I only really babysat once in my life, and never again. I was 25 or so, working for a research group at a university. The secretary was a nice lady, and had a horrible family emergency she had to leave town for a night. She was scrambling to try to find someone to cover her at home, because her kids couldn't be left alone even though they were 10 and 14 (which probably makes sense just given the ages). Anyways, I felt bad for her, I lived just down the street. I didn't have plans, so I figured, I'll be a standup guy. Big mistake.
She was a single mom, with two kids who she admitted were 'troubled', I had no idea how much till I tried to take care of them. I can't put together a good narrative on this, so I'll just give you the bullets of what I remember:
•The older of the kids had a 'date' at the movie theatre with some friends. His mother said this was okay, so I drove him, dropped him off. Spent the next couple of hours watching Super Troopers (which I hadn't seen before) with the younger kid who told me it was his favourite movie (and again, was okayed by the mom). So though the movie seemed questionable, I actually liked it a lot. Things are off to a solid start, easy street.
•The movie theatre (not the kid at it) calls and tell me I have to come pick him up or they are going to call the cops. I hear him screaming something I can't make out on the other side of the phone. I probably should have let him go to jail.
•Phone the mom, no answer, no answer the rest of the evening.
•Get my ass to the movie theatre. Turns out the kid got into a fight with his friend during the movie, and pissed on him (this theme will return later).
•The manager at the movies is pissed cause they have to clean up the piss. Wants the damage paid for, etc. I explain to the guy I'm just helping out, give him the home phone # etc. and he basically sides with me since the kid calms down.
•drive the kid back. Don't know what to say to him. The ride is mostly quiet till I get close to the house and smell smoke. the 10 year old had a fucking lighter and tried to light the back of one of the seats on fire (thankfully not my car, the mom's but still).
•I should have called the cops myself by this point, but it's one of those deeper and deeper things where you figure it'll just be over soon. It never ended.
•They wanted to watch Super Troopers again and order Pizza. I told them it was late already (it was 10 by now) and no. They told me there mom never says no and they were watching the movie. I wasn't sure exactly how to enforce anything on these kids so I said fine but no Pizza. One of them went upstairs and ordered a pizza when he said he was going up to use the washroom.
•I fell asleep. Woke up and one of the kids was trying to rob me (pull the wallet out of my pants). I caught him, did a WTF and he claimed he heard my cell phone ringing and was trying to answer it for me? Which was a stupid (did i mention, these kids weren't just bad they were stupid) because my cell was in plane sight on the table infront of us.
•When the pizza arrived I had no idea who was knocking on the door, given the kid failed to get money from me, he ran to the door and grabbed the pizza, pushed the pizza guy and then slammed and locked the door and told me we had "free pizza, we must have won a contest or something. how did they even know we wanted pizza?" (i opened the door and paid the guy, i wasn't sure what else to do).
•When the movie ended the said they were going to bed/agreed to it. Great.
•I slept on the couch downstairs. Actually didn't hear them till about 2AM when I heard a scream like someone got shot and then what sounded almost like gunshots from upstairs.
•Ran up the stairs, find the 10 year old crying and smashing a hammer into the door of the bathroom. Look at the other doors and find one of them is off it's hinges and there is something sticky on the ground and it looks like in the kids hair/face.
•Turns out the 14 year old waited for his brother to sleep, then poured a cup he collects his piss in on the kids head, then ran. The 10 year old somehow ran right through the door trying to get him and the 14 year old locked himself in the bathroom.
•I had to wrestle the hammer out of the younger kids hand. And he was livid he was going to kill his brother when he got out of the bathroom.
•The 14 year old slept in the locked bathroom.
•We cleaned the 10 year old's face/hair off in the sink in the kitchen, cause the other kid wouldn't come out. When we were cleaning him we heard the door opening, and the 10 year old tried to grab a knife from the kitchen and go up there to presumably make good on this threat. I managed to stop him.
•I locked all the knives and other things I found that looked like weapons in the mom's car. And I told the 14 year old to actually stay in the bathroom or he might die. Then I watched Super Troopers on an endless loop while the other kid passed out finally. I was too nervous to sleep. When the mom came home the next morning I just gave her the keys to the car, told her to ask her kids what happened cause I couldn't relive it. And good luck.
/billbapapa/