This was one from my uncle from early in his career. Mostly its dumb because of the injuries the guy sustained
My uncle and his partner at the time were patrolling the highway. The city that he worked for was a decent enough place, but the city next door was known to have a bit of a problem with drugs. As they were driving, mind you it was late afternoon, they notice a man on a motorcycle driving kinda erratically. They light him up, and he gradually pulls over.
My uncle is not a tall man, but he's a former amateur powerlifter and ex marine. Pretty much a bulldog of a man. His partner, who was a few years senior on the force was taller, but not quite his match in strength. All in all the two of them should have been enough to handle most people.
However, as they pull the motorcyclist over, they note that he is probably in his 40's, standing in the mid 6 foot range, and a comfortable 300 lbs. They get out, and the biker gets off his bike, and lets it clatter to the ground. He starts towards my uncle and his partner. They tell him to stop, he doesn't, and instead charges them, roaring like a fucking minotaur.
It was at this point that they realize a few things. First, that comfortably 300 lbs is a whole lotta muscle. Second, he's probably on some serious drugs(they later decided it was likely pcp, you'll understand later).
This was prior to the days where cops carried tasers, not that it would have done much good. For reasons unknown to me, they didn't draw their service weapons and gun him down. I'd assume its because he wasn't actually armed, but then again 300 lbs of drug induced angry biker gorilla seems reason enough to me but I'm not a cop, so what do I know.
Anyways, they proceed to have an all out brawl with this guy. My uncle swears that they beat the brakes off this dude for 5-6 minutes straight to no avail. Broken ribs, night clubs to the face, knees, arms, and not only was he not going down, but he just seemed more pissed off.
Finally my uncle's partner jumps on this guys back, pins his arms behind him, and my uncle takes the stubby end of his night stick and hooks the guy in the temple with it.
As someone in medicine, I can say with some surety, this should have damn near killed him. There's no way that it didn't fracture his skull regardless of how Neanderthal-esque he was.
Despite that, the brute is still breathing on his own. My uncle and his partner are exhausted, battered, bleeding from a dozen different places. They cuff him, drag his leather chaps clad ass to their cruiser, and toss him in with all the vigor of Ron Jeremy after running a 5k.
They get in, call in to the station and let them know that they are en route, and take off down the highway. I wish I could say the story ends here, but it doesn't.
At this point they have gotten up to speed on the highway, about 65mph here, when they notice this gigantic lurch lookin sombitch is waking up. They know that once they get back to the station, it'll be another huge fight, but at least they'll have a few extra sets of hands to handle it. Well, as Jimmy the not so gentle giant comes to, he decides that he's none to keen on the idea of being placed in a jail cell.
He manages to get out of the cuffs, and if anyone is curious, this is not humanly possible without either A. Officer error(I'm told this was not the case), or B. BREAKING HIS OWN FUCKING HANDS! He then proceeds to bust out the window of the cop car, no easy feat considering those things are supposed to be bulletproof, and launches himself out of the car while it is still going 65 mph.
My uncle slams the breaks, takes one look at his partner and they both resign themselves to the fact that there is no goddamn way they are gonna try and catch this leather clad titan again. They put it out over the radio and returned to their station, battered, bruised, with a busted ass crown vic, defeated by King Kong hopped up on dust.
Username: Fbogre666