I had recently moved to Israel, in a small desert town. Mostly soldiers and whatnot, and some older people who just lived very simply.
So the beginning of my time there was spent completing an ulpan, which is where you learn about Hebrew and Israeli/middle eastern history and culture, and various volunteer jobs. Now, I am an American; the only other American in this group just so happened to be the most embarrassing idiot I have *ever* met in my life.
He came from a Miami suburb. I'm also from Florida; people from Miami generally think they know more about the world than everyone else. "I'm from *miami* bro, I've seen shit!"
We're in the middle of the god damn Negev desert surrounded by some of the hardest working people, and he's standing around showing off his brand new iPhone (iPhone had *literally* just come out for the first time), wearing these orange reflector sunglasses, he's wearing shirts too small to show off his muscles.
Basically, all you have to do is close your eyes and imagine that you're standing 20 miles from the Gaza Strip, and you see *that* douche nozzle.
He went to an expensive college, and he was in Israel because he was about to go to med school. Was he here for the experience? No. Was he here because it looks fantastic on a resume? No. Here was here because
"*DUDE! Do you know how much MONEY I'm saving my Dad by not going to school in America? I'm saving my dad like, 100,000 DOLLARS, bro. Like that's a SHITLOAD.*"
Wow, how thoughtful, you're saving your *dad* money. Tight budget, ey.
It didn't stop there. I had to constantly listen to him talk about his workouts, how he doesn't jack off because he doesn't want to lose testosterone, all this shit. I would hear him talking to IDF soldiers who were home from the army for a while.
"I'm gonna get you *big*, bro. We're going to the gym." These people are physically and mentally prepared for war, and here's this rich, privileged ass moron going "HOW MUCH YOU BENCH"
One day we were sitting around just shooting the shit with our neighbors, who were soldiers who were back for the weekend. They offer him apple juice. He goes "no thanks. Did you know that apple juice is the leading cause of childhood obesity?" And then he had this look on his face, like "Wow, they're going to think I'm so smart.
I'm the best. Everyone loves me." It's pretty clear that up until that point, he was a 25 year old man who had always been surrounded by people who tell him "Wow, good job! Here's a gold star!" Meanwhile, we're all sitting there like, why the fuck is this guy talking about apple juice?
After I met my boyfriend, he kept trying to get me to go on a trip with him to Tel Aviv. I just kept making excuses, no I can't afford it. So he would counter that with "just call your parents." I can't call my parents. "Brah - just tell them you ruined your shoes. Just be like, I was on one of the ulpan trips, my shoes got all fucked up. They'll *have* to give you shoes, bro.
They can't say no to that, you need shoes. So they'll give you money for shoes." I suppose that, not only did he totally not respect the I had a boyfriend, but apparently, shoes cost the same as a weekend vacation in his world.
Because he was from Miami, he thought he had the street smarts to ask around people in the city of Be'er Sheba to see if anyone had any hashish.
I don't quite remember how or why I was stuck with him and someone else in the city, but he actually would tell us, "okay, it's that guy. *i got this*" and then he would walk up to complete strangers and ask them, in the *smooooooooothest* way, if they had any hashish.
Even the homeless guy surrounded by beer cans told him no. Seriously, every single person he asked was like "what? Fuck off."
This guy is now a surgeon. He performs surgery on people. He cuts people open and operates on them. Do you know how frightening that is?
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