shortages of beds and rooms and we couldn't move to another room, so there was nothing to do except wait for the woman to die. I started crying right there. Nearly in hysterics. I think I was thinking about my mom and her illness and how sudden everything was. I don't know, but I think I was in shock.

We walked a bit (my mom really shouldn't have had to be out of bed. She was very ill herself). And two hours later we came back, and the bed was clean, and the woman and and family gone. A few hours later a new lady took that same bed (everything was cleaned beforehand).

And that was all. Some months later my mom died, and at least we were alone with her and there were no strangers in our room playing with their phones. It's still really weird when I think about that day. And kinda sad.

Username: reinadeluniverso

I saw a mother pick up her 4 year old son, body slam him on the concrete, and run off while he tried to chase after her. Background: I worked at a summer camp this past summer with preschool/kindergarten aged kids.

We had one little boy, about 4 years old, who was going through that “cling to mom” phase where he’d grab at her and cry every morning when he was dropped off for camp. He was very persistent, and even with our assistance it usually took his mother upwards of 15-20 minutes to drop him off and leave.

After a week of this going on, we began to notice it wearing on the mother. She seemed more snippy with the staff, started trying to push her child off her when he clung, and would try to “drop and dash” him with us while he wasn’t looking. The day before this fateful event my coworker was speaking to the mom, and the mother said in passing “I could just kill him, I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

The next day they come in, and she’s obviously annoyed. He’s already whining and grabbing at her, but we’re used to it, so we go to try and pry him off her. He’s stubborn and keeps clinging, meanwhile mom is trying very hard now to get her child off her so she can go.

She keeps shouting “this is ridiculous, I’m going to be late for work!” As if her 4 year old knows what that even means. She frees herself and moves to leave, and he jumps back into her arms. This is where it got crazy.

This has all been happening in the middle of opening ceremony; the whole camp is present, and there are even parents watching. When her son jumps into her arms, she simply stands up, grabs him by the torso, and full force slams him onto the concrete.

There was an audible “smack!” And he looks stunned. Then she bolts. I was maybe 4 feet away from them when this happened, nearly all of staff and multiple parents see the whole thing.

Chaos of course ensues, the little boy absolutely flips his lid and tries to chase after her. She’s long gone of course, so me and my coworkers have to form a body wall to coral this kid and then hold him back so he can’t run off. It was terrible.

I have never seen a mother treat her child so callously. I went back to my room and cried, then went to the camp director so we could go about filing a report with CPS. I don’t know what ever happened after that, but he came back to camp for 2 more weeks after that.

Username: Mediocre-banana

Not me but my uncle's kind of recent story. And sorry about my English, not my first language. My uncle owns a restaurant and he's there every day to run the till, and do some admin work.

One day, a waitress (let's call her Sue) came to my uncle and said that another waitress (let's call this one Martha) was feeling very sick. He said she should go see a doctor and it was absolutely fine for her to leave and didn't think a lot about it because it's usually something minor. Well, it wasn't.

Sue goes to the toilet to help her because she locked herself in there. Sue comes to my uncle and says she's bleeding. My uncle freaks out and says he's calling the ambulance.

Sue comes back from a secons trip to the toilet saying that Martha says it's fine and she's just changing clothes and asked for a bag for the bloody trousers and that she'll take a cab home. My uncle says -no way, I'm taking you to the hospital- as he calls a cab.

He is insisting she doesn't want to go and then he realises she must be uhh uncomfortable with him. He asks if it's ok if Sue goes with her instead. She says yes, they hop in a cab and go to the hospital.

Around 2 hours later the police is at the restaurant. Forensics. They need to investigate the toilet. My uncle is now completely confused about wtf happened. The police now walks up to him after examining the scene and tell him what happened.

Apparently, Martha was pregnant. NO ONE NOTICED. She was chubby and hid it really well with her clothes and by strapping something tight to compress the belly. Earlier that day, when she started saying she wasn't feeling very well, she was actually in labor.

She tried to get the sick leave asap but she started to bleed. Things started to move faster and she needed to do something about it. She says she'll change clothes and locks herself in the toilet. At this moment, she's by herself, in a restaurant's toiled delivering a baby. She manages to actually deliver by herself.

But that's not the most fucked up thing. She couldn't have the baby. She didn't want it. We don't know what kind of desperation led her to do this. What she did after she get the baby out? She chokes it to death with a sock so it doesn't make any noise.

The she wraps it in her bloody clothes before getting into the cab. She got discovered in the hospital when the doctors noticed she showed signs of being pregnant and to just have delivered a bloody baby by herself and they call the police. They find the remains of the baby in the bag with her work clothes and arrest her.

This is really fucked up because of many reasons. The whole baby thing and the arrest. She comes from a very poor and religious family. We don't know what led her to this, some say cruelty, I say desperation.

Username: fVelucci

I don't know if it's something really fucked up, but I lived in Vancouver for a year back in 2008 and I was 20,I was at the ferry quay that leads to downtown Vancouver,it was a Saturday night like 12:00 am, and there's an godawful public restroom near the boarding deck and I was like "fuck it, I need to go" the bus is gonna take a while so I step in and hear a girl or what sounded like a teenager on a thin line between a muffled moaning and screaming in despair,I turn around weirded out and I see four legs shoving around.

I finish up(really really fast) the bathroom cubicle door or whatever it's called was slightly opened and I see what it looked like a junior high school with her moth covered with a hand and the guy behind her screams "fuck off!", repeatedly and really loud! and the girl looks like she's stoned or something, I swear to god she didn't looked 18 and the guy looked like he was in his late 20's, I immediately rush over to look for nearest cop or guard, there weren't any around, there were some cab drivers around, then I look inside a near Mcdonalds, nothing, I rush to the cab drivers tell them about in a really disturbing way, two of them come forward and ask me to point where they were.

Now I'm with two camboidian cab drivers and pull the door, there were some shuffling going on and the guys pull the late 20 year old guy away(he was still at it) and one of them holds him down and the girl is on her knees throws a sock of her mouth starts kicking the late 20's guy the other guy holds the girl and the girl screams in a freaking disturbing way (I wouldn't ask why).

The police comes over,arrests the loser, me and the cab drivers make our statements as the first witnesses, and since I'm not a Canadian citizen so I couldn't testify in court, but I realized the girl also had several knife cuts on the left ab and a deep cut beside her left leg near the buttock.

Few years later I got a letter(yes a BIG letter on the mail box) from the family saying thank you, as it turns out the girl was also not living with her parents there, she was living with her uncle and aunt and she got lost on her way to north van after coming from a party, and this weirdo pointed her to the ferry, and indeed she was 16 at the time and the guy's facing 120 years Jail time with no bail charged with larceny,rape and attempted murder.

Username: dryo

Two hour recess at high school, everybody was outside the school in a park or in a pub. I decided to go back to the classroom a bit earlier, my friend decided he will tag along just a few meters behind me.

When I walked into the classroom it seemed empty. But on the left the room goes about a half meter in in and L shape and then the wall continues straight. My spot was on the other side of the class by a window.

When I walked there and turned I saw a friend of mine sitting on a chair in that L shaped corner with his girlfriend on top of him. Both smiling, both clothed (well to be precise her pants from the back were pretty low and his from the front were were on his knees).

We all smiled, greeted each other and I was about to go sit down when I noticed their pants. Now after a second of holding back my laughter I decided to step out and let them finish.

All good, I'm leaving the classroom and meet my friend who was following behind in the door. I suggest to leave, now here it went a bit weird. My friend decided to walk into the classroom while I was trying to make him not to walk in but oh man he did go in.

My friend crossed the classroom sat down and didn't notice two people doing their business on the other side of the class hiding. I was half dead by the amusement this situation brought to me at this point.

Once again I standing at the door asked him to go outside but instead he called me over that he has something to show me first. So I walked in yet again, he showed me some pictures from a game he was playing and I tried to run away from to the classroom originally.

Once more I urged him to leave, now lost for suggestions I straight away pointed to other people in class hoping he realizes and leaves with me.

So I'm again leaving the classroom but my friend instead of following me decided to start a conversation with the couple not noticing their pants (for his defence it wasn't that easy to notice right of the bat because of tables). There a conversation about how they are doing and why did we not meet them outside and the best one was when he asked the shag boy to walk outside with us.

I was losing it at that point, the couple was laughing hard, the girl was basically dying laughing too much and our clueless friend? He was pretty satisfied that he got so much laughter out of all of us with his single joke.

Well, I went in again, grabbed him around his head, whispered him they are having their time so we should leave, doing this I turned towards the window (our backs to the couple) and forced my friend too. Seeing it was almost time for the classmates to pour into the classroom the couple decided to put on their clothes when I we wanted to leave.

So there we stood, I holding my idiotic friend so he doesn't turn around because of another joke (thought ifnally knowing what was happeneing) and the couple putting on their clothes while laughing as hell. I managed to leave the room with the friend and let them properly adjust themselves eventually.

I was bursting in laughter in the hall and when I met the girl heading towards ladies room we were both completely red and laughing.

Username: viksl

Not me, but the daughter of someone I know walked in on a family friend fucking their dog. Story time!... This guy is a very good customer of mine. Good enough that I've been to his house and met his family. His daughter is about 14 years old and goes to school just down the block from their house.

She leaves school during her lunch because she realizes she forgot something at home. When she gets home the front door was unlocked, so she assumed someone else was home. She goes looking through the house for whoever it was, and she heads down to the furnished basement which the family uses as a lounge.

She then witnesses her dog laying on the carpet with a grown man on the dog with his pants down thrusting his hips. She screams and runs upstairs because she thinks some burglar has broken in and is now sexually assaulting the family pet.

She runs to a neighbor's house and they allow her to call the cops. By the time they arrive the suspect is gone, and they find the dog hiding in a dark corner and crapping itself all over the place.

This girl's father works nearby and he's returning to the office from his lunch break. One of his coworkers who is a very good family friend stops him in the hall and says that he stopped by his house during his lunch break to take a shower (weird already) and he think he might have frightened his daughter, and he said he wanted to explain himself before she got to him and claimed he was just walking around their home with his pants off for no reason.

The father is feeling a little strange about that, so he calls his daughter and she explains that she's at the house with the cops. He goes home to see what's happening and his daughter explains everything. The father tells the cops what his coworker told him, and the cops go to arrest him.

They take him in for questioning and he claims he went to their house to take a shower. He says he had spilled something on his pants during his lunch break. Meanwhile his pants were completely clean, and he could have easily went to his own house to take a shower since he lives nearby.

A veterinarian examines the family dog and finds that it was indeed sodomized by something, but finds no foreign body fluids. The guy's lawyer shows up and gets him released for the time being since there's no real physical evidence to connect him to the crime.

Later in court his lawyer argues that since there's no physical evidence and the daughter couldn't positively identify him at the scene, then all the court can conclude is that the dog was sexually assaulted and he took a shower.

But not that he is the attacker.This dog sodomite still lives in our small town and still goes around pretending we don't know what he did.

Username: KicksButtson

I walked in on my boss jerking off. But you'll have to convince me to tell the story because I doubt anyone will see this so late.

Enough demand so here it goes: Okay, so I used to run sound for a company that would travel the country. The company would pay for all of the travel expenses, food and housing. It was a cool job, but unfortunately, the owner of the company was a total, self absorbed arrogant dick, who could say or do nothing wrong.

He would bark orders and curse everyone out and tell them how to do their job. He was a terrible leader, and everyone loved ripping on him for it. So my first weekend working was in VA. We stayed at a crusty hotel, 2 to a room (with 2 beds).

The rooms were elgongated rectangular shapes, and there was sort of a corridor you had to walk through past the bathroom before you got to the beds/tv etc. This will make sense later. Of all people to share a room with, I get stuck with the asshole of a boss that I mentioned before.

So day 1 wraps up, we go out to eat, I stop by a gas station and pick up some red bull because I knew day 2 was going to be about 16 hours. We get back to the hotel, and I put them in the fridge. Then after listening to my boss talk about himself and how great he is for about an hour while trying to fall asleep, we knock out to be up for a 6 o'clock call.

I get up before the boss, who doesnt have to be at the venue till 7:30 because he was responsible for giving a group of employees who hadn't yet arrived to the hotel a ride to the venue. This was standard procedure so he wouldn't have to hire a lot of people or book extra rooms.

I leave the room and head downstairs to meet my coworkers for breakfast, we eat quickly and as we are heading out of the door, something clicks for whatever reason... I forgot my energy drinks. So I tell my squad to wait up for me, and they set out to pull the car up while I run and grab the drinks.

I get to my room and knock on the door 3 times, then I slide my hotel keycard into the reader and open the door, I'm in a rush so the whole motion took me about a second and a half, I was in a rush and thought my boss was sleeping in, so i didn't wait for a response. Here is the best part.

As I am walking down the corridor part of the room towards the fridge and my line of site breaks from the hall way, I locked eyes with my boss. Standing in between the 2 beds... completely naked with the complimentary lotion bottle in his left hand, frantically attempting to pull his sheets up to cover him as he did a little side hop onto the bed.

It was already too late, I will never be able to bleach out the image out of my mind. I broke eye contact as I made a bee line for the fridge where the drinks were. "Oh you didn't leave yet" he kind of mumbled as I stuffed my drinks into my back pack.

"Nope not yet, see you at the venue" I said as I left the room so fast, I might as well have phased through the floor into the lobby. I get into the car, my co workers asked me if I had just seen a ghost, I told them to just go to the venue.

I may have lied about the best part because I forgot to mention what happened after the 16 hour day when we were both alone in the hotel room that night... "You know..." he broke the silence "every time that we go to a new city, I have recognized that the water..."

(I thought he was going to have some sort of excuse for what I saw, so I was relieved that the horror from earlier was not going to be mentioned as he kinda trailed off, thinking of what to say next)

"... the water is just so harsh... it really dries my skin out... so I have to like, put lotion everywhere to combat the ashiness... does that ever happen to you? ..."
"of course, all the time." I agreed hoping it would spare me a long winded explanation.
"Oh. Okay... good night."

For some reason after that point, the boss was not so quick to yell at me all the time... I wonder what was going through his mind. Needless to say, I was traumatized, but now I have a funny story to tell. "Have you ever walked in on your boss jerking off?" It's a great icebreaker at parties.

Username: [deleted]

Walked in on my parents performing some good old fashioned make-up sex. It was the night of my sister's engagement party and the party was held at my soon-to-be brother-in-law's parent's house, and well it was an open bar which was an open invitation for my father to get plastered.

A little background, my mother and father went to our cottage located in northern michigan which was around a 20 minute drive away from a golf course. So my parents and another couple stayed at the cottage and went golfing the next day.

Well alcohol and golf carts don't mix with my father who still thinks he's 20. He was drifting and just whipping around in the golf cart with my mother in it. And well, she didnt have the strength to hold on so she basically did a barrel roll and her foot got caught by the rear wheel and it basically had broken her foot so that led to her wearing a large boot so she could walk on it sometimes, but most of the time she used her knee-scooter.

Fast forward back to the party, and my father being drunker than an Irishman. My mom was getting annoyed and I wanted to go home, so I was the only sober one and this was before I had my license so I had to drive my obliterated father and semi-drunk mother home from the party.

After an hour of attempts to get my father to the car, we finally are on our way and he's thinking it's the funniest thing covering my eyes and slapping me playfully while driving. In hindsight I'm still extremely upset about that.

We get home after the long and grueling ride and I pulled into the driveway too far so my mother couldn't get to the house with her scooter so I had to back the car up.

My father's 20 year old mindset led him to think it was a good idea to have me run over his foot with the car and act like it hurt and he falls over. I'm panicking having the worst night of my life at this moment thinking I just destroyed my drunk father's foot and would have to make another horrible drive to the hospital.

But no, he did it to prove that my mom was being over-dramatic and that her foot couldnt hurt that bad. That turns into a huge fight, I felt like my parents were gonna get divorced and it was just horrible. I went into my room, and my mom already was laying down, my dad ended up going to the room even though he claimed he was going to sleep outside.

I assumed everyone went to bed, I hear the dog whining at the door to get into my parents room which is where the dogs normally sleep so I open the door there.
**Boot in the air**

That's all I saw. My mother's over-sized boot just held up in the air and my dad standing at the edge of the bed. I just went to my room and put my headphones on as loud as I could.

My drunk father comes to my room 5 minutes later to say, "are you done yet? You gonna go to bed? You just cock-blocked me!" Safe to say I cried myself to sleep that night and now my father torments me every so often just by saying, "boot in the air."

Username: SC2Sycophant

My friend's story. He worked at Circuit City back in the day and walked in on an employee fiddling around with the computer that controlled the audio accessories (if you remember it used to be a console that had push buttons to activate speakers so you could play samples of songs to listen for quality).

Now this employee was not part of the Home Audio but the Car Audio department and he asked what he was doing. "Nothing" was all he got as the guy slammed the door on the control panel and calmly left the room. My friend said he shrugged and continued on to the break room to take his break.

About 20 minutes later he was just walking back to his post when 'all hell broke loose'. Unbeknownst to him, Car Audio and Home Audio were in the midst of a prank war and Car Audio had launched their return salvo, so to speak.

The control machine ran on a little computer they keyed up a minor program to run radio or cds through the speakers, allow you to test said speakers and adjust settings, and make it convenient to push button rotate speakers or if you want, turn them all on and make them loud (which was fun to run things like Metallica after closing to listen in the entire cavernous store while they did stock counts and shit).

Car Audio took advantage of this by replacing said CD with, as my pal put it, 'The juiciest 8 second fart that could be found on the net', setting all the speakers to max, and let it fly with max base settings when someone turned it on.

One poor schlub at Home Audio was showing a family and punched the doom button at ground zero. The fart rolled out of something like 20 sets of speakers from some cheapos to some really expensive high end jobs, all pointed inward toward the control panel.

It was so loud that my pal was 20 feet away from the entrance of the speaker room and could feel the air pushed out of it, the windows of the room reverberating like a sonic boom went off, and watched some speaker cables fly off shelving that hugged the wall inside.

Every head turned in the place as this thunderquake drowned out practically everything inside the showroom (nearly the size of a football field as I remember). It was all about the base...and those speakers could handle a gut curdling ass blast like pros.

He got to the entrance to see one beet red employee with hair and clothes mussed stammering out an apology to one family consisting of Mother (beet red as well with hair and clothes mussed) and a trio consisting of Father and Two Sons (equally disheveled but who went baser in their humor as most males do and were bent over and dying of laughter)

Unfortunately, the shit hit the proverbial fan and all involved parties were severely reprimanded and advised to settle said Prank War or firings would come down the line. They also put the computer control panel under lock because of it.

Username: typhoidtimmy

Don’t know if this could count as me “walking in”. it’s more like me “driving next to”. Last year on Super Bowl Sunday I was driving back to my University at night around 1030ish, I live in Ohio and there was a snowstorm on this day. While driving on OH-117 I was behind a life flight ambulance.

The roads were slippery and the snow was coming down hard. We were going about 45-55 mph and the ambulance hit a patch of black ice and started swerving to recover and went off the road and barrel rolled into a field and slid about 30-40 yards.

I stopped my car (after I recovered from sliding too). And ran out into the blizzard to try and help. I went to the front of the vehicle and checked on the driver and passenger and they were okay. I thought it’d be a good idea to try and climb up vehicle to try and help them get out, but they managed to get out of the passenger door which is was now in the air.

The driver shouted “we need to help the guys in the back!” And as he opened up the side door (mind you which is now the ‘top’ of the vehicle) I heard a blood curling scream, and I felt my stomach turn as I was imagining what was going on back there. There were other civilians at this point that had stopped to help same as me.

We went to the back of the ambulance and while a lady and another man held open the door I climbed inside of the ambulance to help this other met who wasn’t strapped into a seat. He was laying at an angle with his head now inside of a cabinet and his body as well.

Me and the driver grabbed this man by his belt (this guy is at least 300-350lbs) and lift him onto a more stable position. While we were doing this I saw another emt in the back trying to unbuckle his seat belt and it looked like his nose was bleeding/broken, I could’ve only assumed it was from something whacking his face during the crash.

The passenger to the ambulance a female was grabbing supplies from the cabinets and other places that were now in total disarray. When we got the heavy man onto a stable platform on one of the cabinets he started screaming and blood was pouring from this mouth, the right side of his forehead and also the back of his head.

When he went to open up hid mouth to scream I swear all of his front teeth were missing or at least several Because I just saw empty bloody sockets. He was trying to fight us off of him and I’m pretty sure his leg/ ankle was broken too.

They asked me if I could hold onto this legs while the other two men held his upper body down and also applying pressure to his head to stop the bleeding. The female emt took scissors and cut open high right pant leg and while I was Holding his legs she drilled either below or into his knee I can’t really remember and put some ketamine and fluids into his body to calm him down some.

While all of this was going on the female civilians from before was calling 911 and trying to coordinate our location. She had no idea where she was at and I couldn’t tell if it was from the shock or if it was because she was from Georgia, and I was telling her we are on state route 117 just north of Huntsville and just after “Fion and Classic Swing” (a local winery).

Eventually the fire department, Sheriffs and another ambulance arrived and took care of the situation. After I told the Sheriffs what’s happened and they took my statement I went on my way to watch the Eagles beat the Patriots😎.

As bad as it might sounds I had such an adrenaline rush it was awesome. It was my senior year and my degree was in Criminal Justice. I knew I’ve always wanted to go into a field where I want to help others, and that event solidified it.

Also I found out a few weeks later that he had been life flighted out of the hospital was at because he had internal brain hemorrhaging and ended up surviving! It felt good knowing that I did something to help save another mans life.

Username: samcgowan711

I've got a fun one. There was a large national undergraduate conference and I was volunteering as a hallway monitor in the hotel where everyone was staying.

Things can get a bit wild when you throw a few hundred undergrads together in a hotel for a couple days so my job as a monitor was to wander the hotel floors to keep the attendees in rooms rather than halls and nip any noise complaints in the bud and before hotel security or hotel management got complaints since they had already threatened to kick people out.

So the first night, I'm wandering the halls trying to keep a full scale hotel party from erupting when I get radioed to go to the 8th floor to calm things down. As I step out of the elevator I see the hallway is packed with bodies so I start telling people to "get into a room," just as I'm starting this security emerges from another elevator, the attendee's recognize the situation has just went from "we're just getting a warning" to "oh we are so fucked if security catches any of us."

It was like watching cops roll up on an underage party, they all run for cover nearest unlocked room, but now the noise is just concentrated in one spot. I walk up to the room in question at the same time as security, and ask if they would be willing to let me handle this one.

If I don't get the people in the room to quiet down to a respectable level then they (security) can drop the hammer. Security agrees and gives me the go ahead. This is where things get interesting, I knock on the door and firmly say "let me in or everyone in there is going to be removed from the hotel."

As I slide into the room, all the lights are off and curtains closed so its pretty damn dark. The room is PACKED there must have been about 30 people jammed in there, wall to wall. I start with "security is right outside and you will be kicked out of the hotel and conference if you don't calm it down!"

I start squeezing my way deeper into the room looking for lights to turn on so I can see what all noise is about... I swear I hear people yelling? crying? and jumping on the bed... I get to the back of the room and there on a double bed, not a queen, but a double, are not one but two couples going to pound town. Legs and white asses everywhere.

They didn't stop. At this point I've got no idea what to do, so I panic and start yelling at every to "GET THE FUCK OUT NOW" creating a stampede that almost runs over the security guards who were still standing outside the door.

I cleared the room, left the couples to keep going at it, and explained to security why they almost got trampled. Good times.

Username: Bourqy

My friends and I used to meet up and play computer games for weekends on end. All sitting in one dank room with our computers drinking Mountain Dew, eating Doritos and occasionally a slice of cold pizza.

After one particularly sweaty weekend we finally decided to get some air and headed down to the bus stop to go take the bus to a friend’s place who lived in a different part of town.

One of my friends, let’s call him Hank, was a very big guy, not fat in any sense, just a very very large boy. So Hank’s stomach had been growling since we left our den that afternoon and after waiting for the bus for a few minutes, he excused himself to go use a restroom in a nearby mall.

He told us to just go ahead without him as he planned to catch the next bus. Apparently he had some business to attend to and we didn’t pay it no mind. He walks off, half limping, half skipping in an attempt to be rid quickly of that Mountain-Dewey-Doritos-surprise that had been brewing in his tummy over the weekend.

Not five minutes later I get a call from Hank, asking me to come to the bathroom. He didn’t say much but I heard in his voice that he was distraught. He mumbled something about needing help and left it at that. I quickly told the guys Hank was in trouble and we hurried into the mall and found the closest restroom and entered the men’s.

I will never forget the stench that filled this relatively large public restroom. There was a trail of light brown liquid leading to one of the half-open stalls. Inside I expected to see Hank but instead on the floor I saw what can only be described as a mountain of shit.

The sheer amount of feces that lay there on the floor beneath the toilet was one of the most fucked up and yet impressive feats of human possibility that I have ever seen. In the next stall over was an extremely red, and very sweaty Hank STILL churning out the brown stuff in the unspoiled stall. That motherfucker ruined not one but two stalls that day with his droppings.

I want to steer away from calling what he produced diarrhea, because it frankly takes away from the modern-art installation that was this mountain of shit. It was at least a foot wide and almost a foot tall.

Unfortunately, this was before we all walked around with cameras in our pockets so there no way of documenting this behemoth for further inspection let alone Guinness world record entries.

His mother ended up coming down with a fresh pair of clothes for Hank (yes, a full wardrobe change) and after watching the poor cleaning team close the bathroom down for a biohazard deep clean we each took an oath never to tell a soul what happened to Hank that day and headed home. We kept our vow and we’re still best friends to this day. Love you Hank!

Username: atli123

Didn't mistakenly walk in but here's this anyway. Happened two nights ago. Threw a Halloween party Friday night and have friend(26f) crashing on the couch for the weekend. Party goes off without a hitch and everyone seems to be having a good time, but apparently I had been oblivious to the fact that 26f had been flirting all night with a buddy of mine(25m) who is not single.

Throughout the night, 25m makes several mentions of his girlfriend who is visiting her parents in a different state and flies back in the next day, so that info had been disclosed before the flirting happened.

The party goes starts winding down at around 4AM, at which point I set up an inflatable mattress in the living room for a friend from school and his girlfriend who were too drunk and I notice 25m starts to lie down perpendicularly on the couch to 26f (head on lap scenario, it's one of those L shaped couches.)

This did not sit right with me because it was clearly past the line of appropriate behavior, but 25m is a known idiot (we were both in the Navy, in the same command) and I try to give him the benefit of the doubt because I am really gullible I guess.

Not long after I let them all sleep it off and go to bed myself, wife & I hear vomiting and then a minute later the sound of a screen door slide open & closed. I want to ignore it but wife is worried and insists I should make sure everyone is okay. When I check the back patio I see school friend & his girlfriend trying to sleep on the couch in the patio out back.

Turns out they felt like it was too awkward to stay inside because the moment I left the living room, 25m and 26f started having sex. So I go back inside to stop them and walk in on that absolute gross mess. Felt like I walked in on an ensuing crime scene.

They didn't even notice I had walked in, but that's no surprise since they didn't even care that there were two other people trying to sleep in the same room. I tell 25m that he has to go and it startles him. It took everything I had just to not wring his neck.

He looked real sunken & ashamed as he was gathering his stuff and walked out the door that I was holding open (sidenote: he lives just a few houses away.) 26f was just frozen on the couch hiding her face w/ a blanket. I go tell friends on patio that it is safe to go back in, and I try to go to bed again.

The next day, I have to deal with the fallout along with a hangover. I had to return 25m's phone that he had left here. Through tears he apologized and told me that he told his girlfriend what happened before she got on her flight back. The classy move.

She isn't coming back for now. School friend felt better in the morning. Turns out what caused him to throw up was a combination of too much alchohol, pizza with pineapple on it (always ill-advised), and the sounds of infidelious smanging.

They both helped clean up afterwards, while 26f was still asleep on our now tainted couch. She won't be invited back.

Username: Blottomatic

This was quite a long time ago, I had just barely turned 18. I had also only recently come out to my family as gay. Being young and horny, but in a pretty conservative area I wasn't quite sure how to go about finding people to fool around with.

Since this predated the era of things like Grindr, Facebook, even smartphones, I did the only thing I knew of. I went to a gay-oriented chat room that was specific to my locale.

I wasn't really expecting to have any success since I'm not the bog-standard of male attractiveness. I was thin, lanky, had long red hair, and with skin so pale I nearly glow in the dark. I was also severely lacking in self-confidence, due to most of the traits listed above having made me a target for bullies over the years.

Much to my surprise I got a private message! It was a local guy, late 20's, saying he was looking and decided to message me simply because I was someone he'd never seen there before (I appreciated that honesty).

We spoke for a while, looked at each other's profiles including the ever-so-clear digital images that only a late-'90s camera phone could produce, and decided that we would meet up. We agreed that he would come pick me up and take me back to his place. I had him meet me at a local store, I was naive but not entirely stupid. I didn't want him knowing exactly where I lived.

We get to his place and it's massive. The house, perverts. The house was massive and it was clear that I was with someone who had seen the other side of life, the side of the proverbial tracks that I'd only seen on TV.

It's only once I get inside do I realize that my new friend wasn't alone, there were two of them. The other one was older, early 40s I'd say, and was most likely where the money for this house case from. He seemed more educated, a bit stuffy, a professional type.

It was clear from the mutual glances that they meant to share me. Sure, why not. Surprisingly, the evening started with food. They set out an array of snacks and drinks, and put on a movie. I don't remember what it was, some musical of some sort. I didn't really pay it much attention, not my thing.

We talked for a bit and I figured that for whatever reason the chemistry just wasn't there, since here we are having snacks and watching a movie. Not where I thought the night was going to go.

It was about 30 minutes into this movie when I turned to the sofa behind me, where they'd been sitting, to say something to them when I notice I'm alone. How long had they been gone? Where did they go?

What do I do now? Questions raced through my head. Foreign environment, people I don't know, didn't have my own transportation to get back home, and now I'm alone.

I'd been taught that when you're a guest in someone's home you don't just start wandering about poking into every which room, but I had to find them. So, off I went. I'd made my way down the first hallway I came across and had already checked 4 or 5 rooms but found nothing when I started to hear sounds coming from another room farther down the hall.

I don't know why I was so cautious but I made my way towards that room as stealthily as I could, like some sort of burglar. I had made it to the door to the room the sounds were coming from and decided that rude or not I was going into that room.

I'd imagined some scenario where I tell them how rude it is to leave a guest unattended or some such, but when I opened that door all my language skills just ceased to exist.

I was a late bloomer, and had only recently started to explore the idea of sexuality. I was new to just about everything, having only experienced light foreplay prior to this night. A virgin, in fact. I had no frame of reference to explain what I was seeing. I'd seen a couple pornos, but certainly nothing like this.

The older one was laying on his back in what I now know is called a sling, while the younger one is literally elbow deep into the older one's ass. I had no words. I just froze, standing there some wide-eyed, shell-shocked, trauma victim desperately trying to process what was before me. What felt like forever, but was probably only 30 seconds or so, passed when the younger one spoke,

"Oh there you are! Would you like to join?" I managed to eek out "I'd like to go home now please."

I slowly closed the door, all the while my eyes locked onto the younger one's face, his eyes locked onto me. I made my way back to the TV room and quietly waited for them to return.

There was barely a word said between the younger one and myself while he drove me back to where he'd picked me up. "I'm sorry if that was too much..." "It's fine," I said.

It was not fine. Not fine at all. I had so many questions to which I didn't want answers. I didn't bother to try and meet up with anyone for sex again for nearly a year.

Every time the idea popped into my head all I could see was that arm lathered up in some sort of thick, white, lube working its way into a place that an arm should not be. A place that had clearly seen some not-so-tender use over the years. Horrifying.

Username: Pravus_Belua

I was one of the one's walked in on, but I'd love to share the story regardless. New to the area, roommates throw a party complete with a shitty band playing in the basement of the house. The basement was kind of where all the action was, but drinks and the bathrooms were all upstairs... As was my bedroom. In fact, my bedroom door was right next to the basement door.

I'd been dating this girl for bit, and this party was maybe her second time at my place. She really wanted to make a good impression on my roommates so she was being a social butterfly while I wall-flowered like it was a middle school dance.

Eventually she coaxed me into a round table where we discussed why the city we lived in was bullshit. Thanks to plenty of hash and beer I became a social gem, and caught the attention of another girl. Unfortunately, before long, I was no longer okay and needed to be quickly whisked away upstairs so that I could spend some quality time with the toilet.

The girl I was dating could stand the sound of me wretching and decided to wait for me in my room. When I got back she convinced me that I was no longer capable of social functions and that I should tell everyone I was calling it a night. I did so, and came across the other girl. She begged me to stay downstairs and just have fun, but I was doing everything I could just to stand so my roommates separated me from her and guided me to the bedroom.

Inside was the girl I was dating, who had decided to take some inspiration from "How I Met Your Mother" and greeted me fully naked, ready to go. Before long we we're going at it as best as two people barely capable of motor functions could.

At some point she was on my bed on all fours going down on me, begging me in between breaths to fuck her in the ass. I heard the door open and quickly close, but didn't think anything of it because my attention was obviously laser focused on the task at hand. The girl going down on me turned around and spit on her hand for lubrication and got everything all set up for me to putt this one in when I heard "Oh my God honey, not spit." We both quickly snapped our heads to the door and saw the silhouette of the girl who had been begging me to stay at the party.

The girl on my bed paused for a second and said "Girl, for real?" Caught, the other girl quickly scuttled out the door without a peep. Unfortunately (well, maybe fortunately) this immediately killed the mood for buttstuff and we carried on with the basics until we both passed out.

The next morning, we did the walk of shame as I walked her out to the car. When I came back in, I was informed that after the other girl left our room she proceeded to tell many others at the party what she saw and tried to make a big deal of it.

Apparently there was a plan to bust into my room again to interrupt things being formulated by her, but no one was willing to join her, so she gave up. Word got back to the girl I was dating and she made the decision to not attend any future parties at the house, and ended things with me very shortly after.

When I asked why, she explained that she was so embarrassed that my roommates found out and that she felt like she couldn't show her face at my place anymore. Feeling a little salty about the break up, I did my best to sound like I was taking it well I said "Girl, for real?" She wasn't impressed.

Username: lolzycakes

Ok so this is a long story but very worth it to read. Ok so I didn't walk in on someone but after reading most of these posts, I have to chime in on a story my buddy told me.

Ok so all the boys and I were having a drinking/poker night and as we all got more and more hammered, stories started coming out and the poker got put aside. Anyway, the drunkest guy has this look on his face like he's got something bad to say, kind of a ghost look on his face.

He's like "guys.....this is fucked up and ive never told anyone this before so this doesn't leave the room, and I'm only saying it cuz you guys are my boys...."

We all give each other a look like "oh shit...ok..." He's like "when I was about 8 years old, maybe 9...I liked playing Sherlock Holmes, I'd pretend to find mysteries and clues around my own house and I'd solve them."

"So one night my parents had the next door neighbors over for a BBQ and brought their daughter whom was also my age, and we started snooping around the house looking for clues while our parents were out on the patio in the backyard doing the BBQ.

We went in my parents bedroom and I stood up on their bed to reach their shelf on the wall and there was a shoebox there. I told their daughter that the clues were in the box! So we grabbed the box and took it back to my bedroom and plopped it on the floor and both sat down to go through the clues.

We pulled out of the box about 100 Polaroids. It was 1989 at this time. And all 100 Polaroids were of my parents sucking, fucking, and licking my next door neighbors. The daughter's mom sucking my dad's dick, while my mom was eating her out and her dad was fucking my mom.

Everything you can imagine. 100 Polaroids of an 80s 4-some of the parents of both of us. We looked at each other like we had just seen aliens. And I put the Polaroids back in the box and then hid the box under my own bed because I was too young to think to put it back. I just never wanted to see them again."

At this moment, my buddy had the 6 of us on the floor laughing. Tears in our eyes. Drinks were spilled. Screaching and hysterical laughter lasted for almost a half hour. And he just sat there shaking his head, not believing he just told us that!!!

It goes down as the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. Just how it would traumatize a person to see porn at that age, and then see your dad fucking your neighbors. They were swingers i guess. But man, I dunno. That would fuck you up at that age. But my buddy is a pretty normal dude.

Username: jonnycruz666

College dorms. Oh man... it happened a few times. May have happened to me few times but, uh, those stories are for another day. I think there are two times that really stand out though and both occurred during the drunken shit show orgy that was freshman year.

Story #1: I lived across the hall from two sophomore girls. Well it wasn't really that late and was a weekday. Most people were taking it easy doing their homework or other chores. I'm getting ready to do some laundry.

I open my dorm room door with my laundry bag and hear the glorious noises of bed-frame vs. dorm wall and other sexy-time noises coming from the room across the hall. I should mention that this was not out of the ordinary as both of the girls who lives across from me had boyfriends at the time.

I don't really think about it and continue down the hall towards our floor's shared laundry room and happen to run into one of my friends who's also on her way to do laundry. As we approach the laundry room nothing seems out of the ordinary, the door is open and the lights are off.

All I can hear is the sound of washers and dryers at work. Now the laundry room has motion sensitive lights that turn on when you enter the room however the sensor is pointing at the door and the lights stay on for \~5 mins unless you hit the switch.

Well my friend and I wander in to the laundry room, the lights switch on and lo and behold there is across the hall neighbor getting plowed porn-star style on top of an active washing machine by her bf. Boyfriend turns around while still inside her, starts laughing, she peeks around him and just shrieks, "GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!!!"

Neither my friend nor myself got our laundry that night but it was a good laugh and the neighbor ended up being a good sport about it (I mean c'mon how did they not expect any*one* to walk in on their smash sesh). I did avoid that washer for the rest of the year though-- 3rd washer from the left on the back wall of the second floor laundry room is forever unclean.

Story #2: Also freshman year. It was a Friday or Saturday and a bunch of us on the hall decided to throw a dorm party. We mixed up a bunch of jungle juice (extra shitty - Carlo Rossi/Everclear base w/ a bunch of frozen raspberries dumped in).

Everyone's having a good time, but one of my friends who we'll call Larry who was kindly hosting the party in his room started to get reaaaal drunk. Right as we're about to go out and cruise on to more good times Larry lets out a chunky red tidal wave all over his dorm room floor. We're all pretty plastered by this point so we decide 'fuck it' we'll deal with it later and head out.

Well during the course of the night Larry's roommate, we'll call him Chucky, meets a fine lady and they decide to run off and bump uglies. Now Chucky had been with us the whole night-- he'd witnessed the horrible red tidal wave sweep across his floor, but apparently in his own drunken stupor had forgotten about that whole mess.

Eventually all the parties are winding down and Larry and the rest of us decide to head back and wind down in the dorms. As we get back to our hall we decide to assess the damage done to Chucky and Larry's room. Larry unlocks the door, flips on the lights and a scene straight out of some murder porn unfolds before our eyes.

Lying on the floor is Chucky's mattress absolutely covered in bits of vomit covered raspberry and regurgitated jungle juice. Lying next to the mattress passed out and naked on top of each other are both Chucky and his lady-friend who are also both covered head to toe in Larry's heinous mixture. We quickly shut off the lights and made our exit. Larry ended up sleeping on my couch that night.

When confronted with his questionable decision-making the morning after Chucky hardly remembered any of it (obviously) but said they were "really" horny and when he couldn't find the light switch decided to grab a soft object, throw it on the ground and get after it.

Username: villianz

I have a feeling that I will be buried in the comments but here it goes: Ok. A high school friend of mine was having a party because his parents were out of town (as 16 year olds do). I unexpectedly found myself an, opening, with a girl who I knew from school.

I ask the house owner “hey man, _____ and I need a spot to... you know”. He says no problem, take the first door on the left upstairs “it’s my brothers room but he’s out with his friends”. Cool, we go upstairs and I push a collection of legos and model trains off the bed and remember thinking that I don’t know a lot of 9 year olds who go out with their friends all night, but whatever.

I’m not “prepared”, so I text a friend who is also at the party to source me a condom ASAP to the first room on the left upstairs. He delivers. I am clapping these cheeks like my life depends on it when I hear a commotion from outside the room.

My friend had posted up on the couch outside, and when the 19 year old brother comes home and barrels up the stairs to his room my friend tries to stop him.

“There’s someone in there?”
“Uh yeah man I’m not sure who but I wouldn’t go in”

Nice try on his part. Unfortunately, I had forgotten to lock the door. She’s on top, I’m laying down with my face facing the door. Door opens, brother looks in and sees an extremely white pair of buttcheeks shining in the hallway light back at him (I assume) and shuts the door.

I am in full on panic mode. BUT, not ready to give up hope that I can salvage the situation.
“Should we keep going?”
“Uh, I guess”

We keep at it for a few minutes until the door FLYS open. Pause. The dark figure outlined in the hallway light reaches to his left, behind the dresser, pulls out a shotgun and cocks it all with one hand, and closes the door.

I throw this girl off me like an Olympic shot-putter. As fast as I can I’m throwing my clothes on, she asks “where’s my underwear?!” I say “who cares just get dressed!!” I open the door, expecting to be met by an extremely mad brother...

But there is no one upstairs! We slip down the stairs to the main floor without anyone noticing, as the brother had joined the main party in the basement. I join my condom-delivering-compadre on the couch, who was waiting for me knowing full well what had just happened. We chat about “bro that was so crazy”, etc until I realize there is an extremely uncomfortable sensation coming from my lap.

I excuse myself from the couch to the bathroom, reach down and...
SSSNNNNAAAPP
Pull the condom off, and flush it.
We went home, all is good.

Years later, a small group of us show up to the premier of the Hobbit. We were early, so that we could grab great seats. The only other people in the theatre were the guys in the front row wearing capes, chainmail, elf ears, the whole 9 yards.

The smallest hobbit stands up and starts telling this crazy story to entertain the group, about the time his brother threw a party in high school, he caught a couple kids hooking up in his room, and pulled a shotgun to scare them off! I sank lower, and lower in my seat.

Username: melfqw

I used to work for Circuit City and also have a medical condition that requires frequent use of the restroom. I transferred from a relatively upscale Circuit City to one that I later discovered was less than luxury side of town.

Early on after the transfer I walked in to the bathroom and heard grunting. I was caught off guard a bit, as I've walked in to the bathroom many times before and it was quiet. So, I look at the stalls and see two pairs of feet in them. One behind the other. The pair in front, towards the wall, when bent in such a way that it was clear he was bending over, while the pair of feet behind him standing upright.

I stood there for a moment, processing why I saw two pairs of feet in a public bathroom stall, with grunting coming from it. I wish I knew why, but I made the decision to cautiously approach and see what was going on.

I quietly entered the bathroom, and heard metal clanking a bit as I approached. As I casually strolled past the stall to the other stall behind it, I look in to confirm my suspicions. Turns out it was a pair of plumbers working on the toilet.

For a slightly more rewarding story, I also used to work for Best Buy back in 2003. Again, I have a medical condition that requires frequent use of the bathroom.

One day I'm in the stall, try to pee, when someone enters the stall next to me. And I suddenly hear a slapping sound. I'm in a bit of disbelief when I realize what the sound is, and I just stare at the dude's feet. They're wobbling a bit.

Then, as things pick up, I watch as the feet slowly rise upward, towards the stall door. As they reach the stall door, things come to a head and the feet kind of kick off the door a bit, before coming down again. A slight groan sound is heard.

Fully recognizing what the hell just happened, I flushed the toilet, washed my hands and walked out. I was the service tech though, so my department was right next to the bathroom exit. So, I waited as the man who had a fight with a one eyed monster came out and went in his way.

Suffice to say I stunned that day. Having this medical condition is a curse. But every now and then, someone shares the bathroom with me and I get a good chuckle out of it.

Username: Nakatomi2010

After a fund raiser, for which I was dressed very well and attracted people with lots of money, one of the guys I met at the bar invited a few of us out with him.

He had top level executive investment banker money. Beautiful large apartment right on Gramercy Park in Manhattan. He takes us back to his place, we grab some weed and head into the park where we smoke. He then says that he will take us to his bar around the corner. We show up with him, 2 other guys, and the other guy's wife.

The bouncers there are all dressed tuxedos, and basically tell us that we can't go in with that guy:girl ratio. He says "Come on, man, I'm here all the time, you know me. Just let us in" and the bouncer relents.

I'm all high and pumped at this point and I go right up to the bar and say that I'll buy the first round. He says "No, we aren't going to the bar, we are going to the back. . .and let's look at the drink prices before you make that offer."

So we walk through some velvet curtains into some huge open room with beautiful pool tables and coaches everywhere. Every girl in there is between the ages of 21-25 (okay, maybe not even 21) and all dressed to the nines. The guys all appear to be late 30s-50 all new money.

I look at the menu and the cheapest drink is a 20 dollar bottle of wine. You could buy a bottle of JD, which you could probably buy for 20 dollars at the time even in NYC, for almost 400 dollars. Every drink was 55+ and there were some 15k bottles on the menu.

Obvious the investment banker picked up the tab. But at this point I felt very uncomfortable (being a bit high) and that I just didn't belong there. I'm not poor, but compared to every man in there I was a beggar.

I still appear to fit in, because I am dressed very well due to the event, and some girl starts making eyes at me. I'm like "honey, if this is where you are fishing for men, I'm definitely not what you are looking for."

So I head into the back to go to the bathroom, and it is just one bathroom with couches in it, with individual rooms. Pretty sure I saw people doing lines. I walk into the first room on the left and I just see some dude's white ass in between two raised legs right on the counter. I apologize and quickly vacate the room. I do my business and then head back to my friends.

I explain to my friend what happened and he says "First room on the left? And the door was unlocked? They wanted someone to walk in on them. You made their night."

Username: EatATaco

This was my first time ever having sex. I was a 16 year old kid, lying down in the field we used to sneak off to smoke weed in. I

was lying down next to my first ever girlfriend, she was much more experienced than I, I was dating a slut, but thats not the point, she looks at me and says "I wish we could have sex right now", me, being a 16 year old virgin, I pull out my wallet that had my 3 year old first condom ever shoved in there. I say "I have a condom"

That's where this whole ordeal starts. Let me just get this out there, she was diabetic and carried insulin needles. This is NY, where the heroin epidemic was just getting underway and the cops were losing it.

Fast forward about 20 minutes, and we moved over into a more secluded part of this field, where we as kids trying to hide from everyone would smoke bowls, there were a couple knocked down trees we would sit at. So things were starting to get hot and heavy, we start going at it, using the condom of course.

About 10 minutes later I hear voices, It sounded like people were approaching, but it was already too late. By the time I had looked up, a single file line of about 15 kids, all my age, walked towards us, saw what we were up to, laughed, or snickered, and turned around. Thats not the worst of it, having 15 peers see my noodle wasnt the worst of it.

Later on I get stopped by the police, they were asking if me and my girlfriend were in the woods earlier, we said we were, because this town was covered in cameras, we didn't want to be caught lying.

We were then immediately arrested because she accidentally spilled needles out of her purse and they thought we were selling drugs to all those kids who came and left, who just prior, were busted with heroin.

Luckily all I can say is that my girlfriend knew exactly what to say about the needles, and she got us out of the back of that cop car in no time flat.

Username: MobyTheFish

I was 17 at the time. 16 year old girlfriend. Being the super creative and smart teen I was, I'd positioned my desk and hutch at my door so you had to walk around them once you came in my door before you could see my bed. Kind of a nice little "visual block" of my bed. I thought I was crafty, but Dad wasn't born yesterday.

So, here's my girlfriend waxing poetic on my carrot. The door is slightly open as to not arouse suspicion. We finish up, have dinner, and she heads home shortly after.

Now. I played hockey. I was a pretty decent forward. My girlfriend also played hockey. She was in the same league, but she was a goalie.

The only female, as there wasn't a prominent women's league. My team was playing her's that night. And, we'd kept our relationship quiet, none of the players on either team knew we were dating.

Around the end of the first period one of the referees comes over to the bench, leans over and says "So, I heard you already scored tonight, think you can do it again?". I was shocked and tried to play it off "what? I never scored tonight"...
"That's not what I heard"
"No, I missed that shot on the last shift"
"Maybe you should try your other stick. It seemed to work earlier for you"

That's when it hit me. FUCK. Dad had walked in, saw what was up, quietly exited my room without us knowing and played the long game. He told the referees (who he was friends with). They were sure to relay the fact we were dating to the other team, and all my teammates.

Needless to say, I was given a lot of "accidental" break-aways in the remainder of the game. I purposely missed 2 of them, but honestly tried on one, and she robbed me. It wasn't a particularly pretty save as I did basically put it right into her glove, she just embellished it a lot. Either way, the entire arena broke into a fit of laughter, and I just crumbled to the ice in shame.

Needless to say, credit to my dad on playing the sneak attack.

Username: ilovedillpickles

This one falls into the category of a delayed caught/walked-in-on story... During my study abroad in Japan during college, my then gf and I were pretty much fornicating like rabbits. A

ny place we could find such as internet cafes where you have your own booth, class rooms at our college, even sneaking her into my no girls allowed dorm (my room was on the third floor).

One weekend I was lucky enough to stay the over with her at her parents house. Her mom leaves to take her sister somewhere and her dad has passed out at this point. Their apartment wasn`t very large but she did manage to have her own room. So, we be hanging out watching some random shit on her computer...when I start to get a case of the wandering fingers.

Things are starting to get hot and heavy has i rip her pajama pants off and bend her over her bed (the same bed she has to share with her sister). At this time she had left the door open to hear if anyone is moving around.

Turns out without us even noticing her father had meandered into his room to pass out after falling asleep on the couch. This girls had a tendency to get loud...so thinking in the moment we pull up our pants fast and move to the kitchen since his room was next to hers.

I continue to give her the business on her mothers kitchen counter. Loving every minute of it. At this point we have been going at it for a good hour (quite a personal achievement aside from a 5 time go around with the same girl).

We finish up, and me being a dumbass didn`t wear a condom and wasn`t about to drop a deposit in the baby maker (she wasn`t on the pill otherwise I would have). So she gets some tissues, sucks me off, and throws the evidence in the trash can.

Fast forward two days... Talking with the gf and she drops a bombshell. Her mom found the tissues while she was cleaning. Stupid girl didn`t hide them well enough...or as I should have done is flush the evidence. Her mom freaks the fuck out and bans her from seeing me. After much apologizing things got better.

In hindsight the ex-gf was a crazy bitch but fun in bed while her mother was the joker with a side of two-face. I should have cut ties at that time but stuck it out for almost two years. But, that is another fucked up story.

Username: [deleted]

With first GF at the time, roughly 16-17 years old. We were at the beach (an enclosed one, you walk to it through a trail and it just opens up below and you’re surrounded by this cliff sort of thing) just hanging out when she got a little turned on, so we started walking to the right side of the beach and found this narrow spot where the cliff above kinda started moving in on itself giving us a little bit of a closet between the cliff with a narrow entrance that kinda opens up to the ocean and beach.

She ended up giving me my first BJ and after we walked back to the spot on the beach where we were hanging out. About 5 minutes later this older couple walks from our right past the enclosed area and walks right past us smiling.. that’s when it hit me while we were busy this couple must’ve walked past us and saw everything and just kept going, as there was no other entrance to the beach from where they came from.

Another time probably less than a week later we were at her house. She was babysitting her (at the time) 4 year old sister alone and so I stopped by to hangout. We were getting a little handsy on the couch and were trying to figure out somewhere we could go that wasn’t too far when GF gets the idea to use the small laundry room nearby.

Brilliant, nearby and private. About 5 minutes later her little sister must’ve gotten bored of The Emperors New Groove, came looking for us, and mid GF going to town in a BJ bust open the door with us standing dead center in full view of the doorway. With incredibly fast reflexes GF grabs the door and slams it shut, without once stopping or slowing down.

Since the house was Military Housing, most of the doors in the house do not have locks, so she proceeds to hold the door closed with one hand while continuing on with what she was doing. Needless to say, once she was done we swapped and I held the door as she sat on the dryer.

Username: The_Bolenator

This always sticks out in my brain as the most embarrassing moment I've ever experienced. My grandma was there classiest sweetest most elegant lady I've ever met, always very well put together, clean, proper; but with a great sense of humor and the best smile in the world.

When I was in high school she came to stay with us for a week while our parents were out of town, she was in the upstairs guest room. I snuck upstairs in the middle of the night when I was supposed to be asleep and much to my horror grandma left her bedroom door open and lights on, she was standing there topless brushing her hair in the mirror, and Catholic raised sexually repressed me got my first full frontal view of old lady boobies.

And I just stared like a dumbass and she totally noticed me, at first I like darted away and pretended I didn't see her, it was so cringy of me. But she totally saved it lmao she pulled on her gown and came into the kitchen and was laughing a bit. I was so red in the face that I could feel my pulse in my cheek bones. She just chuckled and said oh I'm sorry hun I thought you'd gone to bed, can't sleep?

And I mumbled something stupid. She obviously knew I was a mix of embarrassed and weirded out at the time, she just smiled and laughed that charming laugh and said 'oh honey no ones body is anything to be ashamed of and one day if you're lucky enough you'll get old enough that your breasts look like that too.'

I didn't say anything but it made me laugh, and then she said 'good thing it wasn't you're little brother, I'd hate to think that I might scare him away from breasts forever' then we had toast and hot chocolate and stayed up playing kings corner all night talking.

So not all bad but honestly the most shocked and embarrassed I've ever been. Surprise nudity does that to a person I suppose. She was such a bad ass about it though and now like, almost a decade later I still remember that moment and the amount of grace and composure she handled my flustered ass with.

The best woman I have ever known. She was like royalty. A real life queen. I miss her so so much and I always remember the moments like this. God damnit now I'm all nostalgic because I remembered my grandmas boobs. Christ.

Username: pribbs3

Was awakened one morning by a sound that resembled what I thought were fake nails tapping on the drywall in my mates room. I'm a really sound sleeper so the fact that the noise woke me up in the first place should be a consolation to how loud and annoying it actually was.

Remembering the night previously, I knew my mate had his girlfriend stay the night while our other buddy was sleeping on our couch. I jumped to the conclusion of fake nails because she wears them, and has some quite annoying tendencies.

Anyway, its loud enough to keep me up after waking me up and in my daze I saw no other option than to get all the way up and go tell her to quit tapping on the walls. Walking out of my room, my buddy on the couch was also awake and confirmed we were both hearing something.

I frustratingly opened his door, ready to tell this broad to cut it out, only to be immediately disturbed by these two mouth breathers having a good ol' time. Missionary position, her facing the door and his back to me, she just as quickly makes eye contact with me, and starts to panick.

With her yelling at me to get out and for him to get off, this man turns his head, looks me square in the eye, AND CONTINUES TO THRUST SLOWLY WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE. I mustered up a "sorry" and closed the door, shamefully walked past my buddy on the couch, into my room adjacent, and took a seat on my bed.

It was not until this point, as we've all figured by now, that I realized the noise was actually his bed frame hitting the wall. With her still audibly yelling at him I let out a decompressing belly laugh good enough for a lifetime top 5 in total disbelief that I wasn't still dreaming.

One of the funniest memories we share all thanks to me, thinking this girl was one to tap her stupid nails on the fucking wall, and him being quick to turn the situation into a bloody comedy skit. Unforgettable.

Username: blam-boy

Waaaaay back when, in the days of high school when no one was playing hide the salami yet, a good size group of us were coming to pick up a friend. We didn't want to disrupt his parents, since both of them work pretty early, so we went to knock on his window.

Two of my friends come around the corner of the house right in front of me, with the rest of the gang trailing behind me. They come around the corner and just stopped dead in their tracks, abruptly. Naturally, since I'm not expecting this, I start to curse them out, but one of the guys sorta half tackles me while covering my mouth.

As it turns out, our friend was making a beast with two backs. Now, this was a pretty big deal. This was his first time doing the horizontal greased weasel tango, and at the time we thought he was the first of our friends to go cave diving (we later found out that a different friend was really quiet and had a girlfriend who liked the excitement that comes with the potential of getting caught).

We hadn't been noticed, and good friends would have saved them the embarrassment, but we were *great* friends. So we hurried quietly off to the store, and managed to return before they finished their no pants dance (the guy had some stamina!).

We crept back up to the window, slapped a pregnancy test with tape to the window, and made off like a bat out of hell. Pissed off that his roll in the hay was ruined, our friend chased us, naked, for a few blocks before giving up.

All in all though, it turned out pretty ok, as it turns out the girl was pretty interested in a return trip to pound town and the pregnancy test came in handy.

Username: habanero_monkfish

I was playing guitar hero with the gf in my parents basement one day while I was in high school. One thing led to another and it ended up with me getting head on the couch in front of the tv. Everything was going swimmingly until I hear my mothers voice from behind us, "What are you guys doing?"

The gf's head bobs up from my crotch and she meekly says, "playing games..." My mother responds with, "I know what you are doing, I am very disappointed ect." while she walks over and stands next to a petrified me, covering me quickly softening erection in my lap. After a short lecture I take the gf back to her house.

Now this is where the story gets really funny. My parents are super intense Christians who are 100% into saving yourself for marriage. So that fact that I was getting blown in their basement by my atheist girlfriend was a big deal to them.

So being the good parents they are they decide to have an educational talk with each of us individually a day of two later. My dad talked with me and my mom talked with my gf.

My dad calmly explains that its ok to have urges and he understands why we want to do these things. However, god frowns upon them until you are married, but he left us a way out. My dad gets quiet and explains that I can masturbate to relieve some of the tension.

Then he drops two lines that I will never forget in my entire life: "You know I have never told anyone this before, but I have masturbated. You know girls can masturbate too? You should tell [gf] that she can masturbate." I fight back the laughter and thank my dad for the informative talk.

Now I go talk to the gf to compare notes on our talks and find that my mom has a very different opinion on masturbation. My mom told her that all sexual activity is a sin and you should never masturbate and only have sex when you are married.

Also some things are not even ok in marriage i.e. beejers. I have always known my mom is uptight but after that I just felt bad for my dad. Also none of this stopped me from getting dome in my basement while watching Lost for the next year.

Username: frostyakajello

I was cruising around in a neighbouring scandinavian country, visiting relatives, and the stop of the night was at my uncle's place. With me on this road trip was my cousin and then-current-gf.

We had been offered a futon in the livingroom and a couch for the night. Fairly beat I head off fairly early to bed. My gf comes along and snuggles down about half-hour later. Spooning infront of me.

She looks mischieveously over her shoulder and starts rubbing her well-shaped behind against me, whispering that my cousin will be taking a shower. Now, the livingroom is by no means an enclosed room. It had wide open arches to various portions of the house, but my uncle and his wife were also about to get to bed.

So there was a slight tension/"oooh we could get caught" thing/sensation going here. With that voice, look and the *possibility* of getting walked in on was very turning on. I couldn't resist it so I rather quickly pulled our respective underwear and proceeded to do her from behind.

She gets all worked up, wet and I'm just restraining myself from making an embarassing quickie and out comes my cousin from the shower in a towel and undies, getting into the couch while I have my dick in my gf.

My cousin then strikes a conversation with my gf and I just couldn't let that be. I crept up closer, stretched my arm around under the covers so I could finger my gf while pumping her slowly and hilarity ensued.

My gf did her very best not to sound stressed or trying to catch her breath, and eventually my cousin made a joke and my gf took that as a queue to mix in laughter with panting.

Better yet... after another minute or so after that, I came inside her and got a cold stare from her when I yanked it out... it was on her side of the bed... she'd either have to clench and run or sleep on a very very wet spot..

She clenched and didn't run... she waited for my cousin to turn over and fall asleep and THEN she ran off to the bathroom to wipe herself off... Didn't help the sheets tho...

Username: AlwaysAppropriate

It was a messy situation. Her parents were divorced and she was angry at her sister for telling their mom what their dad was doing to them. Even though she saw me seeing what he was doing she denied what happened for a long time and kind of danced around the topic via implication and innuendo.

We were eight. I would spend the night at his house sometimes. I woke up to him messing around under my sheets one night during a sleepover and bolted up in bed and he immediately left me alone. He grabbed my butt a couple of times "on accident" but there was plausible deniability. But considering what I saw I feel like it was possibly intentional. Then there was the time he bought me leather pants, which was weird.

But yeah, about her, not me. She had issues. In retrospect lots of inappropriate sexual behavior. She once took his camera during truth or dare and had me do a lot of really weird sexual poses while she took pictures. Including sticking things in my junk. Again, I was eight.

Of course I was *also* being molested at the time and didn't think much of it myself. But as an adult I cringe *really fucking hard* thinking about it. She loved playing truth or dare and it always got intensely sexual.

We had a huge falling out when I was fourteen after I tried to kill myself and was hospitalized for a couple of weeks. She couldn't deal with my problems. It was around that time that her mom kicked her out of the house and she had to go live with her dad full time.

Being hurt, exceptionally immature, and just generally fucked up, I told her boyfriend what her dad had done to her. She of course denied it all and that really cemented the never speaking to me again deal forever.

It's been about thirteen years.I kind of facebook stalk her still, though. She's really religious now. Got married a couple of years ago. She *looks* happy. But everyone looks happy on facebook. I really do hope she's doing ok and has managed her demons well.

Username: antisocialmedic