My wife and I got married a little while ago. We (meaning my wife) did all we could to make our wedding not cost an arm and a leg, but still be stunning. My bride made her own bouquets, made decorations, and generally just DIY’d the ever living crap out of everything.
So, when the time came to find a photographer and videographer, I suggested we hire one of my buddy’s (a groomsman) girlfriend, who is now a photographer for an NFL team, to take our shots. My wife said that she didn’t want to make her do that, which I understood, so instead, she asked a friend from college to take the shots.
Now. We both knew that this guy was still madly in love with my wife. They never dated, but they had a thing and she broke it off because he never made a move. We met 4 days later. But we knew that he loved her. For example, he dated two girls immediately after my soon to be wife, that had the exact same name, and one with the exact same initials. She thought it was a coincidence and I said “he’s looking to find your doppelgänger lol”
he swore up and down that his feelings were gone and that he would love to do it, at a discounted rate no less. I asked him to swear that there were no long lost feelings, and he said “on my mothers grave, I’m past that. I want to do this for the two of you. Please allow me to do this service.” He’s a phenomenal photographer and he gave us a steal, so I took him at his word.
So, day comes. First few hours go by, and everything is fine. 30 minutes before the ceremony, I cannot find this clown. My best man ensured me that he’d find the guy, and 5 minutes later he said “you better come with me.”
We found him hyperventilating in a corner, tears on his face. I leaned down to him and said “give me the fricking camera, and let someone else take the shots. I know what’s happening here.” He again said that it was just because it was hot outside and that he felt overwhelmed by my wife’s biological parents. Yknow what, kinda understandable, they’re a pain in my ass too. Again, I took him at his word.
Ceremony starts. As my wife comes down the aisle, looking stunning, I see the tears well up again in his eyes. By the grace of the good Lord Jesus Christ, my father noticed too, as he quietly got up, snatched the camera from the photographer’s hand, handed it to the girl I wanted to take them in the first place, and saw him out the chapel.
All is fine now, until the pastor (my wife’s adoptive father) went to say “are there any objections?” My father, again, the hero that he is, motioned to him not to say it, and he moved on.
Well, the moment we kissed, according to my best man, a loud, audible wail could be heard from outside. I didn’t notice, as I was focused on kissing my smoking hot wife and being happy I was married. But apparently the photographer was still outside, watching through a window, crying his eyes out. As we walked out of the chapel, I noticed, yet again, the two heroes of this story, my dad and her adoptive dad, run out before us, escort the weeping photographer into the woods, and return to celebrate with us.
I went to find him a few hours later, along with my best man and father and found him, still crying, in his car. Told him that I would arrange for him to get his camera back tomorrow, informed him that I would be keeping his SD cards and that I would still pay him. He went to spit in my face, which prompted my dad and best man to rip him out of his vehicle through his window and start beating the absolute shit out of him. I may or may not have joined in with a few swift punches to the gut.
After we finished beating him senseless, he scampered into his car and drove off, never to be seen again. A note fell out of his pocket during the, I suppose, assault lol. It was his objection. It talked about how he knew God meant them to be together, and that I was the Devil incarnate. He mentioned that I was a racist (could not be further from the truth) and that I was a white supremacist (I’m literally half Hispanic). My father and my wife’s adoptive dad probably saved that guy from being murdered by my very Italian, very angry, always ready for a fight family.
In the end, I married the woman of my dreams, our photos were taken by an NFL photographer and I got to keep the camera, which I should say, is really cool and I now use it for work haha. And I got to bond with my best Man and father by beating up a crying baby boy. All around solid day.
/datboi1353/