My mother enrolled my family in Reiki classes when I was a teenager. My dad and I went to classes on our own, my mother took my sisters to theirs, and we were all together for the final attunement.
[For some background, Reiki is a chi healing practice that originated in Japan around the turn of the century. It is a kind of laying on of hands, though it can work remotely. There are 3 rites or "attunements" that are given to initiates. The first and second attunements give the initiate the different levels of healing touch they are able to use. The third attunement, which comes with the title of "Reiki Master," gives the initiate the ability to train and attune others. It's a lineal practice... genuine Reiki can prove a lineage to the original discoverer, Usui. Traditional Reiki in Japan was a situation somewhat reminiscent of Edgar Cayce's spas... Healing was provided at low or no cost to those who needed it, in a retreat environment, at the hands of an entire staff that had trained to know what they were doing. Healing was guided, supervised, and comprehensive. Attunements were given over the span of years, and initiates were tested with regards to their personal readiness. Not every practitioner was a master.]
[Sometime in the New Age movement (60s? 70s?), an American convinced a Japanese to give them the attunements. Maybe it was two or three Americans. They went through the official training, but one of them had a falling out, decided it was a crime to withhold the healing energy from the world, and flew back to America to attune Americans. It is through this one person, ultimately, that Reiki is available in the West. Responsible Reiki was cobbled back together by individuals who were already attuned, but had to research the origins, and build their own ethics around the technique. As restricting as tradition can be, when it works well it can be a powerful mnemonic for ethics. Reiki in America lost this, and built something else.]
We had weekly classes, and received attunements roughly at the end of each month, with the "Reiki Master" initiation given at the end of the course. (Our teacher did have a demonstrated lineage fwiw.) Honestly it was great. I got to bond a bit with my dad, who was always busy at work. I was always something of a spiritual agnostic, but Reiki was palpable. It took practice, and like a muscle would get stronger with use, but the feeling was real, both on the giving and receiving end. Working with others was incredibly synergistic; if you gave energy to someone who was also initiated, theirs would turn on and it would amplify from both sides. It was a calming influence.
There were some warnings; this energy passes through chakra meridians, so chakra imbalance can effect things. We were warned not to heal people who were intoxicated, or to heal people without their permission. We were told not to heal broken bones until they were set; things like that. But some of the warnings seemed overblown, and there were some really dark shadows hanging over the ethics chapters of some of the books. Tumblr-level "and if you do this btw you're evil"--but that was the end of it--kind of stuff.
Anyway, the family got together for the final "Reiki Master" attunement. I don't know who went first, but this was clearly a more powerful attunement than the others. I don't remember a whole lot of it, but it seemed like a bigger deal. My youngest sister, maybe she was 11, went last, or at least after me. It was sort of a churchy experience... those of us who were waiting or done were just sort of half waiting quietly half meditating. I just remembered when the screaming started. The most horrible awful screaming I had ever heard. Through the screaming, the teacher finished the attunement. The screaming did not cease. I was tired and anxious and confused, was told she had a bad reaction. We went home.
My sister was taken by screaming fits the next day. And throughout the week. It continued for months. She scratched and hit herself. She had visions of horrific atrocity. She heard voices telling her disgusting things. We had to collect all the knives, scissors and sharp things and store them at a friend's house. Psychologists eventually placed her somewhere near bipolar on the spectrum, but not directly diagnosable to a single condition. The only solution they offered were powerful broad-spectrum anti-psychotics, which my family declined.
In addition to continuing therapy and psichiatry, my parents contacted other mediums, psychics, and healers for help. I was not involved in much of this, so I only caught bits and pieces. There was an Amish healer they would go out of state to visit, there was a travelling European healer, there were numerous local psychics, a couple of shaman in the south american tradition. It was quickly determined that my sister had been possessed. There were several malevolent spirits, as well as one very powerful archdemon. The spirits were dispached in initial sessions. The demon proved more difficult. One psychic revealed that the part of the crown chakra that had to be modified during the attunement process was injured on my sister. For the rest of my family it acted like a check valve to let benevolent energy in. For my sister, it had let her ego energy out, to be feast on, and the door remained open, for all that might want in. They suggested early childhood head injury as the cause.
We remembered nothing of the sort. We requested hospital records. The records showed a nurse had dropped her off the birthing table onto her head. They had never told my mother.
Eventually, and this is at least 2-3 years later, a full-blown exorcism was performed, and I believe it was performed by the person who initially gave us the Reiki classes. This took care of the last of the possession issues. Her "veil" between the above and below is still thin... she hears and sees things she has to take time to shut out, but more occasionally, and less terribly. Coping has been a long process for her. She finished high school at an alternative school, a year behind. She started college, living at home, but couldn't finish. She's started working, at 24, but does not yet drive. She's intelligent, sweet, and funny, owns her anxiety problems for what they are and does the best she can.
Reiki was, for those 3 months leading up to that night, the best thing that had ever happened to me. It finally gave me the personal connection to spirituality that I had been waiting for my whole life. What happened really took that away. I've not been afraid to use healing touch, but after everything that's gone on, I just haven't, really. It mostly brings back bad memories. It still works, a trickle to the river that was. But a few months of practice and I could be back at full strength. When I feel a lot... compassion, or true love, my palms will start to light up to remind me that I have that at my disposal at any time. But the memories are hard to shake. One time I had a friend in college who had drunk themselves belligerent after a breakup. Despite the alcohol prohibition, I threw caution to the wind, did the signs and put my hand on their shoulder. They were fast asleep in minutes. Another time I sent distance Reiki to a friend who was late to meet me on a night tornados had been spotted. Fearing a breakdown, I imagined their car cupped in my hands. They arrived reporting that their dashboard lights and radio, dead for months, had suddenly turned on.
I don't doubt the beauty of what Reiki can be, but it pains me that in trying to achieve freedom of expression in spiritual, occult, and new age movements in the west, we have completely lost the communal structures that provide us with a support system in the case of things that go wrong. The way many people dabble in the occult is like someone learning that cars really exist, and then going out on the road at night without following any traffic rules. The archetype of the master, or the priest, is a functional one, and it's completely missing in our society.
I've been practicing Buddhism off and on, as it's the only even mildly esoteric practice near me with a real lineage and real ethics. But my history with Reiki and spiritualism is a part of me that wants resolution. I can't talk about this with normal people... I'm not your typical occult guy. I wear a shirt and tie, I'm nerdy, I don't have long hair. But I've not been willing to connect with anyone I've met within the occult community because all I see is dysfunction and diaspora.
I don't know what the answer is. Someday I'll reconnect with Reiki... there's a true Japanese-lineage practice out there but it's a months-long, thousands of dollars retreat. Someday hopefully. Thanks for reading.
Occultthrowaway3