Knew a guy when I was in the Army. He was given one job: organize these radios by serial number. He walks back in the office "Got it done." One of the higher ranked NCO's looks at him "Already? Damn that was quick. Were they already in order?" He replies "Yeah pretty much, I mean most the radios were on the list in the order, I only had to throw two away."
Me being the commo guy "Wait, what?" He replies "Yeah, two weren't on the list so I threw them in the dumpster outside." I pause for a few minuets and start laughing. "OH great joke man!" He replies "What I'm not kidding." I jump out of my seat "You are telling me that you threw two *secure* radios in the garbage? As in, committed a felony act, that, by and large can land you in prison.
Two radios that cost over 10 grand a piece? That you are signed for?" He starts to get this angry expression on his face "I cannot go to jail for throwing way something that I don't need!" I just start yelling "GO BACK AND GET THOSE RADIOS, NOW!" (As it should be noted I don't out rank him) He starts trying to fire back off at me, I just shout overtop of him "NO! I SAID NOW!" The original NCO, who gave him the orders, hears the commotion and comes in there. SGT Dipshit lies to the the NCO over my section, (The one that was giving him orders.) "OK, lets look at what you did." We go into the other room, none of the radios are organized, for some reason he broke into three different storage lockers, which we later ensured he didn't steal anything out of.
Found the radios, dumped them onto the floor, didn't organize them, and threw the first two on the list in the trash. The NCO of our commo section looks at him "How does organization work? How do serial codes work?" He looks at him dumb founded and says "Well if the paper says 2AFC, you get any radios out with the letters/numbers 2AFC on them regardless of how they are on them." Me and my NCO look at each other like "wait, what, no," I hand him a piece of paper "Show me what you mean."
He proceeds to write on the paper basically that if something even has a 2 in it, from a serial code, well include that because it has the 2 your looking for. Upon handing the paper back to me he says "Yeah I mean clearly I'm doing this right." So my NCO starts looking through the radios expecting he at least alphabetized them.
Nope. Not in the least. In fact they were less organized than when I put them in storage. Me and the NCO over my section just stand there looking at him, and each other like "what the fuck is going on." Well thats when we realize, this dip shit *really did* throw away two radios that are supposed to, at all times, remain secure.
So the NCO of my section looks at him and just says "So when SPC [Me] was yelling at you to go get those radios why didn't you?" He starts completely chaning the story, that all three of us were there for. As in radical changes. The radios were actually organized, he didn't throw any of them away, I yelled at him insulting him ect. I mean to the point of being delusional. My NCO just lays into him, makes him sprint to the dumpster that he threw them away in, jump in the dumpster, and dig them out.
He had that guy in tears, like having a mental break down. (If that by any chance sounds harsh, both of them could easily have gone to jail for a few years over what happened.) Every day from that point forward, that NCO made someone check everything he did, and if he fucked even the slightest thing up, he was ordered to tell them "I am a complete fuck up, assume everything I say is wrong, or that I am a liar. Don't look at my rank, you out rank me."
He then had to take the rank off of his chest. Well, the guy takes this to the chain of command. Long story short, he had to get his head checked, because about 1/3 of the way through getting the NCO of my section in trouble, our chain of command realized something was seriously wrong with this guy. So he gets his head checked, and turns out? nothings wrong with him.
As far as we could figure he just didn't want to do work, and thought that fucking up really bad would get him out of it, or he was that stupid. None of this was released to us, but basically if you will get kicked out of the US Army if you have mental disabilities.
Well our unit decides to figure out which it is. He had to repeat tasks repeatedly until he got them right. He spent an entire 3 months working 12 hour days attempting to learn how to use serial numbers. Then when he failed another task, 12 hour days again. He wasn't faking it, he was just that fucking stupid.
I don't know how, but that guy is still in the US Army.
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