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People Are Revealing the Stuff That Made Them Decide Against a Second Date

Sometimes you just know.
Vlad Serebryanik | Stories
Published July 22, 2024
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1. I’m a Mermaid and You’re My Food

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I don't drink, or really go to bars and clubs and haven't for decades, so I'm not well versed in how much is too much alcohol; we go for a walk around the local area, and she constantly asks to stop off at local off-licenses (for those not in the UK, places that sell alcohol alongside food and other items), and I notice that she keeps asking me to pick up the tab and, at one shop, pads the bill when she thinks I'm not looking to add cigarettes too.

Should have confronted her there, looking back, but I'm trying to be fair and open minded. We stop in a lovely park nearby and she downs a can of something, I forget what and wouldn't have meant anything to me if I knew. We walk back to my place and she asks to pick up another 6 pack; she's drinking on the way, and drinks more inside, and by then even I'm starting to get aware that she's seriously drunk...

She asks to share with me some of videos that really mean a lot to her; she says she has a deep affinity with the mermaids from Pirates of the Carribean, and pulls up a clip of a scene... where the mermaids attack sailors, says to me "I'm a mermaid and you're my food!" *and then sinks her teeth into my arm right down to the bone.*

I go to the bathroom and lock the door, to staunch the bleeding, and wait for her to calm down. I eventually come out, and find that she's jumped on my bed so hard that she's broken the entire frame, and the mattress is lying on the floor.

By this point I think she's clearly too intoxicated to get home safely; people ask me why, if she lived not too far away, I didn't just boot her out and tell her to try and get herself home regardless, or even call her a taxi; which I probably should have done, but I was still trying to be responsible. I think let's just try and get through the night, and when she's sober enough I'll suggest it's time to go... I try and set up a makeshift bed on the floor, and she then proceeds to wet herself all over the carpet and sheets.

There's a few hours of drunken trying to make amends, and stockholm-syndrome trying to keep the atmosphere friendly, before around 6am I think she's at least capable of walking home and I politely suggest it's time to call it a day... I got a lot of drunken abusive texts for the next 12 hours or so as she realised no, there wasn't going to be a second date.

Still, at least she front loaded all the obvious issues; normally they wait until a few weeks or months to spring it on me... it's the only time I've actually had a single date and then no further, I don't normally do one night stands, but *that* time... Small mercies, eh?

Username: CMDR_Expendible
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2. Full on Sons of Anarchy

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It was the weekend of hell. I was under 21 (19) , fresh out of a toxic relationship and was needing a DD and attention. Very young and desperate, decided to get a hotel with this guy for the weekend. I know, desperate. I live in the south so most of this is trashy as hell.

We met at a restaurant, all was good, he was nice and kind of cute. Dark hair, beard and covered in grease. Kind of short but that was okay... but his voice was very high pitched. He paid for dinner.
Got in his car, found out he had no license. Get to the hotel of course things happen and I’m very unattracted to him. He had shitty tattoo of a cross and a browning tattoo on his arms, His moans were so girly but sometimes you just gotta push through.

Wake up the next day, he bought breakfast and decided to take me to his dads trailer....My mom was his dads home health nurse at one point and he stunk so bad of yeast and piss. Their trailer was filthy and hoarded to the brim. I had to stand there and listen to them fight and also help him clean his hoard in his shed and room. I don’t remember why. I kept holding out because there was a party that night my ex was going to be there and I wanted to piss him off (he cheated) AGAIN DESPERATE.

This mf changed into a FULL SONS OF ANARCHY GET UP. The hat, the vest, the rings, the belt buckle, the shirt..... it was humiliating. We showed up and I obviously kept walking away from him at the party and when he did get near me, he had his hands on my back and shoulders. Later that night he told me he loved me and gave me the cheapest fucking key chain that glowed colors and said I love you on it.

He took my drunk friend home though and supplied alcohol. Next day he took me to a car sales place to look at a BRAND NEW truck, all the bells and whistles. He acted like a big man with big money and it was so embarrassing when they ran his credit and it was BAD. You could tell the guy that worked there wanted to laugh.

Alas, there was another party and it was near my high school friends house. Again my ex would be there. It was a dump but it was the party house. He got SUPER drunk and fell in the floor. Showed his ass, still had the whole get up on. My ex was just laughing at me. I had to take him to my car to sleep and later I had to drive him to my house and sneak him in my basement.

Woke up, he spit fucking dip in the floor, I made him clean it. I’m beyond pissed at this point. It’s the last day finally. He knew I needed a new car at some point and said “baby I’ll co-sign for you and make the car payments” and I said nope. He took me to the large city an hour away from my home and TOOK ME TO A ZALES AND SAID PICK A RING.

I said I like this one but I’m hoping you’re not planning that because it’s way too soon. He said no just looking. Then took me across the street to a furniture store , told the worker there I was his WIFE and we just got married. We’re looking for furniture for our new house. I fucking wanted to hide away. I was ready to go home. I was in hell. I’m overly nice and I can’t say no, atleast I couldn’t back then.

We finally start leaving and I told him that wasn’t cool. He stopped at a gas station and bought me a carton of cigarettes ( I smoked at that time). Finally brought me home and then he came in and I expected him to leave but he stayed until 11pm ... just sitting there infront of my mom. Watching tv with us in silence.

FINALLY I say well I’m going to bed so... and we walk to the door and he says “baby, I called someone about seeing some apartments later this week” and I said okay I’ll think about it. Kissed him goodbye, locked the door and told him the next day I didn’t want to see him again.

Months later a girl wrote me and told me she knows him and he did the SAME THING TO HER. But she actually went and picked out a car and he never made the payments. She was left with a huge bill. I knew the minute he had the sons of anarchy gear on I hated him and was going to use him for alcohol, a DD and to piss my ex off. That’s what I get and I never did it again. Go ahead and roast my decisions at 19 I’m almost 26 now. Definitely in a better place.

Username: GlaucousKoi
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3. True Crime Nightmare

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I haven’t dated much, but I got a good vibe from this guy I met on Bumble. His pictures seemed okay and I was like okay I’ll see if we can meet up. Something casual so I don’t put too much pressure on it right away but I see him in person. (I can’t keep an online conversation going to save my life, so I thought better to get a sense of how I like them in person; see if we’re compatible)

I suggested a walk, about 30-60 minutes, nothing too strenuous and he was on board! We discussed the trail we’d walk, and I thought we were on the same page. This loop trail that wasn’t too hard, in a pretty public area, and had a cool rock outcropping they just put in. I figured safe for a first “date.”

Then I get there and he’s nowhere to be found. I get antsy and text him, he replies that he’s at Another Trail and wants ME to got to HIM (First red flag should have said no). But I’m stupid and was like “well I connected with him a bit, I’ll go check this trail out.”

Right away I have an uneasy feeling, it’s a part of town I’ve never been to. And I’m gonna be honest, my town is considered a big hub for meth and other drugs like that, and the park is near a bar where some of them hang out. So I’m on alert, but not too concerned. The trail looks okay at first so I’m excited to see it!

And then I see a big cloud come out of a car and see the dude I’m going to meet. I’m not a fan of marijuana so while it’s not bad it’s the second red flag for me. Still he saw me and I didn’t want to be rude, unfortunately, so I pull up. THEN I see his profile pictures weren’t totally accurate. He WAS in them, but it wasn’t totally clear it was him. I’m concerned.

We talk a bit and I try to get it going to end this as quickly as possible. Then we get to the start of the trail and I see a couple just out by their truck playing music pretty loud and people doing tricks on bikes. The couple make me nervous as I’m already on alert and they are being loud and obnoxious. Not bad on its own, but with everything else. I’m freaking out. Still going though!

Then the trail... not suitable for a first date. It was beautiful, don’t get me wrong. But there was low visibility, the trail was too narrow for two people, and there was abandoned benches and chairs. Every true crime watchers nightmare. And he kept walking behind me! I kept looking for a knife or something! Then he mentioned his dead grandpa who loved cardinals! And said that the one we saw was a sign of good luck. I was on high alert the entire time.

The walk goes by and we exit the trail. I relax a bit, until I see a SUV blocking the trail. I book it as fast as I naturally can and make plans to how I would avoid the car. Do I run to the river or into the tall grass? But thankfully nothing happened, he tried to get me to message him on Snapchat but that was the end of it. Dating is so weird

Username: kaykehoe95
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4. NO CHECKERS?!?!

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We went to a board game cafe, where they have every single board game known to man available for you to play while you have coffee/a drink/sandwiches. The staff is knowledgeable about all the games so they can give you recommendations and explain the rules. It was my go-to first date spot, though I did ALWAYS ask if they enjoyed board games before recommending it.

So first of all, he shows up almost 30 minutes late. Really bad start, but I was prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt. The waiter starts giving us the spiel about how the cafe works and this dude cuts him off and—in a *really* rude tone—goes, “Um I just got here. I need a minute to look at the menu before I order. Also where the hell is the alcohol on this menu???” (It was in the exact center of the menu.... btw, this is at 1pm on a Sunday).

Waiter leaves and I gently say, “I think the idea is that you play games *while* looking at the menu... unless you’re in a hurry or something! Ha ha!” And he replies in a really exasperated tone, “Well I can’t do two things at once!!”

When the waiter comes back, he goes, “I don’t want to learn anything complicated; do you have chess?” He then pauses, turns to me, gives me a super condescending look, then goes—“Ahh wait, maybe checkers. Do you have checkers?” I have never rolled my eyes so hard in my life.

So then the waiter goes “We actually don’t have checkers available right now,” and you would think he just strangled a puppy in front of us. Dude throws up his hands and half-yells, “A BOARD GAME PLACE THAT DOESNT HAVE CHECKERS?? WHAT IS THIS??” And then *does. not. let. up.* on the checkers thing for an embarrassing amount of time. “Do you need me to buy you a checkers set?? I’ll order one right now?” “Does your boss know you don’t have checkers??”

Finally the waiter is able to get a word in edgewise and goes, “No, sir, it’s just that two tables are currently *using* our checkers boards.” I could tell he was about to blow up again, so I quickly asked, “Do you have anything that’s really easy to learn? Similar to checkers?” And the waiter was like yes! We do! And ran away very fast.

When the waiter leaves, he started saying something about THE FUCKING CHECKERS SITUATION AGAIN, so I cut him off and go, “Ya know, I think people come here to play games they don’t normally play at home. That’s... kinda the whole point, actually.” The waiter brings the game to us, explains the rules, and we start playing until he gets frustrated that he can’t figure out the extremely simple game and gives up.

Highlights from the rest of the date:
- Spent 75% of the date bitching about his sister, his sister’s boyfriend, his boss, his roommate, his roommate’s cat, and even his MOM at one point
- Talked WAY too much about his sister’s alcoholism
- Didn’t ask me a single question about myself

- Left a 5% tip (I went back and gave the waiter a 30% tip and an apology)
- Ordered three beers AND a shot at 1pm on a Sunday
- Laughed at me for ordering tea because “tea is the gayest drink” (I’m a woman....)
- Asked what I thought the likelihood of hooking up today was going to be

After we left and he asked where we were going next, I said, “I’m sorry I don’t think this is going to work out; it was nice meeting you.” He texted me the word “bitch” about 15 minutes later.

Username: RambleOnRose42
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5. Nuke New England?!?!

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We agreed to meet at a beach bar. When I stepped out of my car, he basically ambushed me in the parking lot. His dating profile said he was 5'11. In reality he was shorter than me. First red flag: if he lied about something so obvious, what else was he lying about? He also had an NRA sticker on his car, an affiliation he had not disclosed.

I was already uncomfortable but felt too awkward to turn around and leave. We got seated and ordered drinks. Then he began to interrogate me. When I say interrogation, I'm not kidding:

"Your dating profile said you work in 'animal care'. So what specifically do you do in the 'animal care' field? [*I was working at a dog daycare at the time.*] How many dogs are under your supervision? Only dogs, no other species? And how satisfied are you with this line of work? Do you plan to continue this as a career?

Do you plan to go on to grad school? [*My answer: I don't know, maybe, maybe not*] So you don't have any drive or ambition, then? You feel you'd be competing with other students and they'd have an advantage over you? Do you like living here? What drew you to this place? How is this town is different than where you went to college? [*Answer: it's full of yuppies and old people; whereas Gainesville is a college town.*]

So, when you say 'yuppie', what is your definition of that term? When you say 'college town', what *specifically* do you mean by that? Have you ever been to Jacksonville or Tallahassee? How recently did you go there? What specifically did you do or see while you were there? [*I went to the zoo.*] So you like zoos, then? Did you like Jacksonville? [*Answer: I don't know.*]

So you hated it? Are you an only child? Any cousins? What do your parents do? Do they live in the area? Do you have a good relationship with them? Are they conservative? Do you consider yourself a conservative person? [*No.*] So you rebelled against your parents? Do you have any religious affiliation? What are your parents' religious affiliations? [Regarding the bar band:]

How would you describe this type of music? What *adjectives* would you use to describe this music? Do you live in an apartment? Do you have any roommates? Just you and the dog? Are you training your dog to be a guard dog and attack people? [*Uh...no?*] So he's docile, then? [*This line of questioning creeped me out a little.*]

How long have you lived in Florida? Have you ever been outside the state of Florida? What other states have you visited? Have you ever left the country? What other countries have you visited? Which one do you have the fondest memories of? Would you like to live there? Why?

Just because of the scenery? How did you feel about the people? Did you interact with the locals? Have you ever been to New England? Is it on your list of places to go? [*No, not really*] So you hate it, then? You want to see it nuked?"

WHAT. After nearly an hour of nonstop questions and my vague, non-committal answers, he finally starting asking me what was wrong. Again, I really wanted to be honest but I didn't have the courage to tell him to his face that he was an irritating douchebag. Finally he said "C'mon, I'm just trying to get to know you, baby, and have a good time!"

That was it. Him calling me Baby was the trigger that finally broke my awkwardness about walking out. I pretended to go to the bathroom and ditched him.

Username: TheCervus
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6. Is Your Gyno a Man or NOT?!?!

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The guy leaned over the table and asked (quite agressively and OUT OF THE BLUE) whether or not I had a male gynecologist. Being the recovering child of ultra conservative-ultra religious parents, I saw a major red flag. I was so caught off guard. Didn’t know the guy that well to be talking about that sort of thing, especially in an intimately small restaurant. There were other people eating dinner very close by who could definitely hear our conversation. Fortunately I was mid 20s and toughened up a bit from prior bad experiences. I even impressed myself with a quickly worded boundary. I told the guy, “That question makes me uncomfortable. Let’s talk about something else.”

He didn’t like my boundary. And he pushed. He remained leaning towards me, across the small table and said again, “Is your gyno a man or NOT!?” He was beginning to get angry. I was a bit shaken and reiterated, “That question isn’t appropriate for this setting.”

He got so angry and repeated himself a couple more times with more aggression each time I tried deflecting. In the end I held firm to my boundary.
I’m so thankful he showed his true colors on that night. There had been some signs before that I noticed, this was the final straw.

Later found out he was pursuing another woman at the same time. (Which I’ll be honest is fair game when no parties have made things official. It just felt slimy.)

She and I became friends, to his dismay, and he awkwardly continued to pursue her even though we had both agreed he was trash. We were all in the same circle due to a shared hobby and had to find a way to remain functional amongst each other. There was one social gathering with said crowd down the road. The three of us had chosen to remain casual friends and actually carpooled to avoid drinking and driving.

The guy offered to drive us all home that evening, all of us living in different towns within 1.5 hours distance. Us girls had decided to leave my car at her place (closest to event venue) and I would stay the night with her after drinking. The male friend (predator) had offered to drive us girls there on his way home.

I got a vibe on our way home that he might try to take advantage of the situation and I was 100% correct. In the backseat I secretly asked her (through text?) if she was worried he might try to come inside rather than just dropping us off. She said yes and that she really didn’t want him to come in. I could tell how nervous she was.

He proceeded to get out of the car and go up her steps so quickly that we couldn’t stop him, insisting that we brew him some caffeine for the rest of his long drive home. We said fine. He went up to her bedroom multiple times, making her feel the need to kick him out. So she followed him up and asked him to get out of her room.

He started groping her. Long story short I had to pretend I was excessively drunk and WEIRD. Made him so uncomfortable that he left on his own accord. 😂 Proud moment for myself again with the boundaries. Later learned that he had previously taken advantage of her. Seeing her break down crying made me so angry.

Username: PSherman42WallabyWa
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7. Everything But the Meat Locker

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I was only 19 and frequented a bar where they "thought" I was older with some friends. The bar was a cafe during the day. Think bodega sandwiches and shitty lattes made by an art school grad who still wanted to be in college two years after graduating with a masters.

The barista basically worked there during the day and then drank there during the nights while sketching in a little book while brooding at the end of the bar. Now tell me what kind of 19 year old girl isn't immediately into the sweet but emotional hot guy artist? I was into him and very confident so one day after getting my shitty latte I asked him if he wanted to make me dinner.

He was shocked and immediately agreed and gave me his address and we set a time and a date. I skipped back to my friends we were all jazzed. Since we're in a college area and we all rented rooms in houses or apartments or dorms I assumed he'd be in the same since I didn't know his age at the time. No. He owned a house his parents left to him he told me.

You know because they're dead and so is the rest of his family. Wtf? Everyone? I just felt bad for him. So we went to his kitchen and he offered me a 40 of malt liquor to pair with it but to start drinking before we ate. Fucking weird choice. Then while the Alfredo "sets" he decides to give me a random tour of his house.

It's just a house. Nothing special or exciting just a nice little three bed one bath. Then he takes me into the basement to show me where his roommate lives and the laundry. I asked if his roommate was home and he said no. I thought it was weird we were intruding but it was part of the tour.

Whatever. We get downstairs and there's two fucking metal walls connects to the basement walls. There's on door and a padlock on the outside. I made a joke asking if he had someone locked in because I was weird at the fuck out. He got incredibly serious and told me that his roommate was serious about safety.

I then made another joke asking why his roommate was so serious about safety if they lived in a nice house in a nice neighborhood and if there were three bedrooms upstairs, why did he need a room in the basement with a padlock?

He looked at me and just shook his head and told me that I needed to go upstairs. I'm feeling doom and gloom at this point. He follows me upstairs and we sit down on the couch together and I'm trying to plan my exit. I stood up to try to leave and then he insisted that we make out on the couch. So I panicked and said that my friend was coming to pick me up in about a half an hour.

Then he proceeds to insist that we eat the Alfredo that was "setting" up. I don't know why Alfredo would need to set up so I start to leave and then he asks me if I will drive him to get more 40s. I tell him sure and I walk out the front door getting to the driver side of my car that I drove there. He saw me drive there but he still for some reason believed my friend was picking me up and I drove off.

My only true regret from that date was that I didn't call the police and report that he had a cage in his basement. Go forward a week and we all go back to the bar. I was very reluctant but being 19 and my friends thought I was exaggerating I went.

Almost immediately he bombards me and he asks why I never called or texted and told me how upset he was that he had to walk to get his 40s and I didn't get to meet his dog. Where the fuck could the dog have been? I saw the whole house except inside the meat locker in his basement.

Username: thisisnotmyname711
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8. No Thanks at a Nude Beach

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I am not really choosy when it comes to other peoples appearance, I'd rather go for personality. But this guy did lack both. This was about 15 years ago and I still remember.

In his profile pic (we met in a chatroom and added each other on Facebook before meeting) he looked like an average guy. When we met irl he was about 15 years older (I was ~20 and he looked ~25 in his pic and ~40 irl). It was a shock for me, but more like... why would you lie about this?

He took me to our local river/stream and first we were drinking some raspberry sodas in a little beachbar. I had to pay for both our sodas. No problem, it wasn't much. When I opened my wallet and he told me my full name (more like he read it from my ATM card, which is super creapy) and told me he works in journalism.

Afterwards he took me to an FKK (=nude) beach at the local river. I didn't undress. It was 34°C and pretty hot. But sure as hell was I sitting there in my long leggings and cardigan. He ask me if I didn't want to undress. I was like "no I'm good".

He asked me for a blow job and I repeated "no I'm good". I just sat there on a tree trunk and smoked. Nothing happened on this day. He tried to meet me a few other times, but I said no all the times. We chatted on FB messenger a few times, but never met again, but I never unfriended him.

You think that was over? Not yet. Fast forward 3-4 years, I was bored in the evening with all my flatmates and friends on vacation or otherwise busy. I asked on FB, if anyone wanted to go to a rave party (it was more like psytrance but I dont think that matters here), he was the first to comment. I declined politely as a few moments later a friend of my friends messaged me privately that he would go with me.

And even if he wouldn't, I would never go with the creepy guy. I had never met the friend of the friend but my friend told me about him a few times and he seemed like a chill guy, around my age and was into "trees" as well. He did comment on my post as well, but it was just "PN".

The creepy guy lost it. He was angry that I go with "this young boy I never met" when we did already meet one time. He was accusing me of "rubbing it into his face", when I just wanted company on the party and fun. I lost it as well and told him how creepy he is and that I haven't even heard about him in 4 years and how I want to keep it like that. He did heavily criticize my appearance (back then, I was kinda hot, but I didn't feel this way) in combination with my love for the trees.

Even if I was insecure, I never was the quiet one. I told him how he tried to catfish me and how he wasn't in a position to talk about other people's appearances. I told him i didn't enjoy that one time we met. He went to the party with another chick who is "much better than me and has more class". I didn't care.

The last thing I read before I blocked him was something like he just wanted a bj and he got what I wanted - which left me confused, he never got one from me. But at least he was blocked. At the party he left when we arrived and didn't see me. Those parties only start at midnight. I had a blast.

Username: radikal_banal
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9. “32C”

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Just before I moved country for University (Jesus Christ I just realized this was over 20 years ago) I had some down time and a friend of a friend suggested that I be a rebound for her older friend in the capital city of my country.

So we texted a little bit and extremely young me was blown away when she described herself including "32C". Because, hehe, boobs. So off I go to the big city and I book into a cheap hotel for two nights on the main street.

Because this was pre-whatsapp and texts were SUPER expensive etc... we literally met under a famous clock at a prescribed time. She wasn't mind blowing by any means but, y'know, boobs. We grabbed a drink and some lunch and she spent the entire time talking about her ex. How handsome and muscular he was. How smart and successful he was.

But I hung out because... yep. So I think she was testing me. Because the next step was frankly insane. She brought me to card/gift shop and asked me what I thought of a selection of cards for her ex's birthday. To be honest, at this point I realized this was going absolutely nowhere but I had two days to fill in a city where I knew almost nobody.

I made it kinda clear that she was still hung up on this guy obviously and there were no hard feelings. I'd go to the cinema or something to fill my time. Oh no no no. She said "wait, I thought we were going on a date?" And my young brain was screaming: "I paid for lunch, was that not a date?"

So we agreed to meet that evening to continue the date. So we met a bar, had a few drinks and there was literally zero chemistry. It was fucking painful. But young me was not great at saying no so we moved onto a nightclub.

Fuck it, maybe I could hook up with someone there eh? But she clung onto me like dear life. To the extent where she would wait outside the gents. I was getting quite drunk now anyway so while it was a a nightmare I still enjoyed myself because alcohol.

After an entire night of basically just standing/sitting next to each other she clearly realised that this was going to be the end of it unless she took action. So she kissed me super aggressively. And I was into it because young/drunk/horny/boobs.

But then it turned into a fever dream. I think she had drank too much and started to believe that I was her ex. Because out of nowhere she absolutely tore into me as we were walking to the late night chipper. I never considered her feelings, I was cold and distant, I never talked about the future with her...

Super fucking weird. So I got the chips and said: "OK bye!" while severely questioning my life choices.
But she had a psychotic ace up her sleeve: "You're just going to leave me here on the street?! I don't have money for a taxi! I'd have to get the night bus!"

Young me, incapable of not at least trying to be the good guy comes riding to the rescue. "Well, the crappy hotel room is a twin so you can sleep there until morning...." But the fever dream doesn't stop there...

We're both in awful moods getting back to the room so I basically just collapse into bed and stay there.
I hear fake crying but fuck it. I eventually get off to sleep. And then at some ungodly hour she's in my bed back with the aggressive kissing and not wearing anything. And yes, this could be construed as assault but again young/horny/boobs.

So we did the deed but the final blow is yet to be delivered... We're going at it doggy style and and she says "can you just cum and be done with me?" Fucking ouch. I did not cum.

So she gets up like she's just off to the fucking kitchen for a glass of water, gets into her own bed and goes to sleep. I wake up the next day and find a note: "That was so much fun, looking forward to tonight already." Suffice to say I bailed on day two in the city and lost the money on the hotel.

Fun fact, she texted and called me so endlessly that I had to change my first ever phone number to get away from her. I'm still bitter about that because a lot of my friends still have the same number to this day.

Username: Theanswerwasnever42
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10. From Sassy to Shell Shocked

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This happened to be my first date ever, it was a double date with my best friend at the time we were 16. We both had a girl to go with and the day of, my friend gets a text saying something came up and his date couldn't make it. As I was heading out the door to go get this girl for our date and im running a few minutes late she sends me an email. I didn't know she didn't have a phone yet as we'd planned stuff in person and I hadn't remembered to ask for her number.

The email in short said, "My mom just told me I have to have a chaperone that's at least 18 there because she has a feeling *you* will try something inapropriate. If we can't get chaperones I can't go."

I was religious at the time and well liked by pretty much every adult who knew me or of me because I was basically the perfect example of a good religious kid who treated everyone well and was always happy to lend anyone a hand. In addition we were just going to watch a movie and grab snacks at the local mall.

Well my best friend manages to bribe his two older siblings to take shifts to make sure we have a chaperone so the date can still happen. We'll we get there, the movie was canceled, so we wandered the mall for a bit. Things were actually really fun for that. We had a good time, she was even flirting with me a bit.

My friend and his sister decided to give the two of us some space but kept an eye on us so we wouldn't get in trouble. Teenage me thought this meant we were going to xate more and maybe be gf bf eventually because she seemed really into me like I was I to her.

Then something comes up for my friends sibling and she has to leave us alone for less than 5 minutes before the other sibling can arrive. That will be relevant later. Once the other sibling arrives the vibe on the date, which up to thay point was rough but still okay for a first teenager date, fizzled out.

She basically stopped talking, got weird and was acting uncomfortable. My friends brother ended up dragging us around because we had to have a chaperone and he'd call her mom and say we ditched him if we didn't follow him around. He didn't take us home until nearly midnight when the date was supposed to be over between 9 and 10.

Last comes the fallout. Because we were alone for no more than 5 minutes and I didn't get her home till nearly midnight (They disnt care friends brother made us stay out that late), by which time her hair had gotten a little messed up by the wind, her parents were convinced I forced her to do some thing inappropriate and then lie to her parents.

They never specified what, and never let her be in the same room as me again without them present. School schedules were changed because of that. They also tried to ruin my name to anyone they could. Nobody ever believed them luckily.

I did run into her again like a month ago, sadly it seems her parents ended up rubbing off on her. She wasn't anything like she used to be, kinda off, she seemed almost shellshocked and juat kinda not there anymore, nothing like the sassy outgoing and adventerous girl she had been. I feel sorry for her idk what happened but it was bad. I do kinda suspect her parents though.

Username: Wumba_Chumba1246
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11. Multi-Level Marketing Pitch

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So I matched with a girl on one of the dating apps (probably Tinder) and we chatted over the app and decided to meet up for a date. We met halfway and had a good dinner, which I paid for, then went for drinks afterward, which she paid for.

She paid by credit card and I saw her last name (it’s the same as my maternal grandmother’s maiden name and is an extremely rare last name, especially in the US, and no we weren’t related) and this triggered a realization that I’d met her before a few years prior at a friend’s birthday dinner. She was married at that time but had since divorced. After this revelation we realize we had even more in common and hit it off even better and scheduled a second date.

Anyway, for the second date she invited me to some event of hers. She was very excited and nervous about it and said it’d mean a lot for me to be there and support her. So I arranged to take off from work a bit early to get there in time but then got stuck in horrible traffic. So I’m feeling terrible and texting from the car and she says it’s fine just let her know when I get there.

So I arrive and it’s at some big office complex, the kind where there a bunch of units all rented out to a bunch of different small companies. She comes out to get me and introduces me to this guy who she said is her mentor, which I thought was a little weird. Then we go inside to one of the offices. He, with her help, proceed to pitch me on some pyramid scheme to buy products and sell them and sign up people down the line from me.

Typical multilevel marketing pitch. Then as part of the pitch he says, “So where are you taking her for dinner tonight?” So I said we hadn’t decided yet. And he says well if you sign up you’ll start making serious money and can take her out for $10,000 dinners all the time. Now at this point I’m not interested in further dates with her, but even still after that kinda comment no matter what kinda place I take her to it’s gonna seem cheap.

The pitch went on for about an hour or so. I wanted to get up and leave but at this point thought it was kind of funny, and also because we had several mutual friends didn’t want to get a bad rap. Obviously I declined repeatedly to sign up for anything that day.

Anyway, we did go out to eat immediately afterward at some cheap Thai place since I was starving after work and being stuck in traffic and sitting through the pitch. We split the bill. No further dates after that.

I told our mutual friend about it later and he just kinda laughed and said yeah she’s kinda crazy. I wondered afterward though if she was just using the dating apps to lure guys in to pitch them and try to sign them up for the pyramid scheme.
Username: I_M_Zen
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12. Feeding Me With His Baby Hands

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He would not take no for an answer when I said I didn’t want to try his pasta. He kept trying to feed me off of his fork and I had to physically knock the fork away from my mouth. He told me how he played guitar and I said, “I’ve always wanted to learn, but my hands are small so it’s too hard to hold the strings down.”

He replied he had really small hands. I said, “No, mine are freakishly small, like baby hands.” He then held his hand up - it was the same size as mine. Which would have been fine/funny, but it was just so awkward because then he blurted out that they make his dick look bigger. He insisted I hold his hand when crossing the street.

Insisted I wear his gloves (I was convinced he wanted me to wear them home so he’d have an excuse to see me again.) And when he called to ask me out again and I told him I didn’t think we would work out, he asked to be friends. I replied, “I appreciate that, but I have enough friends thank you.” So then he asked if I could recommend a good book now that he will have so much time on his hands?

He also then texted me and asked what my favorite pie was because he wanted to send one to my work. I was a teacher and 1) don’t like pie unless it’s ice cream pie and 2) did not want him knowing where I worked. He lost his mind. Called me up and left a message screaming that he’s a nice guy and he knew I was worried his dick was small since he has small hands and he’d show me.

I have never had to type “hands” so much in one paragraph. Another guy took me to a movie and then sushi (beforehand we had discussed how it was a mutual favorite restaurant). We sat down, ordered drinks, waitress comes I order some sushi. He orders.... Nothing. Said he wasn’t hungry.

I felt so awkward and confused eating sushi while he just sat there. (Not a money issue, drove a Range Rover, lived in a very expensive part of town, etc.) I insisted on paying the check since he just had a few drinks - and at this point I was going to suggest we call a taxi home. He gets up to use the restroom first. Comes back with white powder visible in his nose.

I told him I’d be getting a ride home. He was confused, but said ok. A week later he texts me he is in the hospital and could I visit. I bought him some magazines and went to go drop them off. He wasn’t listed anywhere? I called. He said they just discharged him. I dropped the magazines and some candy at his front door (because after knocking and ringing the bell he never answered).

Called our mutual friend, “Oh, yeah he has a major pill problem. He was probably there trying to get drugs and since he used to be in med school (but had recently been kicked out of the program - he had told ME he was taking a semester off) he’s apparently pretty good at it.”

Username: likeitsnotyourjob
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13. Testing Kit For Kisses

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So I matched with this dude on Bumble. His pictures were really good so I was really excited. We decided to meet up on a weekday at his place, which wasn’t my first choice but it was back when every place was under lockdown. We speak on the phone before then and he reveals that he put a fake name on his profile because apparently he gets stalked a lot. Hmmm... there is a thing called a reverse image search, so you can easily be found if someone wanted to stalk you, but whatever, I tell myself.

Cut to the day of the date. I take the subway and am supposed to meet him at the station. I see him and I realise that girls get a lot of flack for using too many filters on dating apps, but guys are more represented in that category than we think. Whatever, inner beauty is what matters, I tell myself.

We go to his house and this guys is LOADED. He lives in a big apartment, in a very expensive part of town, in a very expensive town. We go upstairs where his living room is, and the guy begins to take something out of a brown paper bag. I ask, what is that? He responds, this is a COVID testing kit, you have to take it. I’m shocked and frozen.

All I can do is take out my phone and send my location to my friend, asking him to check on me in a bit. I should also point out that we were on the second floor of his house and having watched too many true crime documentaries, my mind reached all kinds of conclusions about what might be there on the first floor.

I take the test. Needless to say, I test negative so we can proceed with whatever this is. He did not take one nor offered to do so. I’m just supposed to take his word for it, obviously. I’m a serial people pleaser and socially anxious so IDK how to excuse myself. After all, he had cooked us dinner and the soufflé I brought for dessert was amazing too. I stay there, uncomfortably shifting on my seat, trying my best to keep up the conversation.

Then we finish eating and I still haven’t figured out a way to leave. We were at the table until now and he suggested that we move to the couch. The moment I sit down, he tries to go for a kiss, quite aggressively, and I push him away. Dude, you do know that antigen tests are not 100% accurate, so there is a chance that you could still be getting COVID if you make out with me, is what I think in my mind.

I finally say that I need to leave, for it’s late and it’s a school night. I reach the station and I call my friend letting him know that I am not locked in a basement somewhere. And after all this, the dude keeps texting me and asking me to go out again weeks afterwards. At the end, I literally had to tell him why I don’t want to see him again and of course he went all nice guy on me.

Username: RawRamen_
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14. Dave & Busters & It Gets Worse

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I agreed to meet up with some guy for dinner and then for games at a Dave&Busters. We met for food which was ok, nothing spectacular, but then he started insisting that I leave my car and that he would drive. I declined and he accepted that but once we got to D&B he started touching me... a lot.

I have my reasons for being opposed to touching and PDA (its a very very big thing for me to trust and feel safe for someone to be allowed near my bubble). But he kept sticking his hands in my pockets and trying to lay over me when we were playing pool, and grabbing my thighs and like wrapping around his arms around me and holding me, and then just grabbed me and kissed me at one point.

When we left for the night he kept wanting me to come home with him... which I had already decided not to earlier that night and was trying to subtly and safely end the date as best as I knew how at the time. My response at the time was try to ease out of it and try to take the path of least resistance (I didn't know about the "angel shot" signal).

Well je wanted to stay until close and when we leave to go to the cars... he follows me and insists on hanging out and talking because I wouldn't go home with him. At one point, he straight up pins me to my car hood and lifts my leg up and forces himself between my legs and starts trying to lick my tonsils.... yeah.... I was scared and pissed and I didn't want a scene.

In hind sight I shouldn't have gone to D&B in the first place, but I was still learning how to hold boundaries and trust myself. But I was able to talk myself into going home, thankfully he didn't try to follow me, and I messaged him thanks for the date but we weren't a good match and I hoped he found someone who was a good fit for him... and at that point he started relentlessly blowing up my phone with texts, calls and, messages for the next week.

It was a variety of messages from just asking how I was, to begging and pleading for a change so he "could treat me like a queen", and then cussing me out about how much of a whole and gold digger I am (I offered to pay for all of my stuff) and that I was an ungrateful bitch and all the normal tantrum bullshit.... So I finally picked up a call on my way from work and told him to shut up and listen...

I proceeded to tell him what I really thought of his childish and abusive behavior as well as I let him know that I know how police reports and court systems work (which I did) and that he had given me enough evidence to charge him with harrassment and if he dared to try to contact me again in any form or fashion I was going to get a restraining order and press charges. So thats how that went!

Username: thecussingcouple
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15. Murder Clown Man

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Before I met my husband, I went on quite a few dates from the myriad of Apps ™, some fun, some horrifying, as it usually plays out. This was the worst one, I think.

I matched with a guy and had great, easy going conversation— he wrote screenplays on the side and genuinely seemed like a cool, creative type! I have a background in theatre, so we connected right off the bat. We agreed to meet and, almost immediately upon sitting down at the bar, that I had “inspired” him to write a new screenplay, which he wanted to share with me.

Mind you, we had only been chatting for about a day or two— hardly any real substance beyond typical getting to know you’s. Despite this, I had somehow “inspired” this man to write a script— I figured, hey, I can be someone’s muse. Creative types, right? I had brief, vibrant dreams of being the ultimate actress/screenwriter duo, and inquired about the screenplay.

He wrote... a horror film! A horror film about a young woman who, after going on a first date, is horribly tortured by said date. :) You’d think I would have ran, but I really wanted to give him a chance given this was NOT at all the vibe I previously had gotten. I gaslit myself: “Ok, I like scary movies— maybe there’s a twist? Surely there’s a twist, and it ends up becoming a love story, or something!”

Unfortunately, he proceeded to go into detail of how he visualized the gore with extreme detail, which finished with a lovely and drawn out murder of the woman. It was so disturbing that other patrons were giving side eye and becoming obviously uncomfortable; horrific alright, horrifically embarrassing! He mentioned he would “love to have me do a line read”, which I politely declined.

I found an excuse to leave and he felt it necessary to walk me out. He pointed out his car and offered a ride, which I would have declined anyway but, after a closer look, ABSOLUTELY refused. The dudes car had:

Clowns. I shit you not. Clown dolls in the seats, clowns drawn on the hood (poorly), clown decor... CLOWNS. I still feel like this had to have been a hallucination, because what the actual fuck. I never did get to ask about this, and it was SO out of left field.

The /entire/ front end was smashed, like to a point where you’re not even sure the thing would run. I also noticed that his airbags must have deployed, as his steering wheel was duct taped back together.

He insisted on driving me home, so I faked a phone call (I am so not even kidding) and awkwardly walked back into the bar, where I hid in the bathroom until I could get a friend to come help. So, I decided to not move forward with the murder clown man. I feel it was a good choice.

Username: darbydiddle
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16. Web of Lies!

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It wasn't even really a date - a friend (also girl) said she was hanging out at this girls house and I should come over. Ok nothing out of the ordinary - so I show up and the 3 of us chill for a while - good conversation, cool.

After awhile, they both have tinder up on their phones talking about how there’s not good / hot guys around here. Ok whatever girl talk. A few minutes later, my friend says she’s gotta go - ok fine, so me and girl I don’t know talk for a bit - just normal conversation.

Thinking I’ve outstayed my welcome since my friend left, I get up to leave - tell the hostess thanks for letting me chill, ask if I can use the bathroom before I leave. I take a piss, walk out, and she’s on the couch in front of me - naked except for her panties which she has her hand down “warming herself up”.

Ok fucking sweet let’s do this — so she stands up, we start making out, shits about to go down. She pulls away and says “wait I’ll be right back”. Ok no worries I’ll wait as long as you need (I think to myself). She comes out of the bedroom - now fully naked - eyes locked, walking toward me.

Laying on the couch now she’s taking off my clothes (I’m all about it at this point btw) - she starts saying how we have to hurry up because her husband just got off work and would be home in an hour or so. What. The. Fuck. So I said look, you’re super hot and I would, but I can’t.

Fast forward to like 6 months later — haven’t talked to her since (because I didn’t know her, never exchanged numbers or anything). I’m at a bar with a friend and she taps my shoulder. She says “offer is still on the table” and I just nervously laughed and went back to talking to my friend. Later that night, guy I don’t know confronts me that “he knows what I did”. I diffuse the situation, telling him legit she tried but I left (not a snitch but come on man).

Fast forward 6 MORE months - I run into HIM at another bar. I don’t really remember him, but he remembers me - says they broke up because she cheated, asks if seriously nothing happened, I tell him everything.

This is a huge dude I was honestly scared of, and he starts crying and telling me she did this dozens of times and he finally found out. I was apparently one of few (that he knew about at least) that didn’t just go through with it.

Felt super fucking bad for the guy, but honestly had she not said something about him I absolutely would have done it, and I suspect all the other dudes (or some anyway?) didn’t know either. Just a shit person she was all around.

Username: savageronald
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17. Work Was Beneath Her

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I was introduced to K at a huge bar I worked at. I had day job in IT but being broke I worked nights as a bouncer. K went to college with one of the bartenders. She was visiting Philly as she was about to move here in a few weeks for a teaching job. She was a farm town pageant girl and by far one of the most attractive people I've ever met. we immediately clicked and she kept me company at the door and talked about city-life.

we texted and talked a ridiculous amount over the next few weeks, everything was great, no red-flags. The late night chats were getting flirty. She was funny, smokin hot, single and interested. Life is good. The group of college friends from the bar and I helped her move in and get settled. the vibe with K was great all day and we all made plans to go the pub down the street.

We didn't drink much and were enjoying the dance floor vibes as we were both getting very handsy. As we're dancing, she's whispering to go back to her place. Life is very good. The dance floor was packed, and it included G who is a local 30M and disabled, he's with his younger brother. I know them, we're at a bro-nod level of acknowledgement. G was having a great time and doing his thing.

As she's walking by, K gets in front of G and starts clearly mocking him doing the Elaine dance from Seinfeld. It was outrageous and she is just laughing. G's brother is upset and makes a beeline to them, I move over to her while giving him a wide-eyed "I don't know WTF is happening" head shake. I prompt K to the bar to close our tab and ask what are you doing? you can't do that.

She replied that its just fun, he's probably going to go home and jerk off to that dance with her. I distinctly recall a moment where I considered the Barney Stinson Hot-Crazy scale from How I Met Your Mother. but this wasn't crazy, this was just an asshole. I went over and apologized to G and his brother.

I urged K that we should probably leave now. there wasn't much talking the rest of the night. it didn't come up until the next morning. I mention that she might want to apologize to G and his brother. they are local, you will see them around and its going to be weird. she did not see anything wrong with it. there was some back and forth on how that was offensive or not and the vibe was gone.

We didn't date after that but K was very much a part of my life for awhile. when she couldn't live on the teacher salary, her friends got her a job at the bar. She was an awful condescending human being. we were all hustling our way through our 20s and she made it clear this work was beneath her and just sucked at every task.

she quit after a year when she married a finance guy. They divorced a year later and she moved back to her farm town. This was 15 years ago, a quick FB stalk reveals she's right where you'd expect her to be in life.

Username: Decent-Shift-Chuck
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18. Entire Wine Bottle at the Movies...

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Classic tale. Girl was...not...what her picture looked like. She had good cropping skills lets say. Not a big deal. She was covered head to toe in Psoriasis. Not a big deal. She ordered 2/3 hard liquor drinks at 4pm on a thursday. Not a big deal.

The movie was a drive in and she drove a truck with a hatchback and it was mosquito season apparently. I got bit 50 times before we closed it. Not a big deal (turned out to be kind of a big deal as the next day i had some crazy hallucinations and obviously was itching like crazy).

She brought a bottle of wine to drink during our movie... A little weird but no big deal. She drank the whole thing. Mmm maybe a bit of a bigger deal. The movies end and we go to drive home, and ill be honest I haven't even driven with another person that wasn't family in so long i kinda forgot drunk driving was a thing. big deal.

We actually get to the street I'm on but the far end...and there is a DUI checkpoint. I shit you not. REAL BIG DEAL. She handled it like a champ, which normally would be a good quality (i think?) but she was so good at it it made me feel like she had practice lying to the police and or hiding her level of drunkenness.

We are allowed to go with no further checks. Somehow. Holy shit. We go back to my place and she invited herself in. I'm pretty much numb from fear after that dui thing so i guess I said yes although I don't remember it.

I am a terrible host id assume since i just sat there kinda wanting her to not be here but she straddles me and starts making out with me. Never had this happen before and kinda just rolled with it even though this was not my ideal situation. All i could think about was how the hell can i assure she won't crash on her way home while also...not...doing this.

I didn't figure anything out in time before she pulled my dick out. Luckily for me the only parts of her not covered in scales were her hands and mouth. So ya know. Adequately sized deal if i do say so myself. We're laying in bed and I have work in the "morning" (2pm) and she mentioned something akin to that as well but also showed no intention of trying to leave.

The scales are definitely coming off on my bed, it's a mess. Like holy shit. God bless all yall with this affliction. We lay there a while her talking, me with post nut clarity that isn't so clear... Eventually I get up the nerve to say I don't think i can sleep with anyone else in my bed.

Sorry. She's a little mad but leaves (i feel bad about this but it was a few hours and no liquor so...idk). I sent a "sorry not gonna work out " text when i got off work.

Username: themiz2003
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19. Out of Both Ends

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Well was going on a date with a girl off of Tinder, talked for a few weeks on the phone and decided it was time. Head to go pick her up 3 cities away, I start noticing I’m in the middle of nowhere, turn into her driveway and she says head to the back.

I come upon what I can only describe as a trailer park in the back of a house..she comes out and looks nothing like her pics but whatever I’m already here so make the most of it, she gets in the truck and we’re talking...she recently lost 128 pounds which I respond with a that’s awesome. Next she tells me she has a stalker...cooooool.

We pull up to the brewery/food trucks place and I see a construction truck parked out front and start to get a weird feeling..she says “OMG THATS HIM! DRIVE AWAY!” Great start. So she ask if we can go to the next town over for which I have zero plans for.

We drive to the next town and decide on a normal pub, we go inside and instantly talks shit about our server..huge red flag to me. So we get drinks and talk, server comes over and ask if we’re ready to order, I let her go first, she tells the waitress “I’ll take the spinach dip, beef dip, onion ring tower, dill wings and a side of fries.” I hand my menu to the server and the date goes “You’re not getting anything?” Shocked I only let out what my male brain could “Chicken tendies and fries” hahaha.

We continue to talk even tho I’m ready to take my ass back home and the food comes all at once..this girl has all these plates in front of my while I have a beer and chicken tendies. SHE TAKES ONE BITE OF EVERYTHING AND SAYS SHES DONE!

I pay the $100+ bill and we go, she ask me “what should we do now?” I say “Uhhh...ive cream?” We go to the dairy queen next door, walk in and I order “I’ll take a junior blizzard” she goes “Uhh I’ll have the banana split” of course I pay and we get our ice cream. She’s got this big ass banana split and I got my tiny ice cream.

Next I’m all out of ideas so we drive around and she ask if we can stop for smokes because she’s not feeling good...yeah idk. I stop, she gets her smokes and we go. She ask me to pull into a parking lot so I think woah this nights taking a turn......nope, she gets out and pukes behind a bush.

She gets back in and ask me to take her home and continues to apologize saying it’s not me or something. She runs in and text me that it’s coming out of both ends...and that kids is how I met your mother...jk. First and Last date after my divorce from tinder.

Username: Skeetskeet4510
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20. Wanna Touch It?

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This had to be nearly 20 years ago if not a little more. There was a club/bar place close by that my friends and I liked to go to. They had a cover band play on Saturday nights and it was a local band that was also pretty well known in my state. I was a college kid at the time in my 20s. The entire night the bassist kept eyeing me out. I was single and was like yeah this is nice, whatever.

I connect with this guy a little after the show and then at a later time on social media. He asked me if I wanted to come over one night. I was like yeah why not. He lived close by so I drove over around 11 pm or so. The first thing that really made me cringe is he had pictures of him and his freaking fiance all over the house. I didn't even ask. I just already knew.

We proceed to go sit on his couch where he tried to have a very mediocre conversation with me ...you know the kind where the dude is only trying to get in your pants so he asks you bland ass questions about your life that no one typically cares about. He started making out with me. I was already there so I'm like ok fine. Tried the whole going up my shirt thing. Nothing offensive.

Then out of nowhere he gets up and says, I'll be right back. I'm like alright. I sit there awkwardly looking at his walls, decorated with happy photos of him and his fiance lol. I literally felt trapped. Less than 5 minutes later he reappears totally naked. I know damn well I gave him a wtf look.

He sits down next to me and I do nothing. He looks at me with his flaccid dick and goes "wanna touch it?" I'm like not really lol. I admittedly laughed. So he starts yanking his own sht. I, not into it at all, get up and say I gotta go...leaving him to wank all alone in the dark, surrounded by photos of him and his fiance.

I couldn't have been more turned off to a damn thing in my life. Dude tried messaging me after saying he had a good time. LIKE WHAT???? HOW MY GUY? lol!! Never again. What a sht smear.

Username: GrilledCheeseYolo
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21. Little Black Box

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We met on Whisper and after some interesting conversations and pics, we added one another's phone number to text and talk otp. Eventually she sent me her address and I drove out to meet her.

Her home was a small brick home that wasn't necessarily in the best condition, and it's way in the back down a dirt road, in the woods. I step inside and there's very little light, generally not the cleanest kitchen I stepped into. Nbd, I can look past this. She appears from a room, we hug, and go sit on her bed.

As we're talking, she pulls out some weed and starts to roll up. While rolling, she asks me if I'd be interested in smoking and I explained no, that when I get high, I'm not the most fond of the mindset it puts me in as it's either anxiety or extremely sexually excited and I want neither of this right now (this is our first time meeting). She asked, "what if I just lock the door and hotbox you anyways"? I told her I'd leave. She laughed and just smoked while explaining that she plans to get me high and fuck me anyways.

Obviously, I should've left but I didn't. We continued talking and despite my hopes, this experience gets even more uncomfortable. She explains that a bit ago, she had a miscarriage. I tell her I'm sorry to which she responds, "I'm fine with it; I don't even know who the dad was". Wtf.

As she's saying more shit, I look around and see a mysterious black box being used to hold the door open. It looks like a box to hold a gun. I ask her, you know, if it's a gun. She says she doesn't know and that it belongs *to her boyfriend*.

She then explains that he sells drugs and sometimes gets really angry. Tf, I ask her when he's coming back because wtf, she says usually he's gone until 1800 but she isn't sure. Then she excuses herself to the bathroom. Keeping this short, I left. No second meet and we stopped talking that day. What even the fuck.

Username: OmarsDamnSpoon
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22. Massive Inhale

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First date with this guy I met on Tinder. He was super friendly and polite in message, profile on Instagram had no red flags.

We decide to grab some food before checking out a speakeasy downtown. He orders two dozen oysters. Seemed fine at the time, I love them. Found out he’d never had them, ended up coughing eating one and it got in my eye. Still totally fine, I laughed it off.

We get to the speakeasy, and it’s pretty full, so we end up sitting by each other at the bar. Out of nowhere, I feel something brushing my back in quick strokes. I had long hair at the time and it turns out he was playing with it by flicking his hand across my back to make my hair fly up. Not gently, like trying to get my hair to fly parallel to the ground.

He says I smell good and proceeds to sniff my shoulder. And he goes in hard - massive inhale, you can get it. I’m getting really uncomfortable at this point and trying to make eyes at the bartender to get some help. (I wish I’d had the courage to say something at this point, but I didn’t.)

It progresses to his hand literally in my hair and him sniffing the top of my head. He invites me to come back to his and check out the view from the roof (mind you it’s below freezing and it’s around 11pm.) I decline, call it a night, and say I need to get home. He offers to walk me to the train, which I also decline, but he does it any way. I tell him multiple times that I’m okay, but he won’t leave.

He comes with me onto the train platform, insisting on getting me home. I tell him that again I do not need help getting home. I know this isn’t the train he needs because I live in a different state, and he already told me he lived near the speakeasy.

I’m trying to figure out a plan here because it’s late and there aren’t people around when he proceeds to take out a camera and start taking pictures of me because “I’m cute”. So now I’m trying to block my face and find help.

I was a bartender at the time and fortunately my brewery was two blocks from home. I texted my boss that I needed help because a guy wouldn’t leave me alone and hoped he’d see it before I had to get off the train.

My date and I get off the train and I am taking him on a totally different route in the opposite direction of my place, trying to figure out my next move if help doesn’t come. Thankfully five minutes later, my boss shows up (6’7” German man) and says I need to come in and do some paperwork.

This finally shakes off my date, who leaves. I blocked him and reported him immediately. As for my boss, he’s the best and I bring him homemade meals all the time.

Username: LoveisBlindandsoamI
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23. Always a Stalker

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So, the date itself was fine. Look, I have no illusions about being anywhere close to a perfect 10, so this threw me for a loop. In the awkward hug goodbye after a nice dinner, there was the brush cheeks and peck on the lips kiss.

I don't normally do that ever, but it happened. Said goodbye, and thought it went well and might be future dates. Wasn't head over heels immediately, but liked the girl well enough after that.

Cut to the next night, I'm hanging out with a buddy of mine. Our typical MO is to get some coffee at a local bookstore before heading downtown for food and/or drinks and check out local bands, etc. The girl calls, asks if I'm free tonight. Sorry, already have plans with my friend, he and I are getting coffee before checking out bands downtown. She says okay cool, we say goodbye, and hang up. As my friend and I are leaving the coffee shop.....she walks up.

Now, up to this point, if she said like "Oh, sorry didn't realize this was where ya'll were at" or something like that, would be fairly reasonable. She says nothing...just walks up to us and glares at me. I awkwardly introduce her to my friend, and she asks where we're going next.

I make up something about needing to get my car, since I rode with him. She says okay let me get a coffee and then I'll follow you. Again, make up something about my car is at his parents' house which is like 30+ minutes away.

She says no problem I'll follow you. As she goes inside, my friend and I take off. She of course calls me a few minutes later....I don't answer, she doesn't leave a voice-mail, and she continues to call every few minutes...never leaves a message.

Over the next TWO WEEKS, she calls me every hour from about 8 am to 8 pm, AND NEVER leaves a message. Then it petered out to like...four times a day, then once a day, then stopped finally calling after about a month.

I was panicking trying to recall if I ever mentioned where I lived or worked, etc. Never saw her again, as far as I know. Still remains the most insane blind date I have ever had.

Thankfully, I met my wife a few years after that, and 12 years and 3 kids later, life is good and I never have to deal with the dating scene again.

Username: RTR_ChrisK
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24. Cellphone Enthusiast

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She asked to check my phone on first date like 20 minutes in. I asked what she meant, maybe she was a cellphone enthusiast. No, she wanted to check my chats and pictures. Obviously that was the moment when I decided to delete her contact, but I decided that I was curious enough to see where that was going and I had nothing to hide, so I obliged.

In that period let's say I wasn't very monogamous, and I used to be very clear about that with the girls I dated, but I still had not disclosed that to her because who starts a conversation like that, so she found chats with nudes and other libertine contents within seconds, as it was expected.

She put up a great scene, started to scream at me and act like we were married and I just cheated, and I was flabbergasted because... I can understand she doesn't approve my lifestyle, but we met twenty minutes ago, I barely knew her name.

So I asked (repeatedly) my phone back and told her that's not going to work because we had very different expectations. I left her super angry at the bus station and she went on screaming that she didn't wanna see me ever again, which was absolutely fine to me, because I treated girls like whores and she was not one of them, which was less fine because I treated girls with love and respect even in that period, but I wasn't going to argue.

So we leave it at that. In the next days she starts texting me that she forgives me even if I cheated on her (???) and that we can meet and talk. I explain again I'm not interested and that's ok.

She then calls our common friend that made us meet to tell him all this stuff I already told him, and asking if he could intercede for her. He couldn't of course, he kinda knew she was a bit weird but thought I could handle it and didn't warn me.

Then a week later out of the blue she texts me again and says that if I forgave her I can fuck her, but only in the ass. So I kindly declined this second date, I found her quite hot but no thanks. One of the most batshit insane experiences of my life with a girl, and I know plenty of batshit insane girls

Username: dododoestar
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25. 400 Knives

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Tinder date 3-4 years back, wouldnt stop showing/talking about her knife collection which was easily 400+ knives, even whipped out her favourite butterfly knife in a restaurant full of kids to show me and started flicking it around her hand.

After the entire date of her being extremely handsy with me (touching my hands, arm, running fingers through my hair, holding her hand on my inner thigh) I decided to touch her back for the first time after 3 hrs, by putting my arm around her shoulder while we were sitting down with her hand rested on my thigh, inches from my crotch.

Her immediate reaction was so scream at the top of her lungs "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING" while digging her very sharp nails into my face. This happened at a train station in Germany, which was very empty to my luck. I was confused, dazed, looking around because I know what it looked like, big creepy guy touching innocent girl. I had blood dripping from my face from 3 different spots, she just says:

"oh sorry haha, that was a knee jerk reaction, sorry if I hurt you, anyways as I was saying my favourite game is probably Mass Effect 3 or Zelda ... " She carries on the conversation as if nothing happened while Im trying my best to keep my face from bleeding.

Im in disbelief, Im scared, I want out of here, waiting for the train that was coming in 12 minutes felt like centuries. Train arrives, immediately jump in, dont even say goodbye, no eye contact. As the door is closing she says "hope I get to see you again soon". I lock myself into the trains bathroom and fall to my knees, holy fucking shit I thought I was going to get stabbed. Not only did she not get a 2nd date, I didnt date at all for the next 3 years.

PS. I should mention she was studying to become a mortician, and was in possession of a real human skull. She said she smuggled it into the country after finding it at an archeological dig in Brazil, I thought this was a joke because she sent me pics of it where she had drilled holes into it to use as a pen/pencil holder, turned out to be very real.

Username: Fancy-Capital9920
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26. Talking Taylor Swift

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"I don't really connect with animals. I don't want any pets, ever." Well, my profile has my two cats and a dog on it, so this isn't gonna work out. Not sure why she swiped right on me. Or didn't notice when she asked what I was doing and I told her I was out walking the dog, and we do an hour long loop of the neighborhood every day.

There was the one that had a profile of a physically fit attractive woman my age, but the person that arrived was 15 years older and 150+ pounds heavier. I decided to stay and not say anything about it because the texting conversation went well.

But 5 minutes into the date she hit me with a series of slurs and racist opinions, and I only waited until she was done talking because the shit she said was so unhinged and not based in reality that I needed to hear the end of the rant before I left. (Only reason I stayed to the end of the rant was so that I could share with my friends later and laugh at her. We had some good times out of quoting her and laughing at how dumb she was.)

And finally, I asked one about what she does at her job because it sounds interesting. When the date was over I hadn't said much of anything else. But I heard about her job, how she got into her job, her friends, her college experience, her high school experience, her family, her ex, her other ex, that car accident she got in when she was a teen, her three trips to Disney World, etc. Interestingly enough she was upset I didn't talk more and I thought "When? You didn't take a single breath for 45 minutes straight, when was I supposed to squeeze in a word or two?"

There was the one where she spent more time talking about Taylor Swift than anything else, and found a way to jam her into conversations where it didn't make sense. I figured she didn't want to date me, she wanted to date Taylor Swift, and got out of there. At this time I had heard of exactly one Taylor Swift song, and had basically no idea that the girl who put out Shake It Off was anything more than a one hit wonder.

Username: ImNotReallyThatSmart
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27. Park Full of Kids

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Talked about his sexual preferences out loud, in a public park full of kids. We had dinner and afterwards he suggested we should take a walk in a nearby park. On the way there we continued the conversation we had at dinner, but as soon as we got in the park he was like "hey can i talk ab something thats very important to me in a relationship?".

I said sure and he proceeded to tell me something along the lines of "yk, sex is VEERY important to me, like i need someone to be 100% compatible w me, i can't bear going through another relationship with someone who gives me the -i'm tired- excuse".

I was a bit creeped out because this man talked loudly and confidently ab his sex life in public and in broad daylight. As he kept mansplaining his sexual preferences I figured out he was implying that hes got a really high sex drive and looked for a partner who wont ever turn him down, even if he wants to have sex 10 times a day, everyday.

Mind you, this was happening in a crowded park, full of families with kids 🤦‍♀️ Whenever kids passed by him, he would be unfazed and continued to use explicit words to explain how he wants to have a gf who he can use as a hole.

I just smiled and nodded the whole time, while looking for ways to avoid groups of kids on our walk. If this wasnt already bad enough, when we finally sat down on a bench, he began telling me about how a girl he met online had a breeding kink and wanted him to cum inside when they finally met in person.

While this was happening, a mom passed by us and her stroller got stuck in the pavement right in front of our bench. He was totally oblivious to this event and he kept talking about how he also has a voyeur kink and explaining it in detail, while this poor woman was struggling right in front of us with her baby 😭

It was awful, this man was so far up his ass its admirable. Mind you, all this happened on the first date, we did not know eachother prior to this. Im also a huge people pleaser, in case someone was wondering why i put up with this piece of shit.

Username: agnes208
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28. Karen Vibes

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We went to a comedy club and it turned out the club allowed smoking (which has since been outlawed but was very common at the time). The smoke in the club was no worse than any bar or the smoking section of a restaurant, and it wasn't as if we were seated directly next to a table of smokers who were blowing it in our direction.

Initially she just mentioned how she HATES cigarette smoke. I'm not a fan myself, so I agreed with her. However she just kept ranting about it and was not bothering to temper her volume (which I felt was purposeful) so smokers within earshot knew full well she didn't approve of their life choices.

When I tried to steer the conversation to other topics (in an attempt to actually get to know her), she would engage for a minute or two and next thing you know she found a way to steer the conversation back to cigarettes, smoking, second-hand smoke, lung cancer, the smell on clothing, the fact that some relative died from smoking, the fact that she broke up with men because they smoked, and on and on and on.

Then, even while the comedians were performing, she would periodically wave the air in her face and make an audible 'ugh' or shriek in response. There were the facial expressions and the gestures and the gasps and on and on. After the show she continued her diatribe and made that the central topic of conversation as we walked to my car, and during the entire trip across town to her apartment.

It was just so "over the top" and she was so fixated on it, that at the end of the night the fact she hated second-hand smoke and/or smokers was really the only thing I knew about her. I realized that she had very strong "Karen energy" and if she was willing to let her entire evening be dictated by the actions of a few others, chances are it would only get worse from there as she became more relaxed and comfortable around me.

She was clear that she wanted to pursue the relationship and wanted to set up another date., but I had to pass. Not the right fit for me.

sername: Xynomite
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29. Yelling Was the Default

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Met a girl in an online game (Overwatch, of all things, lol). She seemed pretty cool and like a teamplayer, a cheerleader even, going crazy in voice chat like "go go go, push now" and stuff. She really had her head in the game - or so I thought. We kinda vibed and made some jokes and she gave me her number after I half-jokingly dropped some cheap-ass pick up line. I was a bit confused it had worked, but not saying no.

We texted a bit and again she was really into it, wanted to hook up immediately and basically invited me on a one night stand for the weekend. She seemed desperate to get laid, sending me pics of her private parts etc. kept talking about how perfect I am and that she wanted to marry me and stuff, even though we had only just met.

It was a red flag but I can deal with clingy, so no prob. We texted a lot that week and we really clicked. However, I never called. I had only ever heard her voice during that game.

I drove to her place that weekend. It was almost a one hour drive. When I got there and finally met her in person, I immediately regretted never calling her, as I noticed that she hadn't actually been "really into the game", yelling was just her fucking default way of speaking. I'm not exaggerating, my ears were literally ringing while I was sitting next to her whenever she laughed or talked enthusiastically about something.

I didn't want to be a dick and we were both desperate for sex, so I toned down my expectations to 'one night stand' and stayed anyway. We watched a movie. What I found odd was that she just wanted to jump me when we were texting and now she didn't make a move.

I thought maybe she was insecure. When I finally made a move she apologized, said she couldn't do it because she had had a nap while I was driving, had dreamed of her ex bf and now she's in love with him again...

Nothing went down that night. I drove back disappointed and she ghosted me afterwards. It was fine. I wouldn't have wanted a second date anyway.

Username: Ok-Actuator-5021
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30. Moderate a Little

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Took a girl out that I had known in high school. She was nice enough all those years prior. She was a bit on the heavy side but I still very pretty and I've never really had a problem with that anyway. She got into my car and lit a cigarette. I was a smoker at the time too so, you know, cool whatever. It was the early 2010s so that was a lot more common at the time.

She proceeded to light one after another though. I mean, it was comical, finish one smoke down to the filter, and light another one off the last. Literally didn't inhale oxygen the entire night. As I said I was a smoker, or so I thought I was but my habit was like 1 every 2 hours maybe.

I asked where she wanted to eat and she said she would rather get drive thru and eat in the car. I quickly realized she was only wanting to do this cause she NEEDED to be able to smoke. She ate a burger and fries and I shit you not she continued smoking while eating her meal, puff on it, take a bite, repeat. Then after this I had to stop at a gas station so she could buy more cigarettes. She came back with like 3 packs and immediately dug into those.

Later on during an attempt to start fooling around (I know, I had already had a ton of red flags but I was young and thought I could at least have some fun for the night) she proceeded to light up while we were making out and take breaks from what we were doing to puff away.

Needless to say I finally had to say that I really wasn't into that, that it was sort of a turnoff for me. She became very irritated and asked me to take her back to her car.

Now I see her every now and then at where she works in town. We're always civil but she is still always outside smoking almost every time I go there. Not to mention the odor fills a room everytime she walks in. Her voice sounds like 2 octaves lower than it did then, mind you we are only in our early thirties. If you want to smoke, cool, but for the love of God moderate a little.

Username: Corninator
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