People Confess the Most Infuriating "Am I the Asshole" Moments

1. Stop ***ing Eating!

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My (M26) sister (F23) runs a bakery business and she’s been struggling lately to keep up with orders because she’s been short staffed. She does a lot of orders for wedding cakes that require custard or marmalade fillings, and I offered to help her out by making these fillings at home and bringing them to her so she has less work to do.

Unfortunately, the past four times I’ve made these fillings, my girlfriend (F24) has literally dipped her fingers into the filling jars and contaminated them because, in her words, she “just wanted to try some.” I’ve tried explaining to her that she can’t dip her fingers in and contaminate the entire batch, because then I have to remake it. I said she should use a spoon and take some out if she wants to try so bad, but she just pouts and says that she likes using her fingers because it takes her back to her childhood.

Today, I was trying to finish some chocolate custard to send it over to my sister really fast because she was running late on a wedding cake order for an important client. I told my girlfriend beforehand to not eat the custard, and if she really wanted to, to please use a spoon.

I get out of the shower, and what do I see? She has her fingers in it again! I totally lost it because this is the fifth time she blatantly disregarded what I said, and I yelled at her and told her to “stop fucking eating” the food I’m making, because it’s not for her and she’s contaminating it.

She started crying and got mad at me for “fat-shaming” her, even though I made no comment on her weight and she has no history of weight issues or eating disorders. I know I was harsh, but she kept pushing my limits. AITA?

/throwawaycakegf/

2. Poor Kim

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So I (35F) have been with my fiance (45M) for three years now. He has two kids, a daughter (22) who’s a lovely girl, and [another] daughter (19)... I’ll call Kim for the sake of the post. Kim has always had a bad attitude to everyone, especially me... [M]y fiance was already divorced [from] his ex two years before we even met, and his ex is a nice person who I get along with very well, so there’s no hate from her end ether.

Kim is three months pregnant and living with us because we have more room for her and the baby. The baby daddy stays sometimes, but he has two jobs along with studies, so it’s mainly been me who’s take[n] care of her... [T]oday her boyfriend came over, so my fiance suggested we let them have the house to themselves and go for a walk; about two hours later I came home and noticed my cat missing... Kim hated [my cat] and wanted me to get rid of [him]. I asked her [where] he was. Kim said [he] ran out the door, which I knew was bulls***.

[My cat] is an elderly cat who even wouldn’t go out on the porch if I didn’t bring him. So I checked the Ring camera, and as expected Kim threw [my cat] out... My fiance tried saying Kim is pregnant, her hormones are all over the place, and pregnancy brain messes with women, [and] that he was gonna bring up getting rid of [my cat] for the [baby's] sake anyway. I was in tears till I looked over at Kim with a smug satisfied look on her face. I f*****g lost it. I got up in her face and scream[ed] that she had one hour to find my cat or all her s**t would be in the dumpster and I was done being her slave.

She said she wasn’t looking for my stupid cat, and [tole me to] back off as she was pregnant; my fiancé told me to [calm] down and we’d look for the cat I told him no, I would look for my cat, and when I got back his daughter better be gone, and if he has issues he could go too because I was sick of dealing with his little b***h of daughter who everyone, including her own parents and boyfriend, avoids. I didn’t wait for them to respond. I did hear her crying though... I found my cat; he was hiding in some bushes. It took 20 long minutes to find him. When I arrived home they were both in the living room.

My fiance said he wanted to talk ,but first he said I owed Kim an apology. I told him f**k himself and she better start packing. She’s at her boyfriend's family home as far as I know, and my fiance is not talking to me. Update... So my now ex-fiance's oldest daughter reached out to me to ask my side. I’ll call her Kate; she’s [an] animal lover... Her father asked to stay with her for a few nights because he said I was having a breakdown over my cat.

He basically made out the cat escaped and I went after “pOoR” Kim for not trying to catch him -in] her condition. Kate is a very smart girl; she can see bullsh*t [from] a mile away and obviously she knows her own sister, so she called Kim to ask her side. Kim was more honest. Basically, [she] and her dad planned it, as some of you suggested.

The plan was for her baby daddy to take the cat out [to] a road dump, but he wouldn’t do it because in Kim’s words he was a “p***y,” so they got in a fight about it, and Kim thankfully being lazy just kicked [my cat] out and ran him out of the yard. Kate told me the way Kim’s talking about me and [my cat]; even if she doesn’t move back, [she'd] do something for revenge to [my cat].

So I’ve decided to listen to Kate, my friends, the vet, his assistant, and everyone here, and I called off the wedding, which is in few weeks, and broke up with my ex-fiance by text. I don’t give a f**k if it’s immature or cruel; I’ve told him I’ll box up his stuff for him and leave it for him to collect in a few days. Don’t worry about [my cat]. I told my ex [to] call me when he’s coming over so [my cat will] be locked in a room safe, and I’m calling a 24-hour locksmith next.

The begging and bulls**t promises have already started, but my mind's made up. I’m done being his ATM slave for him and his spoiled b***h of a daughter (Kim). [My cat] is fine... just a little shaken, but he’s curled up in my lap refusing to move.

/Wise-Hall2842

3. The Old Switcheroo

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My wife and I have always dreamed of celebrating our 40th anniversary with a luxurious vacation. Just the two of us, reliving the romance of our early years. We had it all planned out for years now and were excited beyond words.

Enter our adult daughter Jane. Jane and her husband got wind of our plans and promptly invited themselves and their two children (9F, 5M) along. I originally put my foot down and told them this trip was just for us which upset her some.

But my wife has a hard time saying no to Jane, as she is the youngest of our children and our only daughter, and she didn't want to hurt her feelings, so she reluctantly agreed to let them join.

I wasn't thrilled about it at the time, but I wanted to make my family happy, and I knew my wife was also okay with the idea of a "family" trip even if she was heartbroken we wouldn't get our romantic trip. We went along with it.

The place we were originally going was not child friendly so we changed course and decided on an all inclusive family friendly resort. We paid for the resort and our grandchildren's plane tickets. Jane and her husband only had to pay for their own airfare. Here's where things get complicated.

As the vacation got closer, I started having a change of heart. I realized that our 40th anniversary was a once-in-a-lifetime milestone, and I wanted to honor it in a way that was true to our original plans. My wife and I might not be able to afford a trip like this again for quite some time and it's something we always wanted to do.

So, without consulting anyone, I switched our tickets last minute to go to the romantic destination that my wife and I had originally planned for. I did not tell Jane or her husband. I didn't even tell my wife until the day before our flight left, which was a day before Jane's flight left for their vacation. It wasn't an easy decision and I feel guilty about it. But I wanted our 40th anniversary to be the special, intimate celebration we had always hoped for.

We called Jane after we landed to tell her and she was extremely upset to say the least. She seemed of the idea that we were going to look after our grandkids so she and her husband could have alone time and now that I abandoned her they would have to do it all themselves. I hung up on them when my son in law started shouting and my wife and I enjoyed the rest of our trip.

They came back the same day we did but have not answered any of our texts and Jane seems to be ignoring me. My wife told me she vastly preferred our trip to the family trip we would have taken but she still doesn't like how Jane is mad at us and wants me to apologize.

I'm not sure I want to after learning Jane and her husband were using us for free babysitting and a free trip but I feel like I should just to keep the peace. Am I the asshole for changing our trip destination last minute and leaving Jane and her family to fend for themselves?

/Flat-Blueberry-4469/

4. My Life Subsidizing His

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Short and simple I think. A few years ago my brother needed help. I let him move into one of my rental properties and we did it all legal. Lease agreement and everything. Because I was renting to him at a breakeven point we agreed that he was responsible for all the maintenance of the house and yard.

Well he has four kids. And the hot water tank isn't enough for his family and he wants a new one. I told him to go ahead. He then proceeded to take the cost of the hot water tank and installation out of that month's rent. I reminded him of our agreement. He said he wasn't making improvements to my property for free.

I said that the old hot water tank was fine and he made the decision to replace it. Big argument and I didn't want to fight so I said that he was not allowed to make any further changes to the house without my explicit agreement. So he stopped doing maintenance as a protest. The house itself is not pretty but it is solid. It is old and the wiring in it was not meant for all the modern electronics we have.

He wanted to add a new breaker box and run more outlets. I said no thanks. I cannot afford that since I'm not making any money on the house. He started getting bitchy about it and the rent started getting paid late. I tried talking to him but he said that he had to buy some stuff for the house and he was low on cash.

So I sold the house. While the house itself isn't great it is in an older part of the city and the property itself is a quarter of an acre. Every time a house sells in the neighborhood it is snapped up by developers and tuned into multi family units. Or one guy built a McMansion on his land.

I know a lot of the developers and I didn't even need to list the house to have it sold in less than a week. My brother found out when he was served with an eviction notice. He called me to ask WTF. So I told him that the house was causing me headaches and I had an opportunity to make some money and I took it.

He said I should have offered him a chance to buy it. I said that he was having trouble making rent. How was he going to qualify for a mortgage. He said I'm an asshole and that he has the money he was waiting to make me an offer. I asked him if he had money why he was late on his rent.

He started bad-mouthing me to all our family. A few of them took his side and tried to say I was being an asshole so I offered all of them a chance to clear his debt to me if they wanted to share their opinion. None of them took me up on the offer.

My parents are on my side and they said I shouldn't have rented to him in the first place. I feel bad for my sister-in-law and the kids but I'm not going to spend the rest of my life subsidizing his.

/FollowingFit3032/

5. Isn’t That What Vegans Eat?,

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My fiance (31 male) and I (25 female) are getting married soon. There wasn't much [we] disagreed on during the wedding planning except for food. Me and my family are vegans, and there so many reasons why we chose this lifestyle... one of them being that we have a history of health issues. My fiance and his family are the complete opposite. They're hardcore meat eaters, which is fine by me, obviously.

However, when deciding on the wedding food menu, I wanted to add 4-5 vegan options. My fiance and his mom objected, saying it was a waste of money over food that “isn't real food.” They also argued that this would be offensive for "their" guests and suggested my vegan options just be "the good ol' salads and appetizers" (his mom wanted cupcakes lol).

I said no, because for one, it's me and my family who's paying. And two, I want to make my guests feel welcome and not be treated as second-class citizens by being served “salad.” My fiance made a face and said, “Isn't that what vegans eat?” I refused to argue about it and said it was final.

The other day, I found out that he had canceled all the vegan options and took them off the menu completely and behind my back. I was seething. I called him at work but he kept hanging up on me. I went straight to his workplace and confronted him there and just flipped out on him. He was stunned to see me. He at first said it was his mom's idea, then told me to go home because I was making a scene at the office.

The fight continued at home and he defended himself by saying that I sort of made him resort to doing this after I kept brushing off his thoughs and input, and refusing to accommadate his family. But there were PLENTY of meat options; why why can't I get 4-5 vegan options? When I'm paying for it? He yelled that it was his wedding too, not my family's. My family said it was fine and they'll figure it out and told me to let it go, but I refused.

So his mom messaged me earlier to try to get me to listen to what she had to say after I kept ignoring her phone calls. She spent long walls of text just to "address" what I did at her son's workplace, calling it all kinds of stuff from immature to unhinged. She then went [on] to explain how she's noticed that me and my family kept "acting dismissive" of her son's input and [contributions] to the wedding.

She said that she noticed my behavior towards him and her entire family and wanted to speak up earlier, but didn't and tried to keep the peace. She then went on to address the food menu issue and denied her involvement in the cancellation of the vegan option, but that didn't mean she doesn't support her son's decision. Moreover, she thought it was soooo responsible of him to make that move because of my continual refusal to see how this stuff is [a] waste of money.

She also pointed out how I kept saying "I paid for it" and said that technically this isn't just my money, it's mine and his because we're getting married. She suggested I wisen up and get rid of "my money, I paid for it" mentality. She finally mentioned how "bad" this whole situation is making me look, and said that she and her son had already offered a number of compromises that I chose to brush off and decided to make it my "weird" hill to die on. She said that not only her son is upset but she and "the family" are as well after hearing about it and suggested I just agree on their compromise and be done with it.

This pissed me off beyond belief. I responded by letting her know that I'm still standing my ground on this even if I'll have to call the whole wedding off because of it. Because honestly? This is just ridiculous, it is!!! My mom and dad... they don't even know what to say anymore. Apparently, my fiance saw my response to her (he's with her) and is now trying to call me, but right now I'm waiting on him to get home and see if he's still insisting on the stance he took. AITA for putting my foot down on this? I'll update if there's anything worth adding after we talk.

/SarahJake2022/

6. Stopped for a Funeral Procession

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My wife and I went back to my hometown to visit my family this week. Where I grew up is across the country and much more rural than where we live currently and where my wife grew up. We decided to go see a play in a nearby city that my wife has been wanting to see and we were running a little late because she didn't get ready on time and we're in a rush. A few minutes into the drive, I saw a funeral procession coming down the road towards us so I pulled over and put my hazards on.

My wife then asks me what I'm doing? I tell her that a funeral procession is passing by so I have to pull over. She asks why and says that it isn't against the law to keep driving. I say that I know it isn't against the law, but it is a sign of respect that I've always been taught to do. She then starts to get irritated and says that if we sit and wait for them to pass, then we are going to miss the show and they won't let us in.

I said that maybe it is just a cultural difference, and I am truly sorry if we miss the play, but this is something I feel strongly about and I'm not going to move until they have passed. My wife then gets even angrier and says she doesn't understand why I have to act this way. I then tried to explain myself as best as I could. I told her that some of those people in that line are currently having the worst day of their life.

They are on their way to say goodbye forever to someone they love. Having been there before, it can be infuriating watching the world continue to go on as normal as your life is being shattered. Why isn't the rest of the world mourning a beautiful life being taken away. In that short ride between the funeral and the grave, our local culture acknowledges this unfairness. I pointed at the cars behind us and said that each of those people have places they need to be as well.

By stopping, we are saying to the grieving, "We may not have known the deceased, but we will acknowledge both them and your grief by putting our lives on hold for 5-10 minutes while you pass." I have been in that line before and this simple act by others meant a lot to me.

My wife just argued that I was putting the feelings of complete strangers over her, and I knew how much she wanted to see this play and I was taking that away from her for people I don't even know. I stood my ground and didn't move.

By the time it had passed, there was no chance we would make the play so we went home. My wife is still angry at me and wants me to apologize, which I did for her having missed something she was looking forward to, but said I would still do it again. I made us miss a play because I pulled over for a funeral procession. While I am fully ready to accept my judgment, I would just like to say that I did not do this to "teach my wife a lesson" as a lot of people seem to think.

This is something that I have always done as well as everyone I know from my town. I've read through pretty much all of the comments and this really seems to be a matter of cultural differences. It may be unbelievable to some, but this practice is followed by practically everyone where I'm from.

I've on occasion been late to different things in my life due to it, and all I've ever had to say is, "Sorry I stopped for a funeral procession," and everyone immediately understood. If you want to call me an a**hole anyway, I won't argue. I just don't want judgment passed based on motives prescribed to me that simply are not true.

/ishine7909/

7. Thanks for the Suggestion!,

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We can all agree 2020 was a sh*t year. Particularly for my (29M) family. We lost our dad [at the] beginning of the year after he had a heart attack, and my little brother (12) had no one to take care of him. Our mom died when he was 3, so our dad was all we had left. I fought for custody and was appointed his legal guardian. Honestly, it hasn’t been easy. We’re still adjusting to these life changes, and my brother is taking it the hardest. For months he was just not himself. Bad attitude, lashing out. I got him in therapy because I knew he was just hurting, plus stress of [the] pandemic.

His behavior has improved so much since then, even if sometimes there [are] days where he’s withdrawn. Days before Christmas, he was feeling sad since it was our first holiday [without] Dad. That day, he asked to be left alone. We had a talk to discuss his feelings and I gave him his space after that. My girlfriend was over that day, and I went out to buy groceries. When I got back, my brother was out of his room and helping out. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Yesterday, my brother and I were out having some guy time before going back home to get ready for NYE.

My brother opened up about how grateful he is for everything and he hopes that I don’t change my mind about taking care of him. I asked why he’d think that, and he told me what happened. That day when I was out, my GF went to his room to tell him he needs to change his attitude and stop moping (her exact words) because he should be grateful I’m taking care of him at all. And that we can still hand him over to the state if we wanted to. I was furious about this and had to reassure him that was never gonna happen because he really was worried about it. We went home, I confronted my GF, and she didn’t deny it.

She told me it [was] true, and there was nothing wrong with telling him to stop acting like that when he should be grateful I “gave up my life” to take care of him. And the thing about giving him up isn’t that big of a deal to her because it’s not like I’ll actually do it. I said she still scared him with that threat and told her to leave my apartment because honestly, I was far too mad and because I didn’t want her to be near him right now. She started crying; there was more fighting, but she left in the end. It was just me and my brother for New Year's. Since last night, I’ve been bombarded with calls from all our friends for kicking her out knowing she has no family and nobody else to spend the holiday with.

Everyone has sided with her, and even my best friend says I may have overreacted by making her leave when she probably thought she was helping. They’ve heard my side of the story but still think I was an a** for making her cry and spending the new year alone. I’m having trouble seeing how I could be, so here I am looking for internet strangers to weigh in on this.

I talked to my brother because I wanted to know if she’s said anything else to him. Thankfully she hasn’t, and we had another serious chat to remind him everything she told him is completely false. I would never in a million years give him up and that shouldn’t have been put in his head. Another thing I told him was that I’m grateful he’s here with me. Without him, I wouldn’t have made it through the year, and I thanked him for giving me that strength to keep going. Someone who DM’d me suggested reassuring him that he’s not somehow “ruining” my life in case he feels any guilt for what she told him. Thank you for that suggestion! Now, I know you were all waiting on this news.

Yes, I did break up with her. Thinking about what a lot of you said, talking to my brother about how this made him feel, and my own thoughts about how badly she acted, I decided that’s not someone I want around me or him. I can’t risk her doing something like this again and ruining any progress he makes in therapy. I know many of you think I should’ve done it on the spot, but I wanted to make this decision with a clear head and not when my emotions were extremely high.

She came by my place earlier and we talked outside. Her reaction was as bad as you’d expect, and she STILL believed she did nothing wrong, even after I explained it all to her. There was just no making her understand, and I told her it was over. I gave her a couple of her things that were lying around my apartment, and she left. My phone started going off like an hour later, so I had to put it on Do Not Disturb. That’s all the drama I could handle for one night. I’ll deal with my friends some other time. Honestly, I’m exhausted. Mentally and emotionally drained right now.

I think this weekend we’ll do something to get our minds off this. I definitely need it after everything, and I know my brother does, too. It’s been a hard year already without all this extra drama. Anyway, sorry for the really long update, you guys, but I didn’t want to leave anyone hanging. I’m sure more comments will keep coming. I probably won’t be sleeping much tonight, so I’ll keep my mind busy by reading and replying to more of you. Thanks again for the support! What a sh*tty way to start the new year, but here’s hoping for better things :)

/gfkickedout/

8. Cheaper by the Seventeen

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I am a nurse practitioner and I am the primary care provider for a lot of the low risk maternity cases at the practice where I work. I also work hand in hand with the doctors and midwives to create a healthy maternity, birth, and postpartum situation.

My fiancee is completing her residency. We live together and have for a few years now. We aren't in any hurry to get married. We originally had plans to do so a couple of years ago but then we got really busy for two years. It is driving my very religious parents crazy that their youngest son is living in sin. I don't really care. I'm an adult and I do what I want. We are getting married in June.

So we are visiting my parents for Christmas. The way it came together this year everyone is at my parents house. So that's my folks, my three siblings, myself and fiancee, and seven grandchildren. So seventeen people.

At dinner my mom starts going on about how she is so glad that we are finally getting married and she won't be embarrassed at church any more. And my dad says how proud he is of his three older kids who all either waited to get married before moving in together or got married right away after moving in together. My fiancee was getting embarrassed and I was getting mad over this stupid argument we have had too many times. And a family dinner was the last straw.

I have asked them repeatedly to just accept that they cannot control how I live my life. I refuse to stay with them when I visit even if I come alone. Hotels are just easier. So I started talking about a premature baby I had been reading about. It was almost three months premature and weighed about 1.6 pounds.

It was super strong and healthy for being born so little and the NICU had high hopes for the baby doing well.My mom and dad both got deer in the headlights looks on their faces. To bad. Should not have fucked around with my fiancee's feelings.

So I asked about my oldest brother. He was born almost four months premature. Is there a chance that we could check out the family album where we keep all the records of family births and stuff. I already know my brother was over 9 pounds and almost 23" long when he was born. My grandmother told me all about it the first time my parents tried to shame me.

The subject gets changed very fast. After supper my parents told me that I should not try to embarrass them with private things that are not my concern. I told them that if I heard anything about my living arrangements ever again for the rest of my life I would make sure to keep bringing up the FACT that my mom was in her second trimester when they got married.

My parents are mad at me for telling them how to behave in their own home. But my fiancee is happy that they seem to be off the subject for good. AITA?

/SupermarketFair3341/

9. It’s Just a Lizard

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This is literally really stupid but she's really upset about it. So my (48) daughter (23) has a blue-tongued skink [lizard] who she heavily adores. She jokingly refers to it as her daughter. I've found it weird but she says it's because it's the closest thing she'd have to a child and she feels a strong emotional bond similar to a child. She has decided to remain child-free for multiple reasons and I have been very supportive of this decision.

Well, she recently took her skink to the vet for a checkup and she was excited to find out her skink's gender. Afterwards I got a text asking if I'd come to her gender reveal party she was having. She explained it was just a small get-together with cake and food for her friends she hasn't seen in a while, with the gender reveal being mostly a joke (and a way to make fun of real gender reveals).

Well, I didn't come. I didn't see a point. It's just a lizard and I'm a busy person. She later called me and expressed she was kind of sad I didn't come cuz it'd been a while since I'd seen her, but she understood I was busy. I told her she couldn't actually expect me to come to a gender reveal for a lizard. She said that it wasn't a real gender reveal, that [it] was more of a joke and... really just a small gathering to catch up with everyone. I told her if that was the case she should've just called it a gathering because I'm not coming to a gender reveal unless it's for a real granddaughter.

She got quiet for a minute and then turned my words around, claiming I wasn't supportive of her decision to be child-free. I told her she can't possibly expect me to treat a lizard as a grand-daughter. [S]he said she didn't expect me to, but it was clear I didn't respect her bond with her lizard and her decision, and she just wanted to see me and my reason for coming was hurtful. I told her she was being ridiculous over a lizard; she claimed it wasn't over the lizard, and it was a gathering and not even centered around the lizard, but I stick by to what I said. It's ridiculous to have a gender reveal for a lizard.

She hung up and I got a message from her best friend about how I'm an a**hole for treating her that way, but I don't think I'm the a**hole for not wanting to go to a party for a lizard?

My issue is that she said the party was a gender reveal; if she had called it just a party I would have come. But calling it a gender reveal makes it sound like it's for the lizard, and I'm not going to that even if it is a “joke.”

I don't know why it matters, but the skink is a girl, which is why I said "I'm not coming to a gender reveal unless it's for a real granddaughter."

Even though I don't agree with my daughter for being child-free, I have been supportive and only shown mild frustration. The reasons she decided to be child-free is she claims she's asexual, she just doesn't want one, she has emotional baggage and feels unable to care for a real child, she fears pregnancy, and she has a carrier gene like me and "doesn't want to go through what I did" (I had four miscarriages and a... child that died after three months due to the gene). Yes, there has been slight tension between us because I think she just hasn't found the right man (she never dated growing up) and her other fears are unnecessarily exaggerated, but it's ultimately her decision and I don't resent her.

We haven't seen each other in three months. I'm a single mother and we have always been close, which is why she invited me with her friends. I just didn't want to go to a party with a lizard, and if it wasn't for the lizard she should've called it a party instead of a gender reveal.

/ApprehensiveFix3425/

10. The Dessert Menu

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For every holiday, my mother would ask the women in the family (my sisters, sister-in-law, my wife, my female cousins) to send "samples" of the desserts they plan to bring to the celebration for testing and to see if these desserts could make it to the “food menu.”

My wife has been complaining about my mother deliberately rejecting every dessert sample she sent. So many times my mother has told her that she's being honest and keeping the guests' best interest at heart. Yet my wife still thought that my mother is deliberately excluding her since two of her dessert samples were rejected before.

For this year's Christmas my mother is doing the same thing, but this time, she told every woman who are participating to make a "cookie sample" and send it to her for testing. My wife took it as a challenge, and to be honest she worked really hard to make a good sample and sent it to my mother days ago... [T]he results just came in yesterday.

I came home from work and found my wife upset. I asked what's wrong, and she told me that my mother rejected the sample she sent and decided to exclude her baking from the food list/menu for Christmas this year. I didn't know what to say, but she then told me she was backing out of the invitation to attend Christmas with my family. I was stunned when I heard her make this statement.

I tried to talk to her but she said "it was done." I called her unreasonable to decide to bail on the whole family over some cookie sample... that's just freaking crazy and quite unreasonable. We had a full on argument about it and she stated that my mother caused this, but I told her that my mother is pretty serious and careful about the food she offers to the guests since we are going to have relatives coming from all sides of [the] country. She told me to stop mentioning it.

Later I heard her cry, despite [me] telling her that her baking is amazing and people have preferences - that's all. AITA for insisting that her decision was unreasonable? If you're asking whose cookie sample made it to the menu, the answer is my sister and my two cousins. My wife wasn't the only one whose sample was rejected. We have SIL's (brother's wife) and my younger sisters.

My mother did not force anyone to participate; it was up to whoever wanted to take part. This is just about the dessert since my mother tends to be very careful in this category, but for other types of foods - dishes/appetizers/salads/stuff like that is welcome as she stated.

So I just got off the phone with my brother and he told me that his wife is doing the same thing as my wife and that she has decided to back out of the invitation to spend Christmas with family as well. Turns out my wife must've told her about her decision and she decided to follow her lead.

My brother is pissed, saying my wife is encouraging his wife to do this. I see that the problem has just gotten bigger now. Who knows, my younger sister might join in and decide not to go as well. I don't know how this got out of control so quickly. I guess we'll try to have a discussion with my mother about this soon and see how it goes.

/user119975444/

11. The Case of the Cinnamon Rolls

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I (30M) have a beautiful wife who loves to serve others. We bought a home down the street from my family. I have a sweet sister (17) who likes to crash at our house with her friends. My wife normally is pretty easygoing until recently. My sisters' friends have been leaving messes. Mostly towels on the floor after using our pool. My wife got upset picking up after them every day.

I have asked my sister to make sure the house is clean after they leave, and it has been better. My wife also complained that some of her perfumes/clothes/personal items have gone missing. My sister said it’s not her. I believe my sister. I just don’t see her doing that. I told my wife and we agreed to just replace them. Last week my wife made a couple of pans of cinnamon rolls from scratch. One pan was for us; the second pan was for a co-worker's family who is experiencing a tragedy.

My wife went to the gym. I went to work and my sister and her friends came by. The one pan wasn’t enough for her and her friends. They wanted the second pan of cinnamon rolls, and my sister texted my wife asking if they could eat them. My wife said no. They ate them anyway. My wife, upset, went and bought new locks. When I came home my wife handed me a new key and told me that she didn’t want anyone else to have a key to our house. I tried to calm her down and tell her that I would just go replace the eaten cinnamon rolls with store-bought ones. My wife decided this was her hill to die on and said no, my sister lost the privilege to come when we are not home. Replacing stolen items wasn’t “good enough” anymore. My mom called and asked if my sister could use the pool [for] a back-to-school party? I was under the impression my mom would be there. I said yes; my mom was at work and our schedules clashed.

The easiest solution was for me to change the locks back so they could come into the house. My mom didn’t come with my sister. When my wife got home after the party, it was a mess. She sent me photos. She called me the A for changing the locks without talking to her about it. (Keep in mind she did, too), then told me I broke her trust. She wasn’t safe in her home because she keeps getting robbed and I refuse to put an end to it (I did talk to my sister). Then, my wife let me know she was staying with a friend for a while. Am I the A here? I feel like I have tried to right any wrongs that have happened between my wife and my sister... I talked to my mom again and let her know my sister isn’t allowed over without me home. I asked a friend's wife who is a maid to come deep-clean our home.

So if/when my wife comes home it’s clean. The last thing is my mom asked me to help cover my sister's cheer. She is on track for a scholarship. I told my mom I would pay half [i]f my wife’s things were returned. If not, the money was going to replace the stolen items. Also, my sister was invited to homecoming. She wanted me to buy a dress. I told her no for not following our home rules, and the money I saved for the dress is going to pay for the maid. I did replace the locks again. I also am planning a romantic dinner I will make and clean up. I heard a lot about the cinnamon rolls.

Someone on here gave me the idea to make them. I am for a dessert. Update: My sister and my mom left a few minutes ago. My sister had a bag of my wife’s things. More than I thought was gone. Most items are in poor shape. The big thing is she had my wife’s grandmother's ring I thought was in the safe. I had no idea it was gone. My sister said that she found it on my wife’s nightstand during the party. She forgot she had it on when she left our home. The ring isn’t valuable; it’s just sentimental. I told my mom who the ring belonged to. My mom lost it. My sister is now grounded.

Last update tonight: My wife is coming home. I am staying at a friend's house until we can work some of this out. I already stated it, but I did put the locks back on my wife bought. My family doesn’t have that key.

Early morning update: My mom called my wife last night and asked what my sister can do to fix/replace the damaged items. My wife said, “Have her meet me every morning at 5 am.” I decided to tag along and see what my wife had planned, trying to support her in whatever punishment she decides to do. You know the cinnamon rolls. My wife’s [co-worker's] 4-year-old is in the final stages of cancer. My wife’s plan is for my sister and her to prepare breakfast, [and] get their other kids up and ready for the day - start laundry, basic cleanup - so her co-worker and his wife can spend as much time as he can with the sick child before work. My sister was silent the whole time coming back home. I can tell it really hit her that her life isn’t as hard. Even being grounded.

Last and final post, my wife has given me a second chance as long as I follow her list of rules: For a while, no family at our home No family borrowing our things. No one is allowed a key. I help with the chores around the house, including cooking meals... My wife is okay with me seeing my sister, but asked that we all go to counseling to understand why my sister is targeting her. My wife said all of this has been really hard and she doesn’t want to cause more issues, but she just doesn’t trust my sister and can’t have her using ou[r] things.

/SockNo7319/

12. Just Some Harmless Fun

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About three months ago, I had a home invasion. It was scary; I have had trouble sleeping since then. Unrelated to that, my boyfriend's family is a fan of pranks. I've already told them all that I don't like it directed towards me. Anyway, my boyfriend and I were visiting his family and having a barbecue, drinking some beers outside. I went inside to use the bathroom, and when I was heading back out, I saw a man in a ski mask hiding at the end of a dark hallway, mostly hidden by a door. I fled for the closest doors out, this pair of [stained-glass] double doors.

I tried the handle and it didn't open, even when I pulled really hard. So in a panic, I grabbed a heavy-looking end table, broke the glass, and ran outside screaming, "Call 911." My boyfriend's dad ran out of the house holding the mask. I was immediately p***ed; I yelled at him for scaring me. He was upset with me about the glass, and I just broke down and cried about how I was scared as sh** this was another real home intruder situation since that had recently happened to me. His mom was getting at me, asking why I had to break the glass, and I said I was scared and the door wouldn't open. She said it was a sliding door... Which made sense, I was pulling on it. But I'd forgotten that in my panic.

Anyway, his dad apologized for scaring me and said he had been waiting for one of his sons or wife to play a joke on them, and when he saw me he just hung back quickly, not trying to do the prank, which was apparently going to be leaping out at someone. But I still saw him standing in the shadows, which I freaked out at. I said that of course I was freaked out by a man in a ski mask hiding in the house, especially when I was alone and drunk. But anyway, after a few days, my boyfriend told me that his mom wants us to cover the cost of the stained-glass doors I broke, which is $3,500!

But my boyfriend doesn't have that kind of savings and his parents know it. So that would mean it's all on me. And I honestly don't think I should owe them for that... Like honestly if you try to scare someone sh**less, it's on you if they break something when they panic. I want to tell them that it's a total joke they're even asking me for the money, but my boyfriend actually thinks we should pay. He says I knew it was a sliding door, plus I didn't have to break it.

I told him that even though I'd used it a while ago, that's not the thing you remember, especially when you only have a minute to act. And honestly he should be proud he's got a girl with the common sense to think on her feet and act fast. If it was a real break in, I'd have saved my own a** and also alerted everyone else sooner than anything. He said the door was really expensive and I said I didn't give a f***, if I had to light a million dollars aflame to save my own a**, I would. There's no price on that kinda thing. AITA for not wanting to pay for the door?

I sent an email to my boyfriend's parents... Here's what it said. They haven't replied yet and I'm not sure if they will tbh. Hey... About paying for the door... It isn't appropriate you were angry with me for breaking a door when (BF's Father's) actions made me fear for my life and I only broke it to save my life. I didn't break it to be vindictive; I broke it because I he put the fear of death into me. I can't conceive of how you all don't understand that creeping around a dark hallway in a ski mask with your hands out of view could be seen as a threat to my life, and something completely inappropriate to do... But I'll still try and explain. That is the behavior or a home intruder, a stalker, a person who may wish me harm.

I had a man stalk me for a year and recently break into my apartment when I was sleeping. He behaved similarly to (BF's Father), quietly sneaking through my home. I was luckily able to subdue him until the police arrived. He is imprisoned now. But that experience caused me to get a pistol for home defense and train on how to use it. That is the level of seriousness I take a home invasion.

It isn't a joke, and it isn't silly or funny. It is life threatening. And that little “joke” made me believe wholeheartedly that I was going to die if I didn't fight or escape by any means necessary. If you are angry about a door, I ask you to reflect on why you value a door over the life of your son's girlfriend. Because expecting me to avoid property damage when running for my life, or trying to blame me for it after the fact...That communicates to me that my life has less value to you than $3,500. And that is something I will never accept.

I did what I needed to to protect myself, and I would do it again regardless of the cost. And if you don't respect that, and don't take full financial responsibility for the consequences of (BF's Father's) joke... You have to understand that you are telling me my life and safety is worth less to you than a door. I'm frankly disgusted that you would even ask me for money after that, rather than trying to make amends.

/GottaHaveSleepyDumbo/

13. Sleepy Dumbo

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My son (4) had a sleepover last night with a friend. This friend's parents were doing my wife and I a huge favor, because my wife's father had surgery yesterday, and we needed to be there and didn't get home until after midnight. So yes, this story begins with us already in debt to them. Anyway, at naptime today my son started freaking out because he couldn't find sleepy Dumbo (his stuffed animal) and he cannot sleep without sleepy Dumbo.

I remembered that when I picked him up I didn't see sleepy Dumbo. So I text the mom and dad of the friend. I get no response. My wife is a wreck, so I'm not bothering her with this, but my son is freaking out. So I tell him we will get in the car and go get sleepy Dumbo and he slightly calmed down. So we drive over and I try to call them both on the way.

When we get there, I knock, and we wait a bit with no answer. At this point my son starts freaking out more because he is afraid something happened to sleepy Dumbo. I try to reassure him, but he starts crying. I knock again, and the wife of the couple answers. She says she is working and asks what I want. I explain about sleepy Dumbo.

She again says she is working, and she says she doesn't have time to look for Dumbo and tells us to come back later. My son starts freaking out more. I ask if we can look. She says she needs to focus. I promise to be fast. She lets me in.

We get to his friend's room, sleepy Dumbo is on the bed. My son gets him, and I hustle us out. I thank the mom, but she is glaring at me. On the way home he hugs sleepy Dumbo the whole time. I remind him to be more careful with sleepy Dumbo in the future, and at home naptime commences peacefully.

About an hour ago my wife and I both got this text. I'm going to copy paste it: {Me} and {my wife} I really don't appreciate the way {me} barged into my house earlier today while I was working. I know you both have a lot going on right now but the world doesn't revolve around you.

{Her husband} and I agreed to do you a favor but that doesn't mean you get to just walk all over us. In the future if you call and we don't answer that means it isn't a good time to come over.

I felt very embarrassed and guilty after reading that. My wife, however, is furious. She called the wife of the other couple some indelicate names. I am really grateful to them for agreeing to babysit for us, and I accept that I am to blame for forgetting sleepy Dumbo the first time.

I don't know if asking to come in and get him is quite as big a deal as she's making it out though, and my wife is pissed. I don't know how much of that is misplaced fear for her dad though. Am I an a**hole, or was this just an unfortunate situation?

/djb447/

14. Little Black Dress

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My (23F) wedding was back on Saturday December 31st and I'm still getting backlash from this, so I want to know if this was an AH move.

In the country I live in it's currently winter, and we get a fair amount of snow so my wedding was a winter themed wedding. The color theme was forest green and gold. My dress was obviously white, and I chose the color of my bridesmaids dresses to be forest green as well. My MOH"s dress was black, and everyone was to wear gold accessories.

I have this friend, we'll call her Kat, that I asked to be one of my bridesmaids. When we went dress shopping and I told them the color theme I was going for, Kat immediately expressed that she thought forest green was a bad choice.

She said the thinks it's not a flattering color, and thought I should choose something different and more "girly". I said no because my wedding was winter themed and I thought the color would go perfect with the theme. She suggested a pink, blue even a red. I said no, but thanks' for your opinion. She found out my MOH"s dress was black and asked if she could wear black too? I said no, only my MOH is wearing black.

I paid for all the dresses. Fast forward to wedding day, everyone's getting their hair and makeup done and Kat show's up 30 minutes late holding a bag that looked like it had a dress inside. I asked her what this was for? She told me it was for later on at the reception if she got uncomfortable and wanted to change after pictures. I was like ok cool.

So fast forward we're all dressed and walking down the stairs because the ceremony is beginning in 30 mins and we were going to take some pictures before. Kat is the last person to come down and she's wearing a BLACK DRESS. At the time I was preoccupied taking pictures with my parents, but my MOH came over to me and made me aware of the situation.

I confronted Kat and asked her what was going on. She said she hates her bridesmaid dress, as the color is ugly and makes her look gross so she's wearing black. I told her please go back and change. She refused and started walking away from me. I said I'm going to ask her one more time, and if she doesn't oblige I'm calling security and kicking her out. She began yelling at me to fuck off, so I called security and asked them to please escort her out. She started making a BIG scene yelling how I'm such a bitch, that I can't force her to wear anything and that I'm a horrible inconsiderate friend.

The wedding went on and it was truly amazing. Ever since the wedding Kat has been blowing up my phone with texts saying some really nasty thing's and asking for the money back she spent on the black dress, since it was a waste and she didn't get to wear it.

I had to block her number. Some of my other bridesmaids have been giving me shit saying that it was a little harsh kicking her out and embarrassing her like that. And that maybe I should give her the money back. AITA for kicking her out?

/bridezillaxoxo/

15. My Girlfriend's Italian Family

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ETA: There may have been some confusion as to my gf's reaction, she was ashamed her family dug so deep into me, not about my response. After wanting to die for the next 48 hours she agreed I did the right thing and that it was funny

Backstory: due to my dad's job we lived in Italy for 3 years when I was younger, so I speak Italian almost fluently (it's been awhile, so I've lost some of it)

Recently I started dating a girl. She's great and I love her so much. I met her family a few nights ago for dinner. She warned me that the male side of her family is very big into being macho, into "testing" the boys the women date and are VERY big on taking pride in their Italian ancestry.

I think besides the grandfather, however, they were almost all born in Bergen County, NJ but whatever, its nice to take pride in ones heritage.

Long story short at dinner they kept making jokes at my expense (I honestly would not call it bullying, just things about my height, beard, shaved head). They tried making fun of my IT job too but stopped once I told them my income. It was overall not a bad experience, but a not so pleasant one.

Anyways, her older brother kept pushing things, giving me exceptional amounts of shit for playing Lacrosse in HS (apparently its a sport for prissy rich kids and not manly like football or baseball).

He ended his rant by saying "hey, we're just a big Italian family, we're loud and tell it how we see it! Hahaha!" and all the family except my girlfriend laughed. So I, for the next minute, responded to everything they said in Italian.

My girlfriend buried her head in shame, the grandfather laughed and everyone else kept looking at each other confused before telling me they didn't speak Italian. I replied "then don't use your Italian heritage as an excuse to behave poorly when you can't even speak the language." They got mad, but the grandfather told them all I was right and to be quiet.

My girlfriend isn't mad, just ashamed, I think the grandfather likes me, but word from my gf's sister is that all the men are furious, think I'm a smart ass and that I disrespected them and their masculinity in an unforgiveable way. So AITA?

u/aitaITAM1990

16. Blessed by the Pope Himself

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So my girlfriend (her 27, me 28) wants to go to this fancy new restaurant in the city that she’s heard good things about. We get there and it seems like one of those hipster places, but whatever, I’m hungry.

I look at the menu and this place is crazy expensive - like every dish is more than $15-$20 and half the ingredients I’ve never heard of. I order the bison steak ($26) and my girlfriend orders some weird pasta, [gnocchi] I think ($18).

Very important, these were listed as ENTREES on the menu. Mind you with drinks plus tip this is going to come out to over $60, which is already ridiculous for dinner for two people.

So anyway we order as we are starving. My steak arrives and I am shocked; it’s like six small pieces of sliced steak with some weird sauce on the side and a small handful of salad. I joke to the waiter “where’s the rest of my steak?” and he explains they serve smaller portions at this restaurant because they focus on getting the highest-quality ingredients.

I don’t care if this bison was blessed by the pope himself; it’s absurd to charge that much for such a small bit of steak; it’s highway robbery. When I go to restaurants I expect an entree to fill me up and be enough for leftovers.

I’m complaining to my girlfriend and she’s getting annoyed with me. Similar situation with her pasta; it was like maybe 12 pieces of [gnocchi] dressed up with some froufrou bulls***. Granted, the food was pretty good, but I cannot get over how tiny these portions are. I’m a big guy and I like to eat, what can I say.

When the waiter comes back I inform him we will not be paying for our meal, and that they are falsely advertising entrees that barely qualify as a light snack. My girlfriend is begging me to stop but that’s where we’re different, I don’t let businesses push me around and rip me off.

A manager comes and apologizes but asks us to leave. I don’t end up paying as they realized I called them out on their bulls***. My girlfriend is silent the entire time on the way back. I'm still hungry so I drive through McDonald’s and get a burger, and when I did that she asked to be dropped off at her place.

It’s now the next day and I’m starting to think I didn’t handle the situation as well as I could have (I could have probably just asked for a discount). My girlfriend hasn’t responded to my texts so now I’m starting to think I’m an a**hole. Am I the a**hole?

/Mission-Ad-5264

17. It Wasn’t My Damn Bronco!

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So how to begin with this... I realize that on paper I am totally the a**hole, but when you dig deeper into my motivations I'm hoping it's more of a gray area that anything else and maybe even I did the right thing.

When I was a teenager my dad bought me a classic 1972 Ford Bronco. It was my true passion and I don't recall a memory from high school that somehow doesn't involve that truck.

Plus, my dad and I would spend hours and hours working on it together, and [when] we went through that especially father/son rough patch when I was teenager, it was always that Bronco that brought us back together. I made a huge mistake and sold the truck when I turned 19, and my dad died of a heart attack two months later, so while not logical, I've always felt a karmic connection between the two events.

We had a baby in early February. She is our first and the light of my life. My wife is doing well but she's back at work and she's realized that she hates all the day cares we've tried and really wants to be a stay-at-home mom... [P]lus, she's still very hormonal from delivery, lack of sleep, and breastfeeding, so she's having a rough time and is angry a lot. I guess I need to say this.

Two weeks ago I was driving through our town's warehouse district and saw a Bronco that was pretty beat up but resembled mine. I stopped just for nostalgia's sake and the owner came out and let me take a look inside. My dad and I had glued a wheat penny under the dash as sort of [a] security measure so I just sort of checked, and goddamned if it wasn't MY BRONCO!

I asked him if he'd ever consider selling it; he said actually someone was on I-25 as we spoke from Colorado to buy it for $21,000. I freaked out and asked him if I could buy it right then and there for $23,000. He said if I could come up with the cash, yes. I had been procrastinating setting up a 529 [college savings plan] so I had $12,000 in savings that my wife's parents had given us.

I maxed out my credit card to Venmo and my mom b[r]ought down a check for $4,000 and I drove away in my old car. It was like a dream come true. Like a literal dream come true. It needs a lot of work I can't afford right now, but it's mine. Like in my driveway mine. Again. I can't even describe what a joy this is. My wife and her parents are furious with me.

They feel I was deceptive, that a "real" man would have sacrificed anything and everything so my wife could go stay at home with his kids, and that's setting aside that they gave us the money for a college fund. My point is my daughter is only 6 months old; we have 18 years to set up a college fund of her.

But this Bronco means everything to me and if I wouldn't have acted it would have been gone forever. Now it can be that same connection between me and my kids. To me it's the literal meaning of happiness. Like I said on paper - a**hole... whole story - grey area. How do you guys see it?

/IceCreamPaintJob/

18. Getting Mad Every Single Time

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My (39M) wife (34F) and I live in at a suburban house with our daughter (10F...). Our neighbour next door (48M...) is a single father with two daughters (14F and 12F). We have been living here for a little more than two years.

My wife really likes watching scary movies, but I have never enjoy them. I get too scared and end up having a bad time, so I prefer to avoid them. Her friends sometimes go with her to the more popular ones but she also likes older, indies, and foreign horror movies.

She has always had a hard time finding people that have this niche interest and that is why it was such a big deal when we met [our neighbor] and found out he also shares this tendency. They very quickly started to make plans to watch movies together. I was invited to be a part of this but refused.

I prefer to just stay at home babysitting [my daughter] and [our neighbor's] daughter while they are in their cinephile reunions. Sometimes they go to movie theaters but other times they just stay at [his] place watching stuff at his home cinema. They usually have to go to another town in order to catch a specific function of some weird movie so it is normal for them to come back very late.

They eventually started doing stuff outside of watching movies, like going out for dinner. [Our neighbor] invited all of us, including the kids, to go with him to a restaurant that a friend of hi[s] owned, but I said no because it was too expensive. I don't like [those] kind of places because I feel they are a waste of money and didn't think the kids would enjoy it either.

I insisted on staying with the kids and let the two of them go be themselves. This has became a regular thing and it is in a way a good deal for me because [our neighbor] pays for my wife's dinner and she [can] no longer complain about me not taking her to fancy restaurants.

As both their movie and dinner nights had became so common, I have grown a little tired of the burden of constantly babysitting the girls. I talk[ed] to my wife and [neighbor] about it, and he explained that he usually does not like leaving his daughters with babysitters.

He says he is really comfortable knowing that they are being watched by an experienced father like me instead of some teenage girl. He nevertheless agreed that it was too much of a load for me and offered to start paying me a standard babysitter fee each time he goes out with my wife.

I thought that was a fair approach to the issue, but my wife was fully against it. She says I should not be paid for babysitting my own daughter nor the daughters of a close friend of our family...

We have been arguing about this, but she insists on this notion and it not open to change. She even gets mad every time I talk to her about this. [Our neighbor] promised me that he will convince her, but he does not seem to have been able to do so either. Am I the A**hole?

/AliveLeg61/

19. Formidable Mobile Groomer

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I'm a dog bather in a corporate salon and I make 11$ hourly, plus usually like 10-25$ a week in tips. I have a regular who has a few MASSIVE Pyrenees akitas (130 pounds each) and she gets a full deshed on all of them, they typically take the entire day to do and they SEVERELY clog up my schedule because we technically are not supposed to book them together.

However I always happily take them because their owner compensates me for my work since corporate can't be fucked to do it. She typically tips 40$ per dog. Lately she has stopped tipping at all despite always saying she's very happy with the results and I get it, I really do, prices are going up everywhere and the economy is shit right now.

Because of this, I made a note for myself and the other groomers to change how we book her, I planned to start taking one of her dogs a day and booking out a little bit farther than she typically does so we can plan the entire week around these dogs. If she can't do this, then I think I'll have to tell her that it's the only way from now on and shell pretty much have to take it or leave it because of how much of a strain it is on us.

It's more inconvenient for her but if I'm not being compensated either by her or the company for how much physical labor these dogs are, then I feel like I should get to make that decision (and the rest of the salon staff is almost 100% in agreement with this, just one person isn't sure). Well, my family disagrees... I was talking about work with my parents and they both feel that I am being completely unfair to the customer and said that I shouldn't make ANY decisions based off of tips.

My mom is a formal mobile groomer and has more experience in this industry than I do, she said that I should continue to let the customer bring them all in at once because if I can physically handle it when I'm being tipped, then I can physically handle it when I'm not being tipped.

Changing things might deter the customer from coming back and that will be bad for business since she is one of the highest paying customers we have at our location. I'm torn because when I say it out loud I do feel like I sound greedy, but when I do the math I feel justified.

The company charges this customer over 100$ per dog for our services. Because I only make hourly, after taxes and without tips, I see about 15$ per dog regardless of breed or what service they get. I'd happily bathe a chihuahua for that price, but not a Pyrenees akita...

Explaining the math a little more since its vague and see where there might be confusion: I get 11$ hourly and work 7.5 hours 5 days a week, so about 82$ a day before tax. Excluding tips and accounting for tax, it's close to 77$ a day and I typically do 5 dogs a day.

Regardless of how long it takes and regardless of breed or service, it comes out to be 15.4$ per dog I do IF I hit that 5 dog mark which I do almost every day. Also, despite the changing her booking, I do very much like this customer and greatly appreciate how much she takes care of her dogs.

[redacted]

20. I am NOT a Miser

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First, some important info: I (30F) have been married to my husband (34M) for eight years now. We live in a culture where you never combine your finances after marriage (some do, but they are the exception to the rule). Also, in the event of a divorce, there is nothing like common property or anything like that. You keep what you bought and anything that has your name on it.

We met while we were studying, graduated the same year, [and] have the same (primary) income (I do some freelance work). We are so in tune [about] everything except how to spend money, and he likes travel while I am a homebody.

Since the first day of marriage, I proposed that we share the expenses (rent, utilities, groceries, cleaning lady...) equally (even though culturally the man is responsible for all of them), then we should have a savings account to save for a house. He didn't want to save for a house; he said that his money is better spent on experiences, and anyway there is nothing wrong with renting untill we are in our 50s, then we can buy a house.

In the end we agreed to have a shared account for expenses, then whatever is left is ours to do with what we want. He tends to take at least two weekend trips with his friends, staying in expensive hotels, going to concerts...

Also, even though I cook almost every meal at home, most times he would just order out for lunch or dinner. I also go on weekend trips with my friends, but they are more day trips to the beach, hiking in the mountains, scuba diving... Each trip costs less than a tenth of what his trips do.

Well, I have been saving for all of these eight years, and now I am about to close on a small apartment, and pay it in full (no interest or monthly payments). The plan is to live there, save what I am used to saving, plus what I used to spend on rent, buy a bigger house, and rent this apartment for extra income.

And now he wants me to add his name to the deed. I flat out told him no, he didn't want to save, he didn't put a cent towards the house, so his name does not go on the deed. I also told him that I plan to buy a bigger house, and now that he doesn't have to pay rent, he can save and put his share toward the next house, then he can have his name on the deed of the house.

Well, he called me an AH, said that this is not what it meant to be married, and took some days off to go on a trip to “cool off.” I don't think I am an AH, but I also tend to be stubborn when it comes to what I perceive as financial irresponsibility. So AITA?

I am not a miser. I still paid for dates, bought him gifts just because I [saw] something he might like, went on one expensive trip a year with him (usually abroad)... etc. I just saved a lot, too.

/random47017/

21. Complaining About Absolutely Everything

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I (25F) lived with my parents (50F and 55M) because it is very close to my service and it is a very expensive area. I can currently live alone, but I didn't because I never needed it and my parents didn't ask.

As time went on and I earned more, I put in air conditioning, made my room smart, as well as the house (Alexa), [and] put a very good shower in the guest bathroom (which I eventually added to my bedroom). I bought quality furniture to my room, etc. My room turned out to be the best in the house because of the changes I made.

And yes, I paid rent to my parents (quite fat, by the way). It's been three months since they came to talk to me, saying it was time for me to change, because they wanted to have their moment alone now and I was able to live on my own. I agreed; after all, I was just living there for ease and convenience.

I found a house, and I would need to make all the changes I planned, so in order not to have to buy [them]... I replaced all the sockets/bulbs/switches (smart) and the shower with common ones (I paid for them all and this increase in energy I paid, too). I also removed the air conditioner and paid to plug the hole it leaves. Besides, of course, all the furniture in my room and Alexas scattered around the house.

My parents started complaining that I shouldn't take everything out, as they were in common use... and that with these changes, I made my room worse and the house in general, too (it's just not smart; everything I bought was quality).

I said that they asked me to move and I'm taking everything I bought, because I needed to [pay for] other expenses (I made a payment on the house), and these items were all bought by me, and all the increase in energy I had was paid only by me too. And that if they wanted to buy, I can help search online, but I would take these items.

They called me selfish because I made the house worse and removed the items in common use, as they were already used to the smart home. They complained even more when I didn't want to leave the 65-inch smart TV in my room as a gift for them (I didn't leave it because it's new and it was too expensive).

I moved a week ago, but they're still upset. All items are brand-new (most less than 1 year old). Yes. it was cheaper for me to replace. Legally I can do this. It's not [the] US; these things are very expensive in my country. AITA?

No replaced item made them lose money; all were replaced by the same (before smart) or better. It's because the smart is twice the price of normal items, so obviously it's of a "lesser" quality compared to smart things. About AC, I didn't put it in the text... they don't use it, I took it mainly because it would gather dust in my parents' house.

/TAMovingout/

22. She’s Working On It

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My wife and I have a 3 year old daughter, Alexis. Both of us work and Alexis has attended daycare since she was 1. In the 2 years since, we have been asked to leave 2 programs because my wife is a micromanager. I admit both of us went into the first program not really understanding daycare.

I quickly learned that they can’t provide personalized care and after learning from her teachers, I reset my expectations. My wife, however, has a lot of anxiety and worries about our daughter. She hates when she gets even a little upset. She’s in therapy and is working on it.

First program, my wife would constantly watch the live feed and call the daycare multiple times a day. We had several talks about it and the school talked to us twice. My wife ended up screaming at one of the teachers and then the director.

We were terminated immediately. Second daycare was a little better because my wife began therapy. But my wife was still so nervous and had a complaint every single day. These were not important things, small things like she saw another child took a toy from Alexis and she would cry.

The teacher would give the toy back to Alexis but my wife didn’t understand why the other child wasn’t punished for it. This daycare didn’t kick us out but did eventually suggest that this may not be the best program for us. My wife and I decided to pull Alexis out. My wife because of her anxiety, myself because I knew my wife had burned bridges and was becoming “one of those moms”.

We chose a smaller home daycare this time as we couldn’t afford another center. The woman who owns it is very nice but also firm. She stands by her boundaries and won’t let my wife break any rules, whereas the centers were definitely more accommodating. My wife would take any inch she got. This time, she doesn’t get that opportunity. I thought all was well as the owner only speaks to my wife for the most part.

Then, I get put in a group text saying my wife has been bombarding the owner with texts every day, despite the owner saying she will text her at lunch when things are settled. She said at this point, she will only be responding at specific times of the day and not looking the rest. The owner then added sent several pages of the contract with passages highlighted, reminding us of certain policies my wife had violated.

I was pissed. When Alexis went to bed that night, my wife and I talked. I said this was our last option for daycare. The other centers are too expensive and this was the only home daycare in the area that we like. A nanny is not in our budget. My wife made a million excuses, including that it’s not her fault she’s anxious.

I said if we are asked to leave this program too, my wife will be the one quitting her job to watch Alexis, not me. This upset my wife. I pointed out I’ve spoken to her kindly about this plenty of times. I encourage her to keep up her therapy. But she can’t keep getting us kicked out of programs. My wife is now not speaking to me. AITA?

/Spirited_Block_6783/

23. You’re Dating Me Not My Parents

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I'm 25M, i have two parents. My birth dad (John) who's 48M and my other dad Dwayne who's 45M. I call my birth dad John, "Dad". And I call my other dad Dwayne, "Pops".

My birth dad John was married to my mom for a few years, then she left my dad and yeah. They ended up divorcing and now she's somewhere in California, idk where or what she's doing. Haven't talked to her in ages.

So dad, and pops i'm super close with. They are the best parents any child could ask for. I love both of them and they've always been with me. My dad introduced me to pops when i was a little boy and they had told me they were in a relationship (and i was all for it because i had saw my dad become lonely/sad when he was single) so seeing the fact that my dad loves someone and has a life partner made me super happy.

Pops & Dad got married, and we've been living an amazing life. I'm probably more to close to Pops then my own dad haha. Due to the fact that Pops is really cool and he's laid back. I love both of them equally and they love me as well, and i'm blessed to have them as parents.

For a few months i've been dating this girl bella who's my age. I thought she's pretty cute and i liked her. So we kicked it and recently she told me "My parents want to meet your parents and want to come over for dinner" I said sure. I'll tell my family.

So yesterday, Friday night. Bella comes in. Pops greets her and says "Come on in sweetheart, dinner is ready". She says "You must be ____ dad so good to meet you" and she shakes his hand and she sees Dad come out of the kitchen "He's holding the mac n cheese tray" with the mittens and is putting it on the table.

Then bella says "Who's he?" i said, "Oh that's my dad". She said "I though he's your dad" she's referring to Pops. I say yeah. That's my pops? And that's my dad? She pulls me to the side and says "I didn't know your parents are gay? Oh my god? why didn't you tell me?"

I genuinely didn't know why, that'd be an issue or so. Because your dating me, not my parents and all. So it shouldn't matter. But i guess it's a concern for her. Her parents come at the door after they parked the car and bella tells her parents "let's leave" and they left.

I told my parents i'm sorry and they said "son don't worry this is nothing new haha" and then we all sat down and enjoyed dinner and went to sleep. So AITA for not telling?

/Dry_Leg_9006/

24. Just a Few Spilled White Claws

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I have what I think is a very good sense of situational awareness. I’m a quick thinker and I tend to not panic in dangerous situations. My fiancee, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. If I’m being nice I would say she doesn't have any awareness of danger.

If I’m being honest I would say that she has the survival instinct of [a] panda raised in captivity. She ha[s] no sense of danger around her, doesn’t constantly examine her surroundings for things that could be dangerous, and when things are bad, her reaction is to panic and scream.

Friday we went out on a friend of mine’s boat and we got into a dangerous situation. We were anticipating light rain but we ended up with a downpour, high winds, and high waves. While me and the other men there were trying to strap things down and keep the boat from capsizing, my fiancee screamed and cried for dear life. She was in hysterics.

And I get it was a scary situation, but [she was] yelling and screaming that “we’re all gonna die” and for god to save us, and literally crying, saying that it’s my fault that she’s on the boat since I asked her to come... None of the other gfs or wives were doing this, just her. I’m sure the other women there were just as scared but tried to keep It in for the sake of the men doing something about it.

The downpour was really bad for about 15 minutes. So 15 minutes of wailing while we are doing everything we can to keep things all right. We made it back safe with little more damage than a few spilled White Claws. On the car ride home I told my fiancee that we needed to talk about how she was behaving during the crisis. Not only was it incredibly embarrassing in front of my boys, but it was distracting, unhelpful, and telling.

I told her that today proved to me that if I was in a life-or-death situation, I could not rely on her to be any help or do anything except make things more stressful. I said she needed to learn how to not panic and be helpful.

She got unbelievably mad. She said she thought she was going to die and had reason to freak out. I told her that all of us were scared but none of us were as ridiculous as she was. We argued the entire ride home and she is still pissed off a[t] me. I think I was right to say this, especially since we plan on spending our lives together and raising a family and I can’t be the only levelheaded one. AITA?

The women there did not help because they did not know how to help. The men there have been out together on the boat countless times before so we all are experienced and know exactly what to do. It’s so much more unsafe for them to be in our way attempting to help if they don’t really know what they’re doing. It’s safer for everyone if they just hang on and keep calm until the issue is resolved.

This has NOTHING to do with them being women. It has everything to do with them not knowing what to do. If another guy had been [there] and didn’t know what to do, I’d tell him to sit tight and let those of us that do know handle it.

[redacted]

25. Faux Concern, You Know the Type

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I have 2 kids, 2f, 4f. I fucking hate how everyone thinks of me as being just a mommy now. I don’t get to be my own person. I’m just mommy. Husband doesn’t face this. He gets gifts from everyone that have to do with his hobbies. Me? I get a bunch of mommy shit. Tee hee, mommy needs wine!

And like matching outfits. I don’t mean like, one of those cutesy matching pajama sets that the nurses and horse girls wear in their staged Christmas insta pics. I mean like, people actually think I’m going to go out in public wearing some cutesy matching outfits with my toddlers. As though I think they’re mini versions of myself? Or dolls?

From the time we got to the in-laws, it was “mama” this and “mama” that. At some point, my SIL said it and I said “You know my name is (Carmen), right?” she just looked at me funny and said “Of course, silly?” I said “So why do you keep calling me “mama”? You aren’t going around calling (husband) papa?” SIL just looked at me like I had 2 heads and was like “Um, okay.”

This went on all over Christmas. Here you go, mama. Want another slice, mama? At that point I was just like “Do you guys mind calling me by my name instead of calling me mama?” The same SIL as before did the whole golly-gee doe eyed thing and said “But you’re such a good mama!”

I said that I’m not JUST a mom. I gestured to the things that husband got for Christmas from them, and said “Why didn’t you guys get him anything that says “papa”? Everything you gave me is somehow related to me being a mom. Why does HE get to be his own person?”

MIL grabbed my hand and squeezed it and said that she was sorry that she made me feel like this. She was just “so excited” about being a grandma and she never really thought of things like that. I was feeling a little better until SIL2 and SIL3 started going after me.

One of them did that whole “Are you okay? Do you need to talk someone? You sound so angry, it isn’t healthy” faux concern thing that’s meant to shame you for having any emotional response. The other one was angry and saying that “is being a mom somehow beneath you” and “do you think you’re better than the rest of us?” and all that.

When we finally left, he asked me why I’d kept it in for so long, and I said that I haven’t. No one listened to me before. I’ve said these things plenty of times. I’ve always asked them to call me by my name and not some disgusting nickname that boils me down to giving birth.

He nodded, but said that I’d put a big pallor on the weekend and that I need to apologize for the outburst at some point. I said sure, as soon as SILs apologize to me for dehumanizing me for years. We’re at a stalemate. AITA?

/Ok_Corner754/

26. The Golden Child

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I'm 18f. I live with my parents and my sister, Joanne, 23f. Joanne has a cocaine habit and she claims its normal in her job and it's just the lifestyle of cheffing, yada yada. My parents seem to be ignoring it since Joanne pays her rent on time and keeps to herself when she's in the house and doesn't cause many problems.

I'm a college student on a government grant, and I'm in college Monday to Friday up until 5/6pm, working isn't really an option for me right now, so I don't go out much and I spend all my money on college supplies. Joanne doesn't seem to understand this and is always asking to borrow money and what not.

I always say no because it works out that I only have €40 every week to spend on college stuff and travel to college.I got a Christmas bonus on my grant and I ended up deciding to book tickets for a small ish local gig that's next week. I booked two, one for me and one for my best friend because her birthday is the same day and she loves the type of music, it was meant to be a surprise for her.

I had told Joanne about this on one of her "good days" because I was genuinely excited to finally do something and live the college student lifestyle for a night. The tickets were digital, on an account shared with my parents.

Joanne had asked for the login telling them that she wanted to book tickets to something, but she was lying and used it to sell my tickets for drug money. I didn't find out until I had gotten the email to confirm that the tickets were sent to someone else and I was really confused at first. I checked and they were sent to someone I know Joanne knows.

I went straight to her when she got home and asked what the fuck she did, and she tried lying but I showed her proof it went to someone she knows and told her I wanted my money back then and there. She told me it was gone already. I lost my mind and started yelling at her, because it wasn't fair.

My mom was just in from work and I was screaming at my sister who was crying at that point saying she was sorry and she didn't know it would upset me this much. My mom got involved and told me to keep my voice down and we'll talk about it, and I told her to shut up and stay out of it.

I ended up saying something along the lines of "why is it fair that you get to do this to me when I've never even drank alcohol or smoked weed, why does the cokewhore get to be the golden child bit not me?".My mom stepped in and put a stop to it then and there, my sister had started screaming back at me for what I called her. My mom said that was out of line and she just made a mistake.

I told my mom her mistake cost me the only night out ill have been able to have all year so she should hear what I have to say about it. My mom thinks I was in the wrong for what I said, and my sister won't even look at me even though its been 3 days and I've tried apologising. AITA?

/GigTicket10294/

27. A Storm is Coming

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I (23F) am an avid hiker in Australia. Last week I encountered a middle aged woman, around 50 years old as I was coming off a trail. She was walking in my direction as I came out of the bush. It was strange to see her, the sun was almost down and the weather was starting to turn. also, this was an intermediate collection of trails at best, difficult even for me at worst. and she didn't look super athletic. Point is, my 'weird' radar was going off already.

She walked up to me and stopped, standing too close for my comfort, gestured toward the clearing where my car was parked, and asked whether it was my car. No greeting or anything. When I looked over something made me uncomfortable- there were no cars other than mine in sight.

The trail I was on isn't crazy far from civilization but it's not a walk away- one of those highway rest stops that's there for the trail and a few parking spots. no way she could have got there without driving.

I let her know that, yes, it was my car, to which she responded something like "Perfect, there's a storm coming, I can't be caught in it and I need to get home". She was very matter of fact. It seemed like she had already decided what would happen. without waiting for my response, she started striding for my car. I am glad I always lock my doors because she would have hopped right in the passenger seat had the door opened.

As she was walking over to it, I went after her trying to explain that I wasn't sure it was a good idea for her to hitch a ride- asking why she was out here in the first place. I was talking to a brick wall until she realised the car was locked, at which point she turned around with this look of anger and frustration on her face.

She starts ranting- the same stuff as before "I NEED to get home" "A STORM is coming" "I CANNOT be caught in it" "Why don't you get it?!". I was very confused at this point, and a little scared, as this woman was now a barrier between me and my vehicle. I told her something like 'I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable with having a stranger in my car'.

She stared me down for a few seconds, I guess trying to gauge her chances at asking again. And just like that, the anger drops from her face and she’s silent. I was really uncomfortable. I asked if I could call someone, if there was another way to help. she starts walking- towards me (scary), but then right past me.

I'm still asking her questions, then just saying things like "hello" and "excuse me". no response. She walked to the other end of the rest stop and maintained eye contact with me as she sat down on a log, then just stared at nothing.

I didn’t follow her. I got into my car really shaken up and drove away. As soon as I was back in cell range I called fire and rescue, they said they would send someone out. I was scared for my safety in the moment, but she was just some woman alone in the middle of nowhere. Am I the asshole for refusing this strange woman a ride/shelter in my car?

/slugkittenmow/

28. I Had Three Ideas

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I (F23) have been told my entire life that if anything happens to my parents I will be my sister's guardian. She is 33 and has some disabilities. She is currently living in a group home. The government pays for a good portion of the cost but not all. My parents have made sure that they have accessed every resource available for her to make sure she has as good a life as she can.

I was we were visiting her this last weekend when they brought it up again. They are both reasonably healthy but they both had health scares in the last couple of years. They once again said that I would be her guardian.

I have been giving this a fair bit of thought. I have two older brothers. They are both married and established in their careers. They would be better choices than I am. I want to go see the world. I am lucky enough that my job can be done from anywhere that I can access the internet.

When we went sort dinner I brought it up and said that I had three ideas.

-They make all three of us her guardians so we could split the responsibilities and duties.
-They leave their entire estate to my sister in a trust that will oversee her care.
-They leave me their entire estate with the proviso that I become her sole guardian and take full responsibility. Minus sentimental stuff for the rest of my family obviously.

I thought that was fair since it's not like they are rich and their estate will mostly consist of their house and the insurance policies they took out when they realized the long term costs of care for my sister.

They said that I'm trying to shirk my responsibility to my sister and that I'm greedy for trying to get everything. I had one last suggestion and they really hated it. I said that they were welcome to cut me completely out of their will. But that had to include guardianship of my sister. They could leave everything to her and my brothers but that meant I would be completely free of responsibility for her care.

My dad got really angry and my mom was crying when I left. My brothers both called me to say I was being an asshole springing this on my parents. And that I was being greedy trying to keep them and their families from getting anything when our parents pass away.

I asked both if them if they wanted 100% responsibility for our sister in return for the entire estate. I volunteered to sign away everything to them. Neither one took me up on the offer.

/Illustrious_Fig5484/

29. The Full Story

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Brief backstory: About a year ago my last remaining grandparent passed away and my father inherited all assets, including a house. I had been saving for a nice down payment (at least 50%) so I could have a lower mortgage payment each month, thus allowing me to save money for travel.

When my father inherited this house, which he had no interest in moving into yet, he offered to sell it to me for slightly below market rate, with the caveat that he and my stepmother could eventually move into the basement apartment. I agreed, because they're both incredible people who are not at all invasive and would give me my privacy if they lived there. So I paid a 60% down payment, financed the rest, and moved in.

Present day: About six months ago I started considering renting out the finished basement apartment. It has two bedrooms, one bathroom, a living room, and a small kitchenette (sink, fridge, microwave, but no oven). A friend of mine said his brother was moving to my city and needed a place. He's a brand new teacher and doesn't make great money, so he needed a place that wasn't expensive. I offered to let him rent my basement for way less than market rate ($650) which would include utilities. He readily accepted and signed a year long lease.

Well a few days ago he asked if he could start paying the landlord directly instead of giving me rent money each month. I was under the impression my friend had told him I own the house, so I was confused and I told him we don't have a landlord and that I'm the owner. He got very upset and screamed at me for "lying for over six months" and "taking advantage of him" by making him pay so much in rent.

For the record, an apartment similar to the one in my house would be well over twice what he's paying me, closer to three times for something as nice. He asked how much of my mortgage he's covering and I said "Why does that matter? You're getting a nice, quiet place to live, access to a full kitchen and laundry room, and you're paying an amount that you can afford. My personal finances aren't really a factor here." He stormed out of the room and slammed the basement door. He's still not speaking to me.

I asked a few other friends and some family members, and most said I'm wrong for having him cover my mortgage payments. Only a few say I'm in the right. So AITA for having my roommate cover $650 of my $775/month mortgage?

ETA: He has a lease so I won't be evicting him over this alone. If he does any damage or becomes hostile, I'll look at the eviction process. But for now, he will remain unless he chooses to break the lease (which I'd allow him to do if he wants). He also didn’t bother to read the lease before signing. The lease clearly states I’m the homeowner. I didn’t trick him or keep info from him. He simply didn’t read what he was signing.

I didn’t get the house for almost free as some people choose to believe. My father sold it to me for about 75% of its value, more or less as an advance on “rent” he and my stepmother will pay when they move in here in a few years.

We already agreed they won’t pay monthly rent but will contribute to utilities and groceries at that time. I also made a 60% down payment so I have quite a bit invested, as well at paying about $1500/month out of pocket for taxes, insurance, maintenance, utilities, etc.

/BurningMyBridges72/

30. Really Listen

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A little bit more than a year ago, I asked for advice on how to deal with my stepson. I was ripped to shreds in the comments, and deservedly so. For those who haven’t read the post: I didn’t feel like my stepson was respecting my authority after I imposed overly strict rules upon him.

I’ve had a few people ask for an update, but first, I wanted to clear up one thing. Many people assumed that I took an under privileged kid and put him in a school full of rich kids. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Before we married, he and his mother were very well off.

We both have really well paying jobs, the only reason he was in a public school was because the schools in our area are really great. The only reason he was switched to the private school is because it is a STEM school and I thought that would be beneficial to him.

Now on to the update. After reading the comments telling me how horrible of a stepfather I was, I felt sick. This may seem unbelievable but I was genuinely trying to do right by him and I was beside myself realizing that I did more harm than good. My stepson never knew his father, and I jumped at the chance to have that special father/son bond with him.

I eased up on many of the restrictions I placed, he no longer has to surrender his phone and while we still do have family time, it’s about once a week instead of every night. He no longer has a bedtime and while his mom follows him on his socials (I do not) I no longer demand this passwords to anything.

The only time I have asked him to babysit is in the case of an emergency but surprisingly, now that I’ve stopped, he’s been offering to babysit every once in a while. As for the school issue, he is still at the school we switched him too.

We had many long talks about this very issue and he ultimately decided to finish out his high school career at the school because, while he missed his friends, he was able to recognize that this new school offered him the best opportunity to get into the college he really wants to attend.

Since all of this, the relationship between my stepson and myself has drastically improved. For his 17th birthday we offered to get him a car and he and I had a really nice time picking out the right one. I’ve taken him to a few basketball games which he loves (and I’ve enjoyed learning about the sport from him). He actually got a girlfriend and came to me for advice about dating which is not something that would have happened before.

I will say this, I am blessed with an incredibly smart, kind and compassionate stepson; Other kids may not have been so forgiving, and rightfully so. I urge other stepparents out there to really listen to their stepchildren instead of automatically trying to take over, you may not be as lucky as I was.

/nervousaccomplice74/

31. Again?!?!?

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My (21F) sister (32F) has been married to her husband (33M) for eight years. They already have six kids total, the last one born five months ago. Yesterday, my sister had announced that she's three months pregnant with twins, and while everyone was congratulating her, I said out loud, "Oh my god, again?? Can't your stupid husband leave you alone??" I didn't mean to say it out loud, but it slipped out and my sister looked at me angrily and literally dragged me into another room and asked, "Why tf did you say that?"

I told her that she and her husband have been pregnant every year for the last eight years and that she needs to take a break. I was worried about her having so many babies in such a short time and I didn't want anything bad happening to her.

She then said, “How about YOU leave us alone and worry about your own s**t? This is MY life, so f*ck off.” My mother told me that I should apologize for being rude, but I told her that I won't apologize for showing concern. But now I just can't help thinking that maybe I was being an a*****e and sticking my nose into other people's business. I was just worried, but maybe I was being a jerk. AITA?

Yes, I do babysit my sister's kids sometimes, and all six of them at the same time whenever they need me to and if I'm available. They pay me $30-$50/hour, but their kids are pretty destructive and they don't respect other adults like they're supposed to, so it's a full chore watching after them.

I'm aware that the "stupid husband" comment was inappropriate, but I have almost no filter and my stupid mouth says s**t before my brain can stop it. And ummm... I've seen some comments talk about the ages and assuming my sister is 21? I'M 21F, my sister is 32F, and her husband is 33M.

I apologized to my sister for insulting her husband and making that rude comment, but I told her that I'm still worried about her having so many kids back to back, and that [I'm] just concerned in general about her health and well-being.

She actually forgave me, and she said it's because 1) I'm her youngest sister; 2) she knows about my problem with keeping my thoughts to myself and that I'm working on myself; and 3) she knows that I am concerned for her and she appreciates it, but she has assured me that she's fine and said that this pregnancy wasn't planned and her husband plans on getting a vasectomy because they both want this pregnancy to be the last.

For those asking, she and her husband can afford to have kids. He runs a very successful business and she is still co-partner with her best friend in a company that they both started before she got married. How she manages to juggle being a full-time mom and work here and there is beyond me, but she does.

That's why I babysit sometimes when the nanny isn't available 24/7. Her husband was the one who initially wanted a big family, and my sister just went along with the idea. But that's their business.

/homewrong44

32. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Pay for My Sister's Wedding Dress?

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Hey Reddit, I'm in a bit of a pickle and need your opinion. So, my sister, who's been planning her wedding for over a year, finally found her dream dress. It's ridiculously expensive, and she can't afford it. Our parents aren't in a position to help, so she turned to me.

I'm doing well financially, but I've worked hard for every penny. I told her I'd contribute a reasonable amount, but she's insisting I pay for the entire dress, which costs more than my car.

She argues that I owe her since she helped me out during my college years, but that was more moral support than financial. I feel like she's guilt-tripping me into this.

Things escalated when she told our whole family, who are now pressuring me to just pay up. They're calling me selfish and unsupportive, but I think it's her responsibility to budget for her own wedding.

My sister hasn't spoken to me in weeks, and my parents are disappointed in me. I'm starting to wonder if I'm being unreasonable here.

But here's the thing - she's always had a taste for the finer things in life, and I don't want to enable her extravagant lifestyle, especially when it's something I wouldn't even buy for myself.

I've offered to help her find a more affordable dress or pay for other wedding expenses within reason, but she's fixated on this one dress.

I'm feeling really torn. I love my sister and want her to have a great wedding day, but I also don't think it's fair to expect me to foot the bill for her dream dress.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to pay for my sister's wedding dress?

FinanciallyCautious

33. Am I the Asshole for Telling My Neighbor to Control Their Dog? Part 2

Media Source

Reddit, I need your judgment. I live in a pretty quiet neighborhood, but my new neighbors have this dog that just won't stop barking. It's been weeks, and it's driving me insane.

I tried talking to them politely about it, suggesting a dog trainer or even a bark collar, but they brushed me off, saying dogs will be dogs.

It's gotten to the point where I can't even enjoy my backyard. I've lost sleep over this and even missed an important work meeting because I was so tired.

Yesterday, I lost my cool and yelled over the fence, telling them to control their damn dog or I'd call animal control.

They're now accusing me of being a heartless asshole who hates animals. But I'm just at my wit's end. I love dogs, but this is too much.

Some of my other neighbors agree with me but are too afraid to say anything. I feel like I'm the only one willing to stand up to this issue.

I'm worried about the relationship with my neighbors going forward, but I also believe everyone has the right to peace in their own home.

I've considered calling animal control, but I don't want to cause more drama. I'm just looking for some peace and quiet.

So, am I the asshole for telling my neighbor to control their dog?

SleeplessInSuburbia

34. Am I the Asshole for Canceling My Best Friend's Surprise Party?

Media Source

Okay, Reddit, here's the situation. My best friend has been going through a tough time lately, and I thought a surprise party would cheer her up.

I planned everything down to the last detail and invited all our friends. But a few days before the party, she told me she's really not in the mood for celebrations and prefers quiet time.

I decided to cancel the party, thinking it's what she would want. When I told our friends, they got upset, saying I was overreacting and should've just gone through with it.

Now, my best friend found out about the canceled party and feels guilty and upset that I didn't go through with it. She thinks I'm mad at her.

I was just trying to respect her wishes, but now everyone's mad at me. My friends think I'm a party pooper, and my best friend feels like a burden.

I'm starting to question if I should've just ignored her and thrown the party anyway. Maybe she would've ended up enjoying it.

I feel like I can't win. I try to be considerate, and it backfires. This whole situation has caused so much drama.

I'm wondering if I was too hasty in canceling the party and if I should've just pushed through with the original plan.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for canceling my best friend's surprise party?

PartyFiasco

35. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Lend My Car to My Brother?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I'm in a bind and could use some outside perspective. My brother recently asked to borrow my car for a weekend trip. He doesn't have a great track record with vehicles.

He's been in multiple accidents and isn't the most responsible driver. I've worked hard to buy my car and take care of it.

When I refused, he got really upset, saying family should help each other out. He reminded me of the time he helped me move to my new apartment.

My parents are siding with him, saying I'm being selfish and should trust my brother more. But I just can't risk my car getting damaged.

I offered to help him rent a car, but he says it's not the same and that I'm being overly cautious and unsupportive.

I feel stuck between wanting to help my brother and protecting my property. It's causing a lot of tension in the family.

I'm starting to feel guilty, but I also think it's unreasonable to expect me to just hand over my car, knowing his history.

I love my brother, but I've worked hard for what I have, and I don't think it's fair to put my belongings at risk.

So, am I the asshole for refusing to lend my car to my brother?

CarefulCarOwner

36. Am I the Asshole for Keeping a Found Wallet?

Media Source

Reddit, I need your take on this. I found a wallet on the street the other day. It had a decent amount of cash, but no ID or cards.

I waited around for a bit to see if anyone would come looking for it, but no one showed up. So, I took it home, thinking I'd try to find the owner later.

I mentioned it to a friend, and they said I should just keep the cash as a 'finders fee' since there's no way to track the owner.

I was tempted, I won't lie. Money's been tight lately, and it felt like a lucky break. But I also felt guilty about keeping someone else's money.

Then, a few days later, I saw a poster in the neighborhood about a lost wallet, matching the description of the one I found.

I didn't return it. I convinced myself that the person was probably well-off to carry that much cash and wouldn't miss it as much as I needed it.

My friend says I did nothing wrong, but I can't shake off the feeling that I might have been an asshole in this situation.

I keep wondering if I should've at least tried to return it or if keeping it was really justified given my circumstances.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for keeping the wallet I found?

FinderKeepers

37. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Attend My Cousin's Destination Wedding?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I've got a family dilemma. My cousin is having a destination wedding in Italy. It sounds amazing, but it's incredibly expensive to attend.

I just bought a house and money is tight. When I told my cousin I couldn't afford to go, she got upset and accused me of not caring about family.

My parents and other relatives are pressuring me to take out a loan to attend. They say it's a once-in-a-lifetime event and I'll regret missing it.

I love my cousin, but I feel like it's unreasonable to expect someone to go into debt for a wedding. I've offered to celebrate with them when they return.

The whole situation has caused a rift in the family. I'm being labeled as selfish and unsupportive, which hurts.

I'm trying to be responsible with my finances, and it seems unfair that I'm being punished for it. I don't want to strain my relationship with my family, though.

My cousin hasn't spoken to me since I declined the invitation, and I'm feeling really guilty. Maybe I should just find a way to make it work?

I'm torn between standing my ground and trying to mend things with my cousin and the rest of the family.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to attend my cousin's destination wedding because of financial reasons?

BudgetBound

38. Am I the Asshole for Selling My Friend's Concert Tickets?

Media Source

Okay, Reddit, hear me out. I bought concert tickets for me and my friend months ago. They were pretty expensive, but it was a band we both love.

Last minute, my friend bailed on me because of a date. I was upset, especially since they didn't offer to pay for their ticket.

I ended up selling the tickets online for more than I paid. The concert was sold out, and the demand was high.

When my friend found out, they were furious. They said I should've given them the extra money since it was their ticket.

I argued that since they bailed and didn't pay for the ticket, I had every right to sell it and keep the profit.

Now, they're accusing me of being greedy and a bad friend. I just think I made the best out of a disappointing situation.

I'm wondering if I should've just eaten the cost of the ticket or given them a cut of the profit to avoid this drama.

It's caused a lot of tension between us, and I'm not sure if I handled it the right way.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for selling my friend's concert ticket and keeping the profit?

ConcertConundrum

39. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Share My Lottery Winnings?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm in a weird spot. I won a small lottery jackpot - nothing life-changing, but a significant amount.

I decided to use it to pay off some debts and save the rest. But when my friends found out, they expected me to treat them.

They've been making comments about how I should share my good fortune and take them on a vacation or out for expensive dinners.

I've always been careful with money, and this windfall is a chance for me to secure my future. I don't want to squander it.

My refusal has led to some of them calling me selfish and stingy. They're acting like I owe them a share of my winnings.

I've helped these friends out in the past with small loans and favors, so their reaction is really disappointing to me.

I'm starting to feel isolated and wonder if I'm being too tight-fisted. But I also think it's my right to choose how to use my money.

This whole situation is making me question my friendships and whether they value me or my money more.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not sharing my lottery winnings with my friends?

LuckyButGuilty

40. Am I the Asshole for Not Wanting to Babysit My Nephew Anymore?

Media Source

Reddit, I need some advice. I've been babysitting my nephew every weekend for the past year to help my brother and his wife.

Lately, my nephew has become really difficult to manage. He doesn't listen, throws tantrums, and has even broken a few things in my house.

I talked to my brother about it, but he just brushes it off as normal kid behavior and says I should be more understanding.

I'm not a parent, and I'm at my wits' end. I told my brother I need a break from babysitting.

He and his wife got really upset with me, saying I'm abandoning them when they need help. They rely on me for free childcare.

I feel taken for granted and overwhelmed. I love my nephew, but I also value my peace and personal time.

I'm starting to resent the expectation that I should always be available to babysit, especially when it's affecting my own well-being.

I want to support my brother, but I also need to set boundaries for myself. This decision is causing a lot of family tension.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not wanting to babysit my nephew anymore because he's become too difficult to handle?

OverwhelmedAunt

41. Am I the Asshole for Keeping My Roommate's Delivery by Mistake?

Media Source

So, Reddit, I've got a moral dilemma. My roommate and I both ordered items online. By mistake, I opened a package that turned out to be theirs.

It was an expensive gadget I've been wanting for a while. I convinced myself it was a mix-up in our orders and decided to keep it.

A few days later, my roommate started asking about their missing package. I didn't say anything.

They contacted the company, and after an investigation, they were told the package was delivered.

I'm feeling guilty, but I've grown attached to the gadget. Plus, the company offered my roommate a refund.

My roommate is frustrated about the whole situation, and I feel like I'm in too deep to confess now.

I justified it to myself because we've had issues before where they borrowed my things without asking.

This lie is weighing on me, and I'm worried about the consequences if my roommate finds out the truth.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for keeping my roommate's delivery by mistake and not confessing?

PackagePandemonium

42. Am I the Asshole for Not Inviting My Brother to My Wedding?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm in a tough spot. I'm getting married soon, and I decided not to invite my brother. We've had a strained relationship for years due to his substance abuse issues.

He's been in and out of rehab, and every family gathering with him ends up in a scene. I just want my wedding day to be peaceful and happy.

My parents are upset about my decision. They think I should give him another chance and that a wedding could be a good opportunity for him to feel included.

I understand their point, but past experiences have left me anxious. I don't want to risk having my wedding day ruined.

My fiancé supports my decision, but I can't shake off the feeling of guilt. Am I abandoning my brother when he might need family the most?

I've tried to reconcile with him in the past, but it always ends up in disappointment. I'm torn between family loyalty and protecting my own peace of mind.

The rest of my family is divided. Some agree with me, while others think I'm being heartless.

This situation is causing me so much stress during a time that's supposed to be happy. I keep wondering if I'm making the right choice.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not inviting my brother to my wedding because of his past behavior?

WeddingWoes123

43. Am I the Asshole for Keeping My Neighbor's Misdelivered Package?

Media Source

Reddit, I need your judgment on this. I received a package that was meant for my neighbor. It was a high-end kitchen appliance that I've wanted for a long time.

I knew it was a mistake, but I convinced myself that it was a 'happy accident' and decided to keep it. My neighbor is well-off and probably wouldn't miss it.

A week later, my neighbor started asking around if anyone had seen their package. I didn't say anything.

They seemed really upset about it, and I started to feel guilty. But I'd already used the appliance and didn't know how to return it without admitting what I did.

My partner thinks I should come clean, but I'm worried about the consequences and the awkwardness it would cause.

I keep justifying it to myself that it was their fault for not checking the address properly. But deep down, I know I'm in the wrong.

This has been weighing on me, and I'm not sure what to do. Keeping the appliance feels great, but the guilt is eating at me.

I'm worried about getting caught and what that would mean for my relationship with my neighbor and my reputation in the neighborhood.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for keeping my neighbor's misdelivered package and not saying anything?

PackagePredicament

44. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Lend Money to My Friend?

Media Source

Alright, Reddit, I need some perspective. My friend, who's always been bad with money, asked me for a significant loan to pay off some debts.

I've lent them money before, but they've never paid me back on time, and it's always a hassle to get my money back.

This time, I said no. I told them I couldn't afford to lend them money, especially since I'm saving up for some personal goals.

They got really upset, calling me selfish and a bad friend. They reminded me of all the times they've helped me in the past.

I feel like a jerk, but I'm tired of being treated like a bank. I've worked hard for my savings and have my own financial responsibilities.

Our mutual friends are split. Some think I should help out, while others agree that I've done enough already.

I'm starting to question if I'm being too harsh. Maybe I should just lend them the money as a gesture of friendship?

This situation is causing a lot of tension and has me reevaluating my friendship. I don't want to lose a friend over money, but I also need to protect my finances.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to lend money to my friend who's bad with finances?

FiscalFriend

45. Am I the Asshole for Not Giving Up My Seat on a Crowded Bus?

Media Source

Reddit, I had an awkward encounter on the bus and need your opinion. It was a really crowded bus, and I managed to get a seat.

A few stops later, an elderly person got on. There were no seats left, and everyone just kind of looked away.

I usually would offer my seat, but I was feeling really unwell that day. I had a bad headache and was feeling dizzy.

No one else offered their seat, and the elderly person had to stand. I felt guilty but also too sick to stand up.

Another passenger started muttering about how disrespectful and selfish young people are today, and I felt like they were talking about me.

I'm torn because I believe in being respectful and kind, especially to the elderly, but I was genuinely not feeling well.

Now, I'm wondering if I should've just pushed through my discomfort and given up my seat.

It's been bothering me, and I'm not sure if I was being selfish or if it's okay to prioritize my health in that situation.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not giving up my seat on a crowded bus to an elderly person because I was feeling unwell?

BusDilemma

46. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Share My Work Project?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm in a bit of a professional pickle. I've been working on a project at work for months, and it's finally getting some recognition.

A colleague, who hasn't contributed at all, asked if they could present the project with me to our boss, essentially taking partial credit.

I refused. I've put in all the effort, and they've been noticeably absent throughout the process.

Now, they're accusing me of being uncooperative and not a team player. They've even complained to our boss about it.

I believe in teamwork, but this feels like they're trying to piggyback on my hard work.

My boss hasn't taken sides, but the tension in the office is palpable. Some colleagues think I should have just let them present with me.

I'm starting to feel isolated at work, but I also feel strongly about standing up for my efforts and not letting someone else take credit.

This situation is affecting my job satisfaction and my relationships with my colleagues. I'm second-guessing if I made the right decision.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to share my work project with a colleague who didn't contribute?

ProjectPride

47. Am I the Asshole for Cancelling My Friend's Surprise Party?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I'm in a weird spot. I planned a surprise birthday party for my best friend, but I cancelled it last minute. Here's why.

My friend has been stressed with work and personal issues. I thought a party would cheer them up, but they told me they just wanted a quiet birthday this year.

I respected their wishes and cancelled the party. But when our friends found out, they were upset, saying I overreacted and should have thrown the party anyway.

Now, my friend knows about the cancelled party and feels bad. They think I'm mad at them for not wanting a celebration.

I was trying to be considerate, but it's turned into a huge mess. Some friends think I ruined their chance to have fun.

I'm second-guessing my decision. Maybe I should have just gone through with the party and made it a low-key event?

The whole situation has caused unnecessary drama. I feel like no matter what I chose, it would have been the wrong decision.

I'm stuck between wanting to respect my friend's wishes and feeling guilty for upsetting our other friends.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for cancelling my friend's surprise party because they wanted a quiet birthday?

PartyPlannerPanic

48. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Share My Inheritance?

Media Source

Reddit, I need some unbiased opinions. I recently inherited a significant amount of money from a distant relative.

My siblings, who weren't mentioned in the will, are demanding that I share the inheritance with them.

I don't feel obligated to share because we were never close to this relative, and they chose to leave the money to me.

My siblings argue that it's unfair and that we should split it equally. They're making me out to be greedy.

I've offered to help them out with some bills and expenses, but they insist on getting a portion of the inheritance.

This has caused a rift in the family. I feel like they're being entitled, but at the same time, I wonder if I'm being selfish.

The situation is stressing me out. I don't want money to ruin our relationship, but I also want to respect the wishes of the relative who left me the inheritance.

I'm torn between wanting to maintain peace in the family and feeling like I have the right to keep what was legally left to me.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to share my inheritance with my siblings?

InheritanceIssues

49. Am I the Asshole for Not Inviting My Co-Worker to My Wedding?

Media Source

Okay, Reddit, I've got a situation. I'm getting married soon and decided not to invite a co-worker who assumes we're good friends.

We're friendly at work, but I don't feel close enough to them to invite them to my wedding, which is a small, intimate affair.

They found out about the wedding and are hurt that they're not invited. They confronted me about it, saying they thought we were friends.

I tried to explain my reasoning, but they're taking it personally and making it awkward at work.

My other co-workers are divided. Some think I should have invited them to avoid drama, while others agree with my decision.

I'm starting to feel guilty, but my wedding is important to me, and I only want people I'm close with to be there.

The tension at work is increasing, and I'm worried about the long-term impact of my decision.

I'm wondering if I should just invite them to keep the peace, but it doesn't feel right to me.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not inviting a co-worker to my wedding because we're not close?

WeddingWoesWorker

50. Am I the Asshole for Keeping My Ex's Pet?

Media Source

Reddit, I've got a moral dilemma. My ex and I broke up six months ago, and I kept our pet, a dog we both loved.

The dog was technically my ex's, but I was the one who took care of it most of the time. My ex travelled a lot for work.

Now, my ex is back in town and wants the dog. I've grown really attached and don't want to give him up.

I told my ex that the dog is better off with me, considering their lifestyle. My ex is accusing me of being spiteful and selfish.

My friends are split on this. Some say the dog should stay with me, while others think I should return him to my ex.

I feel like I'm in the right because I provide a stable home for the dog, but I also understand that my ex has a bond with him.

The situation is causing me a lot of stress. I love the dog and can't imagine giving him up.

I'm worried about the legal implications and the potential for this to escalate into a bigger conflict.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for keeping my ex's pet because I've been the primary caregiver?

PetCustodyConfusion

51. Am I the Asshole for Not Lending My Car to a Friend?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm feeling conflicted. A friend of mine asked to borrow my car for a weekend road trip.

I said no because they have a hiof being reckless and I'm concerned about the safety of my car.

My friend got upset, saying I don't trust them and that I'm being overprotective of a replaceable object.

I've worked hard to buy and maintain my car, and I don't feel comfortable lending it out, especially to someone who's not careful.

Now, they're giving me the cold shoulder and telling our mutual friends that I'm being unreasonable.

I feel like a bad friend, but I also believe it's my right to decide who can use my property.

The situation has put a strain on our friendship. I hate the tension, but I'm not sure if I should compromise on something this important to me.

I'm starting to question whether I'm overreacting or if I'm justified in wanting to protect my belongings.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to lend my car to a friend who has a hiof recklessness?

CarCareConundrum

52. Am I the Asshole for Not Sharing My Bonus with My Partner?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm in a tough spot and need some perspective. I recently received a significant bonus at work for a project I led.

My partner, who I've been with for two years, thinks I should share the bonus with them, arguing that we're a team in everything.

I feel like this bonus is a result of my hard work and dedication. I want to use it for some personal goals and savings.

My partner is upset, saying that I'm being selfish and not considering our future together.

I've always been financially independent and believe in managing my own money. My partner, however, often struggles with finances.

This disagreement has caused tension in our relationship. I'm starting to question if I'm being unreasonable.

I've offered to pay for a small holiday for both of us, but my partner insists on having half of the total bonus.

I'm torn between wanting to be fair to my partner and feeling like I have the right to my own earnings.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not sharing my work bonus with my partner?

BonusDilemma

53. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Give My Ex a Second Chance?

Media Source

Okay, Reddit, here's the situation. My ex recently reached out, asking for a second chance after they cheated on me a year ago.

I've moved on and am currently happy in a new relationship. I told my ex I wasn't interested in rekindling anything.

My ex accused me of being cold-hearted and unforgiving, saying people deserve second chances.

Some of my friends think I should hear my ex out, arguing that people can change.

I feel like I've closed that chapter of my life and don't owe my ex anything, especially after how they hurt me.

This whole ordeal has brought back a lot of painful memories, and I'm trying to focus on my current relationship.

I'm starting to feel guilty, like maybe I'm being too harsh. But the thought of going back to my ex just doesn't sit right with me.

I wonder if I'm being unfair, or if it's okay to prioritize my own happiness and peace of mind.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to give my ex a second chance after they cheated on me?

PastIsPast

54. Am I the Asshole for Telling My Friend Their Art Isn't Good?

Media Source

Reddit, I need some advice. My friend, an aspiring artist, asked for my honest opinion on their art.

I didn't want to lie, so I gently told them that their work needs improvement and isn't quite professional level yet.

They got really upset, accusing me of not being supportive and understanding how hard they've worked.

I feel terrible. I was trying to be helpful and honest, but maybe I was too blunt.

Other friends have told them their art is great, so now I look like the bad guy for saying otherwise.

I value honesty in friendships, but I'm wondering if I should have just sugarcoated my feedback.

My friend hasn't spoken to me since, and it's affecting our friend group. I hate that I've hurt them.

I'm questioning if honesty was really the best policy in this situation, or if I should have been more tactful.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for telling my friend their art isn't good in an honest feedback session?

HonestCritic

55. Am I the Asshole for Not Wanting My In-Laws to Move In?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I'm in a predicament. My spouse wants their parents to move in with us due to their financial troubles.

I'm not comfortable with this idea. I value my privacy and think it would strain our marriage.

My spouse is upset, saying that family should come first and that I'm being selfish.

Their parents are nice, but we have different lifestyles, and I fear it would disrupt our home life.

I've suggested other solutions, like helping them find an affordable place nearby, but my spouse insists on them moving in with us.

I'm feeling pressured and cornered. Our home is my sanctuary, and the thought of losing that space is distressing.

This issue is causing arguments and resentment. I'm worried about the long-term impact on our marriage.

I want to support my spouse, but not at the cost of my own happiness and comfort.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not wanting my in-laws to move in with us?

HomeHarmony

56. Am I the Asshole for Keeping a Lost Dog I Found?

Media Source

Reddit, I've got a moral quandary. I found a lost dog a few months ago, and after trying to find its owner with no success, I decided to keep it.

I've grown really attached to the dog. We've bonded, and it feels like it was meant to be.

Recently, I saw a poster about a missing dog that looks exactly like the one I found.

I'm torn. I love this dog, but I also know someone out there is missing their pet.

Part of me wants to ignore the poster, but I feel guilty for even thinking about it.

I've talked to some friends, and their opinions are split. Some say I should return the dog, while others think it's fate that I found him.

I'm worried about the legal and ethical implications of keeping the dog, but the thought of giving him up is heartbreaking.

This situation has been weighing heavily on me. I want to do the right thing, but I'm not sure what that is.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for keeping a lost dog I found, even after seeing a poster about him being missing?

FinderOrKeeper

57. Am I the Asshole for Not Attending My Brother's Wedding?

Media Source

Reddit, I need some perspective. My brother is getting married, but I decided not to attend. Our relationship has always been rocky.

He's been quite hurtful to me in the past, and we've never really resolved our issues. His wedding invitation felt more obligatory than sincere.

My parents are upset with my decision. They believe family should come first, regardless of past conflicts.

I feel attending would be insincere and uncomfortable for both of us. I've congratulated him, but I don't want to be part of the ceremony.

Now, I'm being labeled as petty and unforgiving by my family. They think I'm overreacting and causing drama.

I've tried explaining my feelings, but it only leads to arguments. I'm feeling pressured and misunderstood.

I'm starting to doubt my decision. Maybe I should just go for the sake of family peace?

The whole situation is causing me stress and anxiety. I'm torn between my own feelings and family expectations.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for choosing not to attend my brother's wedding due to our unresolved issues?

FamilyFeudFrustration

58. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Lend Money to My Cousin?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I'm in a bind. My cousin, who I'm not very close with, asked me for a large sum of money to start a business.

I have the means to help, but I'm hesitant. My cousin has a hiof financial irresponsibility and failed ventures.

I politely declined, explaining that I'm not comfortable investing in their business plan.

My cousin got angry and accused me of being stingy and unsupportive. They've been bad-mouthing me to other family members.

Some relatives are siding with my cousin, saying I should help out since I have the resources. Others agree with my decision.

I'm feeling guilty and conflicted. I want to help my family, but I also don't want to enable poor financial habits.

I've offered to help in other ways, like providing advice or pointing them to resources, but my cousin is fixated on the money.

This has caused a rift in the family. I'm worried about long-term consequences on our relationships.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to lend money to my cousin for their business?

FinancialFamilyFeud

59. Am I the Asshole for Not Inviting My Friend to My Graduation?

Media Source

Okay, Reddit, here's my dilemma. I'm graduating soon and have a limited number of tickets for the ceremony.

I chose to invite my family and a couple of close friends. However, I didn't invite one friend who assumed they would be included.

This friend and I have had a rocky relationship recently. We're not as close as we used to be.

They're upset about not being invited and have confronted me about it. They feel excluded and betrayed.

I feel bad, but I also believe graduation is a personal milestone, and I should be surrounded by those who've supported me most.

Other friends are giving me mixed advice. Some say I should have included them to avoid drama, while others support my choice.

I'm second-guessing myself now. Should I have just invited them despite our recent issues?

The situation has added stress to what should be a happy time in my life. I'm torn between my feelings and wanting to keep the peace.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not inviting a friend to my graduation due to our strained relationship?

GraduationGuestGuilt

60. Am I the Asshole for Telling My Sister to Leave My Apartment?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm feeling like a total jerk, but I might have a reason. My sister needed a place to stay, so I let her crash at my apartment.

It was supposed to be for a few weeks, but it's been over six months now, and she shows no sign of leaving.

She doesn't help with rent or chores, and her presence is really starting to impact my personal life and space.

I finally told her she needs to find her own place and can't stay with me anymore.

She got really upset, calling me selfish and a terrible brother. She said I'm abandoning her in her time of need.

My parents are siding with her, saying family should stick together and that I'm being too harsh.

I'm feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. I need my space back, but I also feel guilty for kicking her out.

The whole situation is causing a lot of family tension. I'm starting to question if I did the right thing.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for telling my sister to leave my apartment after she overstayed her welcome?

SiblingSpaceStruggle

61. Am I the Asshole for Keeping a Valuable Item Found in a Second-Hand Purchase?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I'm in a moral quandary. I bought a second-hand couch, and I found a valuable watch hidden inside it.

I managed to track down the original owner of the couch, but I didn't mention the watch.

The watch is worth a lot of money, and I could really use that right now. I'm struggling financially.

Part of me feels like it was just luck, and I should keep it. But another part feels like I'm stealing.

I mentioned it to a friend, who said I should keep it as the previous owner obviously didn't miss it.

I'm torn. I know returning it is the right thing to do, but I'm desperate for money.

The guilt is eating at me, but so is the need for financial relief. I keep going back and forth on what to do.

This has been keeping me up at night. I'm worried about the ethical implications of my decision.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for keeping a valuable item I found in a second-hand purchase?

FindersKeepersDilemma

62. Am I the Asshole for Cancelling My Friend's Birthday Trip?

Media Source

Reddit, I've got a situation. I planned a surprise trip for my friend's 30th birthday, but I had to cancel it last minute.

My friend has been going through some personal issues, and I felt like the trip wouldn't be a good idea anymore.

When I told my friend, they got extremely upset, saying I ruined their birthday and that they were looking forward to it.

I explained my reasons, but they accused me of being insensitive and not understanding what they needed.

Our mutual friends are split. Some think I did the right thing, while others say I should have just gone through with the trip.

I feel guilty for disappointing my friend, but I also believe I made the right decision based on the circumstances.

I've tried to make it up by planning a small local celebration, but my friend is still bitter about the cancelled trip.

This situation has put a strain on our friendship, and I'm not sure how to fix it.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for cancelling my friend's birthday trip because of their personal issues?

TripTroubles

63. Am I the Asshole for Not Forgiving My Bully?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I need some advice. A person who bullied me in high school recently reached out to apologize.

They said they've changed and are trying to make amends for their past behavior.

I listened but told them I couldn't just forgive and forget what they did to me. Those years were hell because of them.

They got upset, saying everyone deserves a second chance and that I'm holding onto the past.

Some of my friends think I should let go of the grudge and accept the apology, but I just can't.

I feel like I'm being pressured to forgive for the sake of being the bigger person, but it doesn't feel right.

I'm starting to question if I'm being too harsh, but the memories of being bullied are still painful.

This situation has brought back a lot of bad feelings, and I'm not sure if I'm handling it well.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not forgiving my high school bully who recently apologized?

PastPains

64. Am I the Asshole for Keeping My Sister's Secret from My Parents?

Media Source

Okay, Reddit, I'm in a moral dilemma. My sister confided in me about something personal, and she made me promise not to tell our parents.

It's a pretty big deal, and I feel like our parents should know, but I promised her I wouldn't say anything.

She's afraid of how they'll react and doesn't want to deal with the fallout right now.

I'm torn between keeping her secret and feeling like I'm lying to my parents by omission.

My sister is relying on me, but I'm feeling increasingly uncomfortable keeping this from our parents.

I've hinted to her about telling them herself, but she refuses and gets upset whenever I bring it up.

This secret is starting to weigh on me, and I'm worried about the consequences if our parents find out I knew all along.

I'm caught between loyalty to my sister and my responsibility to my parents.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for keeping my sister's secret from my parents, even though I feel they should know?

SecretSiblings

65. Am I the Asshole for Not Attending My Friend's Wedding Due to Cost?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm feeling pretty low. My friend is having a destination wedding in an expensive location.

I simply can't afford the trip, accommodation, and all the associated costs.

When I told my friend, they were really disappointed and said I wasn't making enough effort.

I've tried explaining my financial situation, but they seem to think I should just find a way to make it work.

Now, I'm being accused of not valuing our friendship and missing out on a once-in-a-lifetime event.

Other friends are taking sides, and it's become a big issue within our group.

I feel guilty for not being able to attend, but I'm also frustrated that my financial limitations aren't being understood.

This is putting a strain on my friendship, and I'm not sure how to resolve it without going into debt.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not attending my friend's wedding because I can't afford it?

WeddingWalletWoes

66. Am I the Asshole for Rejecting My Neighbor's Romantic Advances?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm in an awkward spot. My neighbor, who I'm friendly with, recently confessed they have feelings for me.

I don't feel the same way, and I gently told them I just want to remain friends.

They didn't take it well and accused me of leading them on and being heartless.

We used to hang out often, but it was always platonic from my side.

Now, they're avoiding me and making our interactions uncomfortable.

Some of our mutual friends think I should have given them a chance, but I don't believe in dating someone I'm not interested in.

I'm starting to feel like I might have handled it badly, but I also believe everyone has the right to choose who they date.

This situation has made living next to them awkward, and I'm not sure how to move forward.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for rejecting my neighbor's romantic advances and wanting to stay friends?

NeighborlyNuisance

67. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Share My Lottery Winnings? Part 2

Media Source

Reddit, I'm in a situation. I recently won a small lottery jackpot, and now my family expects me to share it with them.

They argue that since we're family, we should share in each other's good fortunes. But I feel like this is my win, and I have plans for that money.

I've always been financially independent and don't rely on my family for money. The same goes for them until now.

When I told them I wasn't planning on sharing, they got angry and called me selfish.

I'm willing to help in emergencies or if someone's in real need, but I don't think I should have to share my winnings just because we're related.

This has caused a lot of tension, and some family members are now giving me the cold shoulder.

I'm starting to feel guilty and wonder if I'm being too stingy. But I also worked hard and saved to buy that lottery ticket.

I'm at a loss. I want to maintain a good relationship with my family, but I also feel like I have the right to my winnings.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to share my lottery winnings with my family?

LuckyButAlone

68. Am I the Asshole for Not Wanting Kids at My Wedding?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I'm facing backlash for a decision about my wedding. I've chosen to have a child-free ceremony and reception.

My fiancé and I agreed that we want our wedding to be an adult-only affair. We both love kids, but we want a certain atmosphere for our big day.

However, when we sent out the invitations with a note about this, my sister-in-law got furious.

She said it was unfair to exclude children and that I was being unreasonable and selfish, especially since her kids (my nieces) were expecting to be part of the wedding.

I understand her disappointment, but this is our wedding, and we feel strongly about this choice.

Now, it's become a huge family issue, with relatives taking sides and some even threatening not to come.

I feel like this is putting a damper on what should be a happy occasion, and I'm second-guessing our decision.

I'm trying to stand firm on what we want for our wedding, but the family pressure is becoming overwhelming.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for having a child-free wedding, even though it's upsetting some family members?

WeddingWoes

69. Am I the Asshole for Keeping My Roommate's Misdelivered Package?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm in a dilemma. I received a package by mistake that was meant for my roommate. It was something I've wanted for a long time.

I knew it was a mistake, but I convinced myself it was fate and decided to keep it.

A week later, my roommate started asking about their missing package. I didn't say anything.

They contacted the seller, and after an investigation, they were told the package was delivered to our address.

I feel guilty, but I've already used the item and really like it. Plus, my roommate is kind of a jerk.

I'm torn between confessing and keeping the item, which has made things I've wanted to do possible.

This has been weighing on me, and I'm worried about the ethical implications of my actions.

I'm afraid of the fallout if my roommate finds out I kept their package, but I also don't want to give up the item.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for keeping my roommate's misdelivered package?

PackagePredicament

70. Am I the Asshole for Not Lending My Car to My Brother?

Media Source

Okay, Reddit, here's my issue. My brother asked to borrow my car for a weekend trip, but I refused.

He's not the most responsible driver and has had a couple of accidents in the past.

When I said no, he got angry, saying family should help each other out and reminded me of the times he's helped me.

I've worked hard for my car and am worried about it getting damaged or worse.

Now, he's sulking and telling our family that I'm being selfish and unreasonable.

I feel like I'm stuck between wanting to help my brother and protecting my property.

This has caused tension in the family, and I'm starting to feel guilty.

I'm wondering if I'm being too protective of my car and if I should just let him borrow it.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not lending my car to my brother, considering his driving history?

CarConundrum

71. Am I the Asshole for Not Inviting My Step-Sister to My Birthday Party?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm conflicted about a decision I made. I'm planning a birthday party and decided not to invite my step-sister.

We've never gotten along well, and she often makes snide remarks about me to others.

When she found out about the party, she confronted me and accused me of being petty and exclusionary.

My parents are upset with my decision, saying I should be more inclusive and forgiving.

I just want to enjoy my birthday without any drama, and her presence would make me uncomfortable.

Some of my friends think I'm making the right choice, while others believe I should try to mend fences.

I'm feeling guilty and wondering if I'm being too harsh by not inviting her.

This whole situation is causing stress and division in the family, and I'm not sure how to handle it.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not inviting my step-sister to my birthday party due to our strained relationship?

BirthdayDilemma

72. Am I the Asshole for Not Attending My Friend's Surprise Party?

Media Source

Reddit, I need some advice. My friends planned a surprise party for one of our mutual friends, but I decided not to go.

The friend in question and I had a falling out recently. We haven't spoken in weeks, and things are still tense.

I felt like my presence at the party would be awkward for both of us and potentially ruin the surprise for them.

When I told the others, they said I was being petty and letting personal issues get in the way of a group celebration.

They think I should put aside our differences for one night and just show up for the sake of the group.

I'm worried that going might make things worse and don't want to create drama at what should be a happy occasion.

Now, I'm feeling guilty for potentially letting my friends down and for not supporting our mutual friend.

I'm torn between maintaining my own comfort and not wanting to be a bad friend.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for choosing not to attend a surprise party for a friend I'm currently not on good terms with?

PartyPariah

73. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Babysit My Nephew?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I'm in a bit of a bind. My sister asked me to babysit my nephew for the weekend, but I refused.

I love my nephew, but he's a handful. The last few times I babysat, he was very disruptive and difficult to manage.

I explained to my sister that it's too stressful for me, and I need a break from babysitting duties.

She got upset and said that family should help each other out, especially since she doesn't have many other options.

Now, she's not talking to me, and my parents are saying I'm being selfish.

I feel bad for letting my sister down, but I also feel like I have the right to say no.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm being unreasonable for not wanting to babysit, but the thought of doing it again fills me with dread.

This has caused a rift in the family, and I'm not sure how to make things right without compromising my own wellbeing.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to babysit my nephew because he's too difficult for me to handle?

NoNannyHere

74. Am I the Asshole for Not Wanting My Friend to Move In?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm in a tricky situation. My friend is going through a tough time and asked if they could move in with me temporarily.

I live in a small apartment and value my privacy and personal space. I'm also not sure how long this temporary arrangement would last.

I told my friend no, and now they're upset, saying I'm not being a supportive friend.

They reminded me of times they've helped me out, and now they feel like I'm abandoning them when they need help.

Some of our mutual friends think I'm being cold and should let them stay with me.

I'm feeling guilty, but I also worry that having them live with me could strain our friendship.

I've offered to help them find other accommodations, but they say it's not the same as staying with a friend.

This situation is making me question whether I'm being a bad friend or just setting healthy boundaries.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not wanting my friend to move in with me during their tough time?

PersonalSpacePatrol

75. Am I the Asshole for Not Sharing My Inheritance?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I've got a moral dilemma. I recently inherited a significant amount of money from a distant relative.

My siblings, who weren't mentioned in the will, are now expecting me to share the inheritance with them.

I feel like the inheritance was left to me for a reason, and I have plans for that money, including some long-term investments.

They're calling me greedy and saying I'm not considering the family.

I've offered to help them with specific needs or debts, but they're insisting on getting a portion of the inheritance.

This is causing a lot of tension and arguments within the family, and I'm feeling pressured and overwhelmed.

I'm starting to question if I'm being unfair, but I also believe I have the right to use the inheritance as I see fit.

I'm torn between wanting to maintain peace in the family and feeling like I should be able to control what I rightfully inherited.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not sharing my inheritance with my siblings?

InheritedIssues

76. Am I the Asshole for Cancelling Plans Last Minute?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm feeling pretty bad about something I did. I had plans to meet up with a group of friends, but I cancelled last minute.

I've been feeling really overwhelmed and anxious lately, and I just didn't have the energy to socialize.

When I cancelled, my friends got upset and said I was being flaky and unreliable.

They don't understand the mental health struggles I've been dealing with, and I didn't feel comfortable explaining it all to them.

Now they're questioning our friendship and my commitment to the group.

I feel guilty for letting them down, but I also feel like I needed to prioritize my mental health.

I'm starting to wonder if I should have just pushed through and gone, despite not feeling up to it.

This situation has made me feel even more isolated, and I'm not sure how to explain it to my friends without sounding like I'm making excuses.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for cancelling plans with my friends last minute because I was feeling overwhelmed?

AnxiousCanceler

77. Am I the Asshole for Not Inviting My Co-Worker to My Wedding? Part 2

Media Source

Reddit, I need an outside perspective. I'm getting married soon, and I decided not to invite a co-worker who thinks we're closer than we are.

This co-worker is nice, but we only interact at work. I've never socialized with them outside the office.

When the wedding came up at work, I didn't discuss the details, but my co-worker assumed they would be invited.

Once the invitations were sent, and they didn't receive one, they confronted me, feeling hurt and excluded.

I explained my stance, but they accused me of being unfriendly and elitist, saying it would have been a nice gesture to include them.

My other colleagues are divided on this. Some think I should have invited them to maintain a good work relationship, while others support my decision.

I feel bad for causing hurt feelings but also believe I have the right to choose my wedding guests.

This situation has made things awkward at work, and I'm wondering if I made the wrong call.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not inviting my co-worker to my wedding, given our limited relationship?

WeddingInviteWoes

78. Am I the Asshole for Keeping a Stray Cat?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I'm in a moral quandary. I found a stray cat a few months ago and decided to keep it.

The cat didn't have any identification, and no one in the neighborhood claimed it. It's become part of my family.

Recently, I saw posters around the neighborhood about a missing cat that looks like the one I found.

I'm torn. I've grown attached to the cat, but I also know someone is missing their pet.

Part of me wants to ignore the posters, but I feel guilty for even considering it.

I've asked a few friends, and they're split. Some say the cat is mine now, while others think I should return it.

The thought of losing the cat is heartbreaking, but I'm worried about the ethical implications of keeping it.

This situation has been weighing heavily on me. I want to do the right thing, but I'm not sure what that is.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for keeping a stray cat I found, even after seeing posters about it being missing?

CatConundrum

79. Am I the Asshole for Not Lending My Dress to My Sister?

Media Source

Okay, Reddit, here's my issue. My sister asked to borrow a dress of mine for a special event, but I said no.

It's not just any dress – it's a designer dress I saved up for and have a strong emotional attachment to.

She's upset, saying that as sisters, we should share everything, especially for important occasions.

I've lent her clothes before, but this dress is special to me, and I'm worried about it getting damaged.

Now, she's telling our family and friends that I'm being selfish and stingy.

I feel torn between wanting to help her out and protecting something valuable to me.

This has caused a rift between us, and I'm starting to feel guilty.

I'm wondering if I'm overvaluing the dress and if I should just let her borrow it.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not lending my special dress to my sister for her event?

DressDilemma

80. Am I the Asshole for Not Helping My Friend Move?

Media Source

Reddit, I need some advice. A friend asked me to help them move this weekend, but I declined.

I've helped them move several times before, and it's always a huge, unorganized ordeal that takes up the entire weekend.

I explained that I have other commitments and can't dedicate that much time this weekend.

They got upset, saying that friends should be there for each other and that I'm bailing on them.

Some of our mutual friends think I'm being unreasonable and should just help out.

I feel like I'm always the one who gets asked to help with things like this and that my time isn't being respected.

I'm starting to feel guilty, but I also feel like I need to set boundaries.

This has put a strain on our friendship, and I'm not sure how to navigate it without feeling like I'm being taken advantage of.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not helping my friend move because of past experiences and time constraints?

MovingMatters

81. Am I the Asshole for Telling My Neighbor to Quiet Down?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I've got a neighborhood issue. My neighbor plays music loudly late at night, and it's been disrupting my sleep.

I've asked them politely several times to keep it down, especially after 10 PM, but it hasn't made a difference.

Last night, I lost my temper and yelled over the fence for them to shut up.

They're now angry, saying I was rude and have no right to tell them what to do in their own home.

Other neighbors have mentioned the noise too, but no one else has confronted them about it.

I feel like I might have overreacted, but I also think it's reasonable to expect some peace and quiet at night.

This has created tension in the neighborhood, and I'm wondering if I should have handled it differently.

I'm worried about the ongoing relationship with my neighbor, but I also need to be able to sleep.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for telling my neighbor to quiet down after repeated disturbances?

SleeplessSuburb

82. Am I the Asshole for Not Sharing My Professional Contacts?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm facing a professional dilemma. I've built a network of valuable contacts over years in my industry.

A colleague, who's relatively new, asked me to share my contacts so they can get ahead faster.

I refused, explaining that these relationships are based on mutual trust and respect, and I can't just hand them over.

They accused me of being selfish and hindering their career progress, saying it's normal to help out colleagues.

Some of my co-workers agree with them, arguing it's all about teamwork and supporting each other.

I believe in helping, but I also think it's important to build your own connections. I worked hard for mine.

This has caused some tension at work, and I'm feeling pressured and misunderstood.

I'm starting to question if I'm being overly protective of my network or just maintaining professional boundaries.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not sharing my professional contacts with a colleague?

NetworkGuardian

83. Am I the Asshole for Telling My Roommate to Clean Up?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I'm living with a roommate who's messy to the point of it being a problem.

I've asked them multiple times to clean up after themselves, especially in common areas, but it doesn't stick.

Yesterday, I lost my cool and told them they need to start cleaning up or find somewhere else to live.

They got upset, saying I'm overreacting and being a control freak.

Other friends think I should just clean up myself if it bothers me that much, but I don't think that's fair.

I feel like I'm living in a dumpster, and it's affecting my mood and ability to relax at home.

I'm starting to wonder if I was too harsh, but I also feel like basic cleanliness is a reasonable expectation.

This conflict is straining our living situation, and I'm not sure how to resolve it without feeling like a maid.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for telling my roommate to clean up or move out?

TidyTroubles

84. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Lend Money to a Friend?

Media Source

Okay, Reddit, here's the deal. A friend of mine is in a financial bind and asked me for a significant loan.

I've lent them money before, and it took ages to get it back. I'm hesitant to do it again.

When I refused, they accused me of being a bad friend and not understanding their situation.

They reminded me of times they've helped me in the past, and now I feel guilty.

Mutual friends are split on this; some think I should help out, while others say I've done enough.

I want to be supportive, but I also need to protect my finances, especially since I'm saving for something important.

This situation is causing tension in our friendship, and I'm unsure how to handle it without causing more issues.

I'm questioning whether I'm being too stingy or just being financially responsible.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to lend money to my friend again?

FiscalFriendship

85. Am I the Asshole for Not Wanting My In-Laws Over for Holidays?

Media Source

Reddit, I've got a family situation. My spouse wants their parents to stay with us for the holidays, but I'm not keen on the idea.

They're nice people, but our last few visits were stressful, and they overstayed their welcome.

I suggested we visit them instead or find them a nearby Airbnb, but my spouse insists they stay with us.

Now, they're upset, saying I'm being unwelcoming and not considering their feelings.

My in-laws are hinting that I'm being a bad host and not embracing the family.

I'm feeling pressured, but I also value our space and peace, especially during the holidays.

This is causing tension in my marriage, and I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable.

I want to keep everyone happy, but I also dread the thought of a chaotic and uncomfortable holiday season.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not wanting my in-laws to stay with us for the holidays?

HolidayHostHesitation

86. Am I the Asshole for Keeping a Found Wallet? Part 2

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I'm in a bit of an ethical bind. I found a wallet on the street with a significant amount of cash but no ID.

I waited around to see if anyone would come back for it, but no one did, so I took it home.

I told a friend about it, and they said I should just keep the cash as a 'finders fee.'

I was tempted, and I really need the money, but I also feel guilty about keeping someone else's property.

A few days later, I saw a poster about a lost wallet, matching the one I found.

I didn't return it, convincing myself that the person probably wouldn't miss the money as much as I needed it.

Now, I'm torn between the relief the money has brought me and the guilt of keeping it.

This is weighing on me, and I'm not sure if keeping the wallet was the right thing to do.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for keeping a wallet I found, even after seeing a poster about it being lost?

FinderOrThief

87. Am I the Asshole for Refusing to Give Up My Seat on the Bus?

Media Source

Reddit, I had an awkward encounter on a crowded bus and need your opinion. I managed to get a seat on a particularly busy day.

A few stops later, an older person got on. There were no seats left, and nobody else seemed willing to stand up.

I usually would offer my seat, but I had a really bad day – my back was hurting, and I was exhausted.

I didn't give up my seat, and the older person had to stand. I felt guilty but also too physically drained to stand.

Another passenger started muttering about how disrespectful and selfish young people are today, and I felt like they were talking about me.

I'm torn because I believe in being respectful, especially to older people, but I was genuinely not feeling well.

Now, I'm wondering if I should have just pushed through my discomfort and given up my seat.

It's been bothering me, and I'm not sure if I was being selfish or if it's okay to prioritize my health in that situation.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not giving up my seat on a crowded bus to an older person because I was feeling unwell?

BusDilemma

88. Am I the Asshole for Not Wanting to Share My Food?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I'm in a bit of a food-related conflict. I'm a foodie and love to cook elaborate meals for myself.

My roommate, who usually eats out or orders in, has started to expect that I'll share my meals with them.

I've shared a few times, but I explained that these meals are my way of treating myself, and I can't do it regularly.

They called me selfish and said it's mean to cook such nice food and not share, especially since we live together.

Some of our friends think I should just share to avoid tension, but others agree that it's my right to enjoy my own food.

I feel like I'm being made out to be the bad guy for wanting to enjoy something I put effort into.

I'm starting to feel guilty and selfish, but I also don't think it's fair to be expected to share every time.

This has created some awkwardness at home, and I'm not sure how to resolve it without giving up my culinary pleasures.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not wanting to share my food with my roommate?

FoodieFeud

89. Am I the Asshole for Cancelling a Friend's Visit Last Minute?

Media Source

Okay, Reddit, I need some perspective. I had plans for a friend to visit me for the weekend, but I cancelled last minute.

The reason I cancelled is because I've been feeling really overwhelmed with work and personal issues.

My friend got upset, saying I ruined their plans and that they were really looking forward to the visit.

I tried to explain my situation, but they didn't seem to understand and accused me of being a bad friend.

Some of my other friends think I should have just gone through with the visit to avoid hurting their feelings.

I feel terrible for cancelling, but I also felt like I wouldn't have been good company given my current state.

I'm questioning whether I should have put my friend's feelings above my own need for space and quiet.

This situation has put a strain on our friendship, and I'm unsure how to make amends.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for cancelling my friend's visit last minute due to feeling overwhelmed?

OverwhelmedHost

90. Am I the Asshole for Not Lending My Laptop?

Media Source

Reddit, I'm in a tech dilemma. My laptop is crucial for my work and personal projects.

My cousin, who's in college, asked to borrow it for a week since theirs broke down.

I said no because I need it daily and can't afford to be without it, even for a week.

They got really upset and said family should help each other out in times of need.

Some family members are siding with them, saying I should be more understanding and accommodating.

I feel like I'm being put in a tough spot. I want to help, but I also can't compromise my work and personal commitments.

This has caused some family friction, and I'm feeling guilty and pressured.

I'm wondering if I'm being too protective of my laptop or just being practical about my needs.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for not lending my laptop to my cousin who needs it for college?

TechTroubles

91. Am I the Asshole for Telling My Neighbor to Control Their Dog?

Media Source

Hey Reddit, I've got a neighborhood issue. My neighbor's dog barks incessantly, especially at night, and it's affecting my sleep.

I've asked them a few times to find a way to keep the dog quieter, especially during the night.

Yesterday, I got fed up and told them they need to control their dog or I would report them.

They're now angry, saying I'm threatening them and that I don't understand how hard it is to control a dog's barking.

Other neighbors have mentioned the noise too, but they haven't directly confronted them about it.

I feel like I might have overreacted, but I also think it's reasonable to expect some peace and quiet at night.

This has created tension between us, and I'm worried about the ongoing relationship with my neighbor.

I'm not sure if I should have been more patient or if my request was justified.

So, Reddit, am I the asshole for telling my neighbor to control their incessantly barking dog?

BarkBattle

92. Am I the Asshole for Not Sharing My Bonus with My Partner? Part 2