We all know the internet can be a nightmare, especially when it comes to online dating.
But this story will restore your faith in the worldwide web, and humanity in general.
It all starts with Reddit user mymindisinborabora asked for some relationship advice pertaining to her awful boyfriend.
And you know how desperate she must have been for advice if she was coming to Reddit for help.
But they really pulled through on this one.
Thanks to everyone who reads this, I'll try to keep it short.
My boyfriend of 5 months just moved in with me three weeks ago.
He had some problems with his apartment (damp walls) and it has to be renovated.
As my roommate is currently spending some time abroad,
I told him it would be ok if he stayed at my place for 4 to 6 weeks
(he'll be able to move back to his own apartment by that time).
So, now we've been living together for three weeks and things started out great.
Jealousy had been a bit of a problem between us because we often go out separately probably once a week but coming home to the same apartment helped him get over his (unjustified) jealousy.
Buuut there has been one new problem.
Now, this may seem petty at first, but I'm really at my wits' end with this one.
Ever since he moved in with me, things started disappearing and then reappearing one day later in the same place they were missing from.
I'm talking about documents, small household items and food.
And it's not like "losing" keys and then finding them again somewhere,
I specifically look for something in a certain place where it isn't, but is there the next day.
For example, I like to take a chocolate bar with me to work in the morning, and for that,
I normally have a pack of chocolate bars at home.
Shortly after he moved in with me, I woke up to find all the chocolate was gone.
I asked him about it, he said he didn't know anything about it.
I come home just to find the chocolate bars are in the cupboard again!
I ask him, he says he doesn't know anything about it. "Maybe you just didn't see them in the morning".
We're talking about a large pack with about 12 chocolate bars, how can I not see that?
At first, I thought it was maybe some strange kind of humor,
but he seems angry when I bring it up and it's starting to really piss me off, because sometimes,
it's been items belonging to one of my friends that I wanted to give back to them and then couldn't,
or it was certain documents I needed for a certain day.
Now, I have absolutely no idea what this is about.
I am not crazy, I just don't understand AT ALL.
He gets really angry when I talk about it, saying I'm making this up just to "cause drama".
Why should I? I have no idea what's going on. Any ideas?
I hope this doesn't get buried, but OP I have read what you wrote, and your responses to questions and I'm a little bit concered with the following.
Things appear to go missing are directly linked with you leaving the house. It's almost like he is trying to subtely stop you from leaving.
He is jealous of you going out with your single friends.
Him being angry that you think its too soon to introduce him to your family. He seems to be pushing the relationship to be serious quickly by using guilt.
These CAN be the warning signs of a potentially abusive relationship.
These behaviors start small and insidious and esculate.
I had a friend who started a relationship and her boyfriend hated the fact she hung out with me, as I was single and particpated in what he called 'slutty' activities, like hanging out with friends at bars and having males as friends.
I was concerned about his level of jealously and apparent hate of her single friends and warned her.
She seemed to think it was normal and was just a little insecure.
She exited that relationship two years later and admitted to us all that he was physically and emotionally abusive.
I'm not saying everyone who is jealous is an abuser, but combined with other red flags, you should be cautious. Do not let him dictate who you can and cannot hang out with.
Don't let him guilt you into doing things you are uncomfortable with. I will PM you an information sheet about abusive relationships.
Please be wary and look at the situation with this new information OP.
The fact that he acts like you are crazy when you ask is the problem.
The fact that he accuses you of trying to start drama is a problem.
He wants something from you but won't articulate what it actually is.
You did mention there was a jealousy issue, I don't know if these are in any way connected but they could be.
Bottom line is that you are seeing what he is like when you are living together and it is not good.
My heart hurts for you. I dealt with this. Everything was so great, perfect actually for the first 4 or so months, and then there was this huge freak out.
He started trying to make me feel crazy. He still talked with his ex fiance, and would tell me he still loved her, but wanted me. (You know, the love takes a while to fade thing).
I stupidly married him after dating for a year (and finally divorced after 3 1/3 years of marriage). What he was doing worked.
He broke me down so much that I had no strength; no self worth anymore. Little things he would do included: stepping out of the room to talk to someone. He was in earshot (without me straining to ease drop). He would tell his ex he much he loved her and missed her, and how I don't compare.
He walked back into the room, said goodbye to her right before he turned the corner (so the phone was now in his hand hanging up), sat next to me and kissed me.
When I got upset and brought it up, he said I was crazy, that he wasn't on the phone.
Showed me his phone too, that he wasn't talking to her. It took me a long time to realize that he didn't talk to her, but he wanted me to think he had, and for me to think I was going crazy. He also used to hide stuff from me, saying I was forgetful.
I eventually found a pile of things in his parents backyard storage...things I had "lost". I hope for your sake this isn't your case, but if it is, realize it sooner than later. It saves so much heartache.
After I read all about gaslighting I ordered a nanny cam.
Unfortunately, the delivery took four days and after day one I already knew I couldn't be with him any longer.
I wanted him out of the apartment asap and with as little drama as possible.
I told him that my roommate had gotten a really interesting job offer and would cut her vacation short and come home in a week, so he had to move out.
He was pretty angry, but I told him that there was nothing I could do.
I also told him (as some of you suggested) that his landlord had to get him a place to stay and that he should call him.
The next day, he told me that he had talked to his landlord and he could move back in his own flat on the following weekend.
The renovations had not taken as long as planned. At this point, I doubt the apartment ever had "damp walls" to begin with but who knows.
In the evening he asked me if I wanted to move in with him because "it works so well" and "you don't like your roommate anyway"
(I never even said that!).
I told him sure, I would move in with him in June. He was pretty excited about it.
While I was waiting for the nanny cam to arrive, there was one incident when something went missing, a book that I had ordered for my dad over Amazon and wanted to bring him the next day (at least that's what I told my bf).
Of course, in the morning, the book was gone. I chose to ignore it and he reacted quite strange to it, even asked me on my way out if I had taken the book with me (why on Earth would he ask that if he didn't expect a reaction from me?).
I just asked: "What book?" "The book you wanted to bring your dad." "I don't know what you're talking about."
In the evening, the book was on my desk again (of course!) and I ignored it again. Two hours later, he casually walks by my desk and says:
"Ah, that's the book I was talking about!" I just said: "Oh, that book." He seemed pretty angry for the rest of the evening.
Two days later, the nanny cam finally arrived. I set it up while he was at the gym and again, when he was there, placed a letter I needed for work on my desk.
I wasn't surprised at all when it was gone a few hours later and re-appeared the next day.
When I finally was alone at home again and could check out the nanny cam evidence, I only saw what I already knew:
he took the letter while passing the desk, put it in his gym bag and put it back a few hours later.
However, as soon as I saw the "evidence", I decided against confronting him.
To be honest, I was scared of his reaction and had already decided to break it off as soon as possible.
Also, the camera didn't show me his motive and I figured he probably wouldn't tell me anyway.
However, it frustrated me very much that I would probably never know why he did it and on the last evening before he moved back to his "newly renovated" apartment,
I told him I wanted to watch an old movie called Gaslight
(Thanks for the tip everybody, it really is a great movie!)
He sat with me through the whole movie, but was quieter than usual while I talked the whole time about how unrealistic the movie was and that he was obviously insane.
I actually expected some kind of reaction from him but he just sat there looking nervous.
On Sunday, he took all his stuff back to his apartment.
My brother had organized someone to come and change the locks, and as soon as that was done,
I wrote my bf a text telling him that it was over, I had no interest in being contacted again,
that our break up was final and I thought it was very sad that he had to hide my things to keep the relationship interesting.
Since then, he called me more or less non stop but I haven't picked up and I won't.
I know, this isn't the most heroic or exciting ending, I could have confronted him with the video evidence but instead I cowardly broke up with a text message.
However, I really didn't want to confront him and have a dramatic fight. I just wanted it to be over as soon and as smoothly as possible.
If there's anything I've learned from this, it's to not rush into a relationship.
For the past 7 years, I've jumped from one LTR to the next and I think it's time to stay single for a while and concentrate on my college classes.
For now, I'm going to stay at my brother's for two or three weeks and I should probably change my phone number.
I'm sorry that I can't give you any insight on why he did it. It may have been cleptomania, a "prank" or messing with my stuff because something about me frustrated him.
I will probably never know. In all the texts he's sent me it only says that he doesn't know what I'm talking about and he never took my things!
Are you strapped in and ready for a wild ride? This woman asked Reddit what she should do when her boyfriend... well, you'll see.
We don't want to spoil it. Anyway, at the end of this story, she asked if she should break up with him over an incident involving Hamilton tickets. We say she absolutely should. But read on and decide for yourself...
Backstory: My mom is genuinely one of the funniest, kindest, sweetest people I've ever met and I'm genuinely lucky to have been her daughter.
She had me fairly young, raised me by herself and while we were pretty poor growing up,
she did her damndest to make sure that I got a good education and had everything I needed as a kid.
One of the things we share is a love of the theater.
She would save up and take me to all the musicals that stopped on tour in our town and while we were always in the cheap seats
it was always something we both greatly looked forward to.
These memories of going to the theater with my mom are very precious to me and is one of the main factors in why I work in the entertainment industry today (corporate side, I have a horrendous singing voice lol).
Fastforward to today. Like most theater nerds, my mom and I are basically obsessed with Hamilton.
And for those of you who aren't really familiar with it, this show is basically impossible to get tickets for at this point, unless you want to see it in January of next year.
I'm lucky enough to be in a financial position w/my job that I could afford tickets for a show in July for me and my mom.
These are amazing seats (fifth row center), and through some type of divine intervention I managed to snag tickets for the night that Lin Manuel Miranda's (creator/lead in Hamilton) final performance.
I surprised my mom with these tickets back in December (i bought them in october i think) for christmas.
I'm making a whole week of it, I put us up in a really nice hotel,
i made reservations at a bunch of restaurants that we both want to try, and we're going to do a bunch of touristy s**t in general (plus try to see if we can fit in at least one other show before we leave).
We are both incredibly excited for this, my mom even has a little Hamilton countdown that she's doing on a mini chalkboard she uses as a planner.
She sends me pics every day when she changes it, it's cute.
In January, I began dating this guy that I'll refer to as Josh.
We were casual/not exclusive for a while but became serious within the last two months. He also works in the corporate side of entertainment, but at a different agency than I do.
He also has a higher position than me, and makes a loooot more money than I do (this becomes important).
We met at an industry event and we hit it off instantly.
I thought I could get really serious about this guy and up to this point there have been no red flags that I've seen (although tbh right now I'm sifting through all of my memories to see if there's something I missed).
He also comes from a much much wealthier family than I do.
Josh has a younger sister that I'll call Jennifer (17) that's kind of going through a big troubled teen phase.
She cuts class, smokes, and is really disrespectful to her parents.
I've only met her once but as far as I know, she's not doing anything too bad she's just kind of a sad kid and could really benefit from some therapy
(I floated this by Josh but he said his parents are kind of disdainful of therapy in general).
Josh says they can't reach out to her no matter what they do and they've tried everything
(except trying to get her to a counselor but whatever).
Actual problem time: Sunday night I was at my place with Josh.
We were drinking wine and cuddling while watching the tony's (theater awards show). My mom was texting me during the Hamilton performance and geeking out about how excited she was.
I laughed and showed my mom's texts to Josh because I thought it was so adorable, and he didn't say anything off but he was acting kind of strange after.
He asked me what date the show we were going to was, I told him and then he went into the other room to take a phone call.
I thought nothing of it because we both have to take random phone calls like that for our jobs all the time and he's going through kind of a tough time at his.
He was in an unusually good mood afterwards and said he had to go home early because he had to "sign some forms at the office early tomorrow" before we met up to get brunch with his parents later that day.
Again, nothing too unusual and pretty common with the both of us.
He picks me up at work for the brunch with his parents and again he's in an unusually good mood.
I ask what's up and he says vaguely that things are going well at the office and this deal he's trying to make is finally going through.
I don't really press for info bc we both try to avoid work topics
(partially due to work s**t being fairly banal and partially bc we both have to sign some pretty gnarly NDA's a lot of the time) and this is only my second time meeting his parents so I'm still a bit nervous about brunch.
We get to the brunch place and the first thing his mom does when she sees me is give me a huge, warm hug and profoundly thanks me for my kindness.
Her dad also gives me a huge handshake and thanks me for "helping out with Jen”.
I'm kind of wtfing because I have no clue what they're talking about.
I ask what she means and she says for giving her the Hamilton tickets.
I turn around to Josh and he just has this big grin on his face.
That time my boyfriend was away talking on the phone for "business” he was actually on the phone with Jen promising that I would give her my Hamilton tickets!
I was so thrown off by this that I (kind of not very tactfully, I admit) say how I had no clue about this. Josh looks pissed, and his parents are equally thrown off.
But instead of getting mad at Josh his mom just says "Well, you can still give them to her though right?"
And they all look at me like I'm supposed to just agree with this.
And I try to explain that the trip is actually for me and my mom, and how important this is to my mom.
All three of them start going on about how Jen is "super excited about this" and that this is the first time that she's not been mad/expressed happiness to them in a while.
And that's how the next half hour goes basically, until the parents leave, mad, and the dad calls me a selfish cow.
I'm so flabbergasted that I just sort of put up with it, but I could barely get in a word.
He eventually called me a c**t (wtf????) and then left in his car
(which is awkward as hell because it was valet parking so he was just kind of stewing by the valet stand while I was waiting for my Uber).
But not every story is as cut and dry as these last two.
Here's a story where a woman TRIED to come to the Internet for support on a situation with her boyfriend.
But the internet had...questions.
When the age-old phrase, "caught in the act" took a familial twist, things got hilariously complicated.
Dive into this uproarious tale of mistaken intentions,
as a woman's innocent cuddle session with her sibling sends her boyfriend's eyebrows (and assumptions) skyrocketing.
Or maybe it...wasn't so innocent after all?
How close are you with your sibling?
We've all heard of sibling rivalry, but have you ever heard of sibling cuddling?
This story you're about to read gets weird quick, and then gets even weirder.
A reddit user (who has since been kicked off the site, potentially as a direct result of this... gulp),
shared a wild tale of how her closeness — literally and physically —
with her brother resulted in problems with her relationship.
Read on, and let us know what you think is going on here.
"I know this story may sound absurd but bear with me, please.
So, I’m a college student and I’ve been living with my boyfriend (21 M) since last year.
I’m attending an out-of-state university by the way.
My brother had some business to do in a nearby city from today ’till Friday.
He decided to take a little detour and arrive at my place on Saturday and spend the weekend with me and then take an early morning flight to his destination on Monday since it’s close-by.
I had a very busy and tiring day prior to his arrival though so I told him that I was going to leave the door unlocked and he could just come in as I didn’t want to be woken up
(he was supposed to get to my apartment at around 6 AM).
My boyfriend left on Friday to spend the night at his parents’ house because his mom was not feeling well.
He knew that my brother was coming over.
My brother arrives on Saturday at around 6:30 AM.
He tries to wake me up but to no avail.
He tells me: ‘If you’re not going to wake up, at least let me get into bed ’cause it’s cold and I’m sleepy too.’
I say okay and he gets in.
We immediately fall asleep.
My boyfriend’s yelling wakes us up at around 10:30 AM.
He starts saying how this is ‘basically cheating’,
asking if we had sex, if we’re in an incestuous relationship, etc.,
that this is absolutely disgusting and mega inappropriate and other delusional things like that.
I tell him that we’ve always shared a bed while living at home and that this is 100% platonic.
He lets me know that ‘we were snuggling under the blankets while sleeping’.
I tell him yeah, that’s what people do when they share a bed and it’s cold.
I start to get really angry at him at this point for constantly trying to sexualize me and my brother’s relationship
so I tell him that I’m going to spend the weekend with my brother at a hotel and until I come back he better learn how to manage this irrational jealousy of his.
I’m back at my apartment now but my boyfriend gives me the cold shoulder.
Following this story, the internet had a lot of, ahem... questions.
The original poster clarified a few things.
Apparently, her boyfriend set up a guest room for her brother.
The hotel room they got together had only one bed.
And whenever she was asked whether or not they were wearing clothes, she avoided the question.
The post got so crazy that it was actually removed, but the reactions from Reddit are still here in all their glory.
And opinions on this story are all over the place.
There is a guest room which her boyfriend set up for her brother and she admits they intentionally avoided using it and were intentionally spooning (big spoon, little spoon).
Then when they got a hotel room together, they made sure to get a room with only 1 bed so they could do it all over again.
Lastly, OP keeps avoiding answering what they were wearing, if anything.
I can not imagine it being "OK" with them choosing to have her brother's...pressed firmly up against her...with them holding each other tightly.
Then going to a hotel to ensure they can do it all over again (1 bed).
Plus, she avoids what they were or were not wearing under those covers.
Sharing a bed is one thing, but nothing in her comments seems right.
Linux-Is-Best
I definitely think OP is leaving stuff out.
Like how there was a guest bed available and how they were literally spooning.
This also probably isn’t the first time something like this as happened.
I think the fact that it might be part of a pattern helps to explain and contextualize the BF’s reaction.
TheGreatEmanResu
Yeah. He basically thought "You MUST be cheating on me, so; incest, right?".
chupala69
Is this thread full of dudes wanting to snuggle their sister in bed or something?
It's a bit odd, but not necessarily sexual in any way.
However I can see him being weirded out but his reaction is over the top and straight to his comments raises flags.
Edit* hold up, he had a guest bedroom he could have slept in?!
And you got a hotel with one bed and by snuggling is big spoon little spoon?
Yeah, y'all's relationship isn't normal
Jredrum
This is his weird sexual issue.
I guess it is privilege too.
I mean it is really like only a few hundred years since every family lived in one room.
cinnamngrl
You admit you two intentionally spooned (big spoon, little spoon). You acknowledge that your boyfriend set up the guest room for your brother, but you and your brother decided it was better to spoon in your boyfriend's bed.
When your boyfriend voiced his confusion and concern, you and your brother booked a hotel room with only 1 bed so you two could continue to full-on spoon together again.
When asked what you were wearing, if anything, you continue to dodge the question.
Nothing about this seems right.
It is one thing to share a bed, but it is an entirely different thing for you two to go out of your way to spoon one another and then rub it in his face by getting a hotel room with only 1 bed so you can do it again.
It is not normal to have your sibling's...pressed up against your...with you two holding each other tightly. Then for you to get a hotel room so you can share 1 bed to do it all over again.
And I cannot help notice you keep avoiding answering what either of you was wearing, if anything.
Is he an only child? Just curious. Some people can't understand sibling bonds. Either an only child or siblings who doesn't have a good relationship. Even then, friends cuddle sometimes too. Siblings even more so. I have a nephew, whom I live with, (we look more like siblings than aunt-nephew) and on a typical free time, we would be on the couch, legs tangled together while I'm on my phone and he on his switch. It's normal.
If he doesn't change his stance on this, you should break up with him. Next thing you know he's gonna accuse you and your father's relationship when he gives you a hug and a kiss or (god forbid) when he walks you down the isle.
Edit: Changing my vote to ESH. OP had failed to include on the original post that she and BF prepared a guestroom beforehand. While it isn't wrong to cuddle/share a bed with Brother, there IS a guestroom where BF expected your brother to be in. However, it doesn't excuse BF's behaviour when he found OP's bro with OP. He should've handled that better.
I personally cuddle with my sister but only when we HAVE to share a bed. We do have separate bedrooms. (I'm F) and when hanging out in the living room which is mostly leaning against each other, legs over the other's lap, etc.
Also, the hotel room bit. I understand if you had to share with bro to cut costs or that there is no more room available, but instead you shared a room (and by extension, bed, I guess) out of spite.
I don't think we have the full story.
Gilgamesh_is_my_King